Random Memorial for Monday 8/31/15

Gone but not forgotten:  Oliver and Wes, but NOT James Earl.

This is what happens when you spend too much time on the Facebook ... it starts to become your news feed and you mistake what you see there for actual news.

Which is why I started to mourn he who supplied the Vader voice (my first glimpse of him) and he who drove Miss Daisy (the Jessica Fletcher edition) on Broadway (my last recent glimpse of him, courtesy of the PBS), after having saw his death notice crawl across my Facebook feed this weekend.

Turns out he's alive.  And that was a hoax.  And he's not dead.

Although Oliver Sacks and Wes Craven are.  Dead.  "-Er than a doornail" dead.  And things happen in threes ... so consider yourself all on notice.  Just know that it's NOT (yet) Mr. Jones.

Brainy guy and scary guy (but not guy with more than enough gravitas for all of us [quite yet]), you will be missed.

HE'S ALIVE!:
http://www.cnn.com/2015/08/30/entertainment/james-earl-jones-not-dead-feat/

HE'S NOT!:
http://www.nytimes.com/2015/08/31/science/oliver-sacks-dies-at-82-neurologist-and-author-explored-the-brains-quirks.html?_r=0

AND NEITHER IS HE:
http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/wes-craven-horror-maestro-dies-818806

Random Scandal Sheet for Sunday 8/30/15

What southern Florida is talking about this week:

Random crime.

Just like when I'm back in the small hometown in which I grew up, the best thing about the Sunday paper (after the funny pages) is the police blotter.  (Unlike the newspaper back home, the local log is anonymous, which takes away some of the fun).

As you can see from this recent entry in my new hometown, there is a bit of variety in the crime that is occurring.

Smash and grab is still the number one activity (all doors should always be locked, although car windows often get smashed for just the hopes that the tiniest bit of change will help the criminals get their next flakka fix).

On a lighter note, I'm so hoping that the crime in the final entry (written in a very German sentence structure) involved interpretive dance:  "someone moved around some items in a home's backyard".

Stay safe out there!

OH SO MANY SMASHERS AND THE GRABBERS OUT THERE:
http://miami.cbslocal.com/2015/08/06/bso-smash-grab-thieves-committing-dozens-of-crimes-across-county/

THE FUNNIEST OF THE BLOTTER ENTRIES:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/03/19/funniest-police-blotters-ever_n_837942.html

INTERPRETIVE DANCE AND FOOTBALL INTERSECT:
http://www.jsonline.com/sports/packers/aaron-rodgers-interpretive-dancer-b99562154z1-322593481.html

Random Soapbox for Saturday 8/29/15

I don't mean to go off on a rant here, but ...

... this Trolli "sour tooth" ad is giving me nightmares.

Maybe it's a sign of my old(er) age, and maybe the expected customer is supposed to enjoy the weirdness of a commercial where a smiley toothy man reaches into his mouth to yank out his extreme sour tooth, a older gentleman in kabuki makeup of unknown ethnicity with a thick accent who slaps him upside the head. yelling "you LIKE-a the sour?" multiple times.

I've had a tooth or two pulled in my day, and part of me now wonders if there are little men from my mouth out wreaking havoc in the world ... and the rest of me struggles to sleep at night for fear that the little guys still in there are going to take advantage of me while I'm unconscious, accosting (or worse yet, molesting) me as I rest.

And heaven help any older gentleman in kabuki makeup of unknown ethnicity with a thick accent whom I run into on the street, because my policy will be to slap first and ask questions later.

(Is this what the slow descent into madness is supposed to feel like?)

THE COMMERCIAL GIVING ME THE NIGHTMARES:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w6MHw_SzNYA

MORE ANIMATION BLOOPERS TO GIVE YOU NIGHTMARES:
http://www.dorkly.com/post/71752/these-cgi-blooper-gifs-will-haunt-your-nightmares#item-1

SPEAKING OF BAD ADVERTISING:
http://www.cbsnews.com/news/the-10-worst-advertising-fiascos-of-all-time-starting-with-tiger-woods/

Random Flashback for Friday 8/28/15

Just one more (set of) picture(s) from the way it was ... twenty years ago ... in 1995 ... at the townhouse (aka 705 Greentree Village in Lebanon PA).

Of course, if you were one of our frequent visitors, then you were used to seeing Catwoman and Batman at the bottom and the top of the stairs (respectively).  There's also a giant sized Penguin, but I honestly don't remember where he was in this apartment.  (He might have been right next to Batman and I just didn't get a picture of him ...)

They came from Hills Department Store, where I was working at the time of the release of 'Batman Returns' in 1992, where they once hung from the ceiling of the Bat-shop in the front of the store at that time.

AND ... I STILL HAVE THEM.

Sure enough, they are a part of my bat-collection in my bat-cave that has grown over the years, although they still are the biggest things of that kind in that mix of collectibles.  Of course, the edges have become a little more "edgy" over the years, and at least one of them has a baseball bat wound (Guinness and baseball bats and young person angst aren't a very good mix).

But yes indeed, from apartment to apartment and house to house and state to state, they have made the move with me, an ever present reminder of my bat-past.

Random Thought for Thursday 8/27/15

DEAR Sunday paper people:

I appreciate the fact that you are excited about the advent of football season.

SO excited that you apparently attempted to cover lots of different angles in this past edition,

HOWEVER, what I'm looking for is the same level of detail about a certain team in blue and white from central PA, as, you know, I'm a transplant here from that area (via Chicago).

ADMITTEDLY, that may seem like an unreasonable request to some, but if you're going to go all out and provide FIVE extra sections ... really, why not a SIXth?

THANKS for considering my suggestion (and for printing a tiny version of that PState schedule on one of the back pages).

HERE's to the upcoming kick off of that season (the only football, other than that annual advertising fest called the Super Bowl, about which I am interested)!

IT ALL STARTS NEXT WEEKEND:
http://www.fbschedules.com/ncaa-15/big-ten/2015-penn-state-nittany-lions-football-schedule.php

I'M KIND OF HAPPY ABOUT THIS RETURN TO TRADITION:
http://espn.go.com/college-football/story/_/id/13266392/penn-state-nittany-lions-going-back-no-names-jerseys

SOME STATS LOOKING AHEAD TO THE NEW SEASON:
http://www.sbnation.com/college-football/2015/6/1/8682523/penn-state-football-2015-preview-schedule-roster

Random Wordplay for Wednesday 8/26/15

Hey Ladies!

Used in a sentence:  "Hey Ladies!  Congratulations on your voting rights!"

[Note ... depending on your age, you might have read that opener in the voice of Jerry Lewis (or maybe he's just on your mind this close to Labor Day and the tradition he once led) ... or possibly you heard the Beastie Boys? ... ]

Regardless, on this, the 95th anniversary of the success of the suffragette movement ... congratulations on getting the voting rights!  Or, as the proclamation states (according to the Wiki):

WHEREAS, the women of the United States have been treated as second-class citizens and have not been entitled the full rights and privileges, public or private, legal or institutional, which are available to male citizens of the United States; and

WHEREAS, the women of the United States have united to assure that these rights and privileges are available to all citizens equally regardless of sex;

WHEREAS, the women of the United States have designated August 26, the anniversary date of the passage of the Nineteenth Amendment, as symbol of the continued fight for equal rights: and

WHEREAS, the women of United States are to be commended and supported in their organizations and activities,

NOW, THEREFORE, BE IT RESOLVED, the Senate and House of Representatives of the United States of America in Congress assembled, that August 26 of each year is designated as "Women's Equality Day," and the President is authorized and requested to issue a proclamation annually in commemoration of that day in 1920, on which the women of America were first given the right to vote, and that day in 1970, on which a nationwide demonstration for women's rights took place.

A SUGGESTION AS TO HOW CELEBRATE TODAY:
http://www.doonething.org/calendar/womensequalityday.htm

HEY LAAAAAAADY:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WryLqx4i-RI

HEY LADIES (ALTERNATE REFERENCE):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Naf5uJYGoiU

Random Tune for Tuesday 8/25/15

Stoners ... do NOT come after me based on this image.

This is all about my occasional series called Discarded Cassettes (which I *still* hope is an eighties cover band playing somewhere in the country tonight), a name I've given to a series of posts about how I'm *finally* getting rid of cassettes for which I *also* have a matching CD in the collection.

And, in so doing, each (every other) week, I'm letting the fact that this is happening dictate the tune being chosen to feature from off the item being discarded.

Of course, that's proving to be quite the challenge for some cassettes that have a dozen and a half classic choices like this "best of" collection.

In the end, it's the tune I fell asleep to in Becca's dorm room at Moravian College back almost twenty years ago on the night that DJ "lost" his Porsche.  Which, of course, begs for that full tale to be told ... but you'll have to wait for a Flashback Friday in 2016 to catch that ... until then ... here's hoping that Jim and the boys' 'Riders on the Storm' lulls you to sleep as well (unless you're listening to this whilst driving on a road trip ... and then, STAY AWAKE please) ...

REALLY?  AN ACTOR OUT ON LOAN?  NEVER KNEW THOSE WERE THE WORDS!:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DED812HKWyM

Random Memorial for Monday 8/24/15

Gone but not forgotten:  Yvonne Craig, aka *my* Batgirl.

Sure, the actress was more than just Barbara Gordon on the classic TV series that I recall as a youngster ... but much as I just saw in the classic scene from the movie 'Neighbors' when the two characters bond over who is Batman in their minds (i.e.  Keaton vs Bale ... which proved again how old *I* am, seeing as how my answer would first be West), when it comes to that role in the DC universe, Yvonne would be the one I picture if asked to image-associate with the Batgirl concept.

(And, seeing as how the 60's TV show IS my first reference, that also means that I'm relatively oblivious to the comic book life of the Batgirl, both before [Betty Kane anyone?] and after [wheelchair bound Oracle, Cassandra Cain, Stephanie Brown and Birds of Prey associations, I'm talking about you ...])

So, to the woman who likely inspired *this* figure from my own Bat-collection (yes, I have a Bat-collection ... what of it?) ... you will be missed.

RIP YVONNE CRAIG:
http://www.cnn.com/2015/08/19/entertainment/yvonne-craig-batgirl-death/

THE FULL BATGIRL STORY:
http://dc.wikia.com/wiki/Batgirl

THE BATGIRL *I* REMEMBER:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9jLyhkjSXDc

Random Scandal Sheet for Sunday 8/23/15

What southern Florida AND Lebanon PA AND Chicago IL are talking about this week:

Flakka.

If I didn't know any better, I'd have thought that the current drug scourge is following me around ... what with its prevalence in my hometown, and my most recent hometown of a dozen years and my current hometown.

Except I know it's not about me, and it's just a coincidence that those three counties in which I lived almost all of my life make the top 10 list.

A sad coincidence, at that.

However, if the next chart I see includes Dauphin and Fayette counties in PA (the other places where I had mail delivered to an address with my name on it), then I'm going to go full on conspiracy theory.

Just sayin'.

Also just sayin' ... stay safe out there people in the counties where I live (and where I've lived) ... the world gets a touch crazier each and every day that passes!

MY INITIAL POST ON THE CRAZE EARLIER THIS YEAR:
http://www.capcognition.blogspot.com/2015/04/random-soapbox-for-saturday-42515.html

COINCIDENCE THAT THE PLACES I'VE LIVED ARE FLAKKA-F*&#ED, RIGHT?:
http://www.sun-sentinel.com/local/broward/fl-flakka-broward-epicenter-20150802-story.html

DON'T BE CAUGHT UNAWARES:
http://fusion.net/story/117767/a-complete-guide-to-flakka-the-horrible-street-drug-terrorizing-south-florida/

Random Soapbox for Saturday 8/22/15

I don't mean to go off on a rave here, but ...

... Danke Danke to the Sundance channel for putting my German degree to good use by airing the authentically German series Deutschalnd83.

I think I'm about halfway through the season (watching it on demand as I do before it expires), and it is very true that I rely heavily on the closed captioning, but it's still nice to hear the language again on a regular basis.

The story has an East German boy crossing the border to serve as a spy, and it shares an anxiety about how the Cold War could have meant that Germany would have been ground zero in any nuclear conflict that is familiar from my studies ... and my semester abroad there.  Even better, one of the characters is in a commune in Koln ... and I got to see the train station that I used each day to get back and forth to my host family across the Rhine in BergischGladbach.

It is amazing to me that, just seven years after the drama that is captured in the series, I was there in 1990 skipping school for a day to hightail it to Bonn when Gorbachev came to town ... and chopping off my own piece of a "deconstructed" Berlin Wall when our student cohort did a field trip to that city.

And if nothing else ... it has an amazing soundtrack for any child of the 80's like myself!  Sehr toll!

THE MANY MANY DEFINITIONS OF TOLL:
http://mymemory.translated.net/en/German/English/sehr-toll

FIND IT ... WATCH IT!:
http://www.sundance.tv/series/deutschland-83

I REMEMBER *THIS* HANGING ON SOMEONE'S WALL WHEN I WAS THERE IN '90:
http://www.zombietime.com/zomblog/?p=504

Random Flashback for Friday 8/21/15

Last week was the living room ... tonight is my "office".

Although, truth be told, this was all one room seeing as how the pictures I'm referencing were from the townhouse at Greentree back in the day *twenty* years ago ... and how that space was one big common area wrapped around into the little kitchen.

It's interesting to see that sailboat art work (original ... from my surrogate grandmother JoAnne [RIP]), which has followed from place to place these last two decades ... and the collection of my *favorite* books separated from all the rest that are still kept in a special place in today's library (Richard Adams, Herman Wouk, CS Lewis and Susan Cooper, in case you can't zoom in to see them).

One thing that didn't survive?  That monstrosity that was my computer for my college years (yes, that's a floppy disk drive ... and yes, I'm *that* old).  But hey, it's where I stored all my murder mysteries from that time, and more than a few college papers, so it definitely had a useful purpose.  The ancient typewriter sitting next to it is just for show (and it also still exists ... just for show).

As for Catwoman ... well I'll save that story for next week ...

Random Thought for Thursday 8/20/15

[Tonight ... the 10th entry into the occasional series called 'Super-short sTROYies' ...]

CATASTROPHIZE MUCH?

4:51am:  AWAKEN to the sound of silence, which shouldn't be as the overhead fan is to be rotating, and the AC is to be cycling, and the stand up fan is to be blowing.

4:52am:  CONCLUDE that the power is out -- not in an "oh poor fuse had too much stress" kind of way, but in a "these are the type of blackouts about which they make documentaries years later".

4:53am:  CONSIDER that the utility company recently called to warn residents of the fact that e coli might have been in the water and SPECULATE that maybe it's e coli that has gotten into the electricity instead.

4:55am:  DETERMINE that, after trying for two whole minutes, it is too hot and too quiet now to stay asleep.

5:00am:  SIT anxiously on the couch, wondering if the looting of the 'hood or the rising of the sun will come first.

5:01am:  CONFIRM that the baseball bat is still hidden by the front door and that the butcher block full of knives is within arm's reach of the back door ... seeing as how the fancy alarm runs off of electricity, which is no longer available.

5:02am:  REALIZE that others might have guns for this type of situation, but that I shouldn't, because I'm the type of person who would enjoy shooting at the ground near the feet of strangers just to make them dance.

5:04am:  WONDER how best to re-train the puppies to quit being so darn cute and friendly now that the apocalypse is nigh.

5:06am:  RECALL that half the 'hood is Creole, and REGRET that neither my high school nor my college offered that as a foreign language option, leaving me unprepared for what may now be my final hours.

5:10am:  REMEMBER that I could still access Facebook from my phone and DEBATE whether I owed the social world an announcement that it was the beginning of the end of times.

5:13am:  MARVEL at how the quality of my life was now equal to the duration of my cell phone battery.

5:20am:  GRAB the new flashlight from the hurricane expo and jot all of this down so that my last thoughts would be captured for posterity.

5:27am:  AWAKEN (again) from having dozed off, to the sounds of beeps and whirrs and whistles of all of the appliances and electronic equipment coming back to life.

5:30am:  CLIMB back into bed, making a mental note to see what degree of catastrophizing is normal ... if any at all.

THE OTHER NINE ENTRIES:
http://www.capcognition.blogspot.com/search/label/Series%3A%20Super-short%20sTROYies

A DISORDER?  WHY NOT JUST AN ECCENTRICITY?:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/in-practice/201301/what-is-catastrophizing-cognitive-distortions

A MORE "RATIONAL" APPROACH:
http://www.redcross.org/prepare/disaster/power-outage

Random Wordplay for Wednesday 8/19/15

The refrigerator is lactose intolerant!

Used in a sentence:  "The refrigerator is lactose intolerant!"

(Because, you know ... it *already* stands alone as a sentence.)

To catch you up on the story so far ... the original refrigerator sprung a leak, which is not a good thing when it sits next to the back door, as the puddle underneath becomes something like a desert oasis for all kinds of critters.  And so a new/used one was ordered through a local appliance outlet (more about them later), and at the risk of sounding like a Kardashian, a bigger and blacker one was sought out.

Which was, in and of itself, cause for celebration EXCEPT the new/used one doesn't seem to be cold enough for the milk or the ice cream (hence the diagnosis of it being lactose intolerant).  A thermometer soon proved that it just had no interest in going below 45 degrees in the lower compartment.

Here's the amazing part of the story ... the staff at that appliance outlet ... all kinds of experts in customer service.  They sent someone shortly after delivery to fix the door that wasn't closing properly ... and then again to prove that the compressor was the culprit.  And now, they have agreed to swap it out with a loaner and to have that compressor fixed so that they can return it fully functioning.  Mind you, this was on an item that only cost just over $200 to start with -- so bully to you and your team, outlet center ... and here's to the eventual upcoming happy ending.

YELPERS ARE MIXED, BUT PUT US IN THE HAPPY CATEGORY:
http://www.yelp.com/biz/appliance-outlet-oakland-park

LOOKS LIKE WE NEED TO DROP ANOTHER FIVE DEGREES:
http://www.fda.gov/ForConsumers/ConsumerUpdates/ucm093704.htm

IN CASE YOU'RE LIKE THE REFRIGERATOR:
http://www.webmd.com/digestive-disorders/lactose-intolerance-14/diagnosing

Random Tune for Tuesday 8/18/15

Well I'll tell ya something ... tonight's tune could have just as easily been last night's "Memorial for Monday".

So, last Saturday night, I finally got to see the recent theatrical release of 'Into the Woods' during movie night (because, I'm old, and that's what Saturday nights have come to), and I was quite pleased to see that so much of it was consistent with what I remembered from my first listen to the cassette tape of this musical that happened for me back in my earliest college days when I found the theatre kids at dear old LVC.

[Mind you, I've never seen this musical staged live ... unless you count that one time it was on PBS ...]

I was broken out of that lull though when I got to the scene between the baker and his father and they had what seemed like a three sentence conversation INSTEAD OF the "no more" exchange of anguish (and speaking of anguish, the princes' 'Agony' reprise was also missed).  There's a lot of advanced philosophy in between all the goings-on in those woods, but the notion that you have to stop and fix the problems instead of running away from them in order to have a life with "no more riddles, quests, curses, false hopes and goodbyes and reverses" always struck a chord with me.

And so ... I feel compelled to have it be tonight's tune ...

WE DISAPPOINT, WE LEAVE A MESS, WE DIE BUT WE DON'T:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h15HP_W4yrg

Random Memorial for Monday 8/17/15

Gone but not forgotten:  523 E Cumberland St back home in Lebanon PA.

Just a few weeks ago, I was sent this picture of the place where my childhood* home once stood (thanks Eric F).  Earlier this year, it was the site of a fire, and now it looks to be completely razed.

[*childhood in this context is defined as the time between 5th and 12th grade ...]

Much has been said about the bad things that happened in that house ... so tonight I want to talk about some of the *good* things ... the big tree in the back yard where I used to play with my matchbox cars, using the roots and the space between them as my community ... the immediate neighbors -- Mr. Bradley in the green home (whom I rarely saw but I knew he lived there ... and so, in my young creative mind, Mr. Bradley quickly became my version of Boo Radley, for all of you Mockingbird fans) and the Meileys in the other home (with the patriarch with the dutchified accent whom I've frequently mentioned every Fourth of July for his pronouncements made whilst watching the Hills fireworks each year [ohhhh ... dat vas a purrrrdy von!]) ... the 'hood kids at the time (Tom S, Jessica D, Sandi M) ... riding bike in the back alley in relatively small circles 'cause I wasn't allowed to go very far ... playing in the Quittie that ran behind that back alley behind the house ... Tippy the outside dog (back when outside dogs were an OK thing) ... the big Aframe and the little Aframe and the picnic table and the deck and my dad's woodshop (from whence all those things were made) ... the earwigs that frequently *infested* the big Aframe and the little Aframe and the picnic table and the deck ... the toybox in the basement and the hours of fun we had entertaining ourselves as kids (including the massive puppet variety shows I used to put on for my youngest sibling Rhonda G) ... and the visitors in the house, because as much as was wrong about those days, one RIGHT thing was that the "leadership" believed in entertaining and in having family over on the weekends and for holidays.

And yes, in the end, it was the house I last saw as I turned around from the other side of 422, with three boxes packed of my worldly goods, on my way to the biggest adventure of my young life, with my biological father having been woken up by my departure and having stuck his head out the front door to watch me go ... he whom I ran back to tell "don't worry about me ... I'll be just fine" as I slipped away into the night in mid March of 1989 ... it is *that* house, and the role it played in making me who I am today, that will be missed.

[In lieu of my usual companion links, here's an image of it when it was still standing, taken a few years ago during one my return trips back home ...]

Random Scandal Sheet for Sunday 8/16/15

What southern Florida is talking about this week:

... the proliferation of food truck events.

And, as someone who migrated to this locale from the NOT food truck friendly land of Chicago, I couldn't be happier.

How many food trucks are there?  Enough that there can be COMPETING events just 12 minutes from each other on the SAME night.  (I assume people first have to choose whether they want to be frenzied or invaded before they arrive and choose from amongst all the delicacies made in the trucks.)

Not listed here ... the once-every-month event that I just attended last week in downtown Ft. Lauderdale (note how I noted it's once every month, in case any of y'all want to come over for the next one in September) that was maxed out with 15 different choices (PLUS a funnel cake stand)!

I tell you ... other than the fact that I'm trying to lose some weight, *this* is a good problem to have down here.  Chef just might get to retire early!

OH CHICAGO, WHY YOU GOTTA HATE?:
http://foodtruckempire.com/how-to/chicago/

NEXT ONE IS ON SEP 11!:
http://www.sun-sentinel.com/features/fl-food-in-motion-20141003-story.html

NOW THAT I KNOW THE TOP 10, I'M GONNA BE KEEPING MY EYES OPEN:
http://www.browardpalmbeach.com/restaurants/ten-best-south-florida-food-trucks-6902828

Random Soapbox for Saturday 8/15/15

I don't mean to go off on a rant here, but ...

... maybe I should borrow *this* billboard out of Oklahoma City and get it posted out front.

I'm looking directly at you, Mr. Aaron's-Delivery-Truck-Driver.  Yes, I saw you pull in to *my* driveway today.  It caught my attention because the guard puppies "alerted" to the fact that there was a giant truck out front ... and I'm expecting a delivery of a "new" used work from-home-computer, so I also "alerted" to the fact that you were outside.

Which means I watched you try to pick up what I think is the 'hood hooker ... in the middle of the day ... in broad daylight ... negotiating your business right out front.  I know that you failed in hooking the hooker for any activity, seeing as how she sashayed away as you leered at her.  After googling your wage (see below), I'm guessing that your $10 an hour salary couldn't buy you much, or that you creeped her out with how direct you were being.

May I recommend a few things ... first, don't engage in that kind of activity whilst driving the company car as I suspect your employer might not appreciate *that* kind of advertising ... second, I suggest researching the goods, because I believe that you'll find better pickin's if you try to make your love connection in the evening hours (admittedly, there's something to be said for the fifty year old without teeth if you're into grandma gumming your junk, but have a little more respect for yourself) ... and third, and most important to me ... NO HOOKING ON MY CORNER (well, not "my" corner as in "that's *my* corner on which to hook and not yours "... but *my* corner as in "not in front of me and mine").

I will award bonus points for you backing out gingerly enough to not damage the young tree out front ... but, then again, that was after you saw me watching you from my front door ...

THE ORIGINAL NO HOOKING SIGN:
http://www.koco.com/news/neighbors-post-no-hooking-zone-sign-near-40th-robinson/25501042

THE SOURCE OF HOW I KNOW YOU CAN'T AFFORD HER:
http://www.glassdoor.com/Hourly-Pay/Aaron-s-Delivery-Driver-Hourly-Pay-E1083_D_KO8,23.htm

BECAUSE SEX WORKERS ARE HUMAN TOO:
http://sexworkersproject.org/

Random Flashback for Friday 8/14/15

1995 was a year of transition for me in many ways ... the biggest of which being the move from LVC student to law school student at Widener ... but also at the top of the list was a change in the living arrangements at the townhouse.

Those details are coming up on some Fridays in the fall, so I thought the next few weeks of summer would be the perfect time to look back at the way 705 Greentree Village *was* before it changed ...

It's funny to think that I still have that poster from Koln and the "original" painting (from Hills ... so not so original after all).  However, the giant couch and the fish are gone (they were Jarrod's) and the books in the library have grown exponentially (I struggle now to keep them organized into *eleven* bookcases instead of just two).  The sad thing from this photo ... the beer bottle collection barely visible above the cupboards in the kitchen area got left behind in Harrisburg during the big move to Chicago in 2001.

All in all, though ... good times ...

Random Thought for Thursday 8/13/15

Let me start here:  I do not want tonight's random fact (the last of these snippets from the local bar rag that have been part of these posts most of this week) to fall into the hands of any xenophobes, or to be used by anyone looking to revive the "yellow peril" arguments of last century or to be twisted up into some presidential political agenda.

I simply find it fascinating, in a "perspective" kind of way, that this would be true (i.e.  if the population of China walked past you, in single file, the line would never end because of the rate of reproduction) ... especially with the understanding that population control and wanting to have a boy and the drowning of girl babies was sold to me as Chinese modern reality over the years.

Of course, the interwebs being the interwebs, in preparation for tonight's post I was also able to find a source dedicated to disproving "fake facts" that says it is more likely that it would take between 20 and 50 years for that parade of Chinese to pass ... still a heck of a long time, but not exactly the eternal meet and greet that the factoid seemed to promise.

And ... well ... now you know ... do with that information as you wish ...

ON MODERN 'YELLOW PERIL':
http://therumpus.net/2013/04/yellow-peril-and-the-american-dream/

ON CHINA'S POPULATION CONTROL:
https://www.pop.org/content/violent-population-control-continues-china

ON DISPROVING THE FACT:
http://rumkin.com/fun/trivia/index.php?category=4

Random Wordplay for Wednesday 8/12/15

Stewardesses and lollipop(s).

Used in a sentence:  "You'd have thought that Mr. Putt would have taught us the random typing fact about stewardesses and lollipop(s), but yet I'm pretty sure that I learned about it firsthand just last week in one of the local bar rag papers full of random facts."

[YES ... this does look like Monday's post this week ... and YES ... there will be another one tomorrow that will look very similar.]

Of course, seeing as how I had my typing class long long ago (in the late eighties ... and YES I wear it as an "old folks" badge of honor that I spent time in high school learning how to type on an actual honest-to-goodness typewriter [an *electric* one, in case that was your next question]), there's a chance that I *did* learn how stewardesses is the longest word typed with ONLY the left hand ... and how lollipop is the longest word typed with ONLY the right one.  If not, I know it now (and just marveled again at the fact as my fingers moved across the keys).

Well, "marveled" may be a strong word ... but you know what I mean.

THE SOURCE OF THIS WEEK'S FACTS:
http://www.aroundtownnews.com/

ALSO REVERBERATED AND MONOPOLY:
http://www.dumbfacts.com/facts/directory-of-facts/language/typing/

WE NO LONGER TEACH TYPING 'CAUSE WE ASSUME THEY ALL ALREADY KNOW:
http://www.technologyreview.com/view/425018/out-of-touch-with-typing/

Random Tune for Tuesday 8/11/15

Living in southern Florida as I do, I must begin with a disclaimer for fear that my residence gets attacked by the Cubans (they are a loyal bunch) ... this photo is not a darn thing against the super talented Gloria Estefan or any of her Miami Sound Machine.

As a reminder, this ongoing "Discarded Cassettes" series is for those ancient cassettes that I can finally throw out because I have cross-referenced them against my CD collection and documented that they are a duplicate (everyone does this, right?) ...

Further proof that I love me some Gloria E, although I normally pick my favorite tune of the album being discarded, I've already previously posted some favorites ('Go Away' in the summer of 2010 and 'Always Tomorrow' in January of 2012).  The common thread for both of those posts ... they were during my vacations to Miami, when I always packed this CD to blare when going over the MacArthur Causeway past Star Island.

Luckily, though ... this collection is full of amazing tunes ... including tonight's choice.  Seeing as how I grew up in Pennsylvania, it seems somewhat appropriate that I finally put up the first song that she released after her horrific bus accident there.  As someone fond of the occasional rebirth, it's comforting to hear her announce that "starting again is part of the plan".

I FINALLY SEE THE LIGHT NOW:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QS7qLDizDYo

Random Memorial for Monday 8/10/15

[Almost] Gone but not forgotten ... or, said another way ... gone and then remembered:  Betty Rubble, and her chance to get eaten once a day.

One of the local bar rags (called AroundTown, and it's mostly photos of randy senior citizens and the waitstaff who service them) includes all kinds of random facts (you'll see a few of them throughout this week ... but not enough to declare it an official theme week like I used to do).  This one caught my eye ... and so I went fact-checking on the interwebs to include this as today's post.

Turns out that Betty *was* missing for a long long time ... until the live action movie came out and Rosie O'Donnell, who played her, campaigned, successfully, to get her added to the mix.  (That name is probably familiar as she's connected to the Trump ... maybe a mistress but I'm not sure ... I didn't have time to fact check that one ... but I know from the debate that she's *very* relevant to *his* campaign ...)

Someone should go tell the AroundTowners ... because Elizabeth Jean "Betty" Rubble (née McBricker/O'Shale), thanks to Rosie, you are no longer missed (well, at least to the daily vitamin crowd).

THE BETTY RUBBLE IS MISSING FACT CHECK:
http://www.omgfacts.com/lists/6388/Betty-Rubble-was-not-added-to-Flintstones-vitamins-for-nearly-30-years-ab630-0

DO KIDS EVEN *WATCH* THIS CARTOON ANY MORE?:
http://www.flintstonesvitamins.com/

BAMM-BAMM WAS ADOPTED! (THE INTERWEBS HAVE NO SECRETS):
http://flintstones.wikia.com/wiki/Betty_Rubble

Random Scandal Sheet for Sunday 8/9/15

What southern Florida is talking about this week:

Had I succeeded in posting this *before* 9:30am, I would have commented about how "fun" it is that menstrual "humor" is now front and center in the national news (and have thanked the Trump for that whilst reminding him that Presidents are allowed to say "vagina" instead of the more colloquial "wherever").

But I didn't ... and at 9:30am, I got a robocall informing me that the town I lived in was under a boil water alert because some e coli was found in the system last Friday (thanks for the timely notice there, eh?).

And so today was about hoping the dishwasher water is HOT enough to kill off any extra bugs, and replacing the liquid in the pet gravity water bowls with newly purchased bottled water, and picking up some ice since ice cubes made from spigot water is no longer a guaranteed safe thing ... just the usual the world is ending type stuff (I *told* you we, as a generation, are living apocalypse-adjacent).

As I said to the cashier at the grocery store, it usually only kills kids and seniors (so hopefully you have extra of each of those in your life) ... and, because I see the e coli glass as half-full, maybe my attempts at weight-loss will see escalated results in the days ahead ...  Stay tuned (and stay safe out there)!

IT MAY BE ALL OVER TOMORROW:
http://www.sun-sentinel.com/news/fl-lauderdale-boil-water-order-20150809-story.html

CURIOUS ABOUT THE E COLI?:
http://water.epa.gov/drink/contaminants/basicinformation/ecoli.cfm

WHAT *WOULD HAVE* BEEN FEATURED INSTEAD:
http://www.mum.org/humorjok.htm

Random Soapbox for Saturday 8/8/15

I don't mean to go off on a rant here, but ...

... Dear punk-ass kid behind me in the Walgreen's checkout line:

When you were denied your cancer-sticks because you did not have ID, and when you pointed to me, who was standing off to the side waiting for the manager to come along with the key that opened the storage unit outside where the grill gas can units were kept, how DARE you tell the cashier that I was your daddy.

Having already claimed that you were thirty years old, your little attempted ruse would put me in my fifties and I am only JUST halfway through my 43rd year.

To be clear, I might have actually gone along with the scheme had you referred to me as your older brother ... or your uncle (although I was an uncle before I was born [a few times over], so that can get a little tricky in these modern times).  We needn't even go the familial route ... you also could have gotten me to participate in the sham had you referred to me as your probation officer ... or your co-worker ... or your boss ... some kind of relationship that didn't automatically come with an insult about my age.

Hell, you could have even said I was your lover and I would have feigned fey to help sell the shtick ...

But DADDY?  DADDY??  How could someone with my baby face be YOUR daddy?

I hope you can never buy cigarettes again (and have a nice long healthy life because of it [which, I'll admit, is a unintended positive consequence to the curse I just tried to place on you]).

DADDY.  Sheesh.  I'm young, dammit.  (Aren't I?)

TURNS OUT THAT I WOULD HAVE BEEN BROKEN THE LAW HAD I PARTICIPATED:
http://laws.flrules.org/node/1279

LOOKIE WHAT I FOUND WHEN I WENT GOOGLING FOR "I'M NOT YOUR DADDY":
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fLf6MIdE1BE

LOOKIE WHAT I FOUND WHEN I WENT GOOGLING "YOU ARE NOT THE FATHER":
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oywnl8tpPWA

Random Flashback for Friday 8/7/15

So ... once upon a time ... I was involved in a volunteer organization called HOBY (if you've regularly seen these flashbacks on Fridays, it comes up a few times a year for these years of two decades ago).

I represented our high school and attended as a sophomore back in 1987, and then was the designated PMA person one year (that's Positive Mental Attitude ... and yes, it was an honor and yes, every event should have one), and then served as a counselor, and then sat on the board, and then I had to back out at the last minute one year and my relationship with them ended.

But back in 1995, things were going just fine and I was also heading up a HOBY alumni chapter in central PA ... and this was the picnic a bunch of us had that summer ... at South Hills Park back in my hometown of Lebanon.  A picnic and a bunch of people ... all OUTSTANDING (that's an inside reference ... and a bit of my PMA training shining through ...)

Random Thought for Thursday 8/7/15

A few thoughts ...

... thanks to the debate planners for scheduling tonight's festivities on the final night that Jon Stewart is on the air ... what a gift!

... thanks to the debate planners for creating a "kiddies table" separate debate concept ... I'm hoping when I watch it in a few moments, it was set up exactly like this accompanying image.

... thanks to the debate planners for including the Trump in tonight's event.  Saturday Night Live is off for the summer and just in reruns, but I figure that "Live ... from Cleveland ... it's Thursday Night Live!" is going to be just as enjoyable.

... thanks to the political process.  Lookit -- I've supported Republicans, Democrats and Independents in my lifetime.  I've gone on record as being fascinated by the concept of a third party, except that I was a poli sci major so I know that third parties are generally cults of personality or driven by a single issue, which is usually their downfall.  But more than anything, and despite some gentle ribbing, the debates are an exciting part of watching our democracy play out.  (Sure, the cynical might say that the outcome is a foregone conclusion with money ultimately determining the winner ... but let me watch tonight's activities through my rose colored glasses, please ...)

Bring on the master debaters!

TO THE KIDDIE TABLE YOU GUYS:
http://www.nbcnews.com/politics/2016-election/gop-candidates-react-being-excluded-primetime-debate-n404171

DEBATE PROGNOSTICATORS ON WHAT TO EXPECT:
http://www.nbcnews.com/meet-the-press/first-read-what-expect-tonights-gop-debate-n405066

ON THE SUBJECT OF THE KIDDIE TABLE:
http://elitedaily.com/life/culture/kiddie-table-reigns-supreme-thanksgiving/863686/

Random Wordplay for Wednesday 8/5/15

'My (big) breasts and ME' or 'my (small) breasts and I'

Used in a sentence:  "According to last night's TVGuide listings (remember ... my name is Troy and I'm a television addict ... so this document is kind of like my Bible), BBCAmerica seems to be confused with the grammar rules as applicable to their back to back programming from last night in that they don't seem to know whether their episodes should have been titled 'My (big)breasts and ME' or 'my (small) breasts and I'.

Grammarians out there should feel free to correct me (but only on this ... not on any of the other rules with which I play fast and loose), but I believe the reason for the confusion might be that the rule over whether it should be "ME or I" when talking about one's bosom depends on the full sentence and not just the stand-alone clause.

Meaning ... it would be correct to say:  "The audience members at the wet T-shirt contest were very friendly to 'my big breasts and ME' after I won", and also correct to say:  "'My small breasts and I' can more easily blend in when skinny dipping with the guys."

But it would be just as correct to say:  "'My big breasts and I' survived when the boat sank due to my extra buoyancy" and "Chicken pox and mosquito bites look gigantic next to 'my small breasts and ME.'"

Or you could go the Oprah route and just change the wording to avoid the grammar quandary.  In lieu of my usual companion links ... here's how her and her OWN people titled a show on the same evening in the same listings that I can only assume was about the very same topic:

Random Tune for Tuesday 8/4/15

Courtesy of a notification I got on the interwebs and social media, I'd like to use today's post to join in on the celebration of the 24th anniversary of the music video for *this* classic tune from the boys of Pearl Jam, apparently filmed in Seattle on this day in 1991.

1991!  Boy am I getting old!  (Well, me and all of my friends ...)

I feel it safe to assume that that would have been the year that I heard the tune for the *first* time ... I know with almost certainty that the last time I heard it (well, the last time I heard 'Alive' LIVE anyway) was at the concert almost two years ago in Baltimore around Halloween.

Here's what I had to say about it back then, revived as appropriate for tonight's observance:

"The moment of catharsis that only Pearl Jam can provide came just before that finale, when all the lights came on in the arena, and everyone sang 'Alive', one to another.  Because although many of us couldn't personally relate to the specifics in the lyrics of that song, we all could triumphantly admit, that despite whatever trauma we'd been through individually, as a collective body, at exactly that very moment, with the lights up so that we could look into each others' eyes if we so chose, we all, strangers and friends alike, were individuals who were most definitely 'still alive (yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah)'.  Like the Native American in the classic pollution commercial, it may be that a single tear rolled down my cheek at that moment, although, if asked, I'd have said that it must have just been irritation from the sweet sweet smelling smoke that wafted up through the crowd every so often.  As Eddie said from the stage that night referencing the loss of Lou Reed earlier that day, 'music heals'.  Amen, brother Eddie, amen."

YEAH-YEAH-YEAH-YEAH-YEAH:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qM0zINtulhM&feature=youtu.be

Random Memorial for Monday 8/3/15

Gone but not forgotten:  Tillie Tooter!

Lest you *had* forgotten before reading now of her passing (this past weekend, at the age of 98), she was the grandma who survived three days trapped in her car that went off the road ... getting by by eating miscellaneous items she found in her vehicle, finding water from squeezing socks she had put out in the rain, and doing other things that would make the most hard core survivalist proud of her skills whilst trapped in the driver's seat.

That was a car that went into a thicket of mangroves off of I-595 ... in the middle of August in southern Florida ... snake and alligator infested mangroves at that ... and she was rescued after seventy some hours when a teenager finally spotted her in the swampy mess (in her words, when she was all but dead).

Tillie Tooter, for whom I have an even much greater appreciation for her survival instincts now that I actually live here and better understand the environment in which she found herself for those few days back in 2000, you will be missed.

A WHERE ARE THEY NOW ON HER FROM A FEW YEARS BACK:
http://www.today.com/id/34343587/ns/today-today_news/t/grandma-who-crashed-swamp-going-strong/#.Vb93DPlViko

TILLIE TOOTER RIP:
http://www.local10.com/news/tillie-tooter-woman-survived-days-snake-infested-mangrove-swamp-dies/34488306

TILLIE TOOTER RIP (TAKE TWO):
http://www.sun-sentinel.com/local/broward/sfl-tillie-tooter-survivor-of-2000-plunge-from-i-95-dies-20150801-story.html

Random Scandal Sheet for Sunday 8/2/15

What southern Florida is talking about this week:

This guy ... remember him?

To put it in perspective, little Elian Gonzalez, now no longer little, is probably only being talked about by those who caught the NatGeo channel's recent miniseries on the 2000s and who got to experience the "hindsight is 20-20" retelling of the tale of the 2000 election aka "the one with the hanging/pregnant/dimple/tri/swinging/corner chad".  (According to the source below, the plural of chad is ... chad.)

Just like their previous takes on the 80's and the 90's, this edition also is very clever at interweaving the stories of the decade and tying them together in an interesting way.  Specifically, the theory they posit is that the fact that the Clinton administration intervened and sent Elian back to Cuba was the likely reason that Gore lost Florida, seeing as how the final recount margin was only just over 500, and 50,000 more Floridian Cubans voted Republican in that election than in the one prior.

So if the moral of the story is "don't piss off the Cubans" ... and in light of the recent thawing of relationships ... I'm thinking that 2016 might end up with a similar outcome ... I, for one, can't wait to be a part of all the drama!

FIND THE SHOW:
http://channel.nationalgeographic.com/the-2000s-a-new-reality/

RECALL THE CHAD:
http://www.miamisouth.com/chads.html

REMEMBER THE ELIAN:
http://abcnews.go.com/International/elian-gonzalez-feels-now-return-cuba-15-years/story?id=31160775

Random Soapbox for Saturday 8/1/15

I don't mean to go off on a rant here, but ...

... I feel like *this* needs to go viral on the Facebook ... or get retweeted ... or go up on billboards ... or be flown along the beach by those little airplanes ... or become the slogan of a twenty-four "news" channel ... or be painted on the side of barns ... or be a full page ad in the paper ... or show up on a church sign ... or be worked into a sermon ... (you know, depending on which generation you are and how susceptible you choose to be when it comes to being bombarded with marketing messages).

In other words ... welcome to marriage shaming part 2 (... but a completely different arena, as foretold during the last rant last week).

Lookit ... I am all for reasonable debate, discourse and discussion about controversial topics (for those of you who grew up on social media, you might have to ask some old folks what that means), and I understand that not everyone is happy that marriage no longer has a qualifying word before it courtesy of SCOTUS.

But here's the problem ... those who crossed the fine line into becoming sanctimonious whilst "protecting the sanctity" of marriage best not have a frequent member discount at the local bridal boutique if you want to lead the charge protesting against the civil rights changes.  So a county clerk in Kentucky who has "protected the sanctity" of FOUR marriages is not the spokesperson that those with selective scripture syndrome should be presenting as a hero.  (Closer to my new home ... the Florida attorney general had the same problem ... until it [and she] became irrelevant to the discussion.)

To be honest, history moved too quickly for me to ever get my post up about the issue ... but I was all prepared to suggest that the marriage equality fight was miscast from the outset ... that it should have been about DIVORCE equality ... as that was less religiously messy (since nobody seems so worried about the divorce Bible verses where the divorced woman has to wait until her former husband has to DIE before God smiles on a new union [yet again ... the beauty of selective scripture syndrome]).  Admittedly, I'm a child of divorce myself (make that divorces plural ... nine of them for those who might wonder about *my* frame of reference in the ongoing debate).  On the flip side, maybe we could all get behind some David style divorces ... i.e.  spy the one you want bathing naked on the nearby rooftop (creepy!)) and then send her husband to the front line of battle where he's bound to be killed (clever!) so that you can get all Woody Allen on Bathsheba and have "what the heart wants".  Who's with me!

One last thing ... let's not forget that Jesus was running around with his posse of 12 guys, long after the age when most frat guys finally give up that kind of lifestyle (unless you're the boys from Entourage), milling about with the riff-raff and the streetwalkers and the like ... a confirmed bachelor to the end (despite what Dan Brown says).  Just enough to make a person wonder ...

Speaking of wondering ... what a different world in which we would be living if we could somehow inspire a clearcutting campaign to have individuals looking inward to deal with their own issues instead of being all up in the speck-shaming business of others.  What clarity could come from such a Jesus-sanctioned initiative?  Maybe *that's* what heaven is?

THOU HYPROCRITE!:
http://www.kingjamesbibleonline.org/Matthew-7-5/

OF NOTE, THEY DO NOT APPROVE GIVING THE DIVORCE STORY MORE CRED:
http://www.thenewcivilrightsmovement.com/davidbadash/couple_denounces_attacks_on_county_clerk_married_four_times_who_denied_them_a_marriage_license

OK, OK ... IF THIS IS ALL TOO DEEP, THEN HOW'S ABOUT A LITTLE HUMOR:
http://www.rd.com/slideshows/funny-church-signs/view-all/