Random Thought for Thursday 12/31/15

It's happening ... the annual writing of the new year's resolutions.  Of course, with them being on the blog, I can actually look back at the resolutions made one year ago to determine that I succeeded on six of them.

Six out of fifteen from 2015.  That wouldn't be a passing grade in school ...but I would get a modern day participation ribbon!  I'll let that factoid dissuade me from listing 16 resolutions for the year ahead ... and instead I'll set myself up for better success by offering just 6 resolutions for 2016.  To whit:

1.)  Update family research ... now with both parents passed, it seems all the more urgent to digitize the previous work.  Whether that means heading to ancestry.com, or publishing photos so that folks can be properly identified, or seeing who is willing to provide data from the latest generation, or trying to get on one of those finding your roots/who do you think you are shows ... it's time to make progress on the optimal presentation of what is currently just a bunch of paper in a filing cabinet.

2.)  Print out photos ... every day that passes is one more day closer to the inevitable crash of cell phones and/or computers ... and the loss of years of digital photos that don't exist in tangible form.  While not exactly a national crisis, it does have the potential to be a bit of a personal crisis ... so it's time to get shutterflied up in here!

3.)  Watch more superhero movies ... although I'm up to date on my Batmans and my Supermans (which is good, considering Batman V Superman is on the docket for release in 2016), I've never seen a single X-men film nor anything from the Marvel-verse (what can I say? ... it seems my allegiance leans more toward the DC side of comics) ... and that needs to change in the new year.

4.)  Control my television addiction ... my DVR is always more than 95% full, which has created a media consumption never ending battle to put me under pressure to see all that needs to be seen.  So I should probably seek help for my addiction and reduce my watch list (carefully, so as not to suffer withdrawal), with a goal of being below 40% next year at this time (a 5% monthly reduction seems doable, no?) ...

5.)  Continue with my weight loss ... since starting a long term program this past summer designed to change habits, I've lost 12.5 pounds ... but I'm really targeting a loss of three times that amount by the end of the year.  Progress is progress, but the plateau is the enemy, so I need to stay on track and likely try new things ...

6.)  Travel, travel, travel ... it is quite possibly the thing in life that brings me the most enjoyment ... and 2016 has a slate of itineraries, from Phoenix/Vegas in February for the "chasing the Super Bowl tradition" to the triumphant return to Chicago (after having canceled two other trips since moving from there to here in early 2014), to a stop in Toronto (to complete my quest of dipping my feet into each of the Great Lakes) to a drive up the coast to central PA in time for my undergrad alma mater's 150th birthday party in the fall, to a return trip to New Orleans as part of a new holiday tradition ... I am looking forward to meeting new people, seeing new things, checking off a few more of my travel must-haves (like my burger quest ... and visits to Hard Rocks ... and touring the remaining Kaplan centers) ... and, most importantly, catching up with friends along the way!

And so the new year begins.  From me and mine to you and yours ... happy happy happy 2016!

LAST YEAR'S LIST (WITH 6 of 15 SUCCESSES):
http://www.capcognition.blogspot.com/2015/01/random-thought-for-thursday-1115.html

REMEMBER TO CHECK IN FREQUENTLY:
http://www.joinbluepen.com/new-years-resolutions-are-just-year-round-goals-in-disguise/

OR ... DON'T BOTHER (WITH A TWIST):
http://goinswriter.com/writing-resolutions/

Random Wordplay for Wednesday 12/30/15

Schlonged.

Used in a sentence:  "Dear old LVC, and specifically professors Norton and Brown (RIP):  I regret to inform you that the recent turn of campaign events has highlighted a deficiency in my undergrad political science education .. namely the failure to be informed by you that schlonged is a well known, often used, frequently referenced concept in politics."

To be fair, I have checked the texts used in all of my classes (as I never was much of one to discard books of any kind that came into my life, so yes ... I still have them all), and not a single one includes schlongs, schlonged or schlongings in any index or chapter heading or title ... so it might not be appropriate to place blame on you as the resources you were using were clearly out of date and/or not approved by Trump.

So in the end, I'm not going to do something drastic like return my degree or make demands of the administration ... but I *am* going to take this opportunity to consider this development as "continuing education" and I trust that the current political science department is working diligently to see to that their students are appropriately schlonged.  I mean ... appropriately educated about how to be schlonged.  I mean ... appropriately educated about how NOT to be schlonged.  I mean ... I don't know what I mean any more ...

SCHLONGED:  A HISTORICAL PERSPECTIVE:
http://www.politico.com/magazine/story/2015/12/donald-trump-schlong-perils-of-vulgarity-213459

SCHLONGED:  A LINGUISTIC PERSPECTIVE:
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/morning-mix/wp/2015/12/22/donald-trumps-schlonged-a-linguistic-investigation/

SCHLONGED:  A VERBING PERSPECTIVE:
http://ccat.sas.upenn.edu/~haroldfs/family/verbing.html

Random Tune for Tuesday 12/29/15

This did not happen because Mariah's 'All I Want for Christmas' was bumped off the top of the holiday playlist this year (for the Shins' cover of 'Wonderful Christmastime', according to PlayNetwork and interwebs).

This also did not happen because I'm "over" the holidays.  On the contrary, until the tree comes down ... Christmas music is fair game for the playlist at ye new olde homestead.

Instead, this happened because it's part of my ongoing discarded cassettes series, seeing as how I *also* have the CD in my collection ... and seeing as how I'm finally okay with a slight purge of my belongings (slight being the operative word).

True to form, the tune I'll feature from this album is one of the melancholy ones (because sadness and the holidays are inextricably intertwined) ... a classic tune that reminds me of classic Carey (before she got so eccentric/loopy) ... a song she likely sings to her baby daddy around this time of year (what?  too soon?).

ALL YEAR LONG I COULD CARE LESS ... BUT ...:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vAOIC737e_k

Random Memorial for Monday 12/28/15

Gone but not forgotten:  the beer cans in the bathroom.

No ... the New Year's Eve party was NOT held early ... and this is not the detritus from some epic bender.

As a matter of fact, if you have the option to zoom in, you'll find that these beer cans are the kind you'd take to Antiques Roadshow to make sure that they aren't worth a bunch of bucks.

So what happened?  The landlord stopped by today to fix the leaky bathroom roof (for those keeping track, it is true that the bathroom ceiling leaked in three of the last four domiciles of the last eight years), and he discovered dozens of these items stashed in the rafters.

According to him, the place was full of similar cans when he bought it ... five huge outdoor trash bins full he says.  Of course, why they were in the ceiling is anybody's guess.

Beer cans of the 40's (and leaky bathroom ceiling) ... you will (both) be missed.

WAIT ... ARE THOSE CANS AN INVESTMENT?:
http://cansmartbeercans.com/how_much_are_your_beercans_worth.html

SPEAKING OF THINGS FOUND IN ATTICS:
http://www.oddee.com/item_98971.aspx

SPEAKING OF THE ANTIQUES ROADSHOW:
http://www.therichest.com/luxury/most-expensive/the-10-most-expensive-finds-on-antiques-roadshow/?view=all

Random Scandal Sheet for Sunday 12/27/15

What southern Florida is talking about this week:

How the best parts of the Sunday paper are, in order, the comics (or the funnies, depending on your age) AND the police log!

Sadly, the local paper in Florida doesn't list actual names like the local paper back home in central PA does ... but I still enjoy reading it for the lessons it teaches us.

For instance, know *this*: at 12:30am, in the middle of getting a lap dance, one should be very careful to clearly dialogue with the performer about what money in which pocket is to be part of the experience.  (Although, truth be told, I think this whole thing sounds like a story made up to try to get out of trouble with the spouse the day after.)  Should you ever bump into me at such an establishment, you'll find that I separate out my tips into different pockets ($3 in one for the regular, and a $5 in the back pocket for anyone special), because no one wants to "accidentally" give a $20 bill to the wrong performer.  (Also note ... clearly when I'm around, it's going to "spritz" or "drizzle" and never "rain" up in "da club".)

If nothing else, let's all understand *this* ... stripper's kids need to have a Christmas too, one way or another!  Consider yourself on notice.

HOW TO MAKE IT RAIN (COLLOQUIALLY):
http://www.wikihow.com/Make-It-Rain-Money

HOW TO MAKE IT RAIN (SCIENTIFICALLY):
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-1351437/Can-scientists-REALLY-make-rain-useless-shower.html

WHEN STRIPPERS ATTACK (LITERALLY)!:
http://www.thesmokinggun.com/file/when-strippers-attack-vol-iii?page=1

Random Soapbox for Saturday 12/26/15

I don't mean to go off on a rave here, but ...

... it's time for the sixth (!) annual "best of" list for the year that is ending.  By next week at this time it will already be 2016, and so today is the day to start the reflection that accompanies my favorite holiday each year (yep, I'm a huge fan of watching the odometer turn over each new year's eve).

As in years past, this list will be alphabetical ... so here are the 15 things I'll recall fondly about 2015:

1.)  BURGERS:  Numbers 10 and 11 of my quest for the 25 best burgers in the country were eaten this year (New York and Atlanta respectively).  As much as I enjoy travelling as if it were my second job, travelling to a city where I can cross another burger off the list is icing on the cake.  Or bacon on the patty, more accurately (especially the double coronary bypass burger from the Vortex in Atlanta).

2.)  CASANOVA and OZZIE and MURDER:  The rescued pit bull puppies turned two just yesterday, and they continue to be the cutest, smartest, lovingest, bestest additions to the family ... not to forget their older "sister" Murder, who remains the last cat standing from the feline era.  No bad mood can withstand their hugs and kisses (and headbutts).

3.)  EMPLOYMENT:  Last year at this time, I was wrapping up a career with Kaplan Test Prep, then with the Graduate/Pre-College division, facing the third day of the new year as the day when UNemployment started due to mandatory lay-offs.  By applying the lessons learned on how not to burn bridges, by the second week of February, I was back to work ... at Kaplan Test Prep ... this time with the Health division, which was coincidentally headed up by the same guy who originally hired me into the company eleven years earlier.  Kismet.  Kaplan kismet, I say.

4.)  EVENTS OF DEC 3:  For the full story, tune in near the end of September in 2018, during the Flashback Friday series.  For the abbreviated story, we did what Jeff, Ellie and Phil told us to do back in 1964.

5.)  FAMILY VISITS:  Walt and Dolly in the winter, Sherry and Eric in the spring and Shirly and Eddie in the summer.  Looks like there's an opening in the fall (first come, first served ... with notice, of course).  After all, what's the fun of living full time in sun-soaked paradise if you can't share it with folks?

6.)  HOUSING:  Of course, those visits only work when there's a place to visit.  To show how challenging the start of 2015 actually was, in addition to the (um)employment hiccup, there was also the fact that the landlady of the first house rented here in Florida ("for a long time", she said) decided to move back in to her home in March.  More good luck prevailed, though ... as another house in the same 'hood became available at just the right time ... with a nice back yard for the dogs.

7.)  LOREM IPSUM:  You may not be familiar with my ongoing "short" story (currently in Chapter 23), but it's something I had wanted to do ever since joining the Facebook ... to tell a story in small nuggets one day at a time.  I've had to take breaks every now and then, but it's been most consistently on track this year, and the adventures of a college aged boy who discovers that he can take away the pain of others with just a simple touch continues daily.  PLUS ... I moved it to its own blogspot now, so it's easier than ever to get caught up or catch what you may have missed!

8.)  MARY IRENE:  Also known as ... my mother.  She collected a lot of different last names over the years, so, for the reference here, I'll just call her by her first and middle ones ... and mention that she passed in July of 2015, somewhat unexpectedly, after a short illness.  She and I did not have any traditional relationship or any kind ... and now that chance has passed ... but there's always the memories.

9.)  NEW ORLEANS III:  Whilst living in Chicago, southern Florida became the go-to vacation spot.  But now that the domicile is in southern Florida, the question was ... where will the *new* go-to vacation spot be?  Turns out the answer is New Orleans, which was visited for the third time in nearly as many years.  Here's hoping it can become an annual Christmastime tradition ...

10.)  NEW YORK:  But New Orleans wasn't the only city starting with the word NEW that got visited in 2015, as the "chasing the Super Bowl tradition" continued (it's where we go to the city that hosted the Super Bowl the year before to watch the Super Bowl of the current year, when all the hotel rooms are much much cheaper).  It was a snowy icy time (actually, we got stuck there an extra day) ... but it was an opportunity not to be missed to get to visit somewhere iconic.

11.)  PRESIDENTIAL DEBATES:  I'm a student of politics ... and students of politics were rewarded this year with the run up to the election next year consisting of debate after debate, ostensibly to get to know the candidates.  Of course, with the batch that are currently in the running, that also meant hours and hours of pure entertainment.  Eventually, things will get serious (maybe? hopefully?) ...

12.)  TWELVE and a HALF POUNDS:  Spurned on somewhat by the events of #8 above, I recommitted to an exercise program (somewhat derailed at year's end with bum knees that couldn't keep up with my plans), but insisted that it be about changing habits and developing new routines and that it be a long game (with a final target aimed at October of 2016).  Six months in ... and 12.5 pounds are gone ... with many more to go.

13.)  VEGAS IV:  For the fourth time ... and all four times because it was the location of a work meeting ... I also spent time early in the year in Sin City (where I may or may not have sinned).  Ironically, it was actually the first day of work in my new division (as explained in #3 above) ... and since it was a surprise trip, I didn't have any time to plan anything on the side (which will not be the scenario for Vegas V in a few weeks ...)

14.)  WHITMAN WEDDING:  In 2015, there was one more time that I got in an airplane (in addition to New York, Vegas and New Orleans) ... and that was for a fall weekend flying to Atlanta, and then driving to the hills of Tennessee to get to catch a glimpse of the youngest Whitman boy getting married (despite getting lost in those hills, I did manage it make it ... eventually).  It was a full circle moment, having been to all the other Whitman ceremonies over the years, and a (brief) chance to see PA family in a place other than back home in PA (where I did not get to visit this past year).

15.)  YOU:  It's kind of an honorary spot on this annual countdown ... but whether YOU are catching this on the blog or on the Facebook, if YOU made it this far, that means YOU cared enough to spend some time with me looking back at my year.  And no list can be long enough to cover everyone with whom I shared great moments this year (like catching up with Gully while in Atlanta, or with my nephew Ryan while in Nashville, or with Kristi remotely via a care package full of PA goodies that arrived at the new house).  But just know that no retrospective look at the year that is ending is complete without pausing to be happy that YOU are in my life, one way or another.

And so another year is in the record books ... and a new one is waiting to begin.  I couldn't be more excited to see what adventures lie in store for 2016!  So from all of me and mine to all of you and yours ... Happy Almost New Year!

THE CUTEST THINGS EVER ... WAITING TO BE YOUR FRIENDS:
https://www.facebook.com/thecasanovajames/?ref=hl

GET CAUGHT UP OR START OVER AT THE BEGINNING (NOW EASIER THAN EVER):
http://www.loremipsumarchives.blogspot.com/

MY MOST VIEWED POST OF 2015 (ACCORDING TO THE GOOGLE STATS PEOPLE):
http://capcognition.blogspot.com/2015/06/random-memorial-for-monday-61515.html

Random Flashback for Friday 12/25/15

On this Christmas day in 2015 ...

... here's a tree from 1995, because that's how I currently do Fridays ... looking backwards twenty years.

I didn't get to see this tree in person (it was located in Montana, as was my mother, also in the photo), but I did get the pictures like this sent to me in holiday cards throughout the years (until this year, as my mother passed away earlier in 2015).

It was a way for me to keep connected pre-Facebook to the different parts of our scattered family.

Happily, now there's Facebook so I can stay "connected" with all kinds of individuals who played a role in my life of some kind, no matter how scattered they be (geographically or otherwise) ... and it is to all of them that a Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays and Blessed New Year is wished!

Random Thought for Thursday 12/24/15

My wish for you this holiday season ...

(whatever holiday you may have already celebrated ... or are currently celebrating ... or will be celebrating) ...

... is that you find *at least one* moment amidst all the hustle and bustle ... the food and the presents ... the to-do list and the naughty and nice list ... the songs and the stories ...

... to sit back for a moment, and to look into the eyes of loved ones, and to appreciate all that you have.

Just don't stare too long ... or else it starts to get a little creepy.

From me and mine to you and yours ... may you have the happiest of holidays!

A CHRISTMAS MESSAGE:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DKk9rv2hUfA

A CHRISTMAS WISH:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U1v5aCdiVr0

A CHRISTMAS STORY:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qUzIF4eYRkg

Random Wordplay for Wednesday 12/23/15

This year's HOTTEST gift (*literally*).

Used in a sentence:  "Has there ever been more truth in advertising than in the current marketing campaign for the Hover Board, this year's HOTTEST gift (*literally*)."

I kind of wonder if the person who coined that phrase for this particular product got promoted ... or fired, what with the tendency for these back-to-the-future inspired items to go up in flames.

All signs were pointing to the lithium ion batteries (the same ones banned from airplanes because they tend to cause fires there as well), except the dozen or so incidents in the US haven't yet proven one particular cause.

What can you do?  There's a price for being cooler than everyone else ... and early adopters need to understand that it's a life-or-death choice to be the Joneses with which everyone else has to keep up.

Merry Christmas (and, if you are one of *those* people, please consider upping your fire insurance)!

AT LEAST A DOZEN SO FAR:
http://www.cnet.com/news/why-are-hoverboards-exploding-and-catching-fire/

LITHIUM ION BATTERIES ARE THE DEVIL:
http://www.economist.com/blogs/economist-explains/2014/01/economist-explains-19

HEY COOL KIDS ... IT DOESN'T LAST!:
http://www.latimes.com/science/sciencenow/la-sci-sn-cool-kids-study-20140612-story.html

Random Tune for Tuesday 12/22/15

And ... the Dead Celebrity Tune Trilogy continues ... with the second of three tunes at the end of the year from celebrities who passed in 2015.

You haven't heard of it?  I've been doing it for seven years ... so where you been?

The 2015 edition kicked off two weeks ago with a song from Maureen O'Hara ... and tonight, it's Percy Sledge's turn.  Anyone else might have selected the uber-popular 'When A Man Loves A Woman' to feature (which, sadly, being a child of the 80's, I first learned as a Bolton song) ... but once I saw that he covered 'Whiter Shade of Pale' (which, happily, I first learned as a Lennox song ... despite it being originally a Procol Harum song), I knew *that* was the tune for tonight.

The trilogy closes in two weeks ... who will be the third?

WHO *HASN'T* SKIPPED THE LIGHTS FANDANGO AT LEAST ONCE?:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P04QGS78QdQ

Random Memorial for Monday 12/21/15

Gone but not forgotten:  Steve Harvey.

Oh he's not dead.  Yet.

And sure everybody makes mistakes sometimes.  (Although SNL has known for years that he can't read, as they've demonstrated in various skits ... so there's that.)

But I have to tell you ... if you're going to piss off a nation in the universe, may I recommend that you screw up with Switzerland ... or Sweden ... or Canada ... peace-loving places known for their neutrality.  What do I NOT recommend?  Doing so to Colombia.  Crime-riddled, drug-lords-are-gonna-get-you, we've-been-beheading-people-long-before-ISIS-made-it-hip Colombia.

Put your affairs in order, Mr. Harvey.  Someone (or multiple ones, more likely) already put out the hit I'm sure.  Your days are numbered ... after which, of course, you'll be missed (especially by Filipinos everywhere).

SNL HAS KNOWN ABOUT MR. HARVEY'S PROBLEM FOR YEARS:
http://www.needmorecookies.com/pictures/funny/snl-called-it-years-ago-steve-harvey-cant-read-1508567/

COLOMBIA ... CRIME RIDDLED COLOMBIA:
https://www.osac.gov/pages/ContentReportDetails.aspx?cid=17483

OR NOT (AN ALTERNATIVE VIEW THAT JUST MAY SAVE STEVE):
https://www.gapyear.com/features/217796/colombia-dangerous-or-tourists

Random Scandal Sheet for Sunday 12/20/15

What southern Florida is talking about this week:

... whether the skill of "coding" should count as a foreign language requirement.

Here in Florida, there's a controversy brewing over whether graduation requirements can be modified so that students, who already have to take a foreign language, can substitute computer coding instead of the more traditional foreign languages.

It's been quite some time since I was being formally educated ... where I did have four years of German in high school and also managed to learn Pascal as well (which, back in 1989, was the advanced version of computer programming, just a step or two beyond Basic [both the name of the starter language and the characterization of it]).  Of course, nowadays, I don't even recognize the names of what the kids are programming (R, Matlab, Scala and others from the link below/to follow) ... and I tend to think even the foreign language options have changed from French, Latin, German and Spanish (the old big four) to now include Arabic and Chinese options.

Time will tell where the state ends up (my sense of the Florida legislature is that things move very very very slowly ...), but my initial thought is why can't it be an "and" solution instead of an "or"?  After all, it's an increasingly global economy (despite some isolationist chatter tied to campaigning) which has depended on computer skills already for decades ... so why create a scenario where the future folks have to choose?

HOT OFF THE PRESSES:
https://hereandnow.wbur.org/2015/12/17/florida-coding-foreign-language

FOREIGN LANGUAGES ARE ALREADY UNDER ATTACK:
http://www.theatlantic.com/education/archive/2015/05/filling-americas-language-education-potholes/392876/

THE FUTURE LANGUAGES KIDS WILL "SPEAK":
http://techbeacon.com/13-programming-languages-defining-future-coding

Random Soapbox for Saturday 12/19/15

I don't mean to go of on a rant here, but ...

... upon hearing that there is indeed now a groupon for the purchase of clip-in "man-buns", I feel it is (past) time to encourage folks to take my "I'm Not a Douche" pledge for 2016.

Disclaimer -- I'm not necessarily saying that anyone who relates to any one (or more) of the below items is *automatically* a douche.  However, the more boxes that you can check, the higher the burden of proof that you carry to demonstrate that you're not (by providing clear and convincing evidence, a relatively high legal standard).

Without further ado ... here is the "I'm Not a Douche" pledge for your and your friends to take before the new year:

1.)  I will not ever wear a man-bun, clipped-in nor naturally coiffed (... and this isn't just me being jealous because the spot where one places a man-bun on my head is no longer growing hair).

2.)  I will not ever "drop deuces" when someone takes a photo of me.  (... as, you know ... I'm neither a rocker nor a gang member).

3.)  I will not ever own more than three pairs of sneakers ... one for the back yard, one for exercise and one to wear out in public ( ... and never ever ever will my sneakers *match* my outfit, all garanimal like).

4.)  I will not ever drive a car fancier than it need be or tricked out in some form or fashion ( ... because I am perfectly satisfied with my appendage ... and you will be too).

Taken this day in front of other non-douche witnesses ... 12.20.15 ... sincerely, T Neidermyer.

THE IMPETUS FOR THE PLEDGE:
https://www.groupon.com/deals/gg-instant-man-bun

WHEN YOU ARE TEMPTED TO "THROW DEUCES" IN A PHOTO:
http://www.purewow.com/beauty/What-To-Do-With-Hands-In-Photos

SCIENCE HAS PROVED POINT 4:
http://kbat.com/survey-says-42-of-guys-who-drive-sports-cars-have-a-small-penis/

Random Flashback for Friday 12/18/15

2015 is almost over!

Which means my weekly flashback to twenty years ago in 1995 is *also* almost over.

But first ... two weeks of holiday photos sent to me of my bio-moms back then ... or, as this particular picture seems to imply, a photo of Clint Eastwood with my mom who just happens to be in the corner.  (I'm guessing this was not the only house in Montana that gave Clint top billing ...)

My mother passed away earlier this year, and 2015 will be the first time that I don't get my usual holiday package from her.  No matter how poorly our relationship adjusted to the realities of life over the years, she was always most certain to reach out at Christmas, often with something to add to my decorations stash.

So even though she's gone ... her memory lives on in photos like this one from back then ... and currently all over the house and on the tree from what she gifted me throughout the decades.  Merry Christmas Mom ... and Clint.

Random Thought for Thursday 12/17/15

I'm just going to say it because I know it to be true.

That Dragon hands-free typing ad in heavy rotation right now ... you just know it was an innovation inspired by the adult entertainment industry.  Oh sure they can spin in and stretch it to some kind of workplace or home office application ... but everybody knows that there are just times when you need things to happen on your computer screen and both hands are busy.

Funny thing ... when *I* was little, it was the space shuttle that led to all kinds of scientific advancements ... and now that we're in the age of the internet, it's porn that ultimately makes our modern lives spent so much on the interwebs that much easier.

THE PRODUCT AS ADVERTISED:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z3sNdwxe2bA

FOR THE PORN ADDICT IN YOUR LIFE:
http://www.nuance.com/dragon/givedragon/index.htm

INNOVATION (COURTESY OF THE PLACES YOU CLEAR FROM YOUR BROWSER):
http://colettesymanowitz.com/2014/01/21/how-the-porn-industry-has-driven-internet-innovation/

Random Wordplay for Wednesday 12/16/15

Poop like an elephant.

Used in a sentence:  "Far be it from me to be extra competitive, but I felt obligated to one-up someone recently when it was said that they needed the facilities first because they had to 'pee like a race horse' ... so I countered with ... but I have to 'poop like an elephant'."

Then, I did some googling to look for accompanying links for tonight's post, and it turns out that 'poop like an elephant' is an established modern day approach to consuming information in this day and age ... so somebody already took my concept and applied it a different way.

Also ... I didn't get to be first in the bathroom ...

HOW PEEING LIKE A RACE HORSE BECAME A THING:
http://www.todayifoundout.com/index.php/2015/07/origin-expression-piss-like-racehorse/

HOW POOPING LIKE AN ELEPHANT BECAME A THING:
http://sachachua.com/blog/2009/11/eat-like-a-bird-poop-like-an-elephant-eat-like-a-bee/

THE SCOOP ON THE ELEPHANT POOP AKA TURD TRIVIA:
http://www.sfzoo.org/announcements/the-scoop-on-poop-opening-day

Random Tune for Tuesday 12/15/15

Turns out I have double copies of Christmas albums as well!

Which means, for this ongoing series where the cassette version of a release is being discarded because I also already have the CD on that side of my music collection, I'm going to run across a Christmas collection or two that fit the description of the purging that is (finally) happening.

I do so love me some Amy Grant around the holidays ... and so it was difficult to just choose one tune to feature, but, in the end, I'll settle for the country classic (also covered by Kenny Rogers and Reba McEntire and Vince Gill at various times) "'Til the Season Comes 'Round Again".

I think it perfectly captures the touch of melancholy that lurks behind many Christmas memories and delivers the admonition to be thankful for all whom gather *when* they gather ... never knowing what the future may hold.

Or, in the words of the song ...

May the new year be blessed with good tidings
Til the next time I see you again
If we must say goodbye
Let the spirit go with you
'Til the season comes 'round again.

REMEMBER THE MOMENT 'TIL THE SEASON COMES 'ROUND AGAIN:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NLKB3y1hZhQ

Random Memorial for Monday 12/14/15

(Can it please now be) gone and (soon) forgotten:  the request to rename the Lynch building on the campus of my alma mater.

Yep ... good ole LVC was in the news last week for a list of demands affiliated with a #blacklivesmatter protest that included renaming the building that was once a gym and is now a math and computer science/coffee shop.

Unfortunately, that one item took on a life of its own, and created a laughingstock out of the whole situation ... and the internets went wild with folks condemning liberal arts education, accusing students of being without brain cells, and bemoaning the influence of political correctness in places it should never be.  Eventually, a statement that the students "regretted" adding that particular item to their list made it to the local news ... proving that Coco Chanel's sage advice applies to so many more circumstances than first realized (i.e.  before submitting a list of demands, take a last look and remove one item).

Here's what hurt my heart a bit ... the renaming of the Lynch building was NOT the only item on the list, and it quickly overshadowed what were likely legitimate concerns about diversity and sensitivity and accessibility (as eventually a partial list of *those* items also made its way to the press).  I spent a decade on and off at this school (I liked getting degrees, so I did it thrice ... graduating in '95 and again in '00 in between my semesters getting my JD).  It is smack dab in the middle of central PA, which isn't the first place one thinks of when it comes to a melting pot of multiple cultures -- or at least it wasn't twenty years ago.  Back then, the county was barely dealing with the assimilation of a vibrant Latino culture who came to work at the  local poultry processing plans.  (Plus we had a radicalized Westboro-light couple known as the Jarboes who were attempting to bring the government down any chance they could, but that's a different story for a different time ... and it may be that the good Lord has finally called them home as was the wish of many during that time frame.)

I digress ... my point is, the Lynch thing aside, I felt a bit Pope Francis-y about the other specifics (namely, who am I to judge).  I'm not living in the shoes of those who feel discriminated against, and I'm a white male in a society that heavily favors individuals with both of those descriptors.  In my opinion, college should be a time for questioning the norm, and evaluating belief systems, and challenging authority (respectfully).  This is what *should* be happening.  And that approach shouldn't be discounted just because of the hijacking of this conversation.

Then there's *this* thing -- in monitoring the back and forth discussions on social media about the incident, I saw someone admit that, back when we were students and back when Lynch was a gym where basketball games were played, some of the students in the rowdy section called themselves the "Lynch Mob".  While I still don't think that behavior would have been fixed by a name change to a building, it does highlight the fact that sensitivity training would have been the right thing to call for back in the day.  And if it would have been the right thing to call for back then ... then it's probably the right thing to demand in today's "post-racial" environment.

So let's move on.  Let the derision die down, let the building stay as named ... but let's commit to taking a good hard look at the issues, and let's discuss and debate and instruct and inform and relate and reexamine ... because that's the eternal mission of education.

And then silly little misdirection over a building's name, you will be but a blip of this discussion ... and you will be a blip not missed.

THE INITIAL STORY ...:
http://www.ldnews.com/story/news/education/2015/12/09/lvc-students-rename-lynch-building/77063874/

THE REGRET ...:
http://www.ldnews.com/story/news/local/2015/12/10/lvc-prof-students-regret-impact-lynch-demand/77095242/

OH COCO ... HOW DID YOU GET SO SMART?:
http://littlegreymatters.com/tag/before-you-walk-out-the-door-everyday-take-one-thing-off/

Random Scandal Sheet for Sunday 12/13/15

What New Orleans is talking about this week:

Christmas spirit that won't be denied.

Turns out that city employees decided that a Christmas tree that a homeless man had put up in a little "camp" under a local bridge was a code violation ... and so they hauled it away in a trash truck during a routine sweep.

But there's a happy ending after all, because once the local news posted about the story, multiple people went out of their way to stop by the tent and donate what is now a number of fully decorated trees, so many that he, in turn, has donated some of the donated trees.

And if that doesn't just warm your heart this holiday season ... I don't know what will.

CHRISTMAS SPIRIT THAT WON'T BE DENIED:
http://www.wdsu.com/news/local-news/new-orleans/christmas-spirit-returns-to-homeless-man-community-under-pontchartrain-expressway/36933736

SPEAKING OF THE HOMELESS:
http://www.endhomelessness.org/library/entry/the-state-of-homelessness-in-america-2015

SPEAKING OF WARMING YOUR HEART THIS HOLIDAY SEASON:
http://www.lifebuzz.com/christmas-gifts/

Random Soapbox for Saturday 12/12/15

I don't mean to go off on a rant here, but ...

... I forgot how uncomfortable New Orleans makes me feel with so many of the homeless being accompanied by dogs.

This is the third trip in almost as many years (Feb 2014, Nov 2014 and now Dec 2015), and that odd feeling came right back with just a few footsteps taken around the French Quarter.

Mind you, far be it from me to begrudge anyone companionship ... and I'm sure it says something fundamentally horrible about me that I want to rescue the dogs more than the people ... it's just that I can't dismiss the feeling that maybe the pets are just "props" and not really family.  There was one dog outside of the hotel on Bourbon dressed as a thug and being posed for pictures with drunken tourists, and it was all I could do to go take the pooch and spirit him away into *my* custody.  (Note ... that is NOT the photo accompanying this post, which just came off of the images google provides.)

I'm aware enough to know that this is more my problem with how it makes me feel and points to work that I need to do on myself ... but it's something with which I really really struggle.

THEY CALL THEM 'GUTTER PUNKS':
http://www.nola.com/crime/index.ssf/2015/03/french_quarter_transients_targ.html

AN ALTERNATE VIEW ON THE ISSUE:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/danielle-wolffe/8-reasons-homeless-people_b_6562446.html

BTW ... LOOKS LIKE NAWLINS IS MAKING PROGRESS WITH HOMELESSNESS:
http://thinkprogress.org/economy/2015/01/08/3609181/nola-ends-vet-homelessness/

Random Flashback for Friday 12/11/15

Twenty years ago, this photo was slipped into a Christmas card that was sent to me ... and so it made it into my 1995 photo album.

However, the rest of that story is a bit of mystery.

Clearly it was sent to me for the sign's proximity to my last name (it's spelled more authentically German than mine is, thanks to those screw-ups at Ellis Island [who still let my forebears into the country ... so, you know .. no offense or anything]).

And on the back, the person who sent it to me wrote Wein, Austria ... so I know it was someone whom I knew that was in Vienna two decades ago.  My best hunch is that it was one of my semester abroad classmates ... who maybe had returned to explore more of Europe and came across something that reminded them of me (because, you know, I'm memorable and all that).

Finally ... I don't know for sure exactly what these Neidermeyers were selling in their store (although a modern day google search turns up closed electronics stores with signs of the same color scheme).  If it were stateside, I'd feel more confident that it was chicken of some kind (the family business for the generations immediately before me).

Doesn't get much more random that that now, does it?

Random Thought for Thursday 12/10/15

I never know exactly what I'm going to find as I go through the on-demand documentaries on PBS, CNN, Al Jazeera, History and H2 (I've convinced myself that they are the yin to my reality show yang in my search for balance within my addiction to television).

So today it was 90 minutes about how someone stole the brain of Albert Einstein (see link below/to follow).  More mind-blowing though (half a pun, somewhat intended), was learning that Albert was the inspiration for Yoda AND for ET (as in the little alien who was trying so hard to phone home).

[Correction -- whilst searching for my companion links, it seems as if the ET creation was a mash up of Einstein, poet Carl Sandburg and a pug (and maybe also Ernest Hemmingway and a cat?).]

Kismetically (probably not a word ... but it is now!), I had this cut-out from one of the local bar rags in my posting queue (yes, I have a posting queue), so it seems like the perfect image to accompany tonight's post ... and some perfect credos for a life more intelligently lived.  (What I don't know for sure is whether these were taken from within the folds of his stolen brain, all fortune cookie style ...)

WHERE MY BRAIN AT?:
http://phenomena.nationalgeographic.com/2014/04/21/the-tragic-story-of-how-einsteins-brain-was-stolen-and-wasnt-even-special/

INSPIRATION FOR ME, ALBERT WAS, YES?:
http://www.neatorama.com/2008/09/10/6-things-inspired-by-einstein/

SPEAKING OF ET:
http://www.buzzfeed.com/briangalindo/20-fascinating-facts-about-et-the-extra-terrestrial#.liAWWDpkz

Random Wordplay for Wednesday 12/9/15

Réveillon (aka a Crescent City Christmas)

Used in a sentence:  "Today's my last day of work before a week long holiday vacation ... which will in turn feature a third trip to New Orleans and a first time to experience Réveillon (aka a Crescent City Christmas)."

So before *this* time next week, I'll have my own photo to share of the traditional multi-course feast (as opposed to this stock picture off of the old google images), in addition to getting to experience the sights and sounds that can only be unique to a holiday season in N'awlins.

So far, in addition to the fooding and the drinking, I know to check out the display at the Roosevelt and to catch a concert at the St. Louis Cathedral.  But if anyone else has knowledge of other must-sees or must-dos ... feel free to PM me on the Facebook!

FOLLOW MY JOY INDEED:
https://holiday.neworleansonline.com/

THE 2014 LISTING OF BEST REVELILLONS:
http://experience.usatoday.com/food-and-wine/story/new-orleans/2014/12/17/new-orleans-reveillon-dinners/20430771/

CRESCENT CITY CHRISTMAS TRADITIONS EXPLAINED:
http://gonola.com/2013/11/18/nola-history-celebrating-creole-reveillon-and-christmas-in-new-orleans.html

Random Tune for Tuesday 12/8/15

It's time.

For the SEVENTH year in a row, as 2015 draws to a close ... it's time for the annual Dead Celebrity Tune Trilogy.

In case you don't remember how it works, for three of the next six weeks (interspersed with the other ongoing series on Tune Tuesdays known as 'Discarded Cassettes'), I'll feature a song associated with a celebrity* who passed sometime in the year that is ending.

[*I reserve the right to define celebrity as I see fit.]

It seems like the perfect person to start things off this holiday season is one of the stars of 'Miracle on 34th Street' ... singing her version of a classic funereal dirge.  Here's 'Danny Boy', from she who lived to be 95, the late Maureen O'Hara!

THE PIPES, THE PIPES ARE CALLING (AKA SOMEBODY GET A PLUMBER!):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8r4DJOgrI3s

Random Memorial for Monday 12/7/15

Gone but not forgotten:  pillow fights at West Point.

In case you missed the story buried in the news over the holiday weekend, the future military leaders of West Point are no longer permitted to engage in pillow fighting.

And in case you missed the story behind the story, pillow fighting is a tradition for freshperson cadets ... or WAS a tradition ... until the current class got it a little twisted and weaponized their pillows, leading to reports of “4 concussions, 1 broken leg, 2 broken arms, 1 dislocated shoulder, and several broken ribs", according to an eye-witness tweet on the twitter.  Now what was never officially sanctioned but was permitted is officially banned.

This comes three years after the Air Force Academy cadets apparently took things a little too far in their annual "first shirt/first snow" tradition of throwing their sergeants into snowbanks and incited a mini-riot that injured thirty students.

Activity apparently designed to ensure that America is safe from all terrorists who infiltrate sleepovers and snowball fights ... you will be missed.

SNOWBALL BATTLE GONE WRONG:
http://usnews.nbcnews.com/_news/2012/11/02/14874390-nearly-30-air-force-academy-cadets-injured-as-ritual-turns-into-brawl?lite

PILLOW FIGHT GONE WRONG:
http://www.nytimes.com/2015/09/05/us/at-west-point-annual-pillow-fight-becomes-weaponized.html?_r=0

AND NOW TERRORISTS WILL INFILTRATE SLUMBER PARTIES:
http://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/west-point-bans-cadet-pillow-fights-after-30-injured-n470216

Random Scandal Sheet for Sunday 12/6/15

What southern Florida is talking about this week:

Hanukkah!  (Hannukah?  Chanukah?)

Admittedly, not everyone down here is Jewish ... but there is a substantial enough presence that even us non-Jews are fully aware that tonight's the night to light the first candle.

And. in particular, *I'm* keenly aware, because this household happens to watch "That Show with Joan Rivers" (Joan's first ever talk show), which can only be found on JLTV (Jewish Life Television) ... and so I get hip to all the Jewish goings-on (and yes, the stereotype is true ... there are a LOT of holidays, according to the crawl on the bottom of the screen).

Regardless, as a part of this ongoing holiday season, here's to a Happy Festival of Lights for those who celebrate!

THE LOCAL CANDLE LIGHTING CEREMONY:
http://www.floridajewish.com/candlelighting/fort_lauderdale.php

HOW I KEEP UP WITH ALL THINGS JEWISH:
http://www.jltv.tv/shows.php?id=77

CHRISTIANS CAN LIGHT CANDLES TOO!:
http://www.charismanews.com/opinion/standing-with-israel/46721-here-s-why-christians-should-celebrate-hanukkah

Random Soapbox for Saturday 12/5/15

I don't mean to go off on a rant here, but ...

... why can't we just accept the fact that we have a new possible answer to complete the phrase "as American as ..."?

Move over mom and apple pie.  Get thee behind me hot dogs and baseball.

The new American norm is the "active shooter situation".

Get your kids those bullet proof yoga mats they can hide under (see link below), arm yourself if you're so inclined to "stand your ground" as we do down here in Florida and, for Allah's sake, if "see something, say something".

As for me, I know myself well enough to know that I can't own a firearm, as I know I'd use it to shoot the penis off of the neighborhoodlum who took down a branch with the intent of poking it through the fence at our three legged dog to ensure that said idiot couldn't possibly procreate.  Or I'd go all Annie Oakley and learn a trick shot of blasting the cell phones out of the hands of distracted drivers.  Or I'd conceal and carry it any time I get on I-95 down here and risk everyone else's life since I'm already risking my own.

But you ... hey do what you want.  I'm okay with it.  Of course, I'm also not planning on leaving ye olde/new homestead ever again.

'Murica.

Gotta love it.

We don't need no stinkin' terrorists ... 'cause we can terrorize each other juuuust fine, thank you very much!

THE AFOREMENTIONED SCHOOLHOUSE NECESSITY FOR MODERN TIMES:
http://www.businessinsider.com/bodyguard-bulletproof-blanket-for-kids-2014-6

SPOILER ALERT ... WE CAN THANK THE PA DUTCH:
http://priceonomics.com/how-apple-pie-became-american/

ANNIE OAKLEY TRICKS ... COULD SHE SHOOT A CELL PHONE OUT OF A HAND?:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KJsuihZaHyI

Random Flashback for Friday 12/4/15

So ... I have already posted this photo before (on the Facebook, but not on the blog) ... 15 months ago when I was doing my 2014 birthday shtick of posting a photo of me with the person having the birthday.

But now it takes its rightful place on a Friday in a Flashback, because this reunion of people who were involved with Camp Kenbrook in Lebanon County happened in the winter of 1995, twenty years ago.

Various church camps played a role in my life ... from the summer one run by the Rescue Mission when I was oh so young ... to the summer AND winter ones run by Hebron Church where I was eventually both camper and counselor ... to the ones in western PA and Ohio where I went with my cousin to perform his plays ... and even the Gretna Glen cabins we took over in college for a theatre retreat or two.  But I think this may have been the only group that had an official reunion event (once, anyway).  Good times all around!

Random Thought for Thursday 12/3/15

Meanwhile ...

6281 days later ...

It's official!

(C)an't say any more right now, because I made a promise that that's a story better told in late 2018 ... but, hey ... it will soon be then before you know it.

I promise.

I do.

Random Wordplay for Wednesday 12/2/15

Wasichu.

Used in a sentence:  "I am cracker ... I am honky ... I am paleface ... I am whitey ... I am wasichu."

Or, at least, that's what *others* may call me.

Point being ... I was fully aware of all of the variety of derogatory terms for white folks, but wasichu was a new one.  It's possible that I was only exposed to it when I wrapped up the second (and final?) season of 'The Red Road' over on the Sundance channel.  A quick check on the interwebs provides alternate views as to whether it just means white man, or if it means "greedy white man who steals the fat", or if it stands for something else entirely.

Regardless, I expect to be driving round trip between Vegas and Phoenix come Super Bowl weekend, so I want to be fully informed in case I run into any angry native Americans by the side of the road, because, you know, my people did do a number on their people back in the day ... and I'm afraid the family rumor that I'm 1/16th native American might not be sufficient to get me off the hook for all the nasty smallpoxiness that happened.

They say ignorance is bliss ... but I say knowledge is power ... so, in my opinion, you gots to know when someone's making fun of you, yo!

WHITE MAN OR WHITE GREEDY MAN WHO STEALS THE FAT?:
http://www.native-languages.org/iaq20.htm

OR SOMETHING ELSE ENTIRELY?:
http://nativeamericantherealdeal.tribe.net/thread/966a01d6-adb4-47f8-b423-262f47166db0

SO THERE'S THIS "RESOURCE":
http://www.rsdb.org/

Random Tune for Tuesday 12/1/15

More authentic views of the trash can at ye old homestead ... which means more discarded cassettes ... and more Aerosmith (to continue the theme from just the other week).

Tonight's cassette going in the garbage (because the CD is also a part of my musical collection) is the mid-nineties greatest hits+ collection entitled 'Big Ones'.  (One can never accuse Steven Tyler and the boys of being subtle in their double entendre efforts.)

The reason for the + behind the word hits in the earlier sentence ... this collection included three songs not previously released.  And it's one of *those* that I'll feature tonight as I say goodbye to the designated music delivery channel device of my youth.

It doesn't necessarily provide me with any deeper meaning ... or enlighten my existence in any way in particular ... and if I can look the other way regarding some of the aforementioned double entendres that may mean this song is about "heading toward climax" with someone ... it surely is a fun one to crank up on a long drive and sing along ... about a "'Blind Man' ... who taught me how to see!"

BECAUSE A HERE COME THE SUN & WE'LL BE CHASING ALL THE CLOUDS AWAY:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B0JLFcbtqvs

Random Memorial for Monday 11/30/15

Gone but not forgotten:  the Sesame Street I used to know.

Over the weekend, more was revealed about the plans for Sesame Street now that it's moving to HBO.  I haven't had a chance to read the whole article yet, but I'm predicting the following:

Full frontal nudity will now prove how Big Bird got his nickname!

Bert and Ernie will finally be able to push their twin beds together and truly show their love (might a same-muppet marriage be a seasonal plot line?)!

Cookie Monster will go all Michael-Douglas-'Falling Down' when denied more cookies, reducing the number of the staff, saving money on the budget and ensuring viewers will watch week to week because "NOBODY is safe on the street"!

Elmo's tickling fetish will be fully explored as he tours various after-hours and swingers' clubs across the land!

And everyone will learn how ridiculously adorable it is to see lovable puppet creatures learn (and teach) enough swear words to fill up a Mamet play!

The non-premium channel version of the show that helped teach me a few things (back when that phrase meant "reading, writing and 'rithmetic"), you will be missed!

FOLLOW THE MONEY TRAIL:
http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/b-is-broke-why-sesame-816105

THE ACTUAL ANNOUNCED CHANGES:
http://www.dispatch.com/content/stories/life_and_entertainment/2015/11/28/1-sesame-street-revised-for-hbo.html

SESAME STREET HAS BEEN PORNED UP BEFORE:
http://www.pcworld.com/article/242009/sesame_street_hacked_porn_posted.html

Random Scandal Sheet for Sunday 11/29/15

What southern Florida is talking about this week ...

... the arrival of the latest Guinness product.

Full disclosure, this six pack was purchased *before* the recent blackout Wednesday bar crawl, so I haven't actually yet cracked one open, but I'm sure the occasion will arise soon enough.

For now, this follow up to what most recently came before (Guinness Red, Guinness Black and Guinness Blond) is staying cold in the refrigerator, but, being a brand loyalist as I am, I'm sure I'm going to appreciate the "hop-forward" drink with the "qualities of a classic Guinness pint" ... PLUS the nitrogen that comes from the patented widget found in regular draught cans.  (When I get really buzzed, I've been known to rip a can open with my bare hands to prove the existence of the tiny ball of magic [after which, I've then been known to pester the bartender for a band-aid or two to address my hand wounds].)

On a final note ... I've still not had the Guinness Red (released in Britain in the late aughts), so if anyone has it in their backstock, help a fella out and send one my way.  Until then ... nitro IPA it is!

WITH ALL MY LOYALTY, I SOMEHOW FORGOT TO SIGN UP FOR THE FAN CLUB!:
http://www.guinness.com/

A REVIEW OF THE NITRO:
https://www.thrillist.com/drink/nation/is-the-new-guinness-nitro-ipa-any-good

THE ELUSIVE GUINNESS RED (NOW RETIRED):
http://www.beeradvocate.com/beer/profile/209/98289/

Random Posting for Penn State 11/28/15

Here are 9 Nittany Nuggets from today's game:

1.)  Um ... ugh.
2.)  Um ... sorry Columbus.  Believe me, we're upset that we couldn't "upset".
3.)  This isn't sour grapes, but the *only* time that opposing coach cracked a smile is when he let that fat kid senior run in that touchdown.
4.)  This *also* isn't sour grapes, and I don't think I've ever been to East Lansing, but that Spartan statue better put on some weight if it's going to survive the winter.
5.)  I do not like the "scoop and score".  Just sayin'.
6.)  Despite today's outcome, congrats HACKENBERG on securing that last record (most TD passes) from MCGLOIN in today's game.
7.)  And if my hashmarks are correct, I do believe you kept the sacks *under* last year's total (just by a few).
8.)  Atta boy BARKLEY!  Can't wait until next year!
9.)  Hey announcerman Brock ... that Hasselback guy is married, so you can stop crushing on him so creepily.

In closing, thanks to everyone who supported the team this year ... and here's to our bowl game, whether in Nashville or California (or elsewhere)!

THE BOWL SCHEDULE:
http://www.fbschedules.com/ncaa/college-football-bowl-schedule.php

THE LATEST PREDICTIONS:
http://www.pennlive.com/pennstatefootball/index.ssf/2015/11/could_penn_state_get_more_2017.html

HAPPY THANKSGIVING WEEKEND!:
http://www.pennlive.com/sports/index.ssf/2015/11/watch_the_ultimate_penn_state.html

Random Soapbox for Saturday 11/28/15

I don't mean to go off on a rave here, but ...

... here's my FULL list of this year's season of gratitude (which I organized as a alphabetical listing, what with Thanksgiving being on the 26th this year):

ASBACH-URALT, the German brandy that I *first* had as a regular digestif at my host home for my semester abroad (1990), that I *next* had in the little brandy filled chocolate candies that I could only get at the Christkindlmarkt each year in downtown Chicago (2003-2013), and that I *finally* picked up again at the local liquor store in Ft. Lauderdale just last month (2015). I can't drink it and not be instantly transported back to a semester full of amazing people and activities from a quarter century ago ...

BACON, because it makes *everything* better, as evidenced by my frequent posts of how it's being used in my household from meal to meal (i.e the ‪#‎baconshallbe‬ and ‪#‎baconlesson‬ series). Stay tuned this upcoming Friday, when I'll be attending the second annual BACON BASH here in town that promises "unlimited, delicious, bacon-infused food tastings" from over 15 restaurants and food trucks. (I'm expecting it to be a preview of what heaven is like [for those religions for whom bacon is not banned, of course].)

CASANOVA JAMES, the American staffordshire pit bull puppy (mixed with American bulldog, so he's doubly American and bull-squared). One of the perks of the move from small apartment Chicago life to what I've called ye olde (new) households in Florida was being able to have the space to have dogs again (after all those cats), and Casanova was rescued from puppy-death-row and nursed back to health by a dedicated foster mother before his arrival, and he has brought his amazing playful and loving personality to the whole family -- including his patience and dedication to his "brother" Ozzie (another letter for another day).

 DUMBBELLS -- and I don't mean those of you who fill my Facebook feed [you know who you are], as that wouldn't be polite. I'm talking about the actual set of interchangeable weights I got one year for Christmas back in the early-nineties from my surrogate grandmother JoAnn. In the twenty years I've owned them, I've not always used them all the time, but they've been the basis for my exercise those times when I rally around that concept (as I've been doing for the last few months on my current weight-loss journey).

 ELECTIONS -- in all their modern day messiness. It may be that I'm obligated to say that, what with a Political Science degree (which, as you may know, doesn't necessarily lead to a career in the field ... but *does* ensure that you are always right in discussions of politics). Once upon a time, I thought I might run in one one day, but then I had a little too much fun in my 20's and 30's and now too many people know where the bodies are buried (that's a metaphor [or is it?]) so I can't pursue public office. Fast forward to today and that makes me just an armchair electioneer ... but it does give me joy to follow along on what really is America's secret to success (all cynicism aside).

FACEBOOK. True, it can be challenging ... and you have to learn to, like the Frozen kids say, "Let it go ..." for a majority of what you see on your feed, but when the Facebook glass is half full, it's a great way to follow along with those characters from the stories of your past to see where life is taking them in the present. Oh -- and to see what everyone's eating. That too.

GUINNESS. Why? Because, as its old timey advertising slogan once said, "It has restorative powers!" Or, as *I've* said multiple times, "It provides more buzz per unit!" Admittedly, before I found my Guinness (drinking at the old Eli's at the old Lebanon Plaza back in the old days), I sampled a few other favorites (Icehouse, followed by Red Dog, and then the old standby of Yuengling Lager), but it's the chocolatey goodness of my Guinness that really gets me going, and I'm especially thankful for any bar along the usual crawl that carries it!

HEALTH. Lookit, I'm at the age where my knees creak more than they should, and I'm suddenly able to read better up close *without* glasses (which makes me oddly incapable of reading with my current contacts), but those problems are easily managed (could bifocals be in my near future?), and each day on my current long term weight loss path makes me feel generally healthier -- AND I have the recent stats from my doctor to prove that it's working!

IMAGINATION. Agreed, it may be a little twisted (the tale is that I was writing short stories in 2nd grade on a mimeograph machine that included a cliffhanger with a garage that got blown up ... which concerned a few adults), but I keep feeding it and it keeps surprising me. I don't mind waking up in the middle of the night to go scribble ideas on an index card because my creative brain forgot to go to sleep ... or having the randomest of thoughts whilst in the shower or on a walk or during a drive. It's who I am ... and I like me as I am (although I do wonder whether I'm going to be the craziest of old men once I reach the age where I can't control it any more -- but that's not this year ...)

JOANN, my "surrogate" grandmother. She's no longer with us, but that doesn't mean I can't still be thankful for the time we did have together ... from when we first met during my stint in Uniontown early on in college, to the very end when I was a few states away but always made a point to visit every so often and talk on the phone weekly, and all the stops in between, including when she made the rare trip in to Amish country (she just loved her some Amish country). Just in case I didn't thank her enough for all she did for me while she was alive, she's my J for today AND she's a part of something special I'll be starting up *next* year (to be continued ...)

KAPLAN, my employer since 2004 (give or take a few months here and there). In my youth, I was a "job cobbler", in that I always cobbled together multiple part time jobs (as many as five at one time) in order to put myself through school and pay my bills once I started living on my own. After wrapping up my studies (and a diversion in a bank for two years in the post 9/11 job market), I finally landed at my career, found in an ad in the back of the Sunday paper (see how *old* I am!). It can be a struggle at times to be a "company man", but I wouldn't have it any other way ...

LISTS, my go-to task when it comes to organizing all my random thoughts. I think I've always been a bit of a list maker, but that behavior was endorsed once I got to see Judy Woodward's clipboard back in '89. For the longest time, my lists were kept in my little black book (not *that* little black book, although I think I do have that list somewhere locked up should I ever need to make money via blackmail) ... and only within the last few months did I migrate them to the notes on my somewhat-smart phone, where I now keep track of anything from my exercise plans ... to my vacation itineraries ... to where I need to go on vacation next ... to my random daily post ideas ... to my tasks ... to my ... well, you get the point ... you don't need to see a list of my lists ... you just need to know I'm thankful for being able to make so many of them!

MURDER ... a statement I should probably quickly clarify, since Murder is the name of the last surviving kitty from the cat years (aka ... the apartments-in-Chicago-are-too-small-to-have-dogs years). She joined the family with a littermate (Mystery), at around the time when the murder mysteries I wrote and performed throughout college were wrapping up. And she's still around, despite all her feline companions (Mauler, Baby and Mystery) having passed, waiting for the juice of tuna cans to be opened, luxuriating on her bed in the guest room (which has a gate to keep her brothers out that she can traverse at night when she runs the house), and marveling at her long life (and the places she's been).

NEIDERMYER. Oh sure ... my paternal line can blame Ellis Island officials for swapping the E and the I (it's pronounced *contrary* to the actual German rules of how to say EI versus IE), but the name has been associated with the best chicken for years (and celery and horseradish for the uncle who just had to be different and buck the family trend). And now that it was featured on 'The Walking Dead', a whole generation of folks will associate it with the desire for a post-apocalyptic pasta maker instead of thinking about the asshole from 'Animal House'. I still haven't given up completely on being a one name celebrity (you know, like Troy ... just Troy ...), but .. until then ...

OZZIE (more formally known as OCTAVIUS JULIUS), the second American staffordshire pit bull puppy to join the family down here in Florida. He was rescued by an agency because he was being given away for free on Craig's List since he was born with an all but missing front right leg (he has a single toe on the end of what we affectionately call his "wing") and the fear was that he might be used as a bait dog. He's a snuggler who is super fond of his brother CASANOVA, has a touch of extra anxiety about unexpected sounds and movements, and is committed to living his life without letting his condition be an obstacle. You can see and follow him and his brother at this link: https://www.facebook.com/thecasanovajames/?ref=hl

PENN STATE. Truth be told, I was officially a flying dutchmen and not a nittany lion when it comes to the origination of many of my student loans for my decade in education after high school, and the total of my trips to campus in State College may be less than double digits (most of them to attend concerts), and I may have only ever been to but ONE football game ... but as I've moved around the country in my adult life, it's been a way for me to feel connected with my central PA roots, by being able to root for the team on fall weekends. And *that* helps make a person feel grounded.

QUESTS of mine. Not that there's anything wrong with impossible dreams or unreachable stars, but I do try to keep my searches as unquixotic as possible ... so I've managed to get my feet into all of the Great Lakes but one (maybe Lake Ontario in Toronto next year?) ... and I'm almost halfway through having each of the 25 burgers in the country as listed in the Zagat guide of 2013 (when that particular quest started) ... and I've been to as many remaining Kaplan centers as I can during my travels ... and, when it's time, I'll launch a plan to get to all of the presidential libraries. It's all about the seeking to give a person a purpose ...

RACE, AMAZING. (Yes, I know I'm going old school library style with my alphabetizing, but if the 'R' fits ...) It is true that I haven't watched the race from the very beginning, but once the inimitable Bonnie Hunt promoted it on her eponymous talk show, I knew it was something that I'd like. And like it I have, season after season, partially because it lets me travel the amazing world vicariously through others, but also because it is an amazing study of relationships and because, on the aggregate, it appears to be documented proof with regards to the amazing power of the karma AND because it has taught me that I will have better luck dealing with cabs in foreign countries rather than cabs here in America -- a fact I find amazing (uber anyone?) ...

SUN. Not in some ancient Egyptian "all hail 'Ra'" kind of way ... and not in some irresponsible way (I recently resumed my annual check-up at a dermatologist in light of how mole-y my people are) ... but in a "like Kal-El, I get energized" by living in a land of near constant sun as I now do, and besides, I look better with a bit of color (and also confuse more people then who think I've an ethnicity...)

TRAVEL, because, in my middle age, it's really what excites me -- new towns to see, new places to go, new people to meet. Or, as the case may be, returning to locations with new itineraries to more fully explore them. Assuming all goes well, just in the next year, there are plans to get to New Orleans in December, Phoenix and Vegas next February, Chicago next May, Toronto next August and up the eastern coast all the way to central PA next October -- each trip with a growing list of "must-sees" and "must-dos".

UNKNOWNS in my life. Fond as I am of my routines ... and of the simple day to day things in my life ... it is a life of past pleasant surprises that have helped me understand that change brings about new opportunities to go down new paths and to meet new people. Here's to being able to embrace what's coming around the bend, whenever it may arrive and whatever it may be.

VISITORS who make the trek down here to paradise to stop in and say hello -- whether it be former college classmates or family -- it's always nice to get together, hang out with the puppies, head out to eat on the town and seek out fun things to do in the area. Just be sure to give a heads up before you arrive because there's only one guest bed (which you have to share with the cat)!

WOODWARDS and the WHITMANS. Some people get stuck with just one family ... but the circumstances of my life were that I got to have extra people looking out for me over the years (including, but not limited to) my two bonus W families. Within the last year, there have been weddings and births and celebrations of folks nearly turning 100 between the two sets of them, and even I don't get to see them as often, I couldn't be more grateful that my family tree has a most unique appearance!

XFINITY. To be clear, I'm not celebrating them for their excellent customer service (as that they don't have), but I am a television addict ... and, between their DVR and their on-demand, they do allow me to manage my addiction *so* much more efficiently than the old days of hundreds of VCR tapes ... and multiple VCRs ... so here's to innovation for TV junkies like me!

YOU ... yes, YOU ... YOU who might be reading this. YOU who might just be scrolling by and saying "oh another one of those posts from Troy". YOU who might have already muted me because you don't get me. But most importantly, YOU who are my connection on the Facebook because YOU appeared in the story of my life, be it for a sentence or a page or a chapter or a multi-chapter arc. Thank YOU for being YOU. And happy Thanksgiving eve to YOU and yours from me and mine!

ZZZZs. Maybe it's taking inspiration from the puppies and the kitty ... or perhaps it's about the tryptophan ... or likely it's related to the bar crawl from last night, but I do so like me a nap on holiday afternoons!

WHO DOESN'T LIKE A COUNTDOWN/RANKING?:
http://www.movemequotes.com/top-50-be-thankful-quotes/

WHO DOESN'T LIKE A LIST?:
http://www.popsugar.com/latina/Mindful-Ways-Give-Thanks-39189891

WHO DOESN'T WANT THANKSGIVING TO LAST ALL YEAR?:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/stephanie-sarkis-phd/being-thankful-tips_b_1104194.html