Since my posts usually tend toward the lengthy, and since my Saturday posts are almost always among the wordiest, and since I already know that this one is going to go on for a bit, let me first start by stating that the monthly SpangCrest newsletter came in the mail today -- and included was the recognition for my father of bowling prowess (you can see it in the picture) ... who passed away early this morning.
And which gets me to my list of thanks ...
FIRST, and before I type even another character, a special thanks to all those who have expressed your kind words, offered your thoughts and prayers, and reached out individually with your messages upon learning the news of my father's passing.
SECOND, thanks to Mark Zuckerberg for making the Facebook the modern way to draw strength and comfort from those to whom you are related, or with whom you've been connected over a lifetime-to-date. I know that birthdays can get overwhelming on the FB (that's not a hint that mine is Monday [although it is] - just an observation). I'm slightly concerned that between this event and the automatic trigger that will remind Facebookers I'm 41 in 41 hours or so, my cell phone is going to explode.
THIRD, thanks to SpangCrest. Over the years he's been in that nursing home in Lebanon PA , I've picked up on the subtle hints that his caretakers have offered that he is "special" and "spirited" and "stubborn". I've never had the typical normal relationship with him, but I did come to interact with him in a new more adult way as the person taking care of the paperwork behind his final years, and I can only imagine the challenges with which they dealt.
FOURTH, thanks to the Hospice care program. Getting him on hospice care was a comfort and a relief to know that he would get special attention when the decision was made that he could not be treated for his spreading cancer due to his advanced health and out of respect for his quality of life.
FIFTH, thanks to each of you who are taxpayers. I said this facetiously before in one of my posts, but the reality of this situation is that my father did not financially prepare for his final days. Luckily, the Medicare/Medicaid rules and regulations gave him medical comforts that he could not afford. I dare not stray into the political here at a time like this ... so suffice it to say that for as many things as are broken with our system, this experience certainly provided something that was essential.
SIXTH, thanks (begrudgingly) to the Nazis. Hear me out on this ... were it not for Adolf and World War II, it is doubtful that my father would have served during that war. And by serving in that war, he became eligible to be placed in a private home in a "VA bed", and he is now eligible to be interred at Ft. Indiantown Gap. These whole last few years might have had a much worse outcome had those 70-year-old decisions not occurred.
SEVENTH, thanks to my sister Sharon. Sharon is the sibling of mine who is most local, and she bore the brunt of the transitional time, when my father was demonstrating that he could no longer live independently and was having repeated "incidents" that led to the decision to have him placed in the home.
EIGHTH, thanks to my sister Sherry. She's been with me all the way since I took over responsibility for the details of his final years, and she's stepping up in a big way now to make sure that the details of what's happening in this next week are handled as they need to be.
NINTH, thanks to Paula (officially, she would be my step-sister during a few years in the 80's), who is in the health field and who has kept in touch and "translated" for us so that we could understand the medical machinations in lay people's terms. Additionally, she's playing a key central role in lining up what will occur at the service next week.
TENTH, thanks (in advance) to Thompson Funeral Home. They were specifically recommended by the county VA office as a place that really "does veterans right" -- and although we don't have a big production planned, they appear to be very respectful of the unique family situation and very eager to provide a closure that honors Ralph's military service.
ELEVENTH, thanks to Betty, Mary, MaryAnn, Paulette and the-lady-whose-name-I-can't-remember-but-she-was-Rev-Fisher's-first-wife-I-think, as those ladies played the role of wife to my dad over the years. I've talked before about the nontraditional relationship I had with my father, and it's also no secret that I'm not a fan of every single person on that list (not to mention I never met the first one, and I can't even remember the name of the fifth one), but for years at a time, they were the companion to the man who just passed. They should be recognized for that.
FINALLY, to end where I started, and on behalf of all those in my family who are now grieving and reflecting and possibly reliving old wounds, and struggling with the balance of happy thought and bad memories ... thanks again to everyone who paused to connect with any of our family today. There's a power in "community", and I felt that power today wash over me in wave after wave of healing. As much as I'm a fan of words, they fail me when I try to truly describe that feeling. But ... thank you.
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