Random Thought for Thursday 6/30/11

So I was home for the Memorial Day holiday, and I took my biological father to the Neidermyer Reunion (I have to post those pics ... maybe this weekend or else I might as well save them for a May 2031 Friday Flashback, assuming Facebook lives that long and we all survive the Dec 2012 Mayan apocalypse). In the car, our conversation turned serious as I brought up the recent passing of his sister, and he did disclose to me that he'd like to buried in his Santa Claus suit.

Mind you, he was born in 1923 -- but it was during a moment of lucidity, so I feel that I should take him at his word. I just wonder if that kind of thing has been done before. Or if it makes a mockery of the whole funereal experience. Or if we're just asking for a "chuckles the clown" kind of event.

Don't know -- but I wanted to get it "in print on the interwebs", so that people don't think I'm making it up when he does pass. (And when he does, you're all invited to Santa's burial ...)

I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT I WOULD FIND IF I GOOGLED "SANTA'S FUNERAL":
http://www.justwronggreetings.com/V3/JWG/Greeting+Cards/Jewish+Humor/OY!,+OY!,+OY!--HAPPY+CHANUKAH!/~ViewCard.php~id=295

OR THIS TOPICAL NEWS STORY:
http://www.keeptalkinggreece.com/2011/05/05/greek-pm-booed-at-funeral-video/

MY BIO DAD IS AS OLD AS TIME MAGAZINE:
http://www.thepeoplehistory.com/1923.html

Random Wordplay for Wednesday 6/29/11

Neverlution.

Used in a sentence: "It is shaping up to be a perfect holiday weekend - not because of any planned fireworks displays, but because I have 1.25 paid days off (thanks for those flex Fridays!), a new air conditioner for the bedroom (it's threatening to be authentic triple digit heat for the first time in six years this weekend), the Klitschko fight on Saturday (after seeing the Max Kellerman FaceOff special on HBO, I am looking forward to any kind of knock out at any time for Haye) and the airing of comedian Christopher Titus' Neverlution special on Comedy Central on Sunday night (one of ... the ... best ... comedians ... ever)."

And now I'll just repeat myself from a post on March 6 earlier this year, when he was in town:

"If you're familiar with family dysfunction and are lucky enough to have a ticket, then you've probably seen (or will be seeing) comedian Christopher Titus since he's in town. I became familiar with his particular style of genius when he had his eponymous show on FOX a few years ago, but he's a master of taking you to the edge and allowing you to laugh your way back. I recommend him for any who have had a less than normal life experience as we all can take a lesson from how he's used humor as a coping mechanism and to find value and perspective for the most important things in life."

IN HIS WORDS --> I'M NOT AN A$$HOLE, I'M A REVOLUTIONARY:
http://www.christophertitus.com/

IN MY WORDS --> HAYE IS AN A$$HOLE (I SAY KNOCK HIM OUT, WLADIMIR):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DFHq4VNJVI8

ON A DIFFERENT NOTE, I LIVE IN AN OLD BUILDING ...:
http://www.usfa.dhs.gov/downloads/pdf/tfrs/v2i5.pdf

Random Tune for Tuesday 6/28/11

I learned something today when I pulled out my cassette tapes to find the song to represent the letter "M" in my occasional series, "AtoZ Musical Eccentricities: the Cassette Years". I could do a whole year of posts on just this letter alone! And, perhaps more than any other letter, it illustrates the randomness and eccentricity in my collection*.

[*Here's the list ... MTV Party to Go, Mack the Knife sndt, Madonna, Man of La Mancha, Manhattan Transfer, Marcovicci (Andrea), Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch, Martika, Matthews (Dave), McEntire (Reba), Meatloaf, Mellencamp (John and just John Cougar filed under M to keep him all in one place), Metallica, Miami Sound Machine, Michael (George), Midler (Bette), Minelli (Liza), Morisette (Alanis), Mr. Mister, Murphy (Eddie -- not a typo), Music Man, Myles (Alanah).]

But one must be chosen. So I'll go with this Kids Incorporated alum's tune (and since these are cassettes, it's the original and not the one sampled by Eminem years later) ...

M is for ... MARTIKA:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LvdLovAaYzM

Random Memorial for Monday 6/27/11

Gone but not forgotten: German military conscription.


It's official. This is my last Deutsche influenced post in this Monate of Montags. And -- no more mandatory military service for Germans starting July 1. From now on, it's a volunteer army for that country with its auspicious military past. The Prussian in me (that's my father's side of the family traced back a few hundred years) is surprised, but the modern day individual with a mild-anti-authoritarian streak thinks it okay.


To be clear -- I don't want anyone to get it twisted -- not that there's anything wrong with choosing to serve your country that way ... I'm just saying that I'm not one who takes orders well. I have friends and family members who have served and who are serving, so please don't anyone skim this and think I'm making sweeping generalizations. I'm talking about me not being cut out for the military -- and that really can't be news to anyone who knows me.]


So ... for those Germans more like me, my guess is ... conscription, you will not be missed.


STEP 1 (one house):
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2011/03/24/AR2011032403900.html


STEP 2 (both houses):
http://www.newsahead.com/preview/2011/07/01/germany-1-jul-2011-military-conscription-ends/index.php


THE BIG BOYS ON THE BLOCK ONCE UPON A TIME:
http://www.germanculture.com.ua/library/facts/bl_prussia_military_power.htm

Random Scandal Sheet for Sunday 6/26/11

What Chicago is talking about this week ...

Well, maybe not all of Chicago, and maybe it's actually what True fans are talking about across the country ... but tonight brings us to what might just be the penultimate season of True Blood (Come on, Alan -- say it's not so! With so many books in the series and Harris still writing, I thought for sure that we'd get a dozen years of quality entertainment by way of allegor(e)y).

So whatever your plans are for the day (parade in the 'hood, beaching it up, watching golf on TV after the 2012 contenders are done answering every question with something about Obama instead of about themselves), just be sure you have your calendar cleared for one of the last True appointment television events -- Sunday nights with True Blood on HBO. How do I know it's so good? Because more often than not, I'll be watching the credits, grinning ear to ear, marvelling about how good it gets week after week.

BEFORE THE NIGHT IS THROUGH ...:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vxINMuOgAu8

HE SAYS HE NEEDS A VACATION:
http://www.trueblood-online.com/cast-crew/alan-ball/alan-ball-says-true-blood-could-go-a-few-more-seasons/

IT's NOW AN INDUSTRY:
http://store.hbo.com/true-blood/index.php?v=hbo_shows_true-blood&nvbar=Top+Navigation:Shows:True+Blood

Random Soapbox for Saturday 6/25/11

I don't mean to go off on a rave here, but ...

... (yep, doesn't happen too often, but too much ranting hurts my soul) ...

... I'm a few weeks overdue in talking about one of my favorite TV shows back for its mini-season. If you connect the dots between many of my posts, you'll know that I watch a lot of television. And for every Hell's Kitchen or ANTM, there's got to be an Independent Lens or an Amazing Race to balance it all out.

Or ... a Men of a Certain Age. I dedicated a mini-theme-week of Certain Age related posts back in my birthday week of January 2010, and I was silently enjoying the new episodes until catching the one entitled "League of Their Owen". Poignant, insightful, wryly comedic -- all present in scene after well-crafted scene. Nothing captures the conversations of lifelong best male friends better -- and it's the moments of "real life" in between the mid-life shenanigans that hit home the hardest.

Ray, Andre, Scott (and the actors who portray the friends and family that surround and ground you) -- my hat is off to you and the writers who delight me every week. And then there's the soundtrack ... and I'll close with the same song that ended that episode, tying together all of the characters in an oh-so-perfect way: as a fan, I'm proud to Hold [My] Head Up ..

"And if it's bad,don't let it get you down, you can take it. And if it hurts, don't let them see you cry, you can make it. And if they stare, just let them burn their eyes on you moving. And if they shout, don't let them change a thing that you're doing. Hold your head up, hold your head up, hold your head up, hold your head high!"

THE LONG VERSION OF THIS CLASSIC ROCK ANTHEM:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FBnSWJHawQQ

ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT THAT WHICH I AM RAVING:
http://www.tnt.tv/series/menofacertainage/

OTHERS AGREE -- IT WAS THE BEST EPISODE YET!:
http://www.salon.com/entertainment/tv/feature/2011/06/16/men_of_a_certain_age_season_2_a_league_of_one_s_owen

Random Flashback for Friday 6/24/11

The pics from my "moms" (that's an attempt at hipster talk and not a plural of mom) keep on coming on Fridays this summer looking back twenty years ago. And it's safe to assume that this is in that same national park featured in the ones from the last few weeks. I just love how we see an obstacle in our path and just blast a hole through the mountain. [Shhh ... no one tell John Muir.]

As for that investigation as to why I have no pictures of my own from the summer of '91, it could also be that I was just focused on LVC theatre business, attempting to blast a hole through my own obstacle or two. According to my notes, I was elected president of Wig and Buckle at the end of the school year, and we were focused on Operation Money Storm (as a reminder, Schwarzkopf was all the rage then) and Operation Iron Lung -- one a short term fund raising strategy for our bankrupt club and the other a long term financing plan for our little-group-that-could. When you're out squeezing blood out of turnips (there's an antiquated phrase for you ...), you just don't have time to document it on film.

[Or I guess there is still a real chance that my camera was just broken for those months ...]

Random Thought for Thursday 6/23/11

Hey -- I'm no foodie (I just watch them on TV) ... but is extra virgin olive oil made by those so pulchritudinally challenged (you know, pretty is just so "two-syllable") that there's just no hope of them ever "getting known (in the Biblical sense)"?

OH NO! YOU MISSED THE TOUR!!:
http://www.bravotv.com/thetour/

IT's NOT SO SALACIOUS AFTER ALL:
http://www.oliveoilsource.com/page/product-grade-definitions#evoo

BE WARNED --> THIS IS ADULT ONLY MATERIAL AND NSFW:
http://www.manolith.com/2009/08/20/65-most-ferocious-synonyms-for-having-sex/

Random Wordplay for Wednesday 6/22/11

Intergalactic Nonsense Status Week.

For example: "I lost cereal when the double time hit, and smack dab round the bend, exhaustion was yours. Damn miracle whip ... Oceans to the carnival! Post Haste!"

Lest you think I've finally tipped over the edge of my sanity, I was invited to participate in this Facebook event by a college friend -- in his words, a status update of pure unfiltered nonsense. I don't know if he has a thing for Lewis Carroll (Twas brillig and the slithy toves did gyre and gimble in the wabe ...), or if he was protesting the drivel that others sometimes post as a status update (okay, I'm guilty of that offense as well), or if he was testing out his Jim Jones skill set to see how many of his contacts he could get to participate (drink the status update kool-aid as the promised land awaits), or if it was just summer silliness (hey -- why not?) ... but I thought I'd join in in my own way.

WE'LL BE HERE ALL WEEK, FOLKS, SO IT's NOT TOO LATE TO JOIN IN:
http://www.facebook.com/home.php#!/event.php?eid=184884558230512

ALL MIMSY WERE THE BOROGROVES:
http://www.jabberwocky.com/carroll/jabber/jabberwocky.html

NOT SO FAST, SAY SCIENTISTS RESEARCHING FACEBOOK DRIVEL:
http://scienceblog.com/39388/drivel-on-facebook-more-valuable-than-we-think/

Random Tune for Tuesday 6/21/11

So it's the first day of summer. And I wanted to select a random tune that celebrated that fact.
But picking something with summer in the title seemed a little too obvious. And choosing something that spoke to "heat" seemed disingenuous since Chicago already had a super-hot spell in the past few weeks. Then I thought maybe a ridiculously long song to mimic the fact that this is the longest day of the year. But instead, I settled on a ditty that immediately connects with a distinctly summer memory.

You'll see pictures of this on Fridays next year (cause it was the summer of 1992), but it is a legitimate swimming hole up in the woods behind Dunbar (this is from my time in Uniontown) that pops into my mind every time I hear this Alan Jackson number ...

I NEVER KNEW HOW MUCH THAT MUDDY WATER MEANT TO ME:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JW5UEW2kYvc

Random Memorial for Monday 6/20/11

[Nearly] Gone but not forgotten: the study of German as a foreign language in college (another Montag, another Detusche-influenced post) ...

That's not quite true. It's more that the study of German is about to slip a spot in the popularity rankings of what foreign language college students study. American Sign Language is about to take spot #3 (behind Spanish and French), pushing German to #4 -- not that there's anything wrong with ASL; I actually tried to learn it in line at an amusement park once. Apparently, Arabic had the biggest "pop" but is still far down the list. There is still time to affect the ratings, though, as the next study comes out in 2012!

Deutsche Sprache an der Universität, if you fade away any faster, you will be missed!

THE REPORT, EXPLAINED:
http://www.usatoday.com/news/education/2010-12-08-1Alanguages08_ST_N.htm

THE REPORT, AND MORE LIKE IT:
http://www.mla.org/documents

THE REPORT, OR MORE LIKE ... THE REASON TO DO WHAT's BEING REPORTED:
http://www.usnews.com/education/best-colleges/articles/2011/02/09/4-tips-to-learn-a-foreign-language-in-college

Random Scandal Sheet for Sunday 6/19/11

What Chicago is talking about this week:

... Lakeview's deer family.

And that's d-e-e-r and not d-e-a-r. I've seen it reported as far away as Florida, but a pregnant doe landed in the middle of a very urban neighborhood to have her two little ones. And now, thanks to the attention of ... well ... fawning (go ahead and groan, I can't hear you) fans feeding her organic apples from Whole Foods, she's decided to make a go of it in one of the more expensive places to live in the city.

Or ... she would have done that -- until the authorities got involved and forcibly relocated her to "another Chicago neighborhood". I'm not sure how to interpret that generic language (was she shipped off to the hipster hood Wicker Park where everyone tries too hard to not be surprised/excited/emotional about anything? or was she sent to live with the live goats and chickens that get sacrificed (authentically, not ritually) by the Mexican populations in Pilsen?), but hopefully she's somewhere where she can shake off her new found celebrity and get back to raising her little Bambi-nos.

[And on this fathers' day, a few of us (ok, just me) are also marvelling over how I never knew the occupation of Charlie Brown's daddy until today's Sunday comics. I know the adults in Peanuts are off screen (like Linus' mom biking with Rerun, or the teacher's voice that we all know and love mimicking), but now I understand Charlie's self-esteem problems. Being the bald child of a barber must have led to feelings of inadequacy and disappointment. Comics make me sad sometimes.]

BLAME IT ON THE A...A...A...A...A...APPLES:
http://www.suntimes.com/news/5983675-418/too-many-whole-foods-treats-so-deer-must-leave-lake-view.html

THIS ALTERNATIVE JUST SEEMS SO DANGEROUS:
http://www.agfc.com/licenses/Pages/PermitsSpecialUrban.aspx

OTHER CHARLIE BROWN FACTS YOU MAY OR MAY NOT KNOW:
http://www-math.mit.edu/~tchow/peanuts/CB.html

Random Soapbox for Saturday 6/18/11

I don't mean to go off on a rant here, but ...

... actually --maybe I should start by saying that this doesn't happen often, as I tend to bloviate all over the place in particular with these posts, but I can state my complaint very simply and succinctly today.

Please, if you are going to shop at Target, don't wear the same red color shirts as all of their employees. It's embarrassing for both of us when I start asking you for assistance.

SOMEONE GOT THERE FIRST or THIS COULD HAVE BEEN CAPRICIOUS COGNITION:
http://www.grandiloquentbloviator.com/

THE INTERNETS ARE FULL OF OTHERS WHO HAVE MADE THIS SAME OBSERVATION:
http://toyquester.yuku.com/topic/458/Don-t-Wear-a-Red-Shirt-at-Target

THE INTERNETS ARE ALSO FULL OF PEOPLE BLOVIATING:
http://blog.lib.umn.edu/trail001/shades/003006.html

Random Flashback for Friday 6/17/11

This twenty year old picture could "almost" pass as someplace up in central PA -- say Potter County -- until you take a look at the space in the distance where you can make out the snow covered mountains of the Wild West. (Yep, it's another shot of my mother's trip to the Montana/Canada border in 1991). Oh -- and, dollars to doughnuts, the water in the stream is ice cold!

And speaking of being in need of ice cold water, it may be that the reason I don't have any pics of my own from that summer was because it was too hot to do anything. According to the PA weather book, Philly experienced a record heat wave that May, with temperatures of 90 or more on 12 days in May and triple digit heat arrived by the end of June -- just too too hot to take pictures, I guess!

Random Thought for Thursday 6/16/11

You've heard all the appendage jokes already, so I'll just say that there is a hint of poetic irony or Shakespearean tragedy in the downfall of Weiner after some tweet pics of his ... well ... "wiener". If you believe in a certain pre-destination, perhaps it was his name itself that foretold this ending. And, if you do subscribe to that way of thinking, then it would follow that it's a good thing that none of the women in W's family were heavy into tweeting.

[It's not nearly as insulting or disrespectful if I make you connect your own dots, no?]

IT JUST APPEALS TO THE LITTLE KID IN ALL OF US:
http://politicalhumor.about.com/b/2011/06/07/anthony-weiner-jokes.htm

TURNS OUT THIS TWEETER COMES UP FIRST WHEN YOU SEARCH:
http://www.wwltv.com/sports/Lost-in-Translation-Bushs-tweets-not-grabbing-laughs-121575694.html

JUST A NOTE -- PREDESTINATION OPENS A CAN OF WORMS IN RELIGION:
http://geneva.rutgers.edu/src/christianity/predest.html

Random Wordplay for Wednesday 6/15/11

Slip, Slop, Slap ... and Wrap!

Used in a multiple choice question:

Slip, Slop, Slap ... and Wrap! is ...

a) something you read on an activity card during one of those adult only card games.
b) the original lyrics that should have been in a Bell Biv Devoe classic (... never trust a big butt and a smile ...).
c) the lyrics to the second verse of "Splish Splash I Was Taking a Bath" (... for you older folks).
d) a catchy government slogan to prep you for how to protect yourself from the sun this summer.

And, since by this time next week the summer solstice will be upon us, the answer is (d). Save yourself from skin cancer and slip on a shirt, slop on some sunscreen, slap on a hat, and wrap on some sunglasses. [Or, for those who know me, do as I say and not as I do -- as nothing says summer to me than the sound of my shoulder skin crackling in my own ear ...]

THE SLOGAN OF "DON'T FRY DAY" SHOULD LAST ALL SUMMER LONG:
http://www.epa.gov/sunwise/dfd.html

SLAP IT UP FLIP IT RUB IT DOWN OH NO:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TdF2zqs1bxQ

SPLISH SPLASH (THE DIRTY BABY VERSION):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KzTnBMO9BxI

Random Tune for Tuesday 6/14/11

Where has this year gone?

I'm up to the letter L in my every other week series wandering alphabetically through my musical eccentricities -- and I have too many of this group's cassettes to not feature something from the same guy who played Reba's husband in the "Is There Life Out There" vid-e-o (that's three syllables, the way Reba would say it) and whom I last saw on "Hot in Cleveland" (plus the newsmen that surrounded him back then). I could pick any number of favorites, but I always liked this hopeful message ...

L IS FOR LEWIS, HUEY and the NEWS!:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WIkOVe0MF1k&feature=related

Random Memorial for Monday 6/13/11

Gone but not forgotten (almost): Wetten, Dass ...

(yep, it's the second of my series of Detutsche influenced posts in a Monate of Montags)

Oprah's not the only one retiring after 25 years -- although the departure of host Thomas Gottschalk from his famous show in Germany (the most successful Saturday night show in Europe, if you can believe all that you read in this world over-laden with hype-y superlatives) this upcoming Saturday night is much sadder. This live program of people taking on outrageous bets (pay attention, returning Fear Factor) experienced a tragedy this past December when one of the contestants became paralyzed midway through a challenge.

You said it right when you said that you couldn't possibly host a show that now had a shadow over it, but for the 25 years of entertainment pre-accident (including those I watched in Koln around the TV with my host family in the fall of 1990), you will be missed.

TOMMY GOTTSCHALK, THE LEGEND:
http://www.german-way.com/cinema/bio-thomas-gottschalk.html

TOMMY GOTTSCHALK, THE RETIREE:
http://dailyherold.tv/2011/02/12/gottschalk-leaves-wetten-dass-after-accident-with-samuel-koch/

PARALYSIS SUPPORT GROUP ('cause now that I know why he's retiring, it's kind of sad):
http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Paralysis/support-group

Random Scandal Sheet for Sunday 6/12/11

What Chicago is talking about this week:


We now have one more thing to add to the supply of fire prevention suggestions (like "stop, drop and roll" and "don't play with matches" and "no smoking while you're napping on the couch") -- keep a flashlight in the house. And it's not for when your power goes out ... but it's in case you need to search for an item under your bed. A neighborhood fire started when someone allegedly did that with a lighter in the early hours of the morning, igniting his mattress in the process, starting a multi-alarm fire. [Btw, I checked the rules of snark, and since no one died in the incident, I have free reign to mock this "under-bed explorer".]


4:45 IN THE AM, AND I NEED TO FIND WHAT's UNDER MY BED!:
http://www.chicagobreakingnews.com/news/local/chibrknews-multialarm-fire-called-after-mattress-catches-fire-20110612,0,3998979.story

FIRE PREVENTION TIPS, FOR REALS, YO!:
http://disaster.ifas.ufl.edu/PDFS/CHAP13/D13-06.PDF

MAYBE HE JUST WANTED TO PLAY THIS GAME:
http://www.experienceproject.com/question-answer/2-Things-Under-Your-Bed-Right-Now/70960

Random Soapbox for Saturday 6/11/11

I don't mean to go off on a rant here, but ...

... those trolleys for alcoholics in my neighborhood have got to go.

Admittedly, that "ban them all" attitude may be a little harsh. I can see how they serve a purpose. If frat folk and the females who love them are going to be executing on a plan to get black-out drunk in a series of bar crawls, then I have to concede that a trolley for the partying does keep them off the road and protects them (and us) from an increase in drunk driving (although, unless you sleep on the trolley or it takes you to your domicile, I would think that there's still an inebriated trip home from wherever they unload the bodies at the end of the night.)

And I can see how I have to realize that if I choose to live in a touristy area near a major sports stadium that is full of young professionals who "let go on the weekend" in a neighborhood that is surrounded by alcohol destinations for one and all, then I have to be prepared for the occasional public urinating in the back alley, or frequent drunken ding dong ditching or party trolleys that make my life problematic.

[To be clear, lest someone point out that I should "remove the plank from mine own eye", I embrace my monthly binge drinking episode -- but I walk, which reduces my sloshed-sphere-of-influence to something much more manageable and personal in nature.]

My problem with this party-on-a-trolley concept really all boils down to an incident from Friday. In the middle of Wrigley rush hour, as I'm pulling out of the garage next to my barber, cutting across backed up traffic in both lanes to take advantage of the one kind driver who is letting me through ... I get distracted by the sounds of "go Amanda ... go Amanda ... go Amanda", and see a hoochie-mama dancing in the window of a nearby establishment.

Practically in slow motion, I realize that the man in the middle of the road (of course, not a crosswalk ... but literally the middle of the road), is not waving me on to take advantage of the break in traffic, but is instead doing his best to shepherd a line of straggling young'uns who are stumbling out of the bar to cross that same traffic to get back to their trolley. I take it all in in a matter of seconds, and I can see that this Amanda that was being exhorted was not the dancer, but was instead inside the trolley at one end of a beer funnel. And, as I go to hit on the gas to escape this scene, the two women from this group on their way to be the next to get beer-hosed come into direct view in front of my car.

To which I say -- can you help me spread the word? I want folks to know that if you are going to drunkenly play in traffic, and if you find yourself in the same path as an oncoming vehicle, can it just be common courtesy that you provide some audible signal of what might occur? Because these two girls chose to knock on the hood of my car without saying a word -- and approximating the sound of getting hit by my vehicle doesn't really provide me with the kind of notice I'm seeking to move my foot from the accelerator to the decelerator.

And finally, the fuel to this fire? The time of day of this incident was 5:30 pm. Sure, it's 5:00 somewhere (and, quite literally, it was in this scenario just thirty minutes prior) and happy hour is for happy times -- but it is my expectation that rush hour is not the time of day when I need to be extra guarded about my exposure to those who have drunk away any personal responsibility for their own health and well-being!

[P.S. No Trixies (or Chads) were actually harmed in this incident. And if you aren't familiar with this distinctly Chicago stereotype of clueless affluent youth and you're old enough to recall the preppy backlash a few decades ago, you can safely draw parallels to Muffy (and Biff).]

THE DEVIL IN DISGUISE AS A GOOD TIME:
http://www.coachusa.com/chicagotrolley/rent-a-trolley/pub-crawls.asp

IT's OUT CITY, IT's OUR SLANG:
http://gatorgirlinthecity.blogspot.com/2006/07/trixie-and-chad.html

PREPPY SHALL LIVE FOREVER:
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/04/04/books/04preppy.html

Random Flashback for Friday 6/10/11

So if you're following along on Fridays this summer, you can put this picture with the others sent to me by my mother in the summer of 1991. And it's a safe bet to say that these majestic mountains were from Glacier National Park in Montana. (They remind me of the Tram ride I took outside of Palm Springs this past April ... but I have a sneaking suspicion that they are three or more times as tall ...)

And, I've been exploring why I have no pics of my own from that summer ... turns out that I was a month into my new job at Hills (speaking of mountains) Department Store making $4.75/hr, and was probably just too busy working as a cashier. Thanks Jeff Brannon for hiring me -- and Walter Allen for keeping me on for about a year (until I headed out to my internship in Uniontown PA the following May).

Random Thought for Thursday 6/9/11

I'll try my hand at something new ... I believe the gossip rags call these "blind" items ...


This formerly winged musician who divorced badly (oh no! the troubles he's had with women) is close to announcing a deal to play at least two nights within ear shot of my apartment.


And even though there's no sign of Cesar, Jack, Heath or Mark, I've seen photos of the set pieces for this new superhero musical about to be on the West End (and that's not the one all strung up with OSHA) and I can assure you that this once red hooded villain is heavily featured.


I can predict now that I do not have a future in gossip.


I DO NOT ENDORSE THIS WEBSITE:
http://blindgossip.com/


FOLLOWING ON THE HEELS OF DMB LAST YEAR:
http://chicago.cbslocal.com/2011/06/08/dates-set-for-anticipated-mccartney-concerts-at-wrigley-field/


SAME TIME, SAME CHANNEL COME THIS AUGUST:
http://www.timeout.com/london/theatre/event/208306/batman-live

Random Wordplay for Wednesday 6/8/11

Smarter Mistakes: the Troy Neidermyer Story.

Used in a sentence: "If I found the title for my not yet written auto-biography, can I claim it by putting in on the internet like this --> Smarter Mistakes: the Troy Neidermyer Story."

Giving credit where credit is due, I heard it from a contestant on MasterChef last night (waiting for Hell's Kitchen to return this July) as she was in tears and begging Gordon Ramsay for a chance. But it actually resonated with me -- what a great way to look at life. I know I'm not perfect and I have lots of mistakes before me ... but at least I can be smarter about those mistakes I've yet to make. It's like my path to self-actualization just got a lot less angst-y. I can embrace the fact that I'm a screw-up, but I'll be a smarter screw-up with each passing day. Here here!

SEASON 2 HAS BEGUN:
http://www.fox.com/masterchef/

HERE's THE SELF ACTUALIZATION CHECKLIST:
http://personcentered.com/selfact.html

OH NO ... WHAT IF THAT's COPYRIGHTED ALREADY?:
http://www.fastcompany.com/magazine/11/mistakes.html

Random Tune for Tuesday 6/7/11

Heat indices of 105. Summer has arrived -- earlier than usual, says Tom Skilling.

For those of you who think I might be old enough to need a wellness check, know that the AC is on (and is tripping my fuse like last year due to its mammothness compared to the small apartment) and I'm committed to hydration and more frequent showers (which runs contrary to my actual practice now that I work from home ...)!

Running through my brain --a tune for each of the next few days that are to be so miserable ...

THE COCKER VERSION of this LOVIN' SPOONFUL HIT:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D9wD4KhQoqA&feature=related

THE COLLINS VERSION of this MARTHA AND VANDELLAS HIT:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u1dRP5j_r3I

THE POINDEXTER VERSION of this POINDEXTER HIT:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aSNal615kgg&feature=related

Random Memorial for Monday 6/6/11

[Or ... Random Gedächtnisfeier für Montag, as it will be a Monate of Deutsche-posts on the next few Montags.]

Gone but not forgotten: German beansprouts in my diet.

An e coli outbreak in Europe has been traced back to ... first Spanish salad ingredients ... and then German sprouting ingredients (beans, alfafa, etc.) ... although now even that is suspect, according to breaking news today. The search for the contaminant continues ...

And, since they weren't in my diet to begin with, I guess they quite literally won't be missed.

ALL CLEAR ON THE DEUTSCHE BEAN SPROUTS:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1394526/German-beansprouts-E-coli-outbreak-hospitals-face-running-beds.html

THE INTERNET, HELPING THOSE WITH A DEGREE THAT HAVE FORGOTTEN WORDS:
http://translation.babylon.com/english/to-german/

IN GERMAN, YOU PRONOUNCE THE 2ND VOWEL, WHICH MAKES THIS MORE "WHINER" than "WIENER":
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20110607/ap_on_re_us/us_congressman_twitter_photo

Random Scandal Sheet for Sunday 6/5/11

What Chicago is talking about this week:

Summer weekends in Chicago translate to trips to the beach (just limit the amount of time in the dirty water, beware of the type of gang activity that closed down the most popular beach on Memorial Day, and heed my advice to not head out unless it is at least 80 degrees and the winds are less than 15 mph) and street festivals (like the Sausage Fest in Wrigleyville these last two days -- and, yes, I wouldn't be the first to say that the whole concept in that particular neighborhood is kind of redundant).

It's a short season for shorts season in this town, so bring it on!

BEACH SEASON HAS BEGUN!:

http://www.chicagoparkdistrict.com/resources/beaches/

NORTH BEACH INVADED BY STREET GANGS!:

http://www.suntimes.com/news/sneed/5694076-452/did-street-gang-activity-really-close-north-ave.-beach

IT WAS ONCE CALLED WRIGLEYVILLE MUSIC FESTIVAL:

http://neighborhoods.redeyechicago.com/wrigleyville/news-report/2011/06/03/will-sausage-fests-scandalous-name-draw-a-crowd/

Random Soapbox for Saturday 6/4/11

I don't mean to go off on a rant here, but ...

... I'm increasingly more and more frustrated in that my new phone is apparently smarter than I am.

I was perfectly happy with my "dumb" phone. I knew how to do exactly what I wanted to do (which was to make and answer calls and to text when I wanted to -- like on holidays, or when I didn't want to speak to someone, or when I was inebriated -- just like all the kids do). I could care less that the "camera" on it turned out the same quality of photo as people who have "proof of Bigfoot". I knew how it charged, how to flip it open (to the sound of snickering from those in the i-cult) to activate it ... my life was good.

And then, as if someone at my provider flipped a switch, my screen on that phone went blank. And, because I had to for work, I "upgraded" to a smart phone that I must now admit is more intelligent than I -- and that is the point when my cell-life fell apart (and, with unfortunate timing, it was while I was travelling on my trip back east over a long Memorial Day holiday weekend).

My friends at Motorola and AT&T apparently thought that I wanted to know the temperature in my last location on my phone (although, it updates on a 24 hour delay, so I'm really seeing the weather for where I was yesterday). And my Facebook contacts were dumped in to my new phone, meaning I now have to scroll through the names of dozens of people I'd never be calling or texting just to find the one that I would -- only then to discover that the "sim" card (which stands for subscriber identity module -- and not to revisit the chicken-little-rapture stories of the past few months, but I'm thinking it could just as easily be the mark of the beast) apparently uploaded contact information from years ago. And my touch screen often doesn't recognize my touch (which only serves to resurrect my mostly modern bathroom inspired existential mini-dilemmas of trying to figure out if I really exist [triggered when the faucet and the paper towel dispenser pretend I'm not standing in front of it]).

So now it lays there ... taunting me, almost whispering that it is full of features that younger kids would use to maximize their interaction with the increasingly virtual world. And I just wait for it to ring, desperately hoping that I'll know how to answer it when it does so ...

[P.S. I'm still years away from a Teddy Kaczynski moment, so don't be alarmed or call the feds after reading this rant ...]

IF SIM CARD IS TO MARK OF BEAST, THEN ANTICHRIST IS TO ... THIS GROUP?:
http://www.gi-de.com/en/index.jsp

THE BRAVO IS THE BANE OF MY EXISTENCE AT THE MOMENT:
http://www.motorola.com/Consumers/US-EN/Consumer-Product-and-Services/Mobile-Phones/Motorola-BRAVO-with-MOTOBLUR-US-EN?localeId=33

TED KACZYNSKI'S ANTI TECHNOLOGY MANIFESTO:
http://cyber.eserver.org/unabom.txt

Random Flashback for Friday 6/3/11

Here's another of the pics from the 1991 wild wild west trip that my bio mom sent me -- and I think it's clear that she was now in Glacier National Park, wherever that may be.

[Who am I kidding -- of course I looked it up. It's on the northern border of Montana and Canada ...]

And with no pictures of my own from that summer, I had to go research what I was doing at that time. Turns out -- nothing too glamorous. Apparently, according to records I found in my files, I spent the summer of 1991 with multiple visits to Dr. Stachowicz (where my sister Sherry had once worked) to get my teeth's fillings fixed. If only I had those x-rays, I could put them up here for a flashback one Friday ...

Random Thought for Thursday 6/2/11

I learned something new driving across the country this week ... if you blast Aerosmith "out your speakers" while on any of those state turnpikes, between Joe Perry's preternatural guitar riffs and pre-Idol Steven Tyler's high pitched wails, you just might think that you're hearing sirens and slam on the brakes unnecessarily. Be forewarned ...

HERE, YOU CAN FOLLOW THIS DAY IN AEROHISTORY:
http://www.aeroforceone.com/

ON THE STUDIO ALBUM, THERE's THE CAT HOWL THAT STARTS THIS SONG:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DOlJQUnjpf8

PROTECT AGAINST ACCIDENTAL APOPTIC CELL DEATH (slammin on the neuron breaks):
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/15322527

Random Wordplay for Wednesday 6/1/11

Nature Nepenthe.

Used in a sentence: "After all the tornado and stormy weather and Mother Nature's a mean old lady headlines of the last few weeks, it was actually kind of nice to drive from PA through OH and IN to my home in CHICAGO and to see the beauty of this time of year -- a bit of a nature nepenthe if you will."

I think it started at the family reunion when all the young 'uns were playing in the 'crick' in the 90 degree temps ... but then it was the lush beauty of the oh-so-green Allegheny "mountains" of central PA, the farm families on display throughout the midwest (and whether it was sheep or goats or cows or horses, all were busy tending to newborns and filling the air with that unmistakable farm fresh smell). I even started considering counting the many deer I saw in the fields by the road as a game of Bambi-esque punchbuggy, until it got all morbid when I tried to assign some kind of point system to account for the occasional venison road kill I saw along the highway.

And then news tonight of the storms in Massachusetts ... quick, close my eyes and think happy sunshiny, green meadow-y, baby animal-ish thoughts ...

With a return to work looming on tomorrow's horizon, it's time for the Respite Respite that's supposed to go with the Nepenthe.

ONCE UPON A MIDNIGHT DREARY ...
http://www.heise.de/ix/raven/Literature/Lore/TheRaven.html

MASSACHUSETTS TORNADO PHOTO SPREAD:
http://www.buzzfeed.com/mjs538/tornado-in-springfield-massachusetts

PUT THAT ROADKILL TO GOOD USE:
http://allrecipes.com/Recipes/Meat-and-Poultry/Game-Meats/Venison/Top.aspx