Random Scandal Sheet for Sunday 3/31/13

What Chicago is talking about this week:

Which bar/restaurant/public pissing place is going to step up and duplicate what Allentown PA has done by installing video games above the urinals in the boys room that are controlled by urine-stream?

I always thought that ladies rooms were special.  Not because I would sneak into any or anything -- but because I just got that feeling that "powder" rooms had lots of mirrors and special lighting and extra seating and live flowers and fragrant women's hygiene products that wafted in the latrine air like walking through a field of daisies (maybe I've thought about this too much?).

But now we have something that they don't -- well for those of us who aren't pee-shy or suffering from weak stream (although I've seen TV ads that imply streams can be strengthened nowadays through the miracle of modern medicine).  And as excited as I am about the possibilities here (warning -- this is probably an "over-share"), I fear I would not do well at these games -- mostly because the video game phenomenon just passed me by but also because my urethra sends the beginning of my liquid waste output in two different directions until the lines come together like firefighters focusing on putting out a blaze.

However, I still want to try.  Chitown needs this now.  Even before we solve the violence problem.  Someone step up!

I WANT TO GO THERE:
http://www.usnews.com/news/articles/2013/03/26/minor-league-baseball-team-to-debut-urinal-video-games

BOOST YOUR FLOW BEFORE TAKING ON THE GAME (IS THIS DOPING?):
http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/003143.htm

THIS IS HOW I PICTURE A LADIES ROOM:
http://www.yelp.com/biz_photos/bouley-new-york-2?select=Jv7YGLqD9FrWOWmsZ8HTAw&start=100#Jv7YGLqD9FrWOWmsZ8HTAw

Random Soapbox for Saturday 3/30/13

I don't mean to go off on a rant here, but ...

... I like to have a tactile experience when I read my magazines -- and digital is not going to cut it.

I know kids nowadays would say that moving one finger up or down or to the right or left on a screen is their version of a tactile experience, but I'm old school.  I want to turn the page, not have a pseudo-page-turning experience brought to me by the smart minds at a tech company.  I want to rip out an article to reference later -- or clip a new restaurant to put on the frig.  I want to throw something out when I'm done with it to feel like I accomplished the task I set out to do.

And don't get me started on those crafty people who turn books into art to hang on the wall.  They do so by sacrificing multiple pages that they fold into shapes and then they affix the whole monstrosity to the wall at an angle that makes it impossible to read.  I know that they don't recognize it at the Hague quite yet -- but it's a bibliocide of epic proportions, thousands and thousands of words senselessly slaughtered, never to be strung together to tell a story evermore.

So what's the genesis of this got-my-goat moment?  Now that TimeOutChicago has gone through a "change" that will take it off the presses and on to the interwebs exclusively, I'm upset.  Maybe one can approximate those experiences online, but that's not good enough for me.  Can someone please stop the future from happening so soon to little old me?  Don't stop the hard physical copies of that which I like to read!

THE GENESIS OF THIS GOT-MY-GOAT MOMENT:
http://www.chicagoreader.com/Bleader/archives/2013/03/21/time-out-chicago-goes-strictly-digital-and-the-reader

SENSELESS SLAUGHTER FOR THE SAKE OF ART:
http://pinterest.com/peachykeen817/crafts-with-book-pages/

GOING DIGITAL DOESN'T GUARANTEE SURVIVAL:
http://www.foliomag.com/2013/all-good-print-magazines-go-digital-heaven-or-do-they#.UVorPaK-lDQ

Amazing Race Aside S22E6

So just to be clear to all the racers ... Maun is in Botswana (and not everywhere else suggested while waiting to get in the door of the travel agency).  And with that established, here we go with my thoughts on this past week's episode:

PITHIEST COMMENT OF THE NIGHT:  "This is like Sesame Street on crack!"  (I mean Bushmen sucking on the tiny head of things is kind of like that bad press that "Elmo" got, right?  What -- too soon for a Mr. Clash reference?)

HOW DO THEY DO THAT?  BEHIND-THE- SCENES REQUEST:  Producers -- did you make the Bushwomen put on all those matching burlap sacks to avert any more controversy this season?  (I'm sure those who freaked out last week might have gone ballistic over some nip-slips. What -- too soon for a Ms. Jackson reference?)

IMAGE I WON'T SOON FORGET:  That Botswanan landing strip for the tiny plane made me think of that Jim Jones cult documentary I had seen -- even if it is an ocean away from Jonestown, Guyana on a different continent.  (At least this had a happier ending.  What -- too soon for a Mr. Jones reference?)

LET ME JUST SAY THIS:  It's apparently not too soon for the apology that was offered (although I'm still a little surprised at the still-open-wounds it references) ... "Parts of last Sunday's episode, filmed in Vietnam, were insensitive to a group that is very important to us:  our nation's veterans.  We want to apologize to veterans -- particularly those who served in Vietnam -- as well as to their families and any viewers who were offended by the broadcast.  All of us here have the most profound respect for the men and women who fight for our country."  If nothing else, I join them in the last sentence.

[evaluate NatGeo's take on scorpions-in-the-mouth here:  http://newswatch.nationalgeographic.com/2013/03/27/why-did-the-bushman-put-a-scorpion-in-his-mouth-on-the-amazing-race/]

Random Flashback for Friday 3/29/13

This is the best restaurant in Uniontown -- or at least it was twenty years ago back in 1993, when I worked there with these fine folks (and many many more who are not in this photo which was taken right past the door into the kitchen -- behind me was the big cooler filled with Olive's pies).

And oh the fun I had at the Cherry Tree Cafe from Dec 92 to Aug 93.  Last year, during my 100 Things I've Always Wanted To Say But Never Did And Now Maybe Should Since The World Might Be Ending series, I dedicated Thing 70 exclusively to memories of the food and the people and the activities outside of work with those people (just search "cherry tree" on the blog thanks to the power of google-driven search on it to see my references to Scott "Thunder" and steak fries and Tuesday night chicken-and-biscuits and joining the local high school senior class for drinking activities as I had just turned 21).

I've got a few more photos flashing back on Fridays this summer to this group from twenty years ago, but in my long list of jobs I had during the long time I was in college, this was definitely one of the most enjoyable (and the one that would have made a perfect docuseries on TLC had that only been the trend back in the day) ...

Random Thought for Thursday 3/28/13

ODE TO 50 MILLILITERS

Little tiny liquor bottles.

Why you so cute ... 

Yet so easily associated with alcoholics?

Oh yeah -- and Happy Maundy Thursday to those who celebrate!

[What -- don't think those things go together?  Remember -- alcohol was a big part of the last supper, eucharistically.  And he was a guy who turned water into it when an earlier family get-together was at risk of getting too dull.  Just sayin' ...]

I COULDN'T TAKE MY OWN PIC AS THESE ARE ILLEGAL IN CHITOWN:
http://articles.chicagotribune.com/2002-08-05/news/0208050152_1_liquor-bottles-stores-and-taverns

OOH ... FOR THE CRAFTY FOLK:
http://www.etsy.com/market/Small_Liquor_Bottle?ref=listing_tag

AHEM ... JUST SAYIN':
http://www.aa.org/lang/en/subpage.cfm?page=28

Random Wordplay for Wednesday 3/27/13

I work better in people's past, always have.

Used in a sentence:  "Says Ryan to Claire in the season premier of The Following, 'I work better in people's past, always have.'"

Full disclosure -- I have no idea what else Ryan said to Claire, as the show was crossed off my TV list (yes, I'm a TV addict, but I'm trying to control my habit) ... but fuller disclosure -- I loved that quote when I heard it.

Under a certain examination, it's a bid sad.  But I embrace that spirit in my life.  Give me new experiences, new places, new people -- life's short enough as it is to get stuck in a place where you've nothing more to learn.  But still celebrate the past (that's what I do -- with memories and photos and "talismans" and collections).

It's times like these where I just want to fast forward to the days writing on a beach in warm environs, surrounded by good friends and loved ones and some alcohol and six-toed cats (Hemmingway much?), content reliving all that I've done, recounting stories of where I've been, recalling lives in which I had the privilege to be a part ...  (is this what happens in mid-life -- one gets "retirement envy"?) ...

THANKS SHIPPERS, FOR AFFIRMING MY MEMORY OF THE QUOTE:
http://www.fanforum.com/f404/ryan-%E2%99%A5-claire-1-~-dont-go-i-dont-trust-anyone-but-you-63083916/

FOR MY END OF DAYS (MAY THEY COME SOON AND BE FOR MANY OF THEM):
http://www.hemingwayhome.com/cats/

RETIREMENT ENVY COMES UP IN A GOOGLE SEARCH:
http://www.govexec.com/magazine-advice-and-dissent/magazine-advice-and-dissent-outlook/2007/03/retirement-envy/23964/

Random Tune for Tuesday 3/26/13

If I had the skillz, I'd place a reddish hue over the image to keep up with the spirit of the FB today.

If this were yesterday, I'd be randomly memorializing the original performer of this song, who passed on March 1.

And if I were updating the tune for modern times and singing about a thing called love in front of the SCOTUS, I might sing about the birds and the bees and the buffaloes and the elephants and the wallabies and the dolphins and the bisons and the antelope and the lions and the mouflons and the gazelles and the foxes and the seals and the squirrels and the whales and the wolves and the bears and the monkeys and the horses and the rabbits and the guinea pigs and the sea lions and the kangaroos and the giraffes ... and the other hundreds of other mammals (thanks Wiki!) that have been recorded exhibiting the love that dare not speak its name (and no, Rick S, I'm not referencing bestiality)!

And the greatest of these is love ...

IT'S TIME YOU LEARNED ABOUT THE FACTS OF LIFE:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=umyl-wWRkJ4

Random Memorial for Monday 3/25/13

Gone but not forgotten (no, really!):  my years spent in law school.

So you may have seen my end of 2012 special series called "100 Things I've Always Wanted To Say But Never Did And Now Maybe Should Since The World Might Be Ending".  If you didn't, I let the supposed Mayan apocalypse serve as an artistic muse to provide me with a bit of reflection on where I've been, who I've met, what I've done -- and it was all couched in the idea that I was finally saying things that maybe I had never done.

Upon reflection, it turns out that not a single one of those hundred items referenced my time spent at Widener University School of Law in Harrisburg.  I'm not sure why those years were "blocked" from consciousness during my project -- maybe it was the amount of money I loaned to complete the task?  Or the fact that I actually left halfway through to pursue another degree at my undergrad alma-mater, returning after that break to buckle down and secure my JD (if there's one thing I like more than surprising people, it's proving them wrong when they think I'm "down for the count")?  Or that I did the night program and didn't really connect with many of my classmates?  Or that I skipped my graduation ceremony because I graduated in the off-semester and was already embarking on the move to Chicago, asking them to just mail me my degree to that new address?  Or that my writing style just didn't mesh with the way I was supposed to be writing to be successful in law school (IRAC anyone)?

I'm just not sure ... but my memories of days in the library and nights in the classrooms and afternoons sometimes spent outside on the benches trying to study and many times making the oh-so-frequent trips to the vending machines across the path that separated the buildings... and my thanks to Dean Fruth for helping me to get back on track after my study sabbatical ... and my authentically enjoyable classroom sessions with my favorite professors Kearney and Raeker-Jordan and Meadows and Dernbach ... although all of that was missed in my end-of-world ruminations, know that when it comes to the accounting of all that has made me who I am today, those things will ultimately not be missed (therein).  [I added that last word to sound more legal.]

SO I MAY NOT SAY IT ENOUGH, BUT I DID APPRECIATE MY TIME HERE:
https://law.widener.edu/

THAT'S RIGHT -- A JD DOESN'T ALWAYS MEAN A CAREER IN LAW:
http://www.forbes.com/sites/reneesylvestrewilliams/2012/11/22/nine-jobs-you-can-do-with-a-law-degree/

I AM A SMALL PART OF THE ONE TRILLION (BUT IT'S BIG FOR ME):
http://studentdebtcrisis.org/

Random Scandal Sheet for Sunday 3/24/13

What Chicago is talking about this week:

The messy messy messy situation regarding school closings -- 61 of them from this original list of 129 (which was, itself, once a list of 330) at the end of the school year to address a budget shortfall (according to the numbers, over 140 schools are "half-empty").  I can't pretend to have answers, but I do have some questions:

Why do they continue to let the curiously coiffed Karen Lewis in front of the microphone as I don't think anyone takes her seriously since she bullied Arne over his lisp earlier in her tenure whilst representing all that it supposed to be right and true and noble about Chicago teachers?  (And that's not a dig against dreadlocks, but about her choice to style said dreadlocks in a medusa-esque way.)

Why doesn't Rahm have staff that do the walk-and-talk made famous by the West Wing who would have discussed that announcing the closure of public schools, mostly in economically blighted 'hoods full of poor folk, over the same weekend that he takes his private school taught children on a spring break skiing trip would not be the best timing for delivering the news?  (And that's a not a knock against rich people and private schools and skiing, but about appearing insensitive to those who have no choices in life as they have no cash -- since every news story made a point to reference that the mayor was unavailable for comment as he was on the slopes without any personal stakes in the matter.)

Why doesn't someone focus on the paradox of spending money to save money?  Rumor has it that it will cost a billion to save a billion -- which seems short-sighted at the outset.  However, perhaps these same numbers analyzed a few years out might lead to a different long-term view that starts to make more sense. (And that's not doubt over the veracity of those numbers -- the source is the Teachers' Union website, representing those with a lot of "skin in this game" -- but a call to take the somewhat un-American view of austerity over instant gratification.)

What's going to happen to all that real estate?  Most of these are in blighted neighborhoods (one alderman has already stated that we've now created "school deserts" in the same places that have to deal with "food deserts"),  Are we going to tear down the buildings so that we'll start looking like Detroit which is returning to its formerly agrarian state?  Or maybe rent them out to entertainment companies to film in?  (And that's not an overwhelmingly far-fetched idea, but a possible twist for the Walking Dead to have the Guv'nor drive the survivors all the way to Chicago to swap abandoned prison digs for a network of abandoned elementary schools -- I can just see the existential crisis of annihilating hordes of tiny kiddie zombies mixed in with lunch lady walkers, hairnets and all.)

How are we going to handle the first school-closure related death?  Because here's the messiest mess of them all.  For parents who live in these locales, it might be a life and death situation because school closings and consolidations may not have factored in established gangland territories, so Shanequa and Jorge Doe might actually be collateral caught in the crossfire because they aren't wearing the right colors or responding to the right flashing of hand signals while on their way to show and tell.  (And that's not a racist reinterpretation of John and Jane Doe, but a nod to the fact that those most affected by these closing are predominantly African-American and Latino populations.)

Messy ... messy ... messy.  I just hope that calmer heads prevail, that community leadership bands together to fix the other issues at play, and that we somehow find a way out of this morass with the education of the upcoming generation being priority number one.

A LINK TO THE FINAL LIST OF CLOSINGS:
http://articles.chicagotribune.com/2013-03-21/news/chi-chicago-public-school-closings-20130321_1_school-buildings-closure-district-officials

A LINK TO THE SOURCE OF SPEND A BILLION TO SAVE A BILLION:
http://www.ctunet.com/blog

A LINK TO THE CPS PERSPECTIVE ON "QUALITY" (CUE PIRSIG DISCUSSION):
http://www.cps.edu/qualityschools/Pages/qualityschools.aspx

Random Soapbox for Saturday 3/23/13

I don't mean to go off on a rant here, but ...

... I had fully intended to devote my weekly diatribe to those darn televisions that popped up on gas pumps.  I mean I've said before that I'm a TV addict, but I don't think they need to be absolutely everywhere.  (Although the year they added them to the lines at Hersheypark -- that innovation I did agree with, except they stopped using them not that long after installation.)  Full disclosure -- I'm just bitter because I got wrapped up in watching one the other day and inadvertently filled up the tank instead of stopping at $20 as I had intended.

But then along came Rihanna and her dickish move yesterday here in Chicago.  (That word's not gender specific, right?  One can be dickish even if one doesn't have that appendage, no?)  And I'm not talking about her questionable behavior returning to her abuser (I know love is a strange emotion that leads many to strange actions), but the fact that she showed up 4-5 hours late to greet the students at a suburb school who had won a contest she sponsored.  Perhaps getting off "island time" is a hard thing to do or maintaining an "I don't care about you" attitude perpetuates the hard image she's trying to cultivate, but no matter which defense you try to offer -- rude is just rude.

Not to be lost in the story -- these students won said contest which was about submitting a video of their volunteer efforts.  So instead of suggesting that Chicago have another record burning event like the Disco Demolition at Comiskey in '79 (although with digital music being so prevalent, I'm not even sure reviving that event would be possible), let's just focus on all the good that those students did (which included "assisting tornado victims in Joplin, MO, and Native Americans who live on a reservation in SD", as described in the first article below).  So shame on your Rihanna (your paramour's general jack-douchery is apparently rubbing off on you -- so stay away from Frank Ocean in bars) and bully (in the good old fashioned Teddy Roosevelt sense of the word, not the modern day epidemic ever present in school society) bully for Barrington high school students and their charitable work.

RUDE RIHANNA RUDE:
http://articles.chicagotribune.com/2013-03-23/news/chi-rihanna-barrington-high-school-20130322_1_rihanna-pop-star-barbadian

I'VE SAID IT BEFORE -- THERE'S A FACEBOOK COMPONENT FOR EVERYTHING:
http://www.facebook.com/pages/rihanna-is-rude/122262424481403

JUST SAYING:
http://www.avhotline.org/

Random Flashback for Friday 3/22/13

Let me start by saying that this is an authentic Polaroid picture (but the scanner didn't pick up the white stripe on the bottom) ... so ... Instagram ... you can suck it.

Let me continue by saying that you should be careful about drawing conclusions -- as although this is a Hills Department Store (Hills -- RIP), this is the one that was located in Uniontown PA (as that's where I was located twenty years ago in 1993).  [I'm not sure if I have any more pics of this favored place of employment of my youth coming up in this series -- but I worked there from June 92 to May 93 and in my hometown of Lebanon PA from May 91 to May 92, Aug 93 to Jun 95 and Nov 97 to Aug 98.]

These things have changed -- the acid wash jeans haven't come back around to be in style (I don't think) ... the Barney dinosaur's popularity has been supplanted by something hotter I'm sure (what is it now -- the Wiggles?) ... layaway, as a concept, almost died, but returned courtesy of the Great Recession ... that hat is still in storage somewhere, which is where it landed when I quite literally wore it out (holes and dirty head marks and all)... and I haven't worn a watch since the cell phone started going with me everywhere I went ... not to mention the fact that I don't have quite as much hair on the top of my head as I did back then.

What hasn't changed -- I still pound the coca-cola (now just one a day to try to get a hold of my weight gain) -- and I still can't resist smilin' all goofy-like when someone points a camera my way.

Random Thought for Thursday 3/21/13

You Can't Deny You've Hit 40 When ...

... you are shocked to discover that Maury Povich is 74 years old.

I work from home, which means I put the local news on in the afternoon -- and if I'm not fast enough, occasionally I get to see a bit of Maury.  From the little I've seen, about 80% of the time he's providing paternity proving services to trailer folk and urban 'hoods everywhere (okay, okay -- I know I'm perpetuating a stereotype -- but some stereotypes begin as a kernel of truth -- and, besides, it's nice to know that "who's your daddy" storylines exist outside of soap operas) ... but 74?  Really?  Are so many of my generation's "national treasures" so close to expiration?  [Note -- I do wish you many more years, Maury, contrary to the way that might sound.]

THE TV GUIDE BIO:
http://www.tvguide.com/celebrities/maury-povich/bio/195236

JUST IN CASE YOU'RE LOOKING TO PROVE A PATERNITY OR TWELVE:
http://www.mauryshow.com/

FOUND THIS WHILE GOOGLING -- THOUGHT IT MIGHT REDEEM MY SNARK:
http://www.poetryfoundation.org/poem/172055

Random Wordplay for Wednesday 3/20/13

Meat Thieves.

Used in a sentence:  "Must be a sign of the times, but now I have to add Meat Thieves to the current trend of Copper Thieves and Fake Real Hair Thieves when it comes to crime-watching."

Lock your freezers!

I've come to learn that copper is so desired that criminals will steal the grounding from the electric poles in the back alley (I learned that when I fought with ATandT over the constant interruption that happened to my internet every time the elevated train went by) ... and that fake real hair is apparently super expensive if sold on the black market (pun pretty much definitely intended) ... but now high priced cuts of meat are frequently targeted items (see more at the link below).

Oh if only these darn recessionary times were over already.

(Note:  An apology in advance if the image above is obscene in anyway.  I think that might have been the intent of the "artist".)

TEE-HEE ... OPERATION MEAT LOCKER:
http://usatoday30.usatoday.com/news/nation/2011-08-06-meat-thieves-restaurants_n.htm

TEE-HEE ... HIDE YO' WEAVE:
http://www.clutchmagonline.com/2011/05/hide-yo-weave-human-hair-extension-theft-on-the-rise/

NOT A TEE-HEE ... ILLINOIS IS IN THE TOP FIVE:
http://www.insurancenetworking.com/news/insurance-claims-copper-theft-technology-30033-1.html

Amazing Race Aside S22E5

I believe this photo is an attempt to catch them giving  their look of "fiery righteousness", but if anything needs a Meme or a Gif or whatever those crazy kids create for the internet nowadays, the two seconds they gave to the camera during the episode would be it.  That said, here's my Amazing Race Aside for the fifth episode ...

PITHIEST COMMENT OF THE NIGHT:  With apologies for the fact that I don't have the traditional symbols ... "vinh quang thay the he thanh nien chung ta"!

HOW DO THEY DO THAT?  BEHIND-THE-SCENES REQUEST:  Maybe not so much a request than pointing out a missed opportunity -- but come on producers, couldn't you have gotten the B-52's to be performing in the background of the B-52 memorial?

IMAGE I WON'T SOON FORGET:  Beyond the moped madness or the aforementioned look of fiery righteousness, I'd have to say that I was surprised that the young Viet socialist performing kids all shared the look of local Chi-town hipsters.  So it looks like we've exported THAT phenomenon now!

LET ME JUST SAY THIS:  If everyone joins together to fight the alliance because alliances are bad -- then you've just created a second de-facto alliance.  Can't we just play the game with individual integrity and stop this clique-iness?  I know it works for other shows -- but keep it out of this one, please!

[watch Viet-hipster kids sing longingly for socialism in springtime here:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Kz0zuktplk]

Random Tune for Tuesday 3/19/13

This image will give it away, for those who know their crustaceans.

But the song in my head today (quite possibly put there by the latest Amazing Race episode -- see that post in a moment) was a song I first heard at one of the LVC cast parties back in the day.  I'm not sure if it was the same one where we imitated Billy Joel in the We Didn't Start the Fire video and tipped over the table way before housewives were doing it, but it was definitely one of the ones at the Lebanon Knights of Columbus building.

And, of course, the song wasn't all I learned when I heard it -- as there's a thrashing about on the floor type dance that is expected for this B-52's classic.  I couldn't be more excited to have found said classic remixed on the youtube with interstitial clips of the classic Batman series of my youth (watch Batman and the Joker go surfing)!

DOWN ... DOWN ... DOWN:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oqcYH_A7feA

Random Memorial for Monday 3/18/13

Gone but not forgotten:  2014 Wold Cup adjacent prostitutional transactions that aren't in English.

Sometimes I worry that I only find negative news stories for my posts.  But, today, I reverse that trend with something behind which we all can throw our support.  Look at these themes -- international recognition that English is the language of "love", tremendous foresight when it comes to event planning and (non-snarkily), increasing the skill set of those engaged in the oldest profession (which, I should point out, is legal in Brazil) so that they can negotiate appropriately and defend themselves against their customers as needed.

See more at the links, but just know that Brazilian prostitutes are learning English before the 2014 World Cup.  I was unable to locate a copy of the vocab quizzes, but I imagine they are not something I would have seen in my high school Word Wealth lessons.

The task of having to research on the internet such phrases like "pagar por sexo" before World Cup-ping next year, you will not be missed. (Well -- you will not be missed by those who plan to World Cup.  Or, more appropriately, by those who plan to World Cup next year.  Or, even more precisely, by those who plan to World Cup next year and to engage in sexual transactions with the local pretties.)

I DON'T KNOW WHY, BUT THE HEADLINE SURE CAUGHT MY EYE:
http://newsfeed.time.com/2013/01/10/brazilian-prostitutes-learning-english-before-2014-world-cup/

PROTECTION FOR SEX WORKERS IS NOT SO MUCH A LAUGHING MATTER:
http://www.iusw.org/

NOW YOU NO LONGER NEED THIS SITE TO PLAN YOUR EXTRA-CURRICULARS:
http://translation.babylon.com/english/to-portuguese/

Random Scandal Sheet for Sunday 3/17/13

What Chicago is talking about this week:

Babies as Collateral Damage.

If you're looking for something less tragic, then you should pass this post by.  Of course, in so doing, you'll be exhibiting the behavior of so many who have taken to hand-wringing and teeth-gnashing as the extent of "leadership" on the issue of overwhelming violence in certain neighborhoods in Chicago.

This six month old baby -- Jonylah Watkins -- died this week after being shot while her diaper was being changed in a vehicle by her father (who apparently was the true target).  It was a crime filled neighborhood (which, for some, is enough to discount it as par-for-the-crime-filled-'hood-course and it was most likely gang related and targeted as opposed to random (although there is some spin going on as to whether the target was an "active" gang member or just someone who had a crime-filled past).

I can't look in this child's face and callously conclude that the sins of the father shall be paid upon the offspring.  Here's what I think -- start the clock toward a deadline for the leadership in the community to fix itself in conjunction with city resources and then, for the sake of all those caught in the crossfire who will mark the ticks of the countdown clock I'm proposing (exhibit A -- the photo above), call in the f*%$ing National Guard (a desperate development for sure -- but these are desperate and desolate times).

IF NOT THIS, THEN WILL ANYTHING EVER PROVOKE ACTION:
http://abcnews.go.com/US/chicago-baby-jonylah-watkins-dead-shot-times/story?id=18710150

POSSIBLE SPIN -- NOT "ACTIVE", BUT MAYBE A "RETIRED" CRIMINAL:
http://abcnews.go.com/US/father-murdered-baby-jonylah-gang-member-spokesman/story?id=18719594

WHY IT MIGHT GET WORSE BEFORE IT GETS BETTER:
http://www.complex.com/city-guide/2013/02/10-reasons-chicagos-murder-rate-rising/

Random Soapbox for Saturday 3/16/13

I don't mean to go off on a rant here, but ...

... I'm not so fond of these maybe-you-stop-maybe-you-don't stop signs that are starting to pop up around Chicago.

Apparently, it's to reinforce the law that pedestrians in crosswalks always have the right of way -- but here's what I've observed.  People see the small red STOP sign and instinctively STOP (look, for must of us, it's a reflexive muscle-memory type thing), and for those few who understand that STOP actually means GO in this case (unless pedestrians are within the crosswalk, as the rest of the instructions state) and who happen to be behind those cars that are instinctively STOPping, what ensues is frustration, nearly bumped bumpers and almost accidents.

Further making me suspicious -- these signs are popping up on the streets with all of the bars, which seems like we're over-protecting drunken pedestrians while we create this confusion (not to get all "eugenical", but drunks who step out in traffic and don't end up making it all the way across the street are kind of thinning the evolutionary herd in a way I don't necessarily mind).

Bottom line -- law or no law, the pedestrian needs to have the ultimate accountability in these situations ("these situations" defined as the interaction between person and multi-ton machinery) just as its the toreador is who is to blame if he or she is not prepared for an angry bull (anyone know -- do female matadors have their own gender-friendly word?).  That kind of personal accountability would obviate the need for these STOP-MEANS-GO signs once and for all (and all kinds of other governmental intrusion -- hey, ma, look at me -- I'm turning libertarian!).

LOOKS LIKE IT'S A "MATADORAS":
http://www.npr.org/2011/03/17/134623159/for-matadora-bullfighting-is-her-absolute-truth

SO MAYBE I SHOULD JUST CHILL AS THIS IS IN RESPONSE TO 50 DEATHS:
http://www.cityofchicago.org/city/en/depts/cdot/provdrs/ped/news/2012/jul/cdot_installs_stopforpedestrianssignsatcrosswalks.html

CUTE KITTY I FOUND WHEN GOOGLE SEARCHING "WHEN STOP MEANS GO":
http://www.cityofchicago.org/city/en/depts/cdot/provdrs/ped/news/2012/jul/cdot_installs_stopforpedestrianssignsatcrosswalks.html

Random Flashback for Friday 3/15/13

This was my fifth and final prom.

It's not that I was so suave per se (although check out the red/black combo in the tux -- and the sunglasses), but that I was a late bloomer.  I don't think I went to any dances in high school, so a few proms in the time frame after my I ran away and gained my independence was just my way of "catching up".

And this one came about in 1993 because my regular customers at the Cherry Tree Cafe (where I was waiting tables while doing my theater internship in Uniontown -- because, after all, being a server is a key part of a young actor's life) hooked me up with their babysitter.

Sadly, I don't remember her name (I remember the other four -- hey Leslie, Becki, Jodi and Kristi and I think, maybe, her name was Samantha?), but I do remember that the event was at the Summit Inn overlooking the valley (a location where we had done our murder mysteries the year before) and that I borrowed a giant Cadillac (from you, Marianne G, right?) and that I locked the keys in the car with the engine running in the parking lot (for which I think Charlie B was sent up the mountain with a set of spare keys).

I took that embarrassment as a sign that I was to get out of the prom game, and that's what I did (although I was back in a tux later that summer for another reason -- pics to come this August)!

Random Thought for Thursday 3/14/13

Here's how ignorant I am of basketball.

I saw in the news a while ago that the Hornets will be henceforth known as the Pelicans.  Intrigued, as I had no idea from whence Pelicans nee Hornets came, I've now discovered that the Los Angeles Lakers are named for the lakes of Minnesota, that the Utah Jazz are named for the music scene of New Orleans, that the Memphis Grizzlies are all about the bears that populate the Vancouver area -- and that the Charlotte Bobcats might want their original name of Hornets back now that it will be up for grabs again.

My goal is to visit NOLA in Feb 2014, so I guess I best bone up on the local team names.  (Although, NOLA's reputation being what it is, I probably won't be in any mood to care which animal they choose to best represent their collective baller skills).

THE NEWS REGARDING MORPHING FROM HORNETS TO PELICANS:
http://www.nytimes.com/2013/01/25/sports/basketball/new-orleans-hornets-changing-name-to-pelicans-in-nba-name-game.html?_r=0

THE NBA TEAM NAME HISTORY PRIMER:
http://mentalfloss.com/article/23115/origins-all-30-nba-team-names

NOLA FEB 2014 EVENTS ARE ALREADY FILLING THE CALENDAR:
http://eventful.com/neworleans/events/february

Random Wordplay for Wednesday 3/13/13

Guitargument.

Used in a sentence:  "So I've been to Cleveland to visit the Rock and Roll Museum and I've stayed in a Motel 6 or two in my life (not in Cleveland, necessarily), but what I wouldn't give to have been there (the Motel 6 in Cleveland) during the classic Guitargument that made national news."

Apparently, girlfriend thought Van Halen was the best guitarist of all time, and boyfriend thought Slash was -- which led to the type of argument that one might not be surprised to overhear in a Motel 6 parking lot.  The employees who always leave the light on called the police, and the couple went to jail -- not because one of them was deemed right or wrong, but because they had outstanding warrants, so, in my opinion -- they shouldn't have been standing out in a parking lot causing a ruckus.

[And, for the record, Rolling Stone says it is Jimi Hendrix (see top 100 list at the link below)]

MORE ABOUT THE GUITARGUMENT:
http://ultimateclassicrock.com/guitarist-argument-jail/

ROLLING STONES' OPINION ABOUT THE GUITARGUMENT:
http://www.rollingstone.com/music/lists/100-greatest-guitarists-of-all-time-19691231

BOOK YOUR LOCATION TODAY FOR YOUR NEXT GUITARGUMENT-LIKE FIGHT:
http://www.motel6.com/

Random Tune for Tuesday 3/12/13

So, in an odd way, this is a companion post to the Random Tune for Tuesday of 10/5/10.

On that day, I meant to declare this song as my random tune of the day, but couldn't find a youtube version of it.

So, back then, I posted the song that I was planning on posting today, until I did some quick research on the blog (gotta love the power of the google search embedded in a blog), and I discovered the 10/5/10 post.

Which, in turn, made me search the youtube -- where I actually found the song I wanted to post back on 10/5/10.

So if you want to count the flowers on the wall and play solitaire 'til dawn with a deck of 51, you'll have to find the 10/5/10 post on my blog (search "solitaire" to find it).  Because today, it's whatever bangs your shutter, melts your butter, pops your corn, blows your horn, peels your banana, plays your piano, mows your lawn, lights your candle, turns your handle, fries your chicken, cocks your pistol, toots your whistle, sails your boat, gets your goat, plows your garden, begs your pardon, bakes your bread, slays your dragon, paints your wagon and shows your stuff!  They don't make songs like this anymore!

WATCH IT NOW BEFORE THE YOUTUBE TAKES IT DOWN:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GBYdSPqN1PI

Amazing Race Aside S22E4

I have to start by mentioning that my favorite moment from last night's episode was the look that the Bali boy gave the camera (with Phil) at the eliminated team's new "record", showing that even the foreign host knew how ridiculous it was ... and speaking of Phil, here's the new construct ...

PITHIEST COMMENT OF THE NIGHT:  Sure, I could say it was "rip it, read it and keep on racing", or "eat it like it's your job" (as yelled to a monkey), but I have to deem the strategy of "one leg at a time on one leg" as the most on point.

HOW DO THEY DO THAT?  BEHIND-THE- SCENES REQUEST:  So if you get cash in your envelope for the leg, then how can you book your airline tickets online?  Come clean -- is there a Race flight voucher?  And is it really coincidence that they get the last eight seats on the early flight?  Or is that manufactured drama?

IMAGE I WON'T SOON FORGET:  I'm trying hard to replace the image of that youtube boy in the super short seventies style red gym shorts over top his leggings ... with something that I didn't even see on the show, but, instead, in the commercial break.  Apparently, the Wednesday night local news will cover this story:  "She has dementia and he is blind.  So who would sell them a car?".  The couple's picture is now in my head (at least until Wednesday)!

LET ME JUST SAY THIS:  I am dying to hear more about the flying squirrel that lived in the country singer's bra that died of loneliness.  I don't think that's some down home euphemism.  But there has to be more to say about how that all went down.

[review how to care for flying squirrels here:  http://www.arcforwildlife.com/flyers.htm]

Random Memorial for Monday 3/11/13

Gone but not forgotten:  the teachers of my youth.

Over the weekend, I heard that the music teacher from my high school alma mater has passed.  Facebook was the news source (as it is in so many unique ways more and more), and I read post after post about that person.  I couldn't really contribute, as I had a bit of a musical moratorium during my high school years (I was musical in Junior High [I even wrote my own Christmas song, which is probably in my file room {and yes, I'm a hoarder-in-training with an out-of-control "file room" in the apartment}] and again in college [Pajama Game 1991 anyone?]).

But it did remind me that, earlier this year as I advanced a New Year's resolution initiative to get through the pile of reading material under the coffee table (did I already mention I'm a hoarder-in-training?), I discovered in my LVC alumni magazines that my junior high teachers Helen Smith and Ronald Drum had both passed (in 2010 and 2011 respectively).  Besides first thinking that this was yet another sign of my rapid aging (as is my 25 year high school reunion that is hopefully being planned for next year), I realized that this is why small town newspapers are so important (to catch the names of those whom you know that have died).

So Helen Smith -- with whom I can still recall reading Flowers for Algernon and by whom my IEP was written ... and Ronald Drum -- who was my eighth grade reading teacher (do they still have classes like that at school -- where everyone just sits silently in individual study carrels, reading until the bell rings [note:  I aced it]?) and who famously covered up the classroom clock with the message, "Time passes.  Will you?", you will be both be missed (albeit belatedly).

THINKING OF YOU MRS. SMITH:
http://www.cliffsnotes.com/study_guide/literature/flowers-for-algernon.html

THINKING OF YOU MR. DRUM:
http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/ldnews/obituary.aspx?page=lifestory&pid=152028334#fbLoggedOut

MAYBE IT'S MACABRE, BUT COULD YOU LIST THOSE INSTRUCTORS WHO'VE PASSED?:
http://www.lebanon.k12.pa.us/

Random Scandal Sheet for Sunday 3/10/13

What Chicago is talking about this week:

Holy Bouncing Boobies:  A Batman Burlesque!

Let me explain -- Indiana family is coming to town next weekend, so it was time to seek out Chitown happenings to finish off the plan-making.  As someone who has a "thing" for all things Bat, a reference to this performance jumped out at me from the latest issue of Chicago's TimeOut.  And so now I have to see it.

I'm not sure that it's the right fit for the family gathering, but it's now on my bat-radar.

And it's an art form.  And it's feminism at its strongest.  And it has Batman villains in it.  And now I really want to watch.

FROM ITS RUN LAST YEAR:
http://www.makeitbetter.net/entertainment/reviews/4469-holy-boobies-batman-burlesque-hits-the-north-shore

THE SHOW SCHEDULE (IT'S NOT ALL BATMAN, ALL THE TIME):
http://www.gorillatango.com/cgi-bin/public/gttv2.cgi?location_number=7&shows=yes

ART, NOT STRIPPING (NOT THAT THERE'S ANYTHING WRONG WITH THAT):
http://thebetterbombshell.blogspot.com/2012/08/burlesque-feminist-art-form.html

Random Soapbox for Saturday 3/9/13

I don't mean to go off on a rant here, but ...

... what ever happened to the simple straight-forward vending machines of my youth?  You know, the kind that dispensed mints and gum and soda/pop/coke and bags of salty things or bags of sweet things ...

I can still remember the love I had for the ones in the basement of MaryGreen (my dorm at the beginning of my time at LVC), as I knew then intimately.  (Well -- intimately may not be the right word; I'm not campaigning to get on that "strange obsessions" reality show.)  But, being a poor college student who pulled many an all-nighter in that basement, I was quite fond of the machines.  They used to give me change sometimes (probably the person before me forgot to claim it, although sometimes it was as simple as checking underneath to pick up the coinage of the clumsy who had dropped it) and, I swear, that at least 50% of the time, I would get two sodas after paying for just one (and only twice, did I pay and get nothing).  And the snack vending machine next to it, would also "tip" you an item or two, if you happened to gently "tip" it. [Upon reflection, maybe I had a vending-Haversham intervening on my behalf?  But I digress ...]

Nowadays, one never knows what one will find upon stepping up to the vending.  For instance, this proactiv machine is in the mall in Florida near the annual vacation spot, and it's just one of many recent developments:

*some machines now come with a touch screen to check calorie count prior to purchase, which is apparently a mandatory requirement for all coming soon (like how it will be in all fast food restaurants)

*Shippensburg University students (all over the age of 17 as required by law) can pick up the morning-after pill via vending

*ramen noodles (another big seller on campuses, obviously) and even cotton candy on a stick are new options

*local company Kraft rolled out a Temptations mousse sampler machine that is smart enough to analyze the face of the person requesting the treat so that it only gives it to adults (and it directs kids to step away from the machine)

To be clear, I'm not a total luddite.  I appreciate the make-your-own-mix Coca-Cola soda fountains that are in a few places -- AND the fact that vending machine technology improved from the early days of shooting a bottle of pop down the chute such that you got a carbonated-liquid-bath upon opening it, but I just long for the simplicity of the old days (and, yes, the luddite in me [I said I'm not a total one, not that I don't have luddite tendencies] is kvetching about the over-automation of every interaction.).

Vending for simple things in a simple way -- that's all I want for my simple life.  Who's with me?

PLAN B VENDING (just for those crazy college kids):
http://news.msn.com/us/fda-ok-with-colleges-plan-b-contraceptive-vending-machine

FREE PUDDING VENDING (except for any crazy underage kids):
http://connectorati.wordpress.com/2012/01/12/kraft-temptations-vending-machines-break-through-sampling-innovation-or-gimmick-and-targeting-blunder/

COTTON CANDY  VENDING (because we all want to be a kid at heart):
http://money.cnn.com/galleries/2011/smallbusiness/1109/gallery.innovation_vending_machine/2.html

Random Flashback for Friday 3/8/13

What was I doing "spring break" approximately twenty years* ago?

I was driving from my apartment in Uniontown to Boston (the first of two times that decade, the only two times I've been to the New England area) to see my surrogate sister Wendy W in school (nearby at Mt Holyoke) and out of school (here, in front of Faneuil Hall), singing with the amazing V-8's (an acapella group tradition that celebrated 70 years of singing last year).

I still have a cassette (it was 1993, after all), which includes their greatest hits -- and the memories of the performance (as the youtube didn't exist back then, where more modern day performances from this group can be found) and of the whole trip.

Wendy -- thinking of you and yours this flashback Friday!

*Disclosure:  this photo (and the aforementioned trip) took place in April 1993, hence the use of the word approximately.  But hey, blink and April and spring will be here.

Random Thought for Thursday 3/7/13

Oh PBS.

I just wanted to spend an hour watching cute and cuddly Koalas.

Why did you have to also teach me that Koala sex is so out of control that females will secrete something that mixes with the semen to serve as a type of vagina glue to seal it shut after being inseminated, so that the other frisky males who might try to get some action will know that they've already been bred?  And that Koala males are facing a chlamydia epidemic from all the dirty Koala sex they are having?

Why couldn't you have just stuck to the cute and cuddly creature pics?  Too much knowledge may have ruined Koalas for me.

THE NATURE EPISODE OF WHICH I SPEAK:
http://www.pbs.org/wnet/nature/episodes/cracking-the-koala-code/introduction/7619/

THE MORE FAMILY FRIENDLY TELLING OF THE KOALA BREEDING EXPERIENCE:
https://www.savethekoala.com/about-koalas/life-cycle-koala

GIFTS FOR YOUR PET KOALA:
http://www.cafepress.com/+chlamydia-is-not-a-flower+gifts

Random Wordplay for Wednesday 3/6/13

Blue-hair-dusted.

Used in a sentence:  "I had just made it on the elevator and the doors closed too fast for me to realize that the car had recently been blue-hair-dusted."

Mind you, there are worse olfactory attacks than senior citizen perfumery (which, in its inexpensiveness, apparently encourages she who is being perfumed to use excessive amounts), but four floors attempting to hold in one's breath with eyes a- watering can leave a person dizzy and disoriented!

[Note -- different elevator, different day, different body spray -- and frat-douche-dusted might have been the word instead!]

A DISCUSSION ON THE BLUE-HAIR PHENOMENON:
http://forums.online-sweepstakes.com/showthread.php?t=973817

THIS MAY BE THE CULPRIT:
http://www.revlon.com/Revlon-Home/Products/Fragrance/Jean-Nate.aspx

FLATULENCE AS "DUSTING" AND OTHER FARTY WORDS:

http://onlineslangdictionary.com/meaning-definition-of/crop-dust

Random Tune for Tuesday 3/5/13

Look -- my choice for tonight doesn't have to be exclusively a seasonal song, right?

If so -- it's still technically the astrological winter season (even if meteorological spring started last Friday on 3.1) ... and this is the biggest storm we're going to get in Chitown this year it seems.  (This photo was taken on the way home from getting the paper this afternoon -- we've added a few inches since then.)

As it was, we've really had a sn-aught (snow-draught?) or a sn-earth (dearth of snow?), so as many inches as we can get close to a foot will be "special" (and, with both 50 degrees and daylight savings time forecast for the weekend [more sun!*], it will all be but a puddle soon enough anyway).  [*I know that's not technically how DST works, but allow me the poetic license please.]

And hey -- once or twice a year, this is just fine.  Me, personally, my favorite weather is jacket weather.  So cold that I get a brain freeze if I forget my earmuffs -- no thanks.  So warm that I have to reupholster the couch as it got soaked by my body brine during a triple digit spell -- also no thanks.  But once or twice a year ... it's the perfect match.

So with that, here's Dean Martin serenading Thumper and Bambi (a combination only found on the youtube) -- in a much happier scene than (spoiler-alert) the mother-gets-slaughtered ending.

LET IT SNOW ... LET IT SNOW ... LET IT SNOW:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-mSSPM3ies0

Amazing Race Aside S22E3

Here's the problem for me when all the Sunday night TV shows start to run together:  once cancer dad's achilles burst, I was thinking they could simply chop off his leg like they did when Herschel was bitten, and he could be fitted for a prosthetic as some kind of justice for having sent Amy home so early in the race last season.  Anyway ...

PITHIEST COMMENT OF THE NIGHT:  "They're doing all the work -- we're just lying there." -- seems like the Hockey bros were speaking from some kind of personal experience.

HOW DO THEY DO THAT?  BEHIND-THE-SCENES REQUEST:  Come on producers, come clean -- the Shemozzle is real?  And what are the dogs for?  And how can you take the racers to New Zealand and not have everyone go to a picnic at Phil's house?

IMAGE I WON'T SOON FORGET:  Crutch-running.  At first I thought it was haphazard and he was bound to fall at any minute -- but damned if, by the end, I didn't think it was very elegant and poetic in a post-modern interpretative dance kind of way.

LET ME JUST SAY THIS:  Alliances have been around since Eve and the snake made a deal for that afternoon snack in the garden, so even though reality shows have thrown in a very modern twist to the construct, just know that it's probably not going to end well in a race where you must turn against those with whom you are allied.  Stop trying to turn this show in to Survivor!

[find Bible verses about alliances here:  http://www.openbible.info/topics/alliances]

Random Memorial for Monday 3/4/13

Gone but not forgotten:  the celebration of Pulaski day in Chicago schools.

Back in the old days, today used to be a public school holiday in Chitown, but that went away (along with Columbus Day) during last year's battle between the city and the school board (guess that our mayor's not counting on the voting bloc of Poles and I-talians should he run again and not pursue national political aspirations as some suspect).

To show my allegiance to the original concept, I took the day off of work (well, kind of -- it's more like I worked this past Saturday, so having Monday off is how my "weekend" falls) ... and I will eat pierogies tonight for dinner (and if only it was twenty years ago when I was working at Cherry Tree Cafe and eating Bev's halupke and halushki, that would be an even more traditional delight ...).  Speaking of allegiance, family lore says that my father's forebears were Prussian, and since my high school history classes served me well (and the Wikipedia confirmed that they did), that makes me somewhat connected to the Polish folk.  [Wikipedia also reminded me that I should have some guilt for World War I as well -- although my father's father fought in that "Great War" on the American side, so I guess the gene pool has been absolved.]

So, despite Rahm's actions, Casimir, founder of Calvary and he for whom the street here in town that is a modern-day border for rival gang territories such that I have to double check that my windows are rolled up and that my doors are locked every time I cross over it headed west, you will not be missed.

BACK TO SCHOOL YOUNG 'UNS -- NO HOLIDAY FOR YOU!:
http://www.examiner.com/article/mayor-rahm-emanuel-wipes-columbus-and-pulaski-off-the-chicago-school-calendar

NEED A PULASKI REFRESHER?:
http://polskiinternet.com/english/casimirpulaski.html

MY FATHER'S FATHER'S FOREBEARS HAIL FROM HERE:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prussia

Random Scandal Sheet for Sunday 3/3/13

What Chicago is talking about this week:

The decision by the Cubs to limit those who lead the seventh inning stretch singalong to "local" celebrities.

Spring is just around the corner, which means I'll be able to open the windows and let the sounds of the 'hood in.  Living just a spit and a holler away from Wrigley as I do, that will include the sure way that I always know the game is ending -- hearing Take Me Out to the Ballgame in the middle of the afternoon (and occasionally in the evenings).  I consider it a perk of being so close -- but a real perk, unlike the other "perks" of ding-dong-drunken-ditchers as they pass by after the game, or alleys used for public urination, or frequent parking nightmares.

Luckily, there are still many celebrities that have a "local" connection, so the guy in the photo will still be welcome (particularly this summer when he and his bandmates will be filling the air, and the apartment, with the sounds of sweet sweet PJam tuneage).  Can't wait!

THE ANNOUNCEMENT:
http://www.yardbarker.com/mlb/articles/chicago_cubs_to_limit_celebrities_for_seventh_inning_tradition/13024888

THE ANNOUNCEMENT (IN MORE DETAIL):
http://www.courier-journal.com/usatoday/article/1953855?odyssey=tab%7Ctopnews%7Ctext%7C

A LIST OF PAST PERFORMANCES YOU CAN FIND ON THE YOUTUBE:
http://www.statesmanjournal.com/usatoday/article/1954027

Random Soapbox for Saturday 3/2/13

I don't mean to go off on a ranty kind of rave here, but ...

... Danica Patrick and Ronda Rousey and Lauren Silberman, oh my!

I wish I had a side business cleaning up the shards of glass from the ceilings being broken all around, 'cause I'd be raking in the dough of late, thanks to these female athletes.

And it's not the novelty of it (as Franco's "drivers and Danica" ill-spoken syllogism implies), but the fact that we're moving toward a place where it's non-novelty news.  (I mean, after all, if women can serve in combat zones, surely they can have professional sports careers in sports of their choosing.)

And best of luck to you tomorrow, Lauren -- or maybe not so much "luck", but maybe "best show of your skill" is the more appropriate exhortation.  I think it's about damn time that the classically American phrase "you can be whatever you want to be*" starts to be a phrase without all of the asterisks that our culture's burdened it with -- so long as you *are the "approved" gender, *have the "approved" skin color, *come from the "approved" social class, *love the "approved" persons, *look and act like those "approvers" who make the decisions, *say the "approved" things, etc. etc. etc. ...

Deviate from the norm.  Break the mold.  Confound expectations.

Women actively serving in combat zones in the military.  Check.  Women participating in sports of their choosing.  Check.  Women in the chief role in the White House?  I'm thinking 2016 ...

GO DANICA GO!:
http://espn.go.com/racing/nascar/cup/story/_/id/9003264/danica-patrick-reflects-meaning-leading-two-500s

GO RONDA GO!:
http://www.sportsgrid.com/video/ronda-rousey-ufc-first-womens-match/


GO LAUREN GO!:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/sport/2013/mar/02/lauren-silberman-female-kicker-nfl

Random Flashback for Friday 3/1/13

This is me from twenty years ago, in my Uniontown apartment, exploring what was then a newer concept for me  -- facial hair.  And it certainly seems like a self-portrait a la the way kids do the cell phone photos in the mirror nowadays.

There's a slight chance that's a shadow on my chin, but I'm pretty sure that's the extent to which I grew our my goatee, just to see, as 21 year olds are wont to do, what it would look like (and it looks ALMOST long enough to put some beads in it, not that that would have happened -- and not that there's anything wrong with that -- just that it wasn't my scene).

There's a good chance I still have a shadow of a goatee nowadays (even if it does cover up the swell cleft in my chin), but that's mostly out of laziness and, by design, never longer than the hair (that's left) on my head.

So young.  So smiley.  So much of a "sparkle in my eyes" (although, as a 21 year old taking pictures of himself, I guess there's a good chance that I had been drinking before I snapped the photo) ...

Where, oh where has the time gone?