Random Scandal Sheet for Sunday 4/24/11

[Since Holy Week is ending today, it seems fitting to be a final day for my Holy Hell Week of posts. Thanks for playing along!]

HOLY (-ier post):

What Chicago is talking about this week:

Well -- at least those that identify as Christians (or lapsed Christians for those who just make it to church once or twice a year) -- they are talking about and potentially singing some old fashioned hymns like "Up from the Grave He Arose!" and "Christ the Lord is Risen Today (A-a-a-a-le-e-lu-u-ia)".

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HELL (-ish post):

What Chicago is talking about this week:

After the Burr Oak cemetery scandal last year (people were buried on top of each other or "lost" in unmarked graves and stored in sheds on the property), legislators passed laws to tighten up the restrictions at private sites -- requiring a database of graves and background checks for graveyard employees. Except, now that time has passed, it turns out those same legislators have determined that those additional requirements would be too expensive, so new legislation has been introduced to "soften" those extra rules.

To which I say -- it might have been a much different gospel story had Jesus been buried at Burr Oak (or, [warning: possible sacrilege ahead (avert your eyes if you are so inclined)] maybe that's what actually happened at that Garden tomb near Calvary so long ago)!

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I MUST BE LAPSED, AS I ONLY RECALLED TWO OF THESE:

http://www.hymnsite.com/lection/

WE MUST CHANGE THINGS! (JUST NOT TOO MUCH!!):

http://www.chicagobreakingnews.com/news/local/chibrknews-ill-lawmakers-consider-softening-cemetery-law-20110423,0,7884366.story

PROOF THAT YOU MUST BE CAREFUL WHEN YOU GOOGLE SEARCH:

http://www.baseball-reference.com/players/e/eastelu01.shtml

Random Soapbox for Saturday 4/23/11

[Holy Hell Week resumes ... for two more days of doubling up on the posts so you can pick the one that suits your mood. And on a Saturday, that means a rant and a rave!]

HOLY (-ier post):

I don't mean to go off on a rave here, but ...

... what a holiday weekend we got going on. Bookended by Earth Day and Easter, there's also today's celebration of William Shakespeare's birth. Our governor in Illinois even declared today "talk like Shakespeare day", so why not just quote him directly (from Love's Labour Lost):

"He draweth out the thread of his verbosity finer than the staple of his argument."

If I ever need to change the whole concept of my Capricious Cognition thing, this might just fit!

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HELL (-ish post):

I don't mean to go off on a rant here, but ...

... what a difference a year makes. Last year at this time, "frat house on the hill" was what they were calling Congressman Eric Massa's office environment where he preyed on his young male interns, forcing them to live with him in DC. [Read up on it -- it's a great modern twist to the sexual harassment debate.]

Now, "frat house on the hill" is the attack cry against those congressfolk who are choosing to save personal funds by living in their offices. And it apparently is across the aisles (it's not just a Red or a Blue or a Black* thing), with critics in an uproar stating that their offices aren't meant to be lived in and that you shouldn't run to represent the people if you can't afford a place in Washington. And some go so far as to say that they should have to pay taxes on the imputed benefit for lodging.

You know what -- if a representative wants to sleep on a couch and shower at the gym in order to be thrifty, I say "more power to him or her"! And you know what else -- that same representative can really impress me once he or she applies that same level of thriftiness to our current financial morass. (Eric Massa -- insert "more ass" joke here.)

[*By the way, what is the color to associate with the Tea Partiers? Black goes with Tea but from what I've seen on TV, that color makes them see red! And since red is the color for anger, maybe they should co-opt Red from the Republicans (like they're trying to take over the party itself.) And then Republicans could affiliate with the color Grey (like an elephant -- or like the increasingly higher average age of its active members.) Or to keep this all flag-friendly, maybe the Tea Party could represent the color White (or is that just all kind of redundant, if you know what I mean).]

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FUNNY ENVIRONMENTAL QUOTES FOR EARTH DAY:

http://www.grinningplanet.com/environmental-quotes/funny-environmental-quotes.htm

FRAT HOUSE ON THE HILL as popular in 2010:

http://thehill.com/blogs/blog-briefing-room/news/91899-massas-frat-house-office

FRAT HOUSE ON THE HILL as popular in 2011:

http://www.politico.com/click/stories/1102/crew_dings_frat_house_hill_offices.html

Random Thought for Thursday 4/21/11

HOLY (-ier post) & HELL (-ish post).

So my concept for a theme week actually converges tonight. Not because I'm running behind and need to get caught up. Not because I'm tired of writing myself into a corner. But because it turns out that I may have figured out an answer that has vexed many in the religion in which I was brought up. I know not everyone has a heaven and a hell in their upbringing, but for those of us who do -- I think I may have stumbled on their existence.

It's been reported that astronomers have found two gigantic bubbles of energy bracketing our galaxy -- each 25,000 light years from the center of the galaxy's top and bottom. Each bubble has the energy equivalent of 100,000 supernova explosions. Don't look now -- but I think that's the location of heaven and hell. Should I tell anyone -- I mean besides my FB friends and anyone who has stumbled on this blog post?

I'M NOT MAKING IT UP -- IT's IN THE FREAKIN' NEW YORK TIMES:

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/11/10/science/space/10galaxy.html

HERE's A TOPIC FOR DEBATE (I GUESS): IS JUDAS IN HEAVEN OR HELL:

http://religion.blogs.cnn.com/2011/04/21/my-take-is-judas-in-heaven-or-hell-god-only-knows/comment-page-46/

ALSO, BETELGEUSE IS GOING TO EXPLODE SOON!:

http://www.ibtimes.com/articles/104348/20110124/betelgeuse-supernova-could-rival-moon-give-scientists-inside-look.htm

Random Wordplay for Wednesday 4/20/11

[Two late nights at work in a row means I'm posting a little late ... I picked the wrong time to double up on my obligations during Holy Hell week, no?]

HOLY (-ier post)

Amazing Race Word Association (Aside)

Used in a sentence: "After last week's episode, a little Amazing Race Word Association (my Aside for this week) seems in order: Austria ... Schwarzenegger ... California ... therapy ... Freud ... couch ... chimney sweep ... chimchimanee, chimchimanee, chimchimchiree ... Van Dyke ... Julie Andrews ... von trapp ... Sound of Music ... Happy Easter (because that was the traditional holiday movie back in the days when there were so few channels)!

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HELL (-ish post)

Gaborish

Used in a sentence: "Those guys make a mockery of marriage -- their behavior is just Gaborish."

It's not a competition, and the heart wants what it wants, but with 18 divorces so far among the Gabor sisters, something does seem a little sibling-rivalry-gone-amuck-ish. Not that I can't personally relate (hey -- not throwing any judgment around as it's made my life rather interesting) -- I'm thinking Gaborish might be in my genes (and maybe it skips a generation)?

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WERE THE VON TRAPPS ACTUALLY IN THE SOUND OF MUSIC?:

http://www.eeggs.com/items/17781.html

OF COURSE THERE IS A CHIMNEY SWEEP COMPANY WITH THIS NAME:

http://www.chim-chiminee.com/

SIBLING RIVALRY IN THE EXTREME: TWO SISTERS MARRIED THE SAME GUY:

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001248/bio

Random Tune for Tuesday 4/19/11

[Sometimes I practically write myself into a corner ... here's a second entry in my new theme of Holy Hell Week that also advances to the next letter of my ongoing series AtoZ Musical Eccentricities: The Cassette Years. Let's see how I get out of this one!]

HOLY (-ier post)

Let's take it to church (and "Happy Passover!" -- or does one say "Congratulations on getting Passed Over!" -- to those celebrating?) -- with a little something from a soundtrack (I filed that cassette under H years ago since either her or her mom sang all the songs on it) that is in my collection. 'Tis the season ...

H IS FOR HOUSTON, WHITNEY and CISSY:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ev5_qIoeDrw&feature=related

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HELL (-ish post)

Good old Don Henley can channel his bitter observations about the world around him like no one else. So why not highlight this song featuring the "devil [getting] downhearted ... 'cause there's nothing left for him to claim" in our modern world. Although -- note the video on youtube is not the one with Don (he can also channel his legal rights like few others, so those have been yanked) but instead a performance from the Quaker version of the Glee kids performing at music camp. [And the fact that the Quakers are rocking out to this tune just makes it all the more random.]

UNLESS THAT H IS FOR HENLEY, DON:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=73Pjm1Eb3uQ

Random Memorial for Monday 4/18/11

[It's been awhile, so why not another theme week (?) -- welcome to "Holy Hell Week"! Here's how it will work: depending on how you feel, you pick the post that best fits your mood.]

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HOLY (-ier post)

Gone but not forgotten: Easter as a rotating holiday.

Announced today, the "mystery" of the Last Supper was solved. Of course, until I saw the headline, I didn't know that Matthew, Mark and Luke contradicted John as to the date of that last meal -- but hey, I'm no biblical scholar. Apparently, with this solution, Easter can now be celebrated every year on April 5.

Assuming this gets accepted by those in authority (are you listening, Pope?) and takes off ...snowy egg hunts, you will be missed.

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HELL (-ish post)

Gone but not forgotten: adult only time at the Marriott.

In case you haven't heard, the Marriott chain has "killed" the adult only pay-per-view options from its in house entertainment systems. And, apparently, it's not for any noble reason -- it's just that in modern times, people that are so inclined pack their porn with them on their laptop or iPad. As they prepare to announce their first quarter earnings, they've already provided this guidance -- "growth has been [less] than expected". I have a feeling that many of your older creepier non-technology-oriented male customers might be, ahem ... saying the same thing.

Exclaiming at the front desk the morning after, "but I hit that button on the remote by mistake" ... you will be missed.

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I LOVE WHEN THEY SOLVE MYSTERIES THAT I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW ABOUT:

http://ohlundonline.blogspot.com/2011/04/mystery-of-lords-last-supper-solved.html

BLAME IT ON THE iPAD WITH ITS iPORN:

http://consumerist.com/2011/01/marriott-bans-porn-from-new-hotels.html

CONSEQUENCE -- A "LACK OF GROWTH":

http://www.foxbusiness.com/industries/2011/03/28/marriott-sees-weaker-expected-demand-north-america/