Random Thought for Thursday 4/30/15

Sometimes ... when I walk up to (and then through) electronic sliding doors ... I make hand motions as if I have telekinesis and I'm using my super power.

(That's it.  Despite the way it may appear, I'm under no obligation to go on and on and on when I post.)

A TELEKINESIS PRIMER:
http://powerlisting.wikia.com/wiki/Telekinesis

A SUPER POWER RANKING:
http://www.ign.com/top/super-powers

SPEAKING OF ME AND SUPER-POWERS:
http://capcognition.blogspot.com/search/label/Lorem%20Ipsum%3A%20%20The%20Aloysius%20Angelasia%20Archives

Random Wordplay for Wednesday 4/29/15

Freedom Day.

Used in a sentence:  "Whilst researching the statistics behind my post for this past Monday (which was about the 73rd day of work in a new year representing the total amount of time a worker will spend in email in a given year), I discovered that this is also the season to celebrate Freedom Day."

Or Tax Freedom Day, as it might be more specifically known.  And, of additional note, it varies by state (see chart in the link below), so some of you should have *already* had the token cupcake in the accompanying image and some of you won't get it for a few more days.

Regardless, feel free to enjoy the fact that you are now (or will soon be) working for yourself for the rest of the year.  (Well ... for your creditors ... or your kids ... or your puppies ... but you get the point ...)  Congrats on making enough to date to give to your government!

WITH A STATE BY STATE COMPARISON OF THE DAY YOU GET YOUR CUPCAKE:
http://taxfoundation.org/article/tax-freedom-day-2015-april-24th

YOU PAY MORE TAX THAN YOU THINK:
http://www.nowandfutures.com/taxes.html

A PRIMER ON TAX RATES THROUGH THE YEARS:
http://bradfordtaxinstitute.com/Free_Resources/Federal-Income-Tax-Rates.aspx

Random Tune for Tuesday 4/28/15

Sometimes something is sooooo wrong it comes all the way back around to being on point.

But, as seen through the rose colored glasses that only can come through the prism of a musical that was twisted in its own right back in its own day, when it comes to race problems in Baltimore, *everybody* knows that Ricki Lake and/or Nikki Blonsky can solve this whole thing with some well coordinated dancing with some of those out-of-hand high school students.

And now the necessary disclaimers ... violence is wrong, willful destruction of others' property is not an "uprising" but is criminal activity no matter how talking heads try to "spin" it, and police who break the law they are sworn to protect must be held accountable.  This tongue-in-cheek video is not meant to in any way make light of the situation in Baltimore.  As a matter of fact, the line about how the flasher and the bum wish her luck on the way to school should actually break your heart when you hear it said juxtaposed with these images.

So forgive me if my mind gravitates more to the hope of Hairspray than the wickedness of The Wire as a Baltimore-frame-of-reference as I try to process all of this.  And, I should also probably close with a note that I have to think that Joan Rivers and John Waters would both approve this message (may one of them continue to rest in peace).

IF IT'S TOO SOON OR YOU ARE TOO CLOSE TO IT, THEN ... DON'T CLICK:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dmU7WLpCN2w

Random Memorial for Monday 4/27/15

Gone but not forgotten:  the day recently passed that stands in statistically as the number of work days since the beginning of the year that the average "knowledge worker" (see definition in the link below/to follow) spends on emails.

Studies have shown that the task of "crafting, reading, re-reading and replying to emails" takes 28% of said worker's time, which puts the math of a 260 day work year ('cause if you're lucky, you don't have to work weekends) at about 73 days.  So, depending on your holidays and vacation schedule in the first quarter, that's a work day that was likely within the last fortnight.

(By the way ... check back Wednesday for another milestone day that likely happened in this same time frame ...)

The marker that makes us feel like we can now finally start getting things done instead of being inundated by our inboxes ... until this time next year ... you will (maybe not) be missed.

THE STUDY:
http://jobs.aol.com/articles/2012/08/01/workers-spend-the-equivalent-of-73-days-a-year-on-email-study-f/

HOW TO BEAT THE SYSTEM (AND GET SOME OF THOSE DAYS BACK):
http://www.quickanddirtytips.com/productivity/organization/managing-email-when-your-inbox-is-overloaded

WHILE WE'RE ON THE SUBJECT OF COMMUNICATING:
http://www.au.af.mil/au/awc/awcgate/sba/comm_style.htm

Random Scandal Sheet for Sunday 4/26/15

What southern Florida is talking about this week:

Legislative Overtime!

Seems more and more likely that the business of making law will *not* be wrapped up by next Friday (which is also somehow the 1st of May already!), and a special session will be needed in order for the statesmen and stateswomen of Florida to complete their most important task of passing a budget (and any other number of issues now tied up in that one challenge).

By the way, can I just say that, being born and raised in PA before coming to Florida by way of Illinois, I was also somewhat shocked to learn that a "normal year" for our elected folks here is *just sixty* days (which is why I went looking for some kind of comparison of all the different types of state legislatures that are out there, since working two months out of twelve seemed a bit "light" in my opinion).

But regardless of what I thought, 2015 is all but certain to be a year of more than 60 days of work.  And the real question will come at the end of whatever the last day is, as it's then that we'll see exactly what (if anything) was accomplished ... (aka ... to be continued ...)

IT'S OVERTIME TIME BOYS AND GIRLS (AKA LET'S GET SOMETHING DONE!):
http://www.tampabay.com/news/politics/stateroundup/florida-legislature-heads-toward-special-session-because-of-medicaid/2225682

FIND A FLORIDA BILL (AKA SEE WHAT'S NOT GETTING DONE!):
http://www.myfloridahouse.gov/Sections/Bills/bills.aspx

CURIOUS ABOUT YOUR STATE (AKA SEE WHO WORKS SO LITTLE FOR YOU!):
http://www.ncsl.org/research/about-state-legislatures/full-and-part-time-legislatures.aspx

Random Soapbox for Saturday 4/25/15

I don't mean to go off on a rant here, but ...

... what the Flakka!?!

This is the kind of stuff that is only supposed to show up on fictional super-hero shows ... that is, drugs that can make you lose your mind, paranoid to the point that you strip naked, trying to flee from the bugs you are convinced have infested you underneath your skin, with a sense of invincibility and a super strength that defies tazers, etc. etc.

Designed by sickos, apparently in the same labs that brought us bath salts, the drug (officially Alpha-PVP but also known on the street as "gravel" due to its similarity in appearance to the items covering the bottom of your kids' fish tanks) is now making its way from southern Florida to a city near you.  As I understand it, folks are using it as an additive to their existing drugs (like sprinkling a little on that cigarette) ... and then going bat sh!t crazy!

On the heels of the druggie-gone-zombie that was eating people's faces off on the exit ramps down in Miami (note:  google it ... that was an actual news story and NOT a promotional stunt for the return of the latest season of The Walking Dead), this is making me want to hasten the plans to build the front yard fence and reinforce the back yard fence and go all agoraphobic right quick.

If only we had succeeded in legalizing marijuana so everyone looking to get high could just be sitting around moving slowly, laughing loudly and eating aggressively.  Oh well ... opportunity missed ...

NOT ONLY FLAKKA ... ALSO THE BUDDER:
https://www.thewatershed.com/blog/new-designer-drugs/

READ ACTUAL FLAKKA-INDUCED HORROR STORIES:
http://www.sun-sentinel.com/local/broward/fl-flakka-on-the-rise-20150402-story.html#page=1

FROM MY NEW HOME ... TO MY OLD HOME (YOU'RE WELCOME!):
http://www.cbsnews.com/news/scary-new-designer-drug-flakka-hits-chicago/

Random Flashback for Friday 4/24/15

On September 19, 2014, I lied on this blog in a Friday flashback.

That day, I said:  "How can I best commemorate the last time I acted with Brigette C?"

Turns out that *this* was the last time I acted with Brigette C ... also in an audience participation murder mystery on LVC's campus (because that's how I spent my spare time back in the day twenty years ago).

I just wanted to set the record straight, and figured that posting this picture outside of the Blair Music Center on campus (she's standing next to the second obelisk in this photo), seemed like the best way to do that.  I regret the error.

Note:  what with me in the monkey suit, I'm guessing this was "Rendezvous with Revenge" and the ongoing saga of the Chadwick brothers in Winston Falls, my fictional town in which almost all of my stories were set back then, named with a subtle nod toward another fictional town called Salem (and yes, that is a DOOL reference).

By the way, although this is now the documented last time I acted with Brigette C, it is *still* not the last audience participation murder mystery ... which means there will *still* be more Friday flashbacks of this nature in the weeks to come ...

Random Thought for Thursday 4/23/15

The votes are in!

Well, the first round of votes anyway.

If you haven't been following along, there is an initiative underway to bump Andrew Jackson off of the $20 bill (he's been targeted because of his not-so-nice-to-the-natives activity of his presidency) by the time 2020 rolls around (which is, in turn, the 100th anniversary of the women folk being allowed to vote).  All last month (which was Women's History Month, in case you were out of that loop as well), the candidates were whittled down ... and now it looks like the final four are Eleanor Roosevelt, Harriet Tubman, Rosa Parks, and Cherokee Nation Chief Wilma Mankiller.

Eleanor and her proximity to the presidency would probably get *my* vote to join Susan B Anthony, Sacajawea and Helen Keller (the other three females to appear on money) ... but there's something downright anti-old-boys-club if it were Ms. Mankiller that made it to the bill.  Just sayin' ...

THE VOTES ARE IN:
http://www.cbsnews.com/news/a-woman-on-the-20-bill/

THE FULL STORY AS PER THE ORGANIZATION LEADING THE CHARGE:
http://www.womenon20s.org/

LEST YOU NOT BE FAMILIAR WITH THE MANKILLER:
http://www.wilmamankiller.com/

Random Wordplay for Wednesday 4/22/15

Pari-mutuel pleasures.

Used in a sentence:  "Whilst following the coverage of all the recent welfare-hatin' that was originatin' down in Kansas, I realized that I was completely unaware about why folks were angered over recipients using my moneys for their pari-mutuel pleasures."

I should probably go no further without first saying that I stand for reason, compromise and the middle-ground (which also means that I have absolutely no place in today's political climate of sound bites, stubbornness and extremism [aka the type of class warfare fear mongering that poses as leadership nowadays]).

That being said, I did take a look at the list of items deemed not welfare eligible, and I don't see anything that outlandish -- even the whole style of betting that takes place in pari-mutuel parlors, which is a phrase that I did not know and had to go look up.  I have to say, I thought it would be much more salacious of an activity, what with all the sex and sex-adjacent items on the master list, and not just gambling 101 (personally, I like to limit my vice to overindulging on the Guinness a few times a quarter, so I was blissfully unaware).

So there you go ... I guess, in the end, I agree.  Individuals on public assistance ... if you're going to insist on indulging in pari-mutuel pleasures, then please do so on your own dime!

THE KANSAS LAW (WITH AN ITEMIZED LIST):
http://www.kshb.com/news/state/kansas/new-kansas-rules-would-limit-spending-of-welfare-benefits

AN INTERESTING TAKE ON THINGS (WARNING:  NSFW LANGUAGE HEREIN):
http://www.cracked.com/blog/the-4-types-people-welfare-nobody-talks-about/

IN CASE YOU NEEDED A PARI-MUTUEL PRIMER LIKE I DID:
http://www.thesportsgeek.com/sports-betting/horse-racing/pari-mutuel-betting/

Random Tune for Tuesday 4/21/15

So it's back to a little less structured randomness now that the 39 week countdown ended last Tuesday ...

And it's only fitting that I (re)start the randomness with a bit of a tune off of the latest release from the one and only Reba ... and although it's early, I *think* it's the one to which I'm gravitating the most (which is the language I'm comfortable using since I refuse to pick "favorites" from my favorites).

Of course it's early yet (the album's only been out a week), so I might switch from the upbeat I'm-a-survivor type message of "Livin' Ain't Killed Me Yet" to another tune over time (contenders would be the duet with Jennifer Nettles on "Enough" [somehow a sequel of sorts to both Reba's "Does He Love You" and Sugarland's "Stay" {and, like most sequels, it just doesn't pack as much of an emotional punch as the originals}] or the Rebafied version of the great story song "Love Land" [about which I'm familiar due to Martina McBride's cover of it {and during which I can still get a little choked up by the time the birthday cake candles get blown out near the end}]).

But for tonight ... it's the country take on what Cher herself recently communicated when she announced via song that we hadn't seen the last of her ... "Livin' Ain't Killed Me Yet"!

DOWN TO THE WIRE WITH MY FEET THROUGH THE FIRE:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pMtlB2SwoNk

Random Memorial for Monday 4/20/15

Gone but not forgotten:  the plant that *was* in this giant pot out front.

(And I know I just typed the word pot on 4.20, but the plant that *was* inside this item was NOT the kind that the kids use who celebrate today's holiday.)

What can I say, I got spoiled at ye olde Florida homestead, which was completely gated except for the mailbox and the swale.  Ye *new* olde Florida homestead is on the corner of a busy street, with plenty of pedestrian foot traffic, which means plenty of opportunities for random jack-douchery to occur (in addition to the plant, the front hose has also disappeared, although the nozzle was left behind).

I've previously embraced the fact that I'm bound to transition to a grumpy old man sooner rather than later, but I'm trying to resist the temptation to position myself by the window and yell at kids to get off my lawn all day (I did do it once ... which may or may not be why the plant disappeared).

On those rare moments where I can find some zen, I think that maybe someone nicked it that was so saddened by being devoid of foliage that this plant has turned them around to a happier life.  But then I quickly start thinking about replacing it with something even pricklier, or a spiny cactus, or quills dipped in strychnine (you get the idea).  Or, you know, build a fence because fences make good neighbors.

In lieu of my usual links-in-triplicate, I'll post a photo of that which is now missed ...

Random Scandal Sheet for Sunday 4/19/15

What southern Florida is talking about this week:

Going over the edge of *this* building in downtown Ft. Lauderdale next Saturday.

So, to be clear, *I'm* not the one going over the edge (I'm pretty sure I might have a thing about heights) ... but a few fundraisers for Gilda's Club are (including someone with whom I work in my new division).

Looks like it's the third year but the biggest building yet (although to be clear about something else, this building isn't 110 stories [like the Sears-I-mean-Willis towers back in Chicago, but "only" 30 [not that that's not going to be a worthy rappelling challenge all the same]).

Good luck to those participating ... my thoughts (and prayers?) are with you!

GOOD LUCK ...:
http://www.sun-sentinel.com/features/society/broward/fl-societyse-c-gildas-overedge-0319-20150317-story.html

TO ALL THOSE GOING OVER THE EDGE ...:
http://www.hypesouthflorida.com/livin-la-vida-local/2015/03/13/overtheedge/

AS A FUNDRAISER FOR THIS FINE ORGANIZATION!:
http://gildasclubsouthflorida.org/page/Over_The_Edge_For_Gildas/47/30/

Random Soapbox for Saturday 4/18/15

I don't mean to go off on a rant here, but ...

... dear server at the Outback Steakhouse, please learn how to pronounce the food on your menu.  It is /cah-PREHY-zay/ and not /cah-PREEZ/.

You can trust me ... I was once a waiter like you.  Actually, I was thrice a waiter like you (nearly full time at Cherry Tree Cafe in Uniontown, once upon a time for special events at the Lantern Lounge in Myerstown and to close out my food service career at the Golden Sheaf in the Hilton in downtown Harrisburg ... not to mention my stints at McDonald's [where I did a bit of everything] and in the cafeteria at LVC [where I only made grilled cheese sandwiches all shift long ... dozens and dozens and dozens of plain, ordinary grilled cheese sandwiches]).

Here's another tip (in addition to the financial one that I decided in the end NOT to dock) ... if you don't know how to say it, but your customer does, and he says it first, don't be so bold as to correct him with the WRONG pronunciation.  That's just bad form.

Because I don't like to criticize without providing an action step for improvement ... please use the youtube before you embarrass yourself again (see below) ...

THIS MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE BEEN PLAYING ON A CELL PHONE AS YOU PASSED:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dv9Kh7OPpLg

REGARDLESS OF PRONUNCIATION, IT WAS PRETTY DARN GOOD:
https://twitter.com/outback/status/568559426644410368

CAPRESE DID *NOT* MAKE THE LIST:
http://blogs.houstonpress.com/eating/2011/06/the_20_most_commonly_mispronou.php

Random Flashback for Friday 4/17/15

Same central PA Lutheran church camp ... same group of LVC students ... same timeframe, which was twenty years ago in the spring of 1995.

This photo was in front of the little A-frame cabins in the woods where we were roughing it ... sleeping bags on bunk beds with skinny mattresses ... walking across camp to the facilities ... all the fun stuff of that kind of life, well at least for a weekend.

Our reason for being there?  An audience participation murder mystery written just for the occasion called Guilty as Charged.  And I was hip to the whole let's get creative with the Bible for entertainment long before Mr. and Mrs. Touched-by-an-Angel.  Except my 12 apostles were board members, and it was more of a coup that killed of the Jesus-based character (at least temporarily, as part of the final scene, he re-appeared to complete the allegory and the lesson ...)

Good news ... it worked such that we were invited back for the next two years (which means these cabins will appear is flashbacks next year and the year after that ... Zuckerberg willing ...)

Random Thought for Thursday 4/16/15

When I grow up, I want to be just like Harry Connick Jr.

If you haven't guessed it, I've been bingeing on Idol episodes recently, seeing as how Fox finally got smart enough to keep them on demand for longer than just a few days, allowing addicts like me a more manageable timeframe to juggle their viewing plans.

And, based on the google search to locate this photo, I should offer a disclaimer that I did NOT see last night's show with what was apparently a controversial exchange between him and a contestant.

Maybe there's a bit of how New Orleans is now the new go-to getaway spot seeing as how the move was made last year to southern Florida -- what used to be the go-to getaway spot these last few years ... but mostly it's about how honest  he is, dedicated to his craft, and confident enough to be all kinds of goofy and wacky on a whim.

It does strike me that I might first have to answer the question of exactly when it is that I enter the stage of "grown up" (I'm fighting it as long as I can, trust me ...), but when I do ... I'm going on record with the name of my role model!

SPOILER:  LAST NIGHT'S MOMENT THAT I HAVE YET TO SEE:
http://www.people.com/article/harry-connick-jr-quentin-alexander-american-idol-argument

ALL HAIL HARRY CONNICK JR:
http://www.eonline.com/news/498848/six-reasons-harry-connick-jr-will-save-american-idol

COMMENTARY ON THE SUBJECT OF GROWING UP:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2348168/I-want-DOG-I-grow-Hilarious-proof-kids-really-say-funniest-things.html

Random Wordplay for Wednesday 4/15/15

Haitiville.

Used in a (non- pejorative) sentence (I swear):  "Nothing says you live on the outskirts of Haitiville like walking down the street in the company of a few loose chickens roaming around."

First -- I surely hope that they were egg-laying as opposed to being kept for any ceremonies.

Second -- I mean this descriptively, in the same way that folks refer to 'hoods like Little Italy or Chinatown ... meaning that people of a certain cultural background tend to congregate together in a geographical location.  And, statistically, there are a *lot* of Haitians in Ft. Lauderdale.

Third -- I have (mostly) stopped referring to those who live in and around both ye olde homestead and ye olde *new* homestead as "islanders", as *that* did sound pejorative.

Fourth -- Speaking of ye olde *new* homestead, I have also stopped referring to the immediate neighbors as Jamaicans.  I wasn't sure after hearing them during their back yard sessions and not being able to understand much despite them speaking mostly in English (except for what seems like every other word ... f&^%ing used as the only adjective that they ever learned).  However, having been here for six weeks and having had the chance to be downwind of those aforementioned sessions, I have concluded that they can't possibly be Jamaican or else that which they are smoking would smell much much better and much less like skunk.

Now ... can someone teach me some Creole fast so I can figure out if my neighbors are saying anything about me?

TIME TO GET INFORMED ... A HAITI PRIMER:
http://www.everyculture.com/Ge-It/Haiti.html

NO SERIOUSLY ... NOT ALL OF THE CHICKENS MAKE IT OUT ALIVE:
http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2004/07/0707_040707_tvtaboovoodoo.html

HAITIANS HAVE THE NUMBER ONE SPOT IN THIS COUNTY:
http://articles.sun-sentinel.com/2012-05-11/news/fl-census-foreign-born-20120510_1_foreign-born-first-haitian-baptist-church-large-haitian-population

Random Tune for Tuesday 4/14/15

Raise your glass!  Tip your "fo-ty"!  Prepare your speech!

For it's now time for the final track in this series ... track 39 of 39 ... and since mixmaster Jon M found the perfect track to close out the two cassette mixtape from back during our college era days, made for all of those who hung out in FE213 (and somehow fit into the little 83 Ford Escort for midnight trips to trespass [allegedly] on the grounds of the nearby military base) ...  who am I to waste any more e-space with my words, when Tony Banks wrote it and Phil Collins sang it and they both sooo hit the nail on the head:

Another time it might have been so different
If only we could do it all again
But now it's just another fading memory
Out of focus, though the outline still remains

Like the story that we wish was never ending
We know sometime we must reach the final page
Still we carry on just pretending
That there'll always be another day to go

Another chance hello, another goodbye
And so many things we'll never see again
Days of life that seemed so unimportant
Seem to matter and to count much later on

Far away, away, fading distant lights
Leaving us all behind, lost in a changing world
And you know that these are the days of our lives remember.

Yes indeed.  Remember.  Those were the days of our lives ...

THE PERFECT ENDING AFTER 39 WEEKS:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XXKLSX05jWw

Random Memorial for Monday 4/13/15

Gone but not forgotten:  Günter Grass, who passed away today.

[I know ... I know ... I'm *rarely* timely, but this post is actually on point for 4.13.15.]

The accompanying photo is not provided by the fine folks at google as per usual, but is from my personal collection (which you might have been able to guess with that peek at my Batman basket there in the background), as my whole knowledge of all things Grass (Günter, that is) is due to my exposure to him in my undergrad studies.

After taking German as my high school language for four years (Hallo Fraülein Bomberger and Herr Heck!), I continued with it as my choice in college for my language credit and then ended up spending a semester abroad as part of an exchange program ... which convinced me to add German as a second major during my first round of undergrad studies, that being the *first* part of the decade I spent as a professional student (Hallo Herr Scott)!

He who gave us the unmistakable image of the boy who decided to stop growing at the age of three, who was never without his drum and whose voice could break glass ... du werden uns fehlen.

THE NYT OBIT:
http://www.nytimes.com/2015/04/14/world/europe/gunter-grass-german-novelist-dies-at-87.html?_r=0

MODERN DAY CLIFF NOTES I GUESS:
http://www.bookrags.com/notes/ttd/#gsc.tab=0

FROM THE MOVIE:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BTPZn-T3wZE

Random Scandal Sheet for Sunday 4/12/15

What southern Florida is talking about this week:

How the five second rule was proven by SCIENCE, yo!

[Well, it's what I'm talking about, and I'm in southern Florida, so that will have to count.]

Sure enough, money was spent in a research lab somewhere (actually, at a university overseas ... and about a year ago ... but you know it sometimes takes news a while to cross the big pond) to prove (as seen at the first link below/to follow):

• Time is a significant factor in the transfer of bacteria from a floor surface to a piece of food; and
• The type of flooring the food has been dropped on has an effect, with bacteria least likely to transfer from carpeted surfaces and most likely to transfer from laminate or tiled surfaces to moist foods making contact for more than 5 seconds.

As a matter of fact, I checked the study a little deeper, and carpet transfer can go as long as 30 seconds, so if that's the flooring on which you've dropped your edibles, don't be pressured to rush to any action ... you got time!  No worries!

IT'S CALLED SCIENCE!:
http://www.aston.ac.uk/about/news/releases/2014/march/five-second-food-rule-does-exist/

OTHER FUN THINGS FROM SCIENCE:
http://listverse.com/2014/10/20/10-seemingly-impossible-things-made-possible-by-science/

ALTHOUGH SCIENCE CAN'T PROVE *EVERY*THING:
http://topinfopost.com/2014/10/03/15-mysterious-things-that-scientists-just-cant-explain

Random Soapbox for Saturday 4/11/15

I don't mean to go off on a rant here, but ...

... yesterday's "national sibling day" only served to remind me how difficult it is for me to represent my family in traditional formats (like the grid accompanying this post that is woefully inadequate for my situation).

You would think it would be simple, right?  A sibling is "one or more individuals having one or more parents in common" ... and so you would think it would be relatively easy to locate a photo with those individuals in it.  But that's where it started to get difficult.  Beginning at where I ended, it *was* possible to find a picture (or a few) with the five children that my mother bore.

Before I got there, though, I had to consider the fact that my father had what I refer to as his WWII family, siblings of mine with whom I've not posed for a picture, seeing as how they were grown up and having kids of their own before I even came along.  Discounting that period of time when I was so young that I couldn't remember, I interacted with one of those four pretty regular, met two of those four just once, and actually thought that the final member of that four had passed away until discovering on the Facebook that she was still alive.  So ... no picture of me with those siblings for national sibling day.

Then there are those who belong to the temporary "siblings" category.  By literal definition, they don't qualify, because zero of the biological parental units are shared ... but, courtesy of the quickie marriage with a limited shelf life, at least some time was spent with them (I had two brothers for a year when I was in kindergarten ... and two extra sisters [plus an actual not yet mentioned extra sibling with a shared parent] through junior high and high school).  But ... no picture of me with those "siblings" for national sibling day either.

Ready for another wrinkle?  I've also been lucky (and blessed) to have built my own "family" connections outside of the blood line, whom I consider to be a brother or sister in all but genealogical classification.  When I was taken in by a family at the tail end of high school, I got an instant "surrogate sister".  During my theatre internship out in western PA, I bonded with someone who became an older "brother" type and in college, I got a younger "brother" (title strengthened courtesy of a professional Greek organization tie-in as well).

It doesn't stop there ... because DJ made me an honorary "brother" in the Whitman family (instantly adding four more "siblings") and, later in life, there's the addition of my Indiana family, which adds a whole set of bonus entries competing for space on the old family tree ... and other potential expectations for those who might be considered a "sibling".  Oh ... and I forgot that there are a few super-close friends who know me better than anyone yet referenced, and who maybe should slide into the "sibling" zone, all things considered.

Bottom line ... we're going to need a few more days to celebrate and/or a much looser definition of the family ties that bind.  And maybe a different way to visualize the modern family than a straightforward tree, 'cause that just ain't workin'!

IN CASE YOU WERE CAUGHT OFF GUARD ABOUT THE 4.10 HOLIDAY:
http://www.ibtimes.com/happy-national-siblings-day-how-did-it-start-435698

EVEN THESE DON'T SEEM MODERN ENOUGH FOR ME AND MINE:
http://mom.me/home/3967-11-modern-family-trees/

ONE STEP FORWARD TO AT LEAST ADDRESS MULTIPLE MARRIAGES:
http://www.families.com/blog/how-to-include-step-parents-into-a-family-tree

Random Flashback for Friday 4/10/15

Woo-hoo!  Spring break camping trip (well, two decades ago in 1995 anyway)!

And, to be clear, the five of us LVC-ers (I was the one taking the flashback photo back then) were actually *working* over this spring break weekend.

Why?  Because sometimes everything you do comes together in one nice package ... in this case, we were at a north-central-PA Lutheran church camp weekend (I do love me some church camp retreats), hired by a HOBY alum (back in those days, that was my volunteer work with that youth leadership organization), to perform a murder mystery as entertainment (more about that twist next week).  In additional to the (small) check for performing, we also were put up for the weekend and got to participate in all the camp-like activities (like bug juice ... and midnight hikes ... and campfire goodies).

By the way ... more than once ... we expected Jason from the Friday the 13th movies to pop up out of that lake behind us ... and, just so you know, that was NOT the premise of the murder mystery.  Also -- a group of us went back the next two years running, but that's a story for next year and the next year around this time ...

Random Thought for Thursday 4/9/15

I can't help but think of George Michael every time I see the latest commercial for ED drugs.

You know the one I mean.

It stats with one of those "when the moment is right" teasers, showing older guys getting "the look" from their paramours.  And continues with the "why wait?" marketing dig at the blue OG ED drug.

But then it takes a turn and asks, "and why wait to find a bathroom?"  Which is when I assume the older couple is so eager and can't wait to copulate that they will find a public restroom in which they can do the deed.

Hence ... George Michael (circa 1998 ... and 2008 ... and maybe 2018 if he's on some kind of cycle ...).

Turns out the real message has nothing to do with half-o-wham, but that the same drugs that are responsible for the rise of STDs in nursing homes *also* help with the urinary types of issues tied to an enlarged prostrate.

But that message never quite makes it to my brain ... and I blame he who whispers carelessly.

WHAT THEY ARE TRYING TO SAY:
http://www.webmd.com/men/prostate-enlargement-bph/news/20070522/ed-drugs-may-treat-urinary-problems

WHAT I HEAR INSTEAD:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-338066/George-speaks-infamous-toilet-incident.html

FUNNY (UNLESS YOU HAVE TURGIDITY TROUBLES):
http://www.nerve.com/love-sex/the-ten-funniest-viagra-and-cialis-commercials

Random Wordplay for Wednesday 4/8/15

Baseball Threeway.

Used in a sentence:  "I wanted to contribute to all the burst of activity on the social media sites regarding opening day and what-not ... but I wanted to do it *my* way, so I figured it was time to discuss a baseball threeway."

First, to those who just jumped into the gutter, get out of it.  I'm not talking about some scandalous sexual act with the players.

Second, being relocated to southern Florida as I am, I've discovered the main season isn't discussed so much (I guess all the focus is on the spring training timeframe instead).  Sure ... there's the Marlins in Miami ... but as a transplant from the northside of Chicago, that team was dead to me once they hired loudmouth Ozzie G (and they stay dead despite having had the good sense to fire him after just one season).  And then there's some team in Tampa Bay ... but Tampa's farther away than one may realize (Florida is BIG, yo!)

Third, and to my original point, I wonder why they don't have any more threeway games like they used to.  Never heard of the baseball threeway game?  Neither did I until I saw a History channel "documentary" (airquotes fully intended as they seem to have recently diluted their brand) about "WWII from space" ... which is what introduced me to the actual game played back in 1944 to raise money for the war.  Who knew that was even a thing ... but I have a feeling I'd watch (which would make me a baseball threeway voyeur, I guess)!

THE TALE OF THE BASEBALL THREEWAY:
http://www.cbssports.com/mlb/eye-on-baseball/22466897/just-because-june-26-1944-dodgers-vs-yankees-vs-giants

MARLINS ... MEH ... BUT I KNOW THEY DID THE RIGHT THING HERE:
http://espn.go.com/mlb/story/_/id/8543189/ozzie-guillen-fired-manager-miami-marlins

THIS SOUNDS LIKE SOMETHING I'D "CELEBRATE":
http://www.cbssports.com/mlb/eye-on-baseball/25139312/this-week-in-dumb-baseball-ballparks-fail-on-opening-day

Random Tune for Tuesday 4/7/15

And so the countdown comes to an end.

Oops ... wait a minute ... that's *next* week.

*This* week is track *38* of 39 (of the collection of tunes that appear on that two cassette [yes, I said cassette] mixed tape from my college era).

And the penultimate song was the ultimate choice back in the day (before Facebook co-opted the title word for its own nefarious purposes) for recognizing that those to whom you are closest in a season aren't necessarily going to be around forever ... except for the memories you hold in your heart ... forever ... or until they're knocked loose by something like ... well ... like a 39 week countdown of songs that meant something to you during those heady and hearty soul-finding personality-tuning times.

Of course, the youtube link below isn't exactly the same as the one that appeared back then, but who could pass up a "live" duet between Michael W Smith and the one and only Amy Grant.  Sappy .. sure.  But I'll be damned if I might not have teared up upon hearing the song anew again tonight.

A LIFETIME'S NOT TOO LONG TO LIVE AS FRIENDS:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H0Zaevi3IUw

Random Memorial for Monday 4/6/15

Gone but not forgotten:  Mary Virginia Skinner.

Not too familiar with the name (or the face)?

Well ... if you laughed at all to Mama's Family (as seen on the Carol Burnett Show or later in syndication) or to The Facts of Life ... then you were laughing at things that Mary co-created.

Except, Hollywood being Hollywood, Mary worked under the name of Jenna McMahon, and was half of the comedy duo "Clair & McMahon" (seen at the link below, which is from before my time).

Mary/Jenna passed away just over a month ago (remember ... I get my news a few weeks late most times), but she who formed the likes of Eunice and Mrs. Garrett, now that I know who you are and what you did, rest assured that you will be missed.

A LITTLE BIT ABOUT MARY/JENNA:
http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/jenna-mcmahon-dead-facts-life-780279

A LITTLE BIT MORE ABOUT MARY/JENNA:
http://thecomicscomic.com/2015/03/11/rip-jenna-mcmahon-performer-and-co-creator-of-the-facts-of-life-mamas-family-its-a-living/

THE COMEDIC STYLINGS OF CLAIR & MCMAHON:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zFwpXW630Po

Random Scandal Sheet for Sunday 4/5/15

What southern Florida is talking about this week:

The holiday, of course!

And by "of course", I mean "maybe" ... depending on your affiliation.  I tried to cobble together some data off of the interwebs, and it seems like only about a third of the residents in the county "affiliate" in the first place.  (Although I'm guessing that a majority of the other two thirds were likely to bite into chocolate bunnies at some point today regardless of the religious overtones to the weekend.)

As to *which* religiously overtoned holiday was celebrated, the numbers still seem to speak to lots and lots of Easter folk ... and a much smaller percentage of Passover peeps ... but, for context, that smaller percentage in the county is the largest percentage of such a classification in the state due to the large numbers of the Jews in the southern Florida environs.  (Not that there's anything wrong with that ... it's just that I have a hard time relating to any group who banded together to ban bacon.)

So whether you're chowing down on the Easter ham at your dinner table tonight or you were noshing on the matzo at your Seder last evening ... here's to a happy holiday Sunday to you and yours from me and mine.

2002 RELIGIOUS AFFILIATION BREAKDOWN:
http://www.city-data.com/county/religion/Broward-County-FL.html

THE UPDATED LISTINGS FOR THE COUNTY:
http://www.bestplaces.net/religion/county/florida/broward

IN THE CONTEXT OF THE STATE:
http://www.answers.com/Q/What_are_Florida%27s_main_religions

Random Soapbox for Saturday 4/4/15

I don't mean to go off on a rave here, but ...

... it's soon Watchathon Week (for those of you with Comcast/Xfinity like me).

Lookit -- I claim my addiction.  That way it doesn't control my life (too much).  And my addiction is television.  I've managed to reduce some aspects ... for instance, I only read one TVGuide instead of the three or four I used to cross-reference.  And I only watch History, H2 or PBS specials if they show up on demand, so I'm not trolling the channels at the beginning of the week to fill up the DVR.

On the flip side, though, there is the fact that the DVR is in a perpetual state of 98+% capacity (the watching of things is just to make room for more things).  And there's that spreadsheet I maintain of programs with their on-demand expiration dates (if relevant) that is color coded and keeps track of that which is currently airing and that which I'm hoping to find.

But hey, if I weren't so devoted, I might have missed the uber-talented Lennie James when he drops by *any* show to improve the quality of *any* production (currently on The Walking Dead ... but there was Hung and Jericho before that) ... or I might have missed the recent uber-creative episode of Modern Family that took place entirely on i-products (although I still refuse to drink the i-kool-aid, so take *that*, product placement).

I've said it before ... I might miss the latest movies to hit the megaplex, but give me characters who stick around in whom you can become invested (note to self:  I might have unexplored abandonment issues), being able to watch them in the comfort of your own living space ... and I'm hooked.

So ... if you need to reach me for anything, please delay your contacting of me until April 13th.  Much appreciated ...

THE 2015 LINE-UP HAS BEEN REVEALED:
http://xfinity.comcast.net/blogs/tv/2015/02/23/watchathon-week-2015-coming-april-6-12/

LENNIE JAMES ... MAKES *ANY* SHOW BETTER:
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/people/profiles/my-secret-life-lennie-james-actor-age-42-829091.html

THE MOST MODERN MODERN FAMILY YET:
http://www.slate.com/blogs/browbeat/2015/02/26/modern_family_iphone_episode_connection_lost_and_storytelling.html

Random Flashback for Friday 4/3/15

What was happening twenty years ago in April of 1995 (on or around the 16th, according to the interwebs ..)?

The Easter Bunny was coming to town ... of Lebanon ... and he (or she?  but I'm pretty sure this was Travis H again) was stopping by Hills, where little ole me was happily employed.

So of course I stopped whatever I was doing that day to pause for a Polaroid (note:  things people don't really say any more) with the in-demand bunny.  (Actually, I was likely testing the set up, since we provided these to our customers as part of a holiday celebration back in the day.)

Two decades later ... it just seems like the perfect photo to which I should flashback this Friday of the Holy holiday weekend.  To those who celebrate ... Happy Easter to you and yours from me and mine!

(And to those who celebrate the other holy holiday that isn't about candy in baskets ... Happy *that* to you and yours from me and mine as well!)

Random Thought for Thursday 4/2/15

To those of you who celebrate and are getting your Maundy on, "happy" (?) Maundy Thursday to you and yours.

To those of you who live in Indiana ... would that certain law have permitted Jesus to say "not *your* gay feet" during his "“Love one another as I have loved you” command/feet-washing activity (John 13:34)?  Because, if you run the numbers (hey -- it's just statistics ... one out of 12 comes out to 8.3%, which isn't that far off from the gay percentages), I'm guessing at least one of those disciples didn't like fish (meaning, of course, the overabundance of tilapia that was being served at the Last Supper, of course).

To those of you aren't into the Holy Week festivities (for whatever reason), here's hoping you can still latch on to today's biggest takeaway ... "love one another"!

A MAUNDY PRIMER SO YOU CAN GET YOUR MAUNDY ON:
http://www.al.com/living/index.ssf/2015/04/five_things_to_know_about_maun.html

LOTS AND LOTS OF TILAPIA:
http://www.travelujah.com/articles/entry/What-did-Jesus-eat-at-the-Last-Supper-

IN INDIANA, YOU MIGHT BE ABLE TO PASS OVER CERTAIN FEET:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m47pqJ6X9cU

Random Wordplay for Wedensday 4/1/15

The boy who cried move.

Used in a sentence:  "Ok ... for those of you who didn't figure it out, it is true that my Facebook post earlier today about having to move yet again here in Florida was indeed my attempt at a 2015 April Fools' Joke -- so it was just me being "the boy who cried move".

Of course, I will say ... to those who reached out privately to offer comfort or publicly to offer support, my sincerest appreciation for your caring gestures (and here's hoping that you didn't mind too much being "gotcha'd").

To that end, here's *also* hoping that this place in Florida ends up being a bit more long-term than the last one was ... and here's to fools everywhere (present company included).

CAN'T GET ANY BETTER THAN THE ORIGINAL:
https://www.storyarts.org/library/aesops/stories/boy.html

THE HISTORY CHANNEL TREATMENT OF THE HOLIDAY:
http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history/april-fools-tradition-popularized

THE 20 BEST COMPANY TRICKS:
http://www.forbes.com/sites/robertszczerba/2015/04/01/april-fools-the-20-greatest-corporate-pranks-of-all-time/