Random Thought for Thursday 1/31/13

Consider this a public service announcement to all those who might be seeking scholarship money for school -- stay away from the Spencer Scholarship Plan.

Well -- unless you are into that sort of thing*.

*that sort of thing = a weekly stipend plus the promise to pay school tuition for women who agreed to be spanked by the 54 year old benefactor if they broke certain rules, like not calling him regularly or drinking too much alcohol**

**drinking too much alcohol = just a guess, but probably not any at all, as that is one of the things that would trigger the paddling from the old man

By the way, six women sued for assault because he took the spanking too far, but the jury dropped the charges since they agreed to it.  Careful young folk -- everything comes with a price!

THE LAWSUIT DETAILS:
http://content.usatoday.com/communities/ondeadline/post/2011/05/virginia-man-charged-in-spanking-for-pay-scholarships--scheme/1#.UQsdCx1X1PI

IF YOU WANT THE $, YOU HAVE TO PLAY BY THE RULES:
http://gawker.com/5804105/crazy-rich-businessman-enacts-metaphor-for-america

PERHAPS A BETTER PLACE TO SEEK SCHOLARSHIP INFORMATION:
http://www.kaptest.com/Newsweek/paying-for-it/searching-for-scholarships.html

Random Wordplay for Wednesday 1/30/13

It's official -- I'm going to the Super Bowl

Used in a sentence to demonstrate how things should always be viewed in the right context (I'm talking to you, extremist talking heads across the political spectrum):  "It's official -- I'm going to the Super Bowl location from last year in order to break my alco-fast* this upcoming weekend."

[*I haven't had a drink since the early hours of Jan 1 -- not for choice, but because of circumstance.]

Look -- January has been a bust for me.  February can only get better (I'm requesting no deaths, no life-threatening illnesses of loved ones, no sudden changes to vacation plans and no stockroom fires).  So why not celebrate a party weekend in what is currently the favorite getaway place.  It doesn't matter to me that I'm a year late -- I'm just excited that the hotel room will look down on Lucas Oil Stadium, that I'll get to walk around Monument Circle (in this photo, all decked out for SB festivities a year ago) and that I had the foresight to take Monday off to make this a long relaxing weekend for a fresh start to 2013.

Bring on the bowl!  Bring on the Indy!

MAYBE THE PARTY WILL BE BACK IN 2018:
http://www.profootballweekly.com/story/permalink/33624

I DON'T LIKE CROWDS SO MAYBE NOLA WAS ALWAYS OUT OF THE QUESTION:
http://www.neworleanssuperbowl.com/

TICKET COST and AD COSTS (ADJUSTED FOR INFLATION):
http://www.theawl.com/2013/01/adjusted-for-inflation-super-bowl

Random Tune for Tuesday 1/29/13

I am a syllable-whore.

I think that works.  I mean I've been called a point-whore when I throw darts (as my skill set is much lower than my luck set -- so if I'm ahead, I best build a cushion), as I guess that fits to describe the fact that I am attracted to multi-syllabic words and entertain the use of them as often as they'll have me.

I've cited high school teachers and their insistence on using WordWealth in our education as the cause for my predilection.  And then I thought ... wait a minute ... maybe Robert Palmer deserves part of that praise.

Unavoidable ... irreversible ... invincible ... and then the climax verse with inscrutable and irrefutable ... no wonder I'm drawn to big words that are ... simply irresistible.

THERE'S NO TELLIN' WHERE THE MONEY WENT:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rfAraUEgDJk

Random Posting for Penn State 1/28/13

Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in! ... Attica!  Attica! ... Hoo-ah! ... Say hello to my little friend!

Michael Corleone.
Frank Serpico.
Sonny Wortzik.
Tony Montana.
Alphonse "Big Boy" Caprice.
Frank Slade.
Tony D'Amato.
Roy Cohn.

And now ... Joe Paterno.  Do us well, Al we'll all be watching ...

A BRIAN DE PALMA PRESENTATION:
http://www.nytimes.com/2013/01/18/sports/ncaafootball/al-pacino-to-play-joe-paterno-in-movie.html?_r=0

Random Memorial for Monday 1/28/13

Gone but not forgotten:  civility between kidnappers and their victims.

Last week, I mentioned the growth of workplace incivility.  And today, I now mourn the breakdown of the social contract in general (note -- that's social contract in lower case letters;  I don't need any extremists calling me a socialist just because I typed the word social ...), but specifically in how it plays into the relationship between the parties involved in a kidnapping.

And the story speaks for itself ... but here are the highlights:  Criminal from Colorado is running from the police, makes it all the way to Kansas, breaks into a home and holds a couple at knife point, the couple feeds him Cheetos and Dr. Pepper and watches a movie with him, criminal falls asleep, couple escapes and criminal is caught.  When the couple sues for trespass, infliction of emotional distress, etc. ... the criminal counter sues for breach of oral contract since the couple "agreed" to hide him for an undisclosed (and unpaid) sum.

I'm not one to generalize like Billy S that "the first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers" ... but the system is definitely more than a little broken when you hear about these types of goings-on (or is that going-ons?) ...

Oh the good old days when you could count on the fact that your kidnapper wouldn't turn around and sue you after the event, you are missed.

[P.S. - I'm adding Cheetos and Dr. Pepper to my shopping list for next week to keep in the apartment for my own protection against interlopers, just like how those doomsday preppers are ready for anything (that isn't going to happen to them).]

WHEN AN ORAL CONTRACT GOES BEYOND SUPPLYING CHEETOS AND DR. PEPPER:
http://abovethelaw.com/2011/12/lawsuit-of-the-day-kidnapper-sues-hostages-for-breach-of-contract/

THIS GUY'S FEATHERS ARE RUFFLED -- THE QUOTE IS TO A CHARACTER:
http://www.michbar.org/journal/article.cfm?articleID=401&volumeID=30

PROVING ONCE AGAIN THAT YOU CAN FIND ANYTHING ON THE INTERNET:
http://idreamofbaby.com/forum/showthread.php?95718-Hot-Cheetos-and-Boiling-Dr-Pepper

Random Scandal Sheet for Sunday 1/27/13

 

What Chicago is talking about this week:

Sometimes checking out the news on Sunday mornings is just too depressing (shootings, stabbings and now a string of fires like we're Detroit or something?) or just too eye-opening (wait -- Timbuktu is a really place?  and it's now a hotspot in the worldwide war on terror?), and so it's important to go looking for good news somewhere in this big city.

And, thanks to the Facebook, it's now easier than ever before to find Chicago news that is worth talking about in the week ahead (and before you get confused, there's no scandal here ["scandal sheet" is just used by me as a stand-in for "news" each week, as it's an old-timey substitute for "newspaper" that I conscripted for my blogging construct]) -- and I've found just such newsworthy nuggets -- local talent doing well, making it big and being extremely worth you taking a moment to become more familiar with them.

First up -- read Amy L, a voice for this generation (with a decidedly Chitown "accent", as she herself states) on her blog Scribbling of Thoughts, found on ChicagoNow (at the link below).  I had the pleasure of working with Amy a few years back in my company's local office ... but now I know that the true pleasure comes from getting to know her all over again through her writing.  And what you read on her blog may be firmly grounded in this geographical area, but the subject matter transcends any artificial boundaries -- and the heart she pores into her posts is something this world needs more of.  Check her out ... and let her words inspire you ...

But that's not all to talk about in Chicago this week -- hear Jenny Dragon, another voice for this generation, as they celebrate the release of their "rootsy debut album 'A Fair Souvenir'" on TH Jan 31 at Martyrs' here in Chicago.  (See more details on their website at the link below.)  I met some of the Dragons (Sarah G and Brian S) at work a few years back (dude -- I'm tellin' you -- the company for which I've worked since 2004 attracts the. most. talented. people. ever!) ... but they made me a true fan of what they describe as category-defying music that "dabbles in a nostalgia that combines jazz, blues, country, folk, doo-wop and rock ... to best serve the story of a song" when I got to see them live last March.  Check them out ... and let their music inspire you ...

SCRIBBLING OF THOUGHTS, on CHICAGO NOW:
http://www.chicagonow.com/scribbling-of-thoughts

JENNY DRAGON, in their own words:
http://www.jennydragon.com/

WAIT A MINUTE, TIMBUKTU IS UNDER ATTACK?:
http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-202_162-57566059/french-mali-forces-head-toward-timbuktu/

Random Soapbox for Saturday 1/26/13

I don't mean to go off on a rant here, but ...

I will anyway.

[And I'll do it in a way I haven't done since October 2011.  Here is my seventh entry in the series:  Super-short sTROYies ...]

DRAMA AT THE DENNY's 
or
THIS CUSTOMER IS ALWAYS RIGHT

(c):  I'd like the Sausage Super Slam, but can you make it a Bacon one instead?

waitress:  No, I'm sorry but the manager won't allow any substitutions.  He's kind of a jerk.

me:  Well, then I'd like to buy the side of bacon for .99, and if you'll swap it for the sausage when the food arrives, and then take those sausages and throw them at your boss and tell them that we win, I'll add extra dollar to your tip.

waitress:  I'm in!

[And ... scene.]

[Note:  this manager who will sacrifice customer satisfaction over a dollar is probably also the one who spelled the city in which is Denny's is located as Calument City instead of Calumet City.  Jerk.]

Random Flashback for Friday 1/25/13

These things I know for sure ...

*this is from a party
*this was taken 20 years ago in the winter of 1993
*I was newly 21 so the drinking was legit
*the Jodie Foster looking girl was someone with whom I worked at the Fright Farms Haunted House that fall
*I caught her by surprise when I took the photo
*CoorsLight was clearly the drink of choice, whether bottle or can (probably because of the price)

This is what I think I know ...

*I'm pretty sure her name was Cyndi
*I'm pretty sure the tupperware she's digging around in had product in it that also involved alcohol (a slushie maybe? frozen alcohol soaked fruit?)
*I'm pretty sure that this is not my Uniontown apartment as I first thought, but is probably someone's college living house at WVU in nearby Morgantown WV (where we used to go to party during those months, so long as the weather made it safe enough to drive down around the horrific turn on rt. 857 near the state line as, twenty years ago, the Mon-Fayette expressway did not extend all that way)

This is what I wish ...

*that I could go back there again (did I mention I'm 25 days sober today -- not by choice, just by happenstance)

Random Thought for Thursday 1/24/13

[I haven't done this in awhile (launch a new occasional series) ... but here's the first in what I'm calling "The Superlative News".]

BAD NEWS -- (well, for me anyway):  the boy who lives downstairs has gotten himself a lady friend.

WORSE NEWS -- (now you'll see why it's bad news for me):  since the walls, floors and ceilings are so thin in this old city apartment, he thought it best to blast his stereo while they were having relations (which is how I know he has a lady friend, as he would have needed to adjust the "blast" a few more ticks if his intent was really to mask the sounds).

WORST NEWS -- (well, for her anyway):  the carnal coupling only lasted the length of two songs.

And this has been ... another edition of The Superlative News -- good night, better luck and best wishes!

AH ... FUN WITH COMPARATIVES AND SUPERLATIVES:
http://www.easyenglish.com/lesson.asp?best.txt

UM ... TAKE A LOOK AT # 20:
http://www.usatoday.com/story/life/music/2012/10/24/spotify-music-to-have-sex-to/1652773/

OH ... SOMEONE ELSE HAS DEALT WITH THIS AND BLOGGED ABOUT IT:
http://aaroncsimon.com/2011/11/29/so-you-can-hear-your-neighbor-having-sex/

Random Wordplay for Wednesday 1/23/13

Food Oasis.

Used in a sentence:  "Having learned from last year's election cycle that corporations are people too, I say three cheers for the Walgreens, boldly responding to the food desert crisis by establishing more than one food oasis in the city in their ubiquitous stores."

Look -- this is a hard concept for me to relate to as I grew up in a small town where stores fought over us as customers -- and Weis and Giant (and for a few years, Festival) were viable choices, all within driving distance (or even ambling distance for that matter), and all providing the fresh foods to which so many simply do not have access, as I've come to learn.  Even here in my 'hood in Chitown, I can easily walk to three Jewels, a Whole Foods, a SuperTarget and a Walmart Express (not to mention being able to quickly drive to Strack and Van Til or -- the one that currently has most-favored-grocer status,  Mariano's -- or, only in a pinch when I'm prepared to deal with bad service from folks who really don't want to be working, one of a few Dominick's).

But the numbers tell a different story for others -- an estimated 384,000 Chicagoans don't have such flexibility -- and 124,000 of them are kids.  I posted just yesterday how grateful I was to be comfortably cuddled and coddled in my humble abode as the weather outside explored the mathematical world of "fahrenheitical"  negatives -- and here is another statistical smack in the face to remind me that I'm living like a king surrounded by fresh food choices that are denied to so many (and it's just enough of a smack to guilt me into adding a few more fruits and vegetables to my diet).

So Walgreen's -- mad respect, yo!  Keep up the good work, corporate buddy!

THE SOURCE OF THE MAP ABOVE:
http://www.yogagardens.org/demographics/food-desert

WALGREEN'S RESPONSE:
http://www.chaindrugreview.com/inside-this-issue/news/10-26-2009/walgreens-provides-a-food-oasis

NOT JUST AN URBAN PROBLEM ... FIND FOOD DESERTS ACROSS THE USA:
http://www.ers.usda.gov/data-products/food-desert-locator/go-to-the-locator.aspx

Random Tune for Tuesday 1/22/13

And now the last in the 2012 version of the Dead Celebrity Tune Trilogy, honoring those who have passed in the year that just ended (for the record, 2012's edition also included Whitney Houston and Robert B Sherman).

One of the problems with getting older is that I recognize more and more names on those morbid lists that get published in late December, so I have too many from which to choose -- but I'll reach back to a talent who passed early in 2012, and provide a tune from Etta J that is not her biggest hit -- but one that still "smokes" all the same.

And a twist -- the link is to Adele's cover, a worthy modern take sung in Etta's honor for sure.

IF ONLY FOR RHYMING COQUETTE WITH CIGARETTE ... FOOL THAT I AM:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cjhycVMeaQw

Random Memorial for Monday 1/21/13

Gone but not forgotten:  workplace civility.

Well, civility in general, I guess ... but the article that caught my eye specifically referenced the workplace.  And I should start with a disclaimer, I'm not talking about my workplace or your workplace but the average workplace (unless the work shoe fits, and then, well, you know the rest).  After all, it couldn't possibly be my workplace, as I work from home, which means I'd have to be uncivil to myself (or the cats would have to be uncivil towards me, which isn't necessarily a concept that's too far out there).

Where was I?  Oh right ... trouble in the workplace, as defined in the article below as "a form of organizational deviance ... characterized by low-intensity behaviors that violate respectful workplace norms, appearing vague as to intent to harm". Or ...

...co-workers who say please and thank you and who are respectful to you and your office mates (again -- this is NOT representative of my work situation and NOT just because we have today off and NOT just because I work from home), you are missed by many (according to surveys).

THE ARTICLE THAT CAUGHT MY EYE:
http://usatoday30.usatoday.com/news/health/wellness/story/2011/08/Incivility-a-growing-problem-at-work-psychologists-say/49854130/1

2012 VERSION OF THE SURVEY (WRIT LARGE, NOT JUST LIMITED TO WORKPLACE:
http://www.webershandwick.com/civility/

ACTION STEPS -- 4 WAYS TO STOP IT IN YOUR WORKPLACE:
http://www.humanresourcesiq.com/talent-management/articles/workplace-incivility-on-the-rise-four-ways-to-stop/

Random Scandal Sheet for Sunday 1/20/13

What Chicago is talking about this week:

Finally!

If it were Tuesday, I'd throw up a link to a little CeCe Peniston (and I just might do it anyway, to show how dangerously unpredictable I am -- well, "dangerously unpredictable" is a relative term, I guess) ... but the point is that that exclamation works for Chicagoans about any number of topics:  political, presidential, sports or personal.  (Sorry, fans of alliteration, I just couldn't find a suitable "p" word for sports on this list ...)

Political FINALLY -- the Senate Democrats say that we'll finally have a passed budget by the March 1 deadline, which is something that hasn't happened except for four other times in the last 30 years (1977, 1989, 1995 and 1997).

Presidential FINALLY -- with the inauguration festivities underway, the President can finally focus on the most important decision of the second term:  the details about the presidential library (which best be in Chicago, right, and not Hawaii?).

Sports FINALLY -- so Lance finally said something, but from a Chicago perspective, it's that the town finally has a major sports team around which we can rally -- the Blackhawks.  The Bears have no post-season, the baseball teams have been playing like it's something they do on the side and not as a career, and the Bulls have a bunch of D Rose's friends covering for him while waiting for his return.

Personal FINALLY -- the invalid in my care has finally started to eat on his own volition, which means we've turned a corner in the recovery, and all will be back to normal soon enough.  Woo-hoo!

FINALLY -- A BUDGET!:
http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/wonkblog/wp/2013/01/20/senate-democrats-promise-to-pass-a-budget-why-is-this-a-big-deal/

FINALLY -- AN ABILITY TO FOCUS ON THE PRES LIBRARY!:
http://www.bizjournals.com/chicago/news/2012/12/26/where-barack-obama-presidential-library.html

FINALLY -- A SPORTS TEAM AROUND WHICH WE CAN RALLY!:
http://espn.go.com/blog/chicago/blackhawks/post/_/id/4671852/nhl-returns-with-strong-tv-ratings

FINALLY -- A REMIX!:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OvNAo2tPCBo

Random Soapbox for Saturday 1/19/13

I don't mean to go off on a rave here, but ...

... the Wayans family is a national treasure.

[And really quick -- today's a rave and not a rant, because I decided to carry forth the tradition I started last year with this set of posts, being certain to rave at least once a month, just because I think it will slow down my inevitable evolution into an angry old man.]

I reached this epiphany whilst watching the recent TVGuide where-are-they-now special on In Living Color (we're halfway through the 20th anniversary of their '90-'94 run).  Being a TV addict (more so than a mega-movie-goer), I'm naturally more drawn to the Damon branch, as I'm most familiar with My Wife and Kids and 413 Hope St and the Underground and, keeping it current, Happy Endings.  (P.S. -- if you missed 413 Hope St, you missed a peek inside the humanity that powers the humor in this group ...)

I could go on and on about the things I like about them (this is a rave after all -- not the glow-sticky drug-and-dance-all-night-in-a-warehouse variety, but more like a series of increasingly emphatic exhortations filled with superlatives) ... like their ultra-quick-wittedness (just as enjoyable as their packaged creative output is watching them in any interview reacting off the cuff) ... or their loyalty in choosing those with whom they work (it's not nepotism when every single family member has that kind of talent, but I'm mostly referring to their recurring cast of non-family members that populate project after project) ... or their closeness as a family (they always talk about sleeping together -- not incestuously, but in the style of Willy Wonka everybody-in-one-bed).

This week brought us the latest iteration, as Second Generation Wayans launched on BET.  The bar is raised high, Damien D and Craig (and look -- there's George O Gore II, proving my earlier point about loyalty) ... here's hoping you represent this national treasure well!

THAT WHICH I WATCHED WHEN I HAD THIS EPIPHANY:
http://www.tvguide.com/News/In-Living-Color-1057025.aspx

THAT WHICH I'LL BE WATCHING TO SEE THE LATEST GENERATION:
http://www.bet.com/shows/second-generation-wayans.html

THAT WHICH I FOUND ON THE INTERNET TO HELP ME KEEP THEM ALL STRAIGHT:
http://moviesblog.mtv.com/2009/05/21/keep-your-wayans-straight-with-this-wayans-family-tree/

Random Flashback for Friday 1/18/13

Holly, Hemlock and Mistletoe.

By all accounts, this is the very first of my mysterious murder quests (an audience participation series of full length plays that I started in 1993 when I split from my cousin's theater company and that I continued for a good bit of the 90's).

The place -- the Linden Hall mansion in Dawson PA (outside of Perryopolis, which was itself outside of Uniontown, which is where I was twenty years ago on a break from my undergrad studies at LVC to do some "theatre").

The people -- the super talented Darren L, Jacquelyn J and Greg B (from left to right), plus a fifth person who was not photographed as she was probably taking the photo.  By the time I was done, I had written nearly a dozen of these (most of them all taking place in the same town with characters that popped up throughout the series -- well, if they weren't one of the ones that was murdered, obviously) and performed them all over the place for all kinds of audiences.

But it all started here, in a beautiful mansion decorated for the holidays with these beautiful people.

Twenty years ago.

Random Thought for Thursday 1/17/13

Hey -- I saw you looking at me and judging me today when I went to the bank and the grocery store and the post office comfortably attired in my lounge pants.

Look -- I work from home and this is my "uniform" and I was running errands on a break, and, most importantly, I was comfortable -- so there.

And lest you lump me in with those folks who wear pajamas in public, my lounge pants have pockets -- which is clearly a sartorial sign that they are not PJs (since you don't need stuff in your pockets when you snooze), so I don't belong in that classification.  (Besides, I sleep au naturale, so "wearing my pajamas in public" would take on a whole new misdemeanor of a meaning.)

For you geriatric folks who are proud of the fact that you used to dress up when you flew, sorry but my generation brought everyone comfort at all costs (or no costs, really, 'cause it's such a slacker choice of clothing, I admit).  Try it -- you might like it.  [Unless you're really geriatric, and then everyone will just assume you snuck away from the home, so there's an age limit to my suggestion ...]

IN LOUISIANA, THEY WANT TO BAN PJs IN PUBLIC:
http://www.nola.com/fashion/index.ssf/2012/01/the_unsightly_trend_of_wearing.html

IT's A TOPIC IN CHITOWN AS WELL:
http://www.yelp.com/topic/chicago-lounge-pants-in-public

OH WHEN WE WERE YOUNG AND FLIGHT WAS NEW ...:
http://articles.cnn.com/2012-05-25/travel/travel_nostalgia-travel_1_attendants-air-travel-airline-travel?_s=PM:TRAVEL

Random Wordplay for Wednesday 1/16/13

Supercilious Fraud Office.

Used in a sentence:  "I don't know why it tickled me so, but once I saw that Britain has a 'Serious Fraud Office', I immediately began to hope and pray that they also have a 'Supercilious Fraud Office'".

And since people of my generation are supposed to switch careers a few times in our lifetimes, I think I have a new vocational aspiration.  I'm drawn to it because I imagine that every day in the Supercilious Fraud Office plays out  like a Monty Python sketch, populated with assorted characters from those crazy half hour Britcoms on late night PBS -- Mrs Bucket (/boo-kay'/) and Mrs. Slocombe (and Mrs. Slocombe's pussy), and Rene Artois from 'Allo 'Allo (now there's a show I probably haven't seen for almost twenty years ...)

So I guess that's just something else to add to my list of things I'd like to write but haven't yet written ... for some time in the future before the future gives out on us ... and assuming that, as an Ami, I can capture British humor (maybe I can reach back into the collective consciousnesses of my mother's distant relatives,  as we're pretty sure that's where that side of the family originated).  Supercilious Fraud Office, here I come!

LISTEN VERY CAREFULLY, I SHALL SAY THIS ONLY ONCE:
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Series/AlloAllo

SURELY IF THERE IS THIS, THERE HAS TO BE THE OTHER, RIGHT?:
http://www.sfo.gov.uk/

THIS IS WHAT CAME UP WHEN I GOOGLE SEARCHED TODAY'S WORDPLAY:
http://www.examiner.com/article/smirking-shouting-supercilious-vice-president

Random Tune(s) for Tuesday 1/15/13

Tonight, I'm midway through my annual "dead celebrity tune trilogy", a tradition in three parts where I randomly choose songs from someone we lost in the year that just ended.

[Note:  it's not my job to pass judgment, as we all know that there were interesting and odd choices there toward the end for she whom I've chosen for tonight, so let's focus on the talent that was indisputable ... ]

[Also note:  we're doubling up the tripleness, as tonight, we'll have three songs from this one celebrity, the reason for which will become evident in just a moment ...]

So read/hear this in the voice of a late night radio DJ:  "... these go out to that scared little boy in the hospital tonight who has always been a big fan of Cissy's daughter, with a song from each decade being sent his way accompanied by most happy thoughts to get through the hard parts, best wishes for a speedy recovery once they have passed and constant reminders that we'll all be right here waiting for when he makes it back home."

80's -->  MOST HAPPY THOUGHTS TO GET THROUGH THE HARD PARTS:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uEQ4yAFiJkY

00's -->  BEST WISHES FOR A SPEEDY RECOVERY:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LLE4w0uA8nY

90's -->  WE'LL ALL BE RIGHT HERE WAITING WHEN YOU COME HOME:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LLE4w0uA8nY

Random Memorial for Monday 1/14/13

Gone but not forgotten:  NOT getting my Alan Ball fix.

So I think this is kind of like my blog post's version of a double negative in that I'm missing the fact that I am no longer missing something, but, assuming I don't run afoul of any lapses in literary logic ... let me just say that I will follow Alan Ball anywhere.

[Almost anywhere -- I mean NOT to a compound in Africa that serves KoolAid ... should he ever go that route ...]

Thanks to a cable package that includes HBO's sister channel Cinemax, and an idea that hooked me in that the action takes place in the fictional town of Banshee PA (and the pilot included this picture, which means that it is "fictionally" somewhere around Hershey/Hummelstown and in in my hometown neck'o'the'woods) ... I am eagerly awaiting each hour for each of the next ten Friday nights (or any of the other nights it is on in repeats -- it's not too late for you all to catch up and find and watch the pilot).

Every episode of quality entertainment from master allegorist Alan Ball, you will not be missed (by me and mine, anyway)!

A BANSHEE PRIMER:
http://insidetv.ew.com/2013/01/11/six-things-to-know-about-cinemaxs-banchee-2/

SADLY, IT'S NOT FILMED IN MY HOMETOWN NECK'O'THE'WOODS:
http://insidetv.ew.com/2013/01/11/six-things-to-know-about-cinemaxs-banchee-2/

ALAN BALL MADE MY END OF THE WORLD COUNTDOWN:
http://capcognition.blogspot.com/2012/10/bonus-post-thing-60.html

Random Scandal Sheet for Sunday 1/13/13

What Chicago is talking about this week:

The poor guy in this picture (named Urooj).  Correction -- the rich guy in the picture.  Correction to the correction -- since the guy in this picture is dead and is now having his body exhumed as an anonymous tip was provided that he was cyanide-poisoned, characterizing him as poor or rich seems irrelevant.

Correction to the correction to the correction (I promise I'll stop after making this last point) -- the status of "poor" or "rich" is actually extremely relevant, as he scratched off a million dollar winning lottery ticket and then died the day after claiming his winnings.  Now, in addition to the survivors fighting over the estate, all kinds of skeletons are jumping out of closets in such a way as to set this up for a 2 hour "news" special a la Dateline or 48 hours or their ilk, assuming that truth will one day be known.

Despite the risk, I'm pleased to announce that I've started my 2013 FB birthday project.  [Those of you who have known me for awhile know that I strive to do something original each year within that social network -- in 2011, it was searching the youtube for random birthday videos that mentioned the birthday person's name and in 2012, it was donating $1 per publicly listed birthday to a charity of the month.]  This year, I'm purchasing a one dollar scratch off ticket per person and scratching it off to check for winnings.  And by the way -- there are some caveats if there are winnings.

First, I'm claiming a 50% finders' fee (after all, I am doing the hard work of the scratching).
Second, those with winnings must "claim" them via FB message by 1.31.14.
Third, I'm donating any unclaimed funds to a charity of my choice on 2.1.14.
Fourth, if my finders' fee ever totals an amount of substance, the first thing I'll buy with my winnings is an old-fashioned taster, being determined to learn Urooj's lesson.

IT'S EVEN IN THE NEWS OVERSEES:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2259709/Urooj-Khan-death-Brother-wife-murdered-lottery-winner-squabbled-winnings-dead-cyanide-poisoning.html

THE BODY IS ON ITS WAY UP:
http://articles.chicagotribune.com/2013-01-11/news/chi-judge-oks-exhumation-of-lottery-winner-20130111_1_exhumation-zaman-police-investigation

THE LIST OF RULES (AND WINNERS):
http://capcognition.blogspot.com/2013/01/2013-birthday-celebration.html

2013 Birthday Celebration

Again, Happy Birthday!  And congratulations on being a winner!

So here are the rules ... 

I'm taking a 50% finders' fee (after all, I did do the hard work of scratching off the ticket in your name).

Just private message me on FB with your mailing address and I'll send you your 50%.

Funds must be claimed by 1.31.14, as I'll be donating any unclaimed funds to a charity of my choice on 2.1.14.

And here are the winners so far ...

1.9.13    $1.00/$.50    for Sonia G (DONATED)
1.26.13  $4.00/$2.00 for Chris B (NOTIFIED)
1.31.13  $5.00/$2.50 for Rolee K (NOTIFIED)
2.2.13    $1.00/$.50 for Butch D (DONATED)
2.2.13    $1.00/$.50 for Maria P (DONATED)
2.6.13    $1.00/$.50 for Sharlene C (DONATED)
2.10.13  $1.00/$.50 for Scott R (NOTIFIED)
2.15.13  $2.00/$1.00 for Kevin B (NOTIFIED)
2.16.13  $2.00/$1.00 for Irma M (NOTIFIED)
2.17.13  $2.00/$1.00 for Heather SW (DONATED)

2.19.13 $1.00/$.50 for Joe S (NOTIFED)
2.21.13 $2.00/$1.00 for Josh B (NOTIFIED)
2.23.13 $2.00/$1.00 for Sean H (NOTIFED)
2.23.13 $4.00/$2.00 for Bruce K (NOTIFED)
2.26.13 $1.00/$.50 for Cat J (NOTIFIED)
3.1.13   $5.00/$2.50 for Cornell W (NOTIFIED)
3.3.13  $2.00/$1.00 for Lissa S (DONATED)
3.23.13 $1.00/$.50 for John S (DONATED)
3.23.13 $1.00/$.50 for Sally P (DONATED)
3.27.13 $2.00/$1.00 for Dan B (NOTIFIED)

3.30.13 $1.00/$.50 for Erin M (NOTIFIED)
4.6.13   $10.00/$5.00 for Tricia H (REINVESTED/LOSING TICKET)
4.11.13 $1.00/$.50 for Cherlyn A (NOTIFIED)
4.11.13 $1.00/$.50 for Sheri F (NOTIFIED)
4.20.13 $2.00/$1.00 for Simona P (NOTIFIED)
4.23.13 $2.00/$1.00 for Wayne K (DONATED)
4.28.13 $1.00/$.50 for Amber R (NOTIFIED)
4.29.13 $10.00/$5.00 for Rachel GP (NOTIFIED)
5.1.13  $4.00/$2.00 for Jill M (NOTIFIED)
5.15.13 $2.00/$1.00 for Samuel G (DONATED)

5.23.13  $2.00/$1.00 for Tracey F (NOTIFIED)
5.26.13  $2.00/$1.00 for Jennifer D (NOTIFIED)
5.26.13  $1.00/$.50 for Melanie W (NOTIFIED)
5.28.13  $1.00/$.50 for Tim W (NOTIFIED)
6.1.13    $6.00/$3.00 for Natalie M (REINVESTED/LOSING TICKET)
6.4.13    $1.00/$.50 for Igor M (DONATED)
6.4.13    $2.00/$1.00 for Beth A (DONATED)
6.5.13    $1.00/$.50 for Michelle L (NOTIFIED)
6.14.13  $10.00/$5.00 for Tracey HT (DONATED)
6.15.13  $1.00/$.50 for Lisa DG (NOTIFIED)

6.19.13  $2.00/$1.00 for Carol Lynn F (NOTIFIED)
6.30.13  $2.00/$1.00 for Greg S (NOTIFIED)
7.2.13    $1.00/$.50 for Byron B (DONATED)
7.6.13    $1.00/$.50 for Zach B (NOTIFIED)
7.11.13  $1.00/$.50 for Mary Ann S (NOTIFIED)
7.15.13  $4.00/$2.00 for Bradley H (NOTIFIED)
7.15.13  $2.00/$1.00 for Brandon J (NOTIFIED)
7.16.13  $2.00/$1.00 for Gina A (CLAIMED)
7.25.13  $2.00/$1.00 for John H (NOTIFIED)
8.1.13    $2.00/$1.00 for Judy W (DONATED)

8.1.13    $20.00/$10.00 for Brian W (DONATED)
8.8.13    $1.00/$.50 for Carrie W (NOTIFIED)
8.12.13  $2.00/$1.00 for Dennis H (DONATED)
8.15.13  $1.00/$.50 for Rob P (NOTIFIED)
8.17.13  $2.00/$1.00 for John C (NOTIFIED)
8.18.13  $4.00/$2.00 for Teresa H (DONATED)
8.21.13  $2.00/$1.00 for John E (NOTIFIED)
8.22.13  $2.00/$1.00 for Thomas W (NOTIFIED)
8.22.13  $1.00/$.50 for Kim R (DONATED)
9.5.13    $1.00/$.50 for Alexandra J (DONATED)

9.7.13    $1.00/$.50 for Andrew M (NOTIFIED)
9.11.13  $4.00/$2.00 for Debbie D (NOTIFIED)
9.12.13  $2.00/$1.00 for Darryn D (DONATED)
9.13.13  $2.00/$1.00 for Michelle E (NOTIFIED)
914.13   $2.00/$1.00 for Sarah C (NOTIFIED)
9.22.13  $2.00/$1.00 for Todd S (NOTIFIED)
9.26.13  $4.00/$2.00 for Leslie M (NOTIFIED)
9.26.13  $2.00/$1.00 for Lois K (NOTIFIED)
9.27.13  $1.00/$.50 for Kimberly E (NOTIFIED)
10.6.13  $1.00/$.50 for Cathy CK (NOTIFIED)

10.9.13   $2.00/$1.00 for Tracy Lynn WH (NOTIFIED)
10.16.13 $1.00/$.50 for Matt G (NOTIFIED)
10.16.13 $5.00/$2.50 for Dawn S (NOTIFIED)
10.23.13 $4.00/$2.00 for Malwina K (DONATED)
10.24.13 $10.00/$5.00 for Shannon F (NOTIFIED)
11.1.13   $1.00/$.50 for Shomari B (NOTIFIED)
11.3.13   $2.00/$1.00 for Todd C (DONATED)
11.3.13   $1.00/$.50 for Kevin P (NOTIFIED)
11.12.13 $4.00/$2.00 for Mita G (DONATED)
11.13.13 $10.00/$5.00 for Phylis CD (DONATED)

11.16.13 $2.00/$1.00 for John H (DONATED)
11.16.13 $1.00/$.50 for Chris A (NOTIFIED)
11.17.13 $2.00/$1.00 for MelissaAnn P (NOTIFIED)
11.20.13 $2.00/$1.00 for Jill W (DONATED)
11.23.13 $2.00/$1.00 for Mike K (NOTIFIED)
11.24.13 $25.00/$12.50 for Jim I (NOTIFIED) [*Biggest winner to date!]
11.26.13 $5.00/$2.50 for Will G (NOTIFIED)
11.30.13 $5.00/$2.50 for Jon M (REINVESTED/LOSING TICKET)
12.1.13   $2.00/$1.00 for Don D (DONATED)
12.2.13   $2.00/$1.00 for Heath L (NOTIFIED)

12.3.13   $10.00/$5.00 for Nicole K (NOTIFIED)
12.7.13   $1.00/$.50 for Jon W (NOTIFIED)
12.7.13   $1.00/$.50 for Andrew P (DONATED)
12.7.13   $1.00/$.50 for Dianne L (DONATED)
12.9.13   $2.00/$1.00 for Alex N (NOTIFIED)
12.11.13 $2.00/$1.00 for Ann RH (NOTIFIED)
12.15.13 $1.00/$.50 for Chad RM (NOTIFIED)
12.18.13 $2.00/$1.00 for Jeff P (NOTIFIED)
12.27.13 $2.00/$1.00 for Danielle K (DONATED)
12.28.13 $2.00/$1.00 for Bonnie B (NOTIFIED)

12.28.13 $1.00/$.50 for Holly M (NOTIFIED)
12.30.13 $2.00/$1.00 for Kathy KL (NOTIFIED)

Random Soapbox for Saturday 1/12/13

I don't mean to go off on a rant here, but ...

... it's time for me to dust off my "boycott" list and add a vendor to it.

Let me back up a bit.  Since my father passed earlier this month, I'm getting new perspective on a few things.  For instance, there's a new nagging voice in the back of my head that keeps on suggesting I improve my health. I guess, generationally, once your papa passes, you kind of move up in the queue.  And, in another area where I'm seeing clarity, it's time for me to fully embrace my curmudgeonly side -- you know, to carry on the family name when it comes to being an "angry old man".

By the way, my boycotts are micro and very local in scale.  So far there's that Subway near Clark and Belmont that impolitely rushed my selection of cheese for my sandwich a few years back (oh yeah, I neither forgive nor forget some grievances) ... and the 7-11 next to Wrigley whose security guard with the gangland tattoos was a little too aggressive the day I parked there and made a purchase and walked too slowly to the car to leave (someone else in my party was at the Starbucks next door, and we were leaving together, despite the guard's overtures that I must leave immediately).  I've even been known to boycott actual people who were in my life -- but only after first checking to make sure that they are truly as soulless as I came to learn they were (that's soulless as in "without a soul" not soleless as in "needing shoes", as everyone in this climate needs shoes!).

So ... added to the list ... the WellsFargo branch in Evanston, where I went earlier this week to wrap up the affairs of my father and to close his account.  At least -- that was my intention.  Instead, I ended up raising my voice to the bank employee named Bukake (and a rant within a rant here -- expecting parents everywhere, can you please make a commitment to using the google search prior to choosing to name your child something exotic sounding and unique on the off chance that the word already has a meaning that might be unbeknownst to you [warning -- if you are unfamiliar, google at your own risk]), as she and I disagreed on what action I could take that day without a death certificate (copies of which are on their way to Chicago, but I wanted to get a head start on paperwork while I still had off work).

I get it that I may have been in the wrong by not bringing everything I needed to the bank with me, and I probably should not have yelled about the bank standing on form (which they SHOULD have done when they were busy playing a role in hastening the onset of the Great Recession, in my opinion) instead of finding a way to work with me to reach a service resolution (after all, I opened it with him in absentia).  And the outburst I exclaimed in my best actorly projected voice about the shame that everyone in the building should feel about how they were all so desperately hanging on to my dead father's last eight cents may have been a little over the top and slightly dramatic (hey -- this process is stressful, and Wells Fargo employee named Bukake, you didn't really show any sensitivity to my situation ...).

Ultimately, here's the reason you're going on my boycott list ... you handled this situation from a place of "no", and, quite simply, that's not the right way to go about dealing with someone as mildly unsettled as I am. Wells Fargo Evanston -- you are on my list!

I AM NOT ALONE IN MY DISSATISFACTION:
http://www.my3cents.com/showReview.cgi?id=82063

NO REALLY -- I AM NOT ALONE:
http://www.ripoffreport.com/wells-fargo-bank/banks/portland-oregon-7ab71.htm

UMMM ... THIS IS ITS OWN COTTAGE INDUSTRY!:
http://wellsfargowarning.com/

Random Flashback for Friday 1/11/13

Let's just call this ... the morning after.

Last week, I kicked off the year 1993 (Fridays for me are always Fridays of twenty years ago), with a pic of the party the night before on New Year's Eve at my apartment in Uniontown PA.

And, thanks to my OCD like anal retentiveness when it comes to the hoarding of information, I located my "notes" from this celebration:

1993 -- Kevin's Bar in Republic PA with Gina T, Terry S, Steve K, Tammy C and Kevin's mother.

"visited a speakeasy in the 'patch'; played pool and won on the one arm bandit; spent evening with Gina; champagne bottle passed around at midnight; soap opera of Terry on balcony crying; Italian mafia family that ran bar very loving; took beer and party to apartment; spent evening on the couch and the morning at Elby's for bacon and OJ"

So clearly my love for bacon started early ... and ... oh to be young again ...

Random Thought for Thursday 1/10/13

Science was never my strong suit, but I do think I have a basic understanding of the way that evolution helps a species adapt.

Upon learning that HoneyBooBoo's sister's newborn had an extra thumb, my first thought was that biology is catching up with Generation Text and that she represents the cutting edge of the evolutionary process, with the biological body adapting to our modern "needs".

It happened to moles (see story below), so it could happen to us, right?  Just imagine how fast the next generation of kids will be able to text!  Science is at work all around us!!

IT'S THAT GENERATION ...:
http://jobs.aol.com/articles/2012/04/25/get-ready-for-generation-z-theyre-texting-tweeting-and-not-tu/

... AS REPRESENTED BY THIS BIRTH ...:
http://www.yourtv.com.au/blog.aspx?blogentryid=1050140&showcomments=true

... AND IT'S HAPPENED FOR OTHER SPECIES ALREADY!:
http://www.livescience.com/15090-twelve-fingered-mole-wrist-bone.html

Random Wordplay for Wednesday 1/9/13

I can do many things, but I cannot plumb!

Used in a sentence:  "The notion that I am calm, cool and collected in a crisis went out the window today (or ... maybe better yet ... down the drain ...eventually), when I awoke to a clogged toilet, and, with all of the stress of the past week bubbling up inside me, I exclaimed 'I can do many things, but I cannot plumb!'"

[That is what plumbers do, right ... plumb?]

After a mini meltdown and a few deep breaths, I came to realize that, as with so many things in life, it's all about having the right tool for the right job.  A quick run to the local hardware store, and I am now the owner of a "korky" plunger (pictured on the left), which works so much better than that ineffectual plunger-wannabe that I had tried to use to no avail (looking all sad there on the right).

So ... a happy ending for me and mine ... an oddly effectual stress release just for me ... and the best part -- now I can update my resume to reflect that I can plumb after all.

I CONCUR ... A MORE POWERFUL PLUNGE:
http://www.korky.com/Plunger93-8.html

OTHER WAYS TO ASPIRE TOWARD CALM COOL AND COLLECTED:
http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/how-to-be-calm-cool-and-collected-in-3-easy-steps

OTHERS EXPERIENCE THE PLUNGER AS A METAPHOR FOR LIFE:
http://www.noomii.com/articles/1930-hope-found-in-a-wooden-handled-plunger

Random Tune for Tuesday 1/8/13

I've been doing this for awhile.

How do I know?  ... Because it's time to start my FOURTH annual "dead celebrity tune trilogy".  Since the end of 09, I've dedicated three Tuesday posts in a row to those who passed in the year before (with the definition of celebrity stretched via artistic license as needed).

So for the first in the 2012 trilogy, there's this compilation of sad cartoon images that I found on the old youtube in honor of Disney songwriter Robert B Sherman (who brought us many classic songs -- including some from ChittyChittyBangBang, Mary Poppins, Bedknobs and Broomsticks, etc.).  Robert passed in March 2012, and, at that time, it was mentioned in most places that he also brought us "It's a Small World After All".

I dare not link to that song -- and not because I fear the Disney copyright police.  It's just that I had the misfortune of getting stuck on that ride when I visited my good friend Holly in Orlando in November 1996, and although I don't begrudge Mr. Sherman the genius of the song, repeated play of a repetitive tune in the company of animatronic figures from whom you can't escape created a different uniquely uncomfortable feeling of a memory that I wish not to recall (any more than I just did to type it out for this post).  Coincidentally enough, that memory of visiting Florida is somewhat ironic for today, as I just had to pull the trigger and completely cancel the week's vacation I was to have started tomorrow (hey -- we survived the apocalypse, so Florida will still be there next month when the timing is better [fingers-crossed]).

Which brings me back to this song, as I've been in a more reflective somber mood since my father's passing this past weekend, making images of cartoon characters crying decidedly appropo ...

RIP ROBERT B SHERMAN (1925-2012):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JK7FkWgBGTI

Purposeful Memorial for Monday 1/7/13

Gone but not forgotten:  Ralph E Neidermyer Sr. (that's him in the photo joining me in an afternoon nap in the first year of my existence -- 1972).

This just seems like a natural fit with my daily-posting-schedule construct, so why not.  And, since it is looking less and less likely that I'll be returning to PA for the service (it's still at an unknown time due to a paperwork snafu, and I have a mostly prepaid vacation that was to have started Wednesday with vendors not being as flexible as I would need them to be), here's my submission for a eulogy:

Ralph was born in the summer of 1923 on Tuesday July 24th to Paul and Esther in Lancaster County.  He was apparently named after his father's brother, which may (or may not) be the reason that he got the nickname "Buddy" when it came to his family.  His father Paul had served in the "other war", as his wife (my grandmother) had called it in her scrapbook, and, with his six other brothers and sisters (two of whom now outlive him), they all survived the Great Depression and, as was customary at the time, Ralph did not finish school and he joined the military and served in the US Army Air Corp when the next big war came around.

He started a family (his first of many) after World War II, and, with a wife named Betty (who passed a few years ago), he had his first set of kids -- a Carol Ann, a Ralph Eugene Jr (we call him Gene), a Glenn and a Clyde (named after someone in Betty's family, which may, or may not, be the reason that he got the nickname "Titus" when it came to all of us).  In my 41 years, I've met them each at least once, and at least one of them many many times, and it is for this reason that I'm able to say that I was already an Uncle at birth, but I simply don't know all of the details of all of their lives.  Thanks to Facebook, I've actually reconnected with a few of their kids (the next generation), and I'm pretty sure now that some of their kids have had kids (the next next generation), which means that Ralph can start to add numbers to the kids, grandkids and great grandkids columns.

That marriage didn't work (note:  this will be a theme), which is sad for them, but good for me, as that allowed a second family to be formed, and soon enough, he was with my mother Mary (who, herself, had been previously married with a child named Bonnie and another one who was literally on the way when her first husband passed -- she would be named Holly) and, together, they had twins (my sisters Sherry and Sharon) and then they decided that they were done with kids (and I'm not saying that having twins had anything at all to do with that decision as I'm sure it's just a coincidence).  But seventies birth control being what it was, combined with the fact that the genetic ancestral heritage of my father's sperm was of the most stubborn obstinate Prussian stock, I decided to be born irregardless of the pesky IUD that was supposed to be in my way.

[NOTE:  It is perfectly acceptable for anyone who has stuck with this story up to this point to now pull out a piece of paper and to start to draw a map.  It may be the only way to not get lost on the journey of Ralph's.]

There were allegedly a few good years in the late 60's and early 70's in Bethel, which included annual visits by a Santa Claus who had the same eyes as Ralph, but who entertained the youngsters in the family in the remodeled and classically paneled basement where this photo was taken (circa '74), and the installation of a backyard pool (work must have been good at the concrete plant and the poultry processing plants where Ralph worked).  Drinking and dancing and even smoking were the adult entertainment rules of the day -- which, in retrospect, may have also been the reason that ...

... that marriage didn't work.  A judge decided that my mom couldn't possibly handle all five children as a single mother in that decade, and so the family was split, and me and my twin sisters went with my dad while my mother was given custody of her children from her first husband.  But Ralph was not deterred, and he went on to create a third family, courtesy of "Parents without Partners" (a pre-internet dating service if there ever was one)  -- in Elverson, PA with a lady named MaryAnn (who, herself, had been previously married with a child named Kevin and a child named Jimmy).  I don't remember all that much of this time other than I know he built a family room on to her house (which included squirrels running through the walls, as the story goes), and that we had a snowmobile that was driven through the winter woods (maybe to scare those darn squirrels) and that I was a "handful" who didn't do well in the blended family, and who spent time at the next door neighbor's house with a really nice older lady (whom I think we called "Aunt Catherine") and whom had allegedly taken my mother Mary's side of the divorce over that of new wife MaryAnn.  But ... guess what ...

... that marriage didn't work.  And it didn't work very quickly, for reasons I don't know for certain, but which may have been related to the long distance travel to work from Elverson to the heart of poultry processing plants in Fredericksburg or it may have been related to the lady he was wooing in that plant.  I'm just saying that my father's fourth family was jump-started when he found out he was having his last child, named Rhonda (who stole my mantle as baby of the family, not that I'm bitter or anything) with a woman named Paulette (who, herself, had been previously married with a child named Paula and a child named Trisha).  So now it's the 80's and now we're all in Jonestown for a minute, and then in Lebanon for my most formative years.

So, as an adult with the benefit of hindsight, it now kind of all makes sense that, by the time he got to these years, he was in his sixties and was definitely finished with kids and was content to spend most of his time away from all of us at work (and let me be clear, we did not necessarily "want" -- so again, business must have been good at the chicken plant to support this really large blended family) -- and so we didn't really get to know each other as father and son.  But I knew where his bedroom was, and I could hear him laugh at episodes of the Jeffersons and All in the Family as he would drift off to sleep, and I could place him somewhere in the house on the weekends (or outside mowing grass in horribly loud shorts with a papertowel headband that did little to stop his sweat, or in his basement or out back shed workshop entertaining himself with projects).  Those facts aside, we weren't exactly any kind of close, and our upbringing was left to his wife, and she and I didn't see eye to eye as the years went on, so much so that I ran away from home (a few times, but for reals in March of 1989 when I was a senior in high school).  He was home that night -- it was just he and I -- and he saw me carrying my three boxes of belongings across rt 422 as I made my escape, and he came to the front door to ask what I was doing.  I calmly told him "I'm leaving ... and I'll be fine.", which was seemingly "fine" with him.

A few years later ... and, true to form, that marriage didn't work.  Ralph, never one to be single for long, soon was married for a fifth time (I declined the RSVP with the message that I was sorry I couldn't attend, but that I might be able to make the next one).  But, finally, old age had settled in and there was no progeny from this coupling (which, by the way, didn't work).  There was retirement ... and there was a new job at Hersheypark ... and there was a lot more Santa Clausing that went on ... and then there was illness and a nursing home and cancer and a wheelchair and hospice and a passing.

There you have it -- 89 years (presented in about 17 times that number of words).  And what does it tell us about this man?  Ralph loved the ladies, that's for sure.  He came from an era where his obligation was to provide for the physical needs of his offspring, which he did without dispute.  And, if nothing else, I got to help take care of some of his final years stuff, which gave me a new perspective into his life.  It's through that lens that I now wish him peaceful resting, and that I now turn to finding a way to put to rest many of the unanswered questions that I have about the life he led, for he did so much in so many years and seemed so happy during and doing most of it.  And that's not necessarily a bad wish for the survivors who might be reading this post.  A long and happy life doing that which you want ... that's my wish for you.

So rest in peace, Ralph, as, for at least as long as this post appears on the interwebs, it is documented that you will be missed.

Random Scandal Sheet for Sunday 1/6/13

What Chicago is talking about this week ...

Take your pick ... some are talking about how it is Christmas Eve (hey Serbs!  hey Ukrainians!  hey other Orthodox folks!) ... in the spirit of equal time, others are talking about the Epiphany and the Magi's visit (or maybe that's the same people celebrating the same thing ... what do I know) ... and those who celebrate at the altar of the puck, are happy to hear that hockey will return in 2013 after all.

Me -- I'm talking about being stuck between my plans for a mostly prepaid vacation that was to have started on Wednesday which has strict cancellation policies requiring a fourteen day cancellation notice and the fact that my father will be interred sometime this week (once a paperwork snafu is resolved) but I may not be able to make it back to PA to be there.

One day at a time folks -- including tomorrow, when Facebook says I have a birthday (not that all of Chicago is talking about that fact, mind you ... just the people important to me!)

MERRY (ORTHODOX) CHRISTMAS EVE!:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-20929439

GO CASPAR!  GO BALTHASAR!  GO MELCHIOR!:
http://www.crossroadsinitiative.com/library_article/846/epiphany_revealed.html

GO BLACKHAWKS!:
http://www.washingtonpost.com/sports/capitals/nhl-lockout-hockey-returns-after-four-month-stalemate/2013/01/06/5b1ff920-5811-11e2-9fa9-5fbdc9530eb9_story.html

Random Soapbox for Saturday 1/5/13

I don't meant to go off on a ... well ... I'm not sure what it is today ... not really a rant and kind of a rave ... but just roll with it ...as I want to be sure to offer up thanks to a number of groups and/or individuals.

Since my posts usually tend toward the lengthy, and since my Saturday posts are almost always among the wordiest, and since I already know that this one is going to go on for a bit, let me first start by stating that the monthly SpangCrest newsletter came in the mail today -- and included was the recognition for my father of bowling prowess (you can see it in the picture) ... who passed away early this morning.

And which gets me to my list of thanks ...

FIRST, and before I type even another character, a special thanks to all those who have expressed your kind words, offered your thoughts and prayers, and reached out individually with your messages upon learning the news of my father's passing.

SECOND, thanks to Mark Zuckerberg for making the Facebook the modern way to draw strength and comfort from those to whom you are related, or with whom you've been connected over a lifetime-to-date.  I know that birthdays can get overwhelming on the FB (that's not a hint that mine is Monday [although it is] - just an observation).  I'm slightly concerned that between this event and the automatic trigger that will remind Facebookers I'm 41 in 41 hours or so, my cell phone is going to explode.

THIRD, thanks to SpangCrest.  Over the years he's been in that nursing home in Lebanon PA , I've picked up on the subtle hints that his caretakers have offered that he is "special" and "spirited" and "stubborn".  I've never had the typical normal relationship with him, but I did come to interact with him in a new more adult way as the person taking care of the paperwork behind his final years, and I can only imagine the challenges with which they dealt.

FOURTH, thanks to the Hospice care program.  Getting him on hospice care was a comfort and a relief to know that he would get special attention when the decision was made that he could not be treated for his spreading cancer due to his advanced health and out of respect for his quality of life.

FIFTH, thanks to each of you who are taxpayers.  I said this facetiously before in one of my posts, but the reality of this situation is that my father did not financially prepare for his final days.  Luckily, the Medicare/Medicaid rules and regulations gave him medical comforts that he could not afford.  I dare not stray into the political here at a time like this ... so suffice it to say that for as many things as are broken with our system, this experience certainly provided something that was essential.

SIXTH, thanks (begrudgingly) to the Nazis.  Hear me out on this ... were it not for Adolf and World War II, it is doubtful that my father would have served during that war.  And by serving in that war, he became eligible to be placed in a private home in a "VA bed", and he is now eligible to be interred at Ft. Indiantown Gap.  These whole last few years might have had a much worse outcome had those 70-year-old decisions not occurred.

SEVENTH, thanks to my sister Sharon.  Sharon is the sibling of mine who is most local, and she bore the brunt of the transitional time, when my father was demonstrating that he could no longer live independently and was having repeated "incidents" that led to the decision to have him placed in the home.

EIGHTH, thanks to my sister Sherry.  She's been with me all the way since I took over responsibility for the details of his final years, and she's stepping up in a big way now to make sure that the details of what's happening in this next week are handled as they need to be.

NINTH, thanks to Paula (officially, she would be my step-sister during a few years in the 80's), who is in the health field and who has kept in touch and "translated" for us so that we could understand the medical machinations in lay people's terms.  Additionally, she's playing a key central role in lining up what will occur at the service next week.

TENTH, thanks (in advance) to Thompson Funeral Home.  They were specifically recommended by the county VA office as a place that really "does veterans right" -- and although we don't have a big production planned, they appear to be very respectful of the unique family situation and very eager to provide a closure that honors Ralph's military service.

ELEVENTH, thanks to Betty, Mary, MaryAnn, Paulette and the-lady-whose-name-I-can't-remember-but-she-was-Rev-Fisher's-first-wife-I-think, as those ladies played the role of wife to my dad over the years.  I've talked before about the nontraditional relationship I had with my father, and it's also no secret that I'm not a fan of every single person on that list (not to mention I never met the first one, and I can't even remember the name of the fifth one), but for years at a time, they were the companion to the man who just passed.  They should be recognized for that.

FINALLY, to end where I started, and on behalf of all those in my family who are now grieving and reflecting and possibly reliving old wounds, and struggling with the balance of happy thought and bad memories ... thanks again to everyone who paused to connect with any of our family today.  There's a power in "community", and I felt that power today wash over me in wave after wave of healing.  As much as I'm a fan of words, they fail me when I try to truly describe that feeling.  But ... thank you.

Random Flashback for Friday 1/4/13

It's a new year!

Obviously, right?  It's 2013.  But that also means, at least on every Friday, it's a new year in my weekly flashbacks (since those are almost always 20 years old ... it's 1993 there)!

And I'm pretty sure that this is actually on New Year's Eve, which I celebrated with Hills co-workers (not from Lebanon Hills, but from Uniontown Hills, since that's where I was living at this time 20 years ago)!

I'm assuming those streamers had fallen at some time during the party, but clearly here we're all a-happy and a-smilin' and all a ringin' in the new year!  Woo-hoo!!

Random Thought for Thursday 1/3/13

So ... clearly in 2012, this guy was everywhere.

But ... ummm ...what with all that gangnam stylin' that Psy's been doin', shouldn't he be skinnier?

[And I'm allowed to comment, because I'm chubbier than I used to be ...so there.]

Just sayin' ...

A BILLION?:
http://www.timeslive.co.za/entertainment/music/2012/12/22/oppan-billion-style-psy-takes-over-youtube

AN  ANTI-AMERICAN?:
http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/worldviews/wp/2012/12/11/controversy-over-psys-anti-american-lyrics-might-be-based-on-shoddy-translation/

BETTER AS OPERA?:
http://www.boston.com/culturedesk/2012/12/26/psy-gangnam-style-done-opera-style/lErPOrCItJLHF8eOX0h46K/story.html

Random Wordplay for Wednesday 1/2/13

Micro-lives.

Used in a sentence:  "If you haven't yet settled on your resolutions for 2013, and if you're needing a way to quantify some of your suggested behavioral changes, this innovative approach to looking at how your actions affect your chance to cheat death (or to advance it, on the flip side) called micro-lives may just be the thing to help you decide."

Here's the way it works -- a micro-life is 30 minutes of your existence, and here's how to get more of them or how to watch them slip away (as per the latest issue of Scientific American):

first 20 minutes of exercise -- add 2 micro-lives
subsequent 40 minutes of exercise -- add 1 micro-life
eat 1.25 servings of fruits and vegetables -- add 1 micro-life
first 10 grams of alcohol -- add 1 micro-life
each drink of alcohol beyond first -- subtract .5 micro-lives
eat 85 grams of red meat -- subtract 1 micro-life
smoke six cigarettes -- subtract 3 micro-lives
sit two hours without activity -- subtract 1 micro-life
be overweight (each day, for each 5 kilograms above the optimum) -- subtract 1 micro-life

What an opportunity to calculate your life slowly ending -- but all in a fun mathy kind of way.  Ummm ... Happy New Year!

THE SOURCE:
http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=how-to-gain-or-lose-30-minutes-of-life-everyday

OR TAKE IT A STEP FURTHER AND INTRODUCE YOURSELF TO MICRO-MORTS:
http://understandinguncertainty.org/microlives

UM .. OR THERE'S THIS APPROACH:
http://mashable.com/2012/12/31/wtf-new-years-resolutions/

Random Tune for Tuesday 1/1/13

What tune can best capture that which I saw when I got up this morning (which, truth be told, was this afternoon)?  I think any of the three below will work.

It appears that drunks of a certain age have difficulty taking their boots off at the end of the evening, and it may have been that I leaned a little too hard on that bookshelf (which is in two pieces to start with), as it fell over and smashed the light against my laptop.  (I could fix everything but the lampshade).

It also may have been that the noise scared the cats, as their bunk bed across the room was knocked over -- my guess from rapidly fleeing the scene of the crash.

And to my neighbors, I apologize for the half hour I spent trying to get my key in the lock in the early hours this morning.  On the off chance that my difficulties stemmed from the fact that I might have been trying to get into your apartment (which would certainly explain why I had such trouble), I'm  even more apologetic.

By the way, if you couldn't tell, I had a great time last night!  Happy 2013!!

HERE's A HINT:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rfjtpp90lu8

AND ANOTHER:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q3zkkLckeyM

OR THIS CLASSIC:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h-KDSxqJ_0o