Random Tune for Tuesday 8/31/10

My company rallies around the return of college campuses each year, and so I've been spending my days at Loyola University in Chicago (DePaul comes after Labor Day) talking with our future leaders (doctors-in-waiting, lawyers-to-be, etc.). In a different time (pre-recession, pre-Ipod), we turned to music as motivation and our regional leadership created a burnCD/(mix-tape?). In honor of our busiest time of the year, here's the tune that our marketing manager picked back in 2005, representing our center's hope to get through to the other side (i.e. mid-October) --"if only we don't bend and break ... if only we don't suffocate". Rethinking those lyrics, maybe resignation was what we going for instead of motivation ...

IF ONLY I DON'T BEND AND BREAK, I'LL MEET YOU ON THE OTHER SIDE:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KcwmQUi6Nn4

Random Memorial for Monday 8/30/10

Gone but not forgotten: watching awards shows on TV and NOT recognizing most of the dead people.

Here's an unexpected sign of aging -- when I was younger, almost everyone in those sections of those shows was on the screen in black-and-white and I could recall very few of the names and faces. Then, seemingly overnight, I crossed some generational geriatric graveyard line-in-the-sand, and now it seems like those from my own personal connection to pop culture are dropping like flies -- a phenomenon with which I had to deal most recently while watching the Emmys. [Betty White, you best stay busy, as your fellow golden friends are leaving us like they're featured in some horrible sequel's sequel to Final Destination (Golden Miami -- in 3D!).]

In memoriam segments that I used to just use as a bathroom break as they had little meaning to me, you are missed.

THE EMMYs MAINTAINS AN IN MEMORIAM DATABASE (KINDA MORBID, NO?)
http://www.emmys.tv/awards/in-memoriam

LAST GIRL STANDING (KINDA MORBID, NO?):
http://abcnews.go.com/Entertainment/article/goodbye-rue-mcclanahan-betty-white-now-remaining-golden/story?id=10816162

THE WIKI SAYS SO - FINAL DESTINATION FIVE IS GREENLIT (KINDA OVERKILL, NO?):
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Final_Destination

Random Scandal Sheet for Sunday 8/29/10

What Chicago is talking about this week:

It is prime moving season in town! With such a transient population (sometimes it seems like everyone in the midwest started somewhere else but ended up here in Chicago), you can guarantee that the weekends closest to Sep 1 and Apr 1 will have the streets full of double-parked U-hauls, over-filled dumpsters of abandoned items, apartments by the score being visited by the friendly-or-not more-or-less luck-of-the-draw utility men (have women broken into the cableman industry?), and dozens of folks realizing that the dawn of middle age is more around the corner than first thought as they end the day debilitated with super-sore muscles.

[And me, I jumped on the bandwagon, completing the easiest move I've ever done -- 15 feet across the back porch into a different unit on the same floor of my near-Wrigley apartment building. With a better layout and it being just a little farther from the roar and rumble of the red line, the move was scheduled for later this fall after the landlord replaced the windows, but I was surprised to find out last Tuesday that he wanted it done by 9/1! So, although I new-address-dropped this past Thursday, and mostly for those of you who rebel against the virtual world and enjoy the old fashioned Christmas Card concept, you can send it to: 3702 N Wilton, #2N, Chicago, IL 60613.]

(GET) MOVING IN CHICAGO:
http://www.chicagonow.com/blogs/plus_athlete/2010/06/getting-started-a-field-guide-to-joining-chicagos-active.html

NOMINATE for the MOST POWERFUL WOMEN IN CABLE 2010:
http://www.cablefax.com/cfp/2010powerfulwomen/

OFFICIAL CHANGE OF ADDRESS FORM USPS:
https://moversguide.usps.com/icoa/flow.do?_flowExecutionKey=_c10E50393-0103-1053-B209-FAB73DCE9267_kA1F87514-779C-A323-AEA5-853AE6D68683

Random Soapbox for Saturday 8/28/10

I don't mean to go off on a rant here, but ...

... no really -- I don't mean to go off on a rant here. Instead, I choose to go off on a rave (hey, there's a first time for everything -- and with the phrase "rant and rave" in our lexicon, I feel justified about the switcheroo). In what has been a not-as-planned August, I attended a surprise wedding back home last weekend, and I just completed a surprise move this weekend. [The surprise wedding will have to be its own story told some other time, and as for the move, I'll explain it more fully with tomorrow's post.]

For today, though, I do need to take a moment to rave about the help that family provided, on short notice, to make this apartment switch possible. Dolly and Walter, you can't be thanked enough for taking the time to come in, to help clean, to contribute to the new layout and to do project after project after project over the course of a busy 48 hours. I'm convinced you do even more now that you're retired than you used to do ... and even if we all learned that it takes us a little longer to recover, your help was greatly appreciated.

Thank you for your selflessness! May we all learn to be more giving of our time and talents, with you both as shining examples!!

FAMILY and FRIEND POET-RY PAGE (subscribe to poem of the day):
http://www.familyfriendpoems.com/family/thank-you-poems.asp

THE RANT and RAVE BOUTIQUE:
http://www.rantandravewholesale.com/content/19.htm

THE LOOMIS FAMILY CREST (if the Internet is to be believed):
http://www.houseofnames.com/xq/asp.fc/qx/loomis-family-crest.htm

Random Flashback for Friday 8/27/10

Random Flashback for Friday --> I'm thinking the McHat and late 80's hair will protect the anonymity of this drive-thru employee ... but, regardless, this is my last post in all-homes-days week (see you next summer, hometown o' mine, assuming there are no surprise weddings, deaths or other major life events in the interim) and my last shot of the East Lebanon McDonalds (since, in 1990, the end of the summer marked the end of my employ there). My favorite specific memory when working this same spot 20 years ago -- not being forced to be more productive and make the McSalads (I was old enough to work the tomato slicer), not being the key person passing out the promotional material to Lebanonites (here, have another Monopoly piece), but being witness to the snowball throw from the far far parking lot that made it through the window (like it was a carnival game)!

Random Thought for Thursday 8/26/10

[Look at me, squeezing in a bonus day or two of all-home-days posts.]

Dear PA Turnpike Tunnel administrator:

As I drove through your shortcuts through the Allegheny Mountains last weekend, did I see you taking a picture of me and my vehicle? If so, is that a new post 9/11 thing for my own security and safety or have you been doing it for quite some time in the spirit of there being cameras everywhere in the public nowadays?

If you have been doing it for quite some time, can I have all the copies of the pictures that you took from me over the years?

You might think I'm interested in seeing me in all the vehicles I've had (like my first two Ford Escorts that each were driven to the 100K mark!). Or you might think that I want to see my features age over the years as my face gets fatter and my hair gets shorter (wouldn't that be an interesting art installation piece?). Or you might think that I want to see if you caught me singing along at the top of my voice each time I drove through (and how many times was I doing the same embarrassing song?).

But really I'd just like to look one more time at those who were in the front seat of my car during a particular trip that are no longer with us. Joann, DJ and David -- you are missed.

Thanks in advance for considering my request! And you can send those shots to my new address (just across the hall in my same building from the old apartment):

3702 N Wilton Ave #2N
Chicago, IL 60613

MAYBE SOMEONE'S HOMEWORK PROJECT?:
http://users.zoominternet.net/~jamieo/Turnpike_Page.htm

HOW TO MAKE YOUR CAR GO 100,000 MILES:
http://www.shellstations.com/answerbook/prevention/prevention_4.htm

CAMERAS EVERYWHERE MEANS MORE CRIMINALS CAUGHT:
http://www.wral.com/news/local/story/7331240/

Random Wordplay for Wednesday 8/25/10

Interstate Itinerant.

Used in a sentence: "Years after Lot Lizards initiated the concept, I've discovered that I might aspire to some day be the next in that evolutionary trail -- an Interstate Itinerant."

Driving so much this past weekend (still got all-home-days posts a-comin' your way), I had an epiphany -- if I ever have a psychotic break *, I think I'll take my homeless self to live in a rest stop like the one at Sideling Hill on the PA Turnpike.

Consider the benefits -- watching all kinds of people endlessly, accessing a washroom 24/7, diving into multiple food-based dumpsters, sleeping on the property in the woods nearby, interacting with pet after pet (and maybe adopting one or two that get abandoned), reading news headlines in the paper boxes -- why I've almost talked myself into spending a few months this way right now!

* Please know that I made a promise to myself to postpone three things as far into the future as practicable -- my psychotic break, my first heart attack and having my first child. So far, so good -- I've gotten through a psychotic crack or two relatively unscathed, I've been echocardiogrammed to my doctor's satisfaction in the last few years when I was short of breath and I rest assured that I am my father's son (who was getting the ladies pregnant in his late 50's).

GOOGLE SATELLITE IMAGERY IS CREEPY -- USE IT TO FIND MY FUTURE HOME:
http://maps.google.com/

SCHOLARLY ARTICLE ABSTRACT ON SPERM VIABILITY & SPERM COMPETITION:
http://www.cell.com/current-biology/abstract/S0960-9822(01)00647-9

GOLFERS CAN BE ITINERANT TOO!:
http://www.theitinerantgolfer.com/Courses.aspx?ID=72

Random Tune for Tuesday 8/24/10

Picture it. Lebanon (PA). Mid 80's. A boy who has had one too many exposures to Revelations and it's various interpretations (it's surely the trippiest book in the Bible, no?) and had seen the Thief in the Night series at his local church is awakened by a cataclysmic noise of an explosion and a bright flash of light through his window. Cowering in the corner, he waits for signs that the Rapture occurred.

In the same house, in the attic converted into a bedroom, his step-sister is taping songs off the radio ('cause that's what we did back in the day, waiting for hours on end for the station to play the song we just had to hear) and she manages to capture the moment in her recording.

And, as you might already know, Christ didn't return that day ... but a squirrel sure did sacrifice himself to a transformer in the alley behind Cumberland Street (all-home-days week continues!) and it sure did scare the beJesus out of me!

The song being taped off the radio -- Madness' "Our House", found at the link below:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KwIe_sjKeAY

Random Memorial for Monday 8/23/10

Gone but not forgotten: my hometown personal historic sites.

Even though I am back in Chicago, my trip is still on my mind (and all-home-days theme week continues anyway) so when I read that Salem Lutheran Church was granted its historical status upon its 250th anniversary, I realized that no one was fighting to protect the local landmarks from my youth.

For instance, where are the family of sandstone turtles and other concrete items we crawled all over at the Plaza now that the Plaza isn't the Plaza? It was a Lebanon County birthright to have your picture taken with you sitting in the mouth of the whale. Why couldn't they get landmark status so that our great-great-great-grandchildren could experience shopping the way our town's founders wanted it to be?

And I tend not to live my life with regrets, but I was there when the Key Drive-in was bulldozed over for the WalMart and I did nothing. [Of course, I also rarely went to see a movie there, but I do remember catching a few scenes and trying to not to drive off the road determining which movie was playing when I was going past over the train tracks.] Most importantly, I trudged up and down the rows of flea market tables on more than one Sunday.

Is this what happens when you grow old? You drive around one of your hometowns and lament the loss of locations that played a key part in your past? What happened to my Eli's? Why are those flowers in the middle of that intersection on Cumberland? How many brand new RiteAids do we need? And can't we revive Hills somehow? Or move the St. Gertie's festival back to the Avon playground?

Please someone tell me that White Rock, Dinosaur Rock and the Rockpile at Cornwall are all still in play for today's youths!

Lebanon landmarks that meant so much to me and my personal history, you are missed.

SUBMIT YOUR LISTINGS TO THIS SITE (LEB CO IS WOEFULLY UNDERREPRESENTED):
http://www.pavendors.com/events/lebanon-county/

WiKi LISTINGS OF LEB CO's HISTORIC PLACES:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/National_Register_of_Historic_Places_listings_in_Lebanon_County,_Pennsylvania

HILLS DEPT STORE FACEBOOK PAGE:
http://www.facebook.com/posted.php?id=92491012242&share_id=121847814264&comments=1

Random Scandal Sheet for Sunday 8/22/10

What Chicago/Lebanon/Uniontown/HOME is talking about this week:

As all-home-days week continues, I was hard pressed to determine where I would "spot" myself yesterday -- since I certainly started in Lebanon, but drove across PA for dinner in Uniontown and ended my night on the road on the other side of Columbus as I trekked back to Chicago. And with so many headlines from which to choose -- second chances for fireworks in Palmyra, second chances for fast roads to Pittsburgh in Uniontown and second chances for trials for BlagoBoy, I thought I'd go a little rogue and say what I'm talking about this week.

I've learned that HOME is not so much a physical location as it is a peaceful easy comforting feeling you get when you interact with those for whom you care and those who care about you (made even better when those two groups are the same people)! From reversing roles between father and son visiting mine at the nursing home, to dropping in for quick updates from the closest of friends and family, to bearing witness to an intimate gathering of friends at a special ceremony (just take that for what it is - all secretive and cult-ish as it might sound), to seeing the next generations of our connections face the world with innocent wide-eyed wonder at all the possibilities that exist ... it was very clear to me that we revisit the stories of our past to provide insight to the circumstances of the present -- but that we (together, not alone) control our journeys through the future.

May you pause to appreciate the community you've built that make up your HOME, and may we all rediscover the humanity that binds us together.

PALMYRA FIREWORKS ROUND 2:
http://www.abc27.com/Global/story.asp?S=13026802

THE ROAD THAT WILL CHANGE EVERYTHING:
http://www.pahighways.com/toll/PATurnpike43.html

GET OUT THE DAMN BATMOBILE, BLAGO!:
http://www.suntimes.com/news/metro/blagojevich/index.html

Random Soapbox for Saturday 8/21/10

I don't mean to go off on a rant here, but ...

... when the turnpikes get together for a social evening, does everyone else secretly laugh at PA behind its back?

With the experience of driving across a couple of states this weekend (all-home-days theme week continues), I feel certain that PA has to be the Willy Loman of the group. Or maybe it's the crazy plastic surgery addicted aunt who is always under construction, one project after another, whether she needs it or not. Or perhaps IL, IN and OH just work higher speed limits and more convenient rest stops into any conversation the way that a rich cousin finds a way to mention his new car in every discussion. Or could it be that they wait until PA is just out of earshot and then spill it's dirty little secret about tolls being removed from just one section of the pike (Bedford to Breezewood) to allow politicians easy and cheap access to DC? Or -- just one more --is it the creepy cousin in the corner talking about size when it's clearly known that, at least in this venue, it's all about what you do with what you got.

Whatever the case may be, I'm adjusting my return travel path to avoid you, you over-priced death trap of a toll road.

[All that said, let's still be friends because I love your tunnels and plan to use them in this upcoming Thursday's post. Hugs and kisses.]

SOME PEOPLE REALLY HATE A TOLL ROAD:
http://www.notolls.org.uk/index.htm

AND SOME PEOPLE REALLY LOVE THE PA TURNPIKE TUNNELS:
http://www.rays-hill.com/turnpike/HOME.htm

AND THEN, A SECRET WORLD OF POLITICAL DEALS THAT TRANSLATE TO ROADS:
http://www.aaroads.com/high-priority/corr21.html

Random Flashback for Friday 8/20/10

View this picture now before corporate finds out and makes me remove it for disclosing trade secrets! Although this shot of the East Lebanon Mickey D's from the inside out is from 20 years ago and represents a whole different way of doing things. I think now it's a little more microwave and make each item to order instead of the good old days of calling out the quantity you wanted when you "worked the bin" like some fast food floor of the stock exchange. Look closely and you might see a pickle on the ceiling (they had amazing abilities to stick there for weeks, or so I've heard)! And, in a meta kind of way, I'll be in this same spot on the other side of the counter later today since it is my all-home-days weekend!

Random Thought for Thursday 8/19/10

As I travel across the Great Lakes' states to return to PA for an "emergency" unscheduled trip to my hometown of Lebanon to deal with an issue wrapping up my father's business now that he's permanently in a nursing home, I think it's time for another Theme Week. With credit to Elysburg PA and the annual Labor Day festival called "all home days" that I attended when I was younger because my dad's wife #4 had family up there, here comes a week of "all home" related posts.

First up -- the notion that I'm housed in a HoJo in Breezewood (I just couldn't risk falling asleep at the wheel ... and my original plan to sleep in my car at a rest stop seemed like a project better suited for a younger person), about to catch a few hours sleep with, not sugarplums, but the following visions dancing in my head:

... the handmade peanut butter ice cream made by the Amish girl at Green Dragon
... the view from the top of the rockpile in Cornwall
... the interactions with as many friends and loved ones as I can fit in to a 48 hour period

Off I go to get snug in my bed ...

MODERN TIMES -- GREEN DRAGON REVIEWED ON YELP!:
http://www.yelp.com/biz/j-and-s-green-dragon-market-ephrata

ALL HOME DAYS IN ELYSBURG, PA:
http://www.allhomeday.org/pages/

SUGARPLUM VISIONS IN ATLANTA, GA:
http://www.sugarplum-visions.com/

Random Wordplay for Wednesday 8/18/10

Wordwork.

Used in a sentence, "The original concept for my random Wednesday postings was to provide a word puzzle to be solved -- more like Wordwork than Wordplay; luckily, my natural slacker smart-alec-ness took over and dissuaded me from that path."

Otherwise, my inaugural hump day post would have been something like this.

For a new perspective on seeking wisdom ... google search these four words (once you've deciphered them):

Swastika-wearer less the back half of the bat-eating rocker plus the sound of coco's surname
+
Lincoln's home in your pocket and Swastika wearer's favorite race connected by letter after em
+
actualized Scottish monster (without the incarceration-like word)
+
Linda Blair style vomiting minus the contracted I will

THE WEBSITE WHERE I WANTED YOU TO END UP:
http://www.adlercentenarians.org/index.htm

KEN JENNINGS DOES PICTURE REBUSES (REBI?):
http://ken-jennings.com/blog/?p=2022

LINDA BLAIR NOW RESCUES PIT BULLS:
http://www.lindablairworldheart.org/

Random Tune for Tuesday 8/17/10

Could it be more American than the moment you realize that "you get what you pay for". If you want quality television in the 2000's, you're going to have to be an HBO/Showtime subscriber.

In honor of last night's return of Weeds (which has always been a master class in writing yourself out of corners and for disturbingly unique characters -- and can I already call this as the year croquet master Shane takes front and center stage), I can't include the link to their theme song (since they abandoned Little Boxes a few seasons ago) ... but I can follow the TV trail back through United States of Tara (master class in finding comedy in tragedy), Nurse Jackie (master class in acting courtesy of Edie Falco), Dexter (master class in treating guest stars like Jimmy and John), True Blood (master class in allegory), Generation Kill (master class in addressing headlines fictionally), Six Feet Under (master class in facing death to embrace life) -- all the way back to the original source of OZ (master class in male soap opera), whose theme song is at the link below (and, this is pay TV folks, so be forewarned prior to clicking through).

WARNING THEME SONG w QUICK SHOTS OF GRAPHIC IMAGES (prison, not wizard of...):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RJUhkNl1jhQ&feature=related

Random Memorial for Monday 8/16/10

Gone but not forgotten: the original Weebles.

I don't mean the silly re-launch ones from this millennium but the plastic/metal ones with the weight inside that lived in a plastic tree-house (accessible by a roundish swing). And I certainly don't mean the Disney-fied ones but the papa and the mama and the puppy dog. And I for sure don't mean the tumbler ones that can magically land on their feet or their head (because the weight inside moves), but the kind that lived in the same "neighborhood" we built when I was younger when we involved the Play-Skool Little People in their castle and Sesame Street set(and they were wooden, not plastic --except for the square ones in the Holiday Inn, which only came in plastic).

Upon reflection, I was definitely not a progressive child as I never created any mixed families (Weebles only with with Weebles back then). Of course, it's common knowledge now that had a Weeble taken up with a Little Person (not the TLC kind, but the Play-skool kind), there would have been no stopping someone from choosing the Weeble puppy dog as a mate (I think that's the way those love-control arguments work). Plus, would the Weebles and their plus-size appearance have been subject to discrimination as the obese are treated in today's society? Who knows what other of society's ills might have become evident in the toy town social microcosm I created had I known then what I know now?

You that would wobble but wouldn't fall down AND could also choke a baby, you are missed.

HISTORY OF THE MIGHTY WEEBLE:
http://www.weebles-wobble.com/

WEEBLES AS THEY SHOULD BE (CLASSIC PHOTO):
http://hubpages.com/hub/Weebles-Wobble-but-they-dont-fall-down

OBESE FEEL MORE DISCRIMINATED AGAINST:
http://www.time.com/time/health/article/0,8599,1730150,00.html

Random Scandal Sheet for Sunday 8/15/10

What Chicago is talking about this week:

... a news story that brings to mind forced sterilization as a "punishment".

I know that's a buzz phrase that might push buttons considering its unhappy past with the Nazis and the eugenics movement, but it is exactly what came to mind upon hearing about the malnourished twins found dead in an unventilated attic this weekend -- mistreated by their 21 year old mother. Obviously, they've only disclosed one side of the story, but really, how many other sides could there possibly be? This should be some fictional twist in a V.C. Andrews creepy Dollanganger book and never the lead on the news. Apparently, there are three older siblings also at risk. Please ... please ... please ... don't have any more kids!

OVERHEATED ATTIC TRAGEDY:
http://www.chicagobreakingnews.com/2010/08/chicago-police-kimora-kamari-roberson-child-endangerment-regina-lofton-fernwood.html

AS DEBATED IN THE NETHERLANDS:
http://www.nrc.nl/international/Features/article2251634.ece/Should_drug-addicted_mothers_be_stopped_from_having_children

DONATE HOWEVER YOU CAN: GIFTS OF TIME, $ or BY INCREASING AWARENESS:
http://www.savethechildren.org/

Random Soapbox for Saturday 8/14/10

I don't mean to go off on a rant here, but ...

... more and more commercials have simply crossed a line and must be called out. I wrote a long time ago about how disturbed I was by the cartoon bear father and son conversation about toilet paper getting stuck in their ass hairs, and that questionable marketing message has been topped by new and even more disturbing images.

Subtle, but still tasteless -- I actually felt dirty after viewing the lady schick commercial that features a woman walking past various shrubbery. As she passes, the overgrown bushes all morph into neat and trimmed landscaping. I think subliminal messaging should be used for good!

Dangerous and tasteless -- Claire Danes, I loved you in Temple Grandin and hope you get the Emmy. But please stop shilling for the miracle eyelash-growing drug that includes this beaut: "permanent discoloration of the pigmentation of your eye may occur".

Hie thee to Skinemax kind of tasteless -- Dear Bare Lifts and Shake Weight advertisers, I do not need to see the quadrant shot of each cup size with one bosom duct taped higher than the other, nor do I appreciate the graphic nature of the action shots you use in your demo for the shakey thing. If I want that kind of titillation (pun fully intended), I'll seek it out in a different delivery channel.

Tasteless in that it is an affront to my intelligence -- Mr. Dyson, your redesigned vacuum cleaner is cute, I'll admit it. But to hear you tell me that I've been under attack by buffeted and choppy air from annoying fan blades for all my life and that you are here to save me just smacks of Wonka level marketing manipulation. I fear if you are not stopped, you will redesign the whole world.

And, in closing, please don't think the irony of this situation is lost on me -- by devoting this space to this rant, the marketers have won. Tastelessness aside, I'm talking about their creations. And, even if their images haunt me, they've won again since they are in my nightmares. In the eternal words of Snidely Whiplash, "Curses, foiled again."

CLAIRE DANES AS TEMPLE GRANDIN:
http://www.nj.com/entertainment/tv/index.ssf/2010/02/interview_claire_danes_temple.html

WHY DO CARTOON BEARS NEVER WEAR PANTS?:
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/HalfDressedCartoonAnimal

SNIDELY WHIPLASH BIO:
http://bullwinkle.toonzone.net/snidely.htm

Random Flashback for Friday 8/13/10

Random Flashback for Friday --> How do you class up a McDonald's on the east end of my home town of Lebanon (where I was working in 1990)? Add a water feature (thanks Gerry Smetana)! Of note, neither the Festival Foods nor the Hardees at this part of the strip are still there -- although I think the corn fields in front of the drivers' center still get harvested each year. Another benefit of the koi pond -- extra supplies during lent when we would run out of Filet-o-Fish! Oh, and please note that no children were harmed in the making of this mini-pond (at least to the best of my knowledge) as this was not a McPlay area!

Random Thought for Thursday 8/12/10

I was saved from having to dissect a cat since I didn't have AP Bio, but I cut up a frog and a rat and an earthworm or two when I was learning me some science in high school and I can remember a few things from that experience (specifically that the smell of formaldehyde lingers and that our vivisected rat was pregnant). Now, the Japanese come to the rescue of what the young kids apparently say is a controversial educational practice by scientifically engineering see-through animals! In 2007, it was frogs. In 2010, it was see-through goldfish (which I guess should be renamed transluci-fish since the color scheme's all wrong). Can see-through cats be next in 2013 (and is Grandma Wrinkles an early prototype)?

Combined with the news this week that we are close to releasing a scientifically engineered mosquito into the wild to defeat malaria (with unknown consequences), the sci fi scariness coming to a theatre near you might suddenly seem like a documentary!

RELEASE THE MOSQUITO KRAKEN!:
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/184194/researchers_develop_malariaresistant.html?cat=5

I SEE RIGHT THROUGH YOU, TRANSLUCI-FISH:
http://www.google.com/hostednews/afp/article/ALeqM5gBcxuX2KezA7BF3rIfZjfEdmsv_A

WHAT DOES FORMALDEHYDE SMELL LIKE?:
http://www.answerbag.com/q_view/1136092

Random Wordplay for Wednesday 8/11/10

Feces Piper.

Used in a sentence, "I don't know if it's because of my early attraction to odd trivia or growing up with Dave Letterman's Top Ten List (the original which was decidedly more random and not the Late Show Top Ten List once he switched networks), but I have to say that the 10 Worst Jobs in Science as printed in Popular Science caught my eye -- particularly the listing for Feces Piper."

In this economy, I guess any job is a good job, but in the spirit of Dolly's 9to5, Johnny Paycheck's "Take This Job and Shove It", and the two-snaps-and-a-slide-exit of the JetBlue flight attendant, I have to think these folks might want to be looking elsewhere: Armpit Detective,
Sneeze Modeler, Dung Curator, Doomsday Fact-checker, Oceanic-snot Diver, Tissue Reaper, Bad-dance Observer, Bean Counter, Whale Slasher and Feces Piper (who is "someone who feeds fecal matter through a tube from a healthy person into a person infected with the C. difficile bacteria to fight it").

Best science job to which you can aspire (if you can get it): Multi-species Baby Tickler.

GO HERE FOR OTHER JOB DESCRIPTIONS:
http://www.usatoday.com/tech/science/2010-03-22-worstjobs18_ST_N.htm

INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY DISPUTE WHEN NETWORK SWITCHING:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0106053/trivia

AND THEN THERE's THIS SAME LIST REFERENCED BY A DANCE PSYCHOLOGIST (??!):
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/dance-psychology/201003/the-worst-job-in-science

Random Tune for Tuesday 8/10/10

Coming so soon after 9/11, I have to admit that this song used to give me chills when Joe Nichols sang that "unbendable steel bends". But that moment-in-time reference point aside, this is one of those songs where the lyrics really just speak for themselves when you need a little fuel to keep your stubborn streak well-fired:

Unsinkable ships, sink
Unbreakable walls, break
Sometimes the things you think would never happen
Happen just like that
Unbendable steel, bends
If the fury of the wind is unstoppable
I've learned to never underestimate
The impossible

A LITTLE COUNTRIFIED MAN OF LA MANCHA TYPE MESSAGE:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ce-pUKsJM6w&feature=av2e

Random Memorial for Monday 8/9/10

Gone but not forgotten: wartime Trojan Horse tactics.


I should start with the obligatory disclaimers. Overall, I prefer peace. For everyone, everywhere. But if that goal isn't attainable, then I think the Cold War was pretty bitchin', all things considered (ideological battles over economic systems, walls to help people understand who goes where, nuclear chicken keeping everyone in ultimate check, and the military machine protecting us from recessions going too far off the deep end).

My least favorite state of world affairs -- the current reprise of the crusades (religious extremism makes folks do the darnedest things) in which we find ourselves. And, in this high-stakes game of Risk (depending on your age -- that was a board game, or a video game, or, new this summer, an Iphone app), there seems to be a sensitivity to so-called "deception warfare". In the spirit of 1943's Operation Mincemeat (corpse dumped off the coast of Spain with the wrong invasion plans for the Nazis to find) comes a recent Marine IED task force's creative approach of spreading the word that our latest IED-spotting machinery couldn't detect the types of bombs that the enemy was using. The enemy then starts hiding the bombs like grandma hides the Easter eggs for the 2 year olds. And then we swoop in with fully functioning equipment and blow up those easier to find IEDs.

I'm sure that "Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me" translates to Pashto, but to think that extra sensitivity toward creative gotchas THAT ULTIMATELY SAVE LIVES means that our troops don't feel empowered to practice a little deception warfare THAT ULTIMATELY SAVES LIVES seems a little نېم سړې شاته. As usual, I'm still most certain that the truth is in the middle, so I'm not advocating for Abu Ghraib style free-reign to human nature's darker fringes (OK -- I know in war it's kill or be killed), but surely there's room in the military for creativity.

"Which like a steed of monstrous height appear'd:
The sides were plank'd with pine; they feign'd it made
For their return, and this the vow they paid.
Thus they pretend, but in the hollow side
Selected numbers of their soldiers hide ..."

... and other such tricks of the wartime trade, you are too important to be missed.

THE ARTICLE I READ THAT STARTED IT ALL:
http://www.usatoday.com/news/world/2010-06-15-iraq--afghanistan_N.htm

A PAX ON US ALL:
http://www.theshalomcenter.org/index.php?q=node/1314

MINCEMEAT, or THE MAN WHO NEVER WAS:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0049471/

FUN WITH INTERNET TRANSLATORS (crossing my fingers that it's idiom proof):
http://www.stars21.com/translator/english_to_pashto.html

Random Scandal Sheet for Sunday 8/8/10

Here's what Chicago is talking about this week:

Even people people would think twice about venturing forth this weekend in my neighborhood.

How's this for a recipe for agoraphobia -- start with the nearly quarter million people expected to stop by and see the nation's largest street fair a few blocks away, mix in two home Cubs games at Wrigley (admittedly with lighter crowds than usual in lame duck Lou's final weeks), sprinkle in the young-uns and the 'hood-lums returning in the evening heat-stricken (baked?) still under the influence of Lollapalooza, turn up the heat and humidity of what's been a consistently over-warmed summer, fold in just enough of a rain shower to make people second guess their entertainment choices -- and pour alcohol over everything and everyone for "heightened flavors"!

Sounds like an on the couch-in the AC-with movies on demand kind of day!

WHAT's THE LONGEST STREET NAME?:
http://thelongestlistofthelongeststuffatthelongestdomainnameatlonglast.com/long187.html

BAKER vs. LOU -- NOW IN 20/20 HINDSIGHT SPECTRAVISION!:
http://www.chicagonow.com/blogs/way-things-should-be/2010/07/dusty-baker-a-better-cub-coach-than-lou-piniella.html

THE INTERNET FEEDS THE MARKETPLACE or DRUGS AT LOLLA?:
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20100806204050AAj2V5l

Random Soapbox for Saturday 8/7/10

I don't mean to go off on a rant here, but ...

... when the emperor isn't wearing any clothes, I think we need more people to bloody say so.

For instance, I'm eagerly awaiting 2012 for the following reasons: we'll get to figure out if the Mayan calendar was built on a "flip over and repeat" system or if the skies will truly split asunder that May; we'll get to see an election where we might have a third party candidate place second in the presidential contest (if my prognostication is true that the Tea Party will serve to primarily split the Republican vote that year, and if so, it will be exactly 100 years since Teddy Roosevelt did it, the last time that feat was accomplished -- and being around for that day of voting assumes the skies haven't split asunder that May) and we'll get to see the Olympics in London (unless the skies have split asunder -- you get the idea).

So what specifically is my problem? The 2012 Olympic mascots were announced, and the only thing keeping them from looking even more like a spermatozoa sample is the fact that they have two legs instead of a tail. And these cute-n-cuddlies are supposed to be for children! Where's the my-Teletubby-carries-a-purse type outcry? People are going to be buying tons of merchandise with British sperm splashed across them! Somebody join me in saying something!

HERE'S THE MONEY SHOT OF THE CREEPY MASCOTS (my apologies for the pun):
http://sports.yahoo.com/olympics/vancouver/blog/fourth_place_medal/post/London-unveils-creepy-looking-mascots-for-2012-O?urn=oly-242206

AND A PIC FOR COMPARISON:
http://chismetime.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/sperm-structure.jpg

BAD TELETUBBY, BAD:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/276677.stm

Random Flashback for Friday 8/6/10

So what is the best thing about the shore? Is it the taste of the salt-water taffy? The smell of your shoulder skin crisping in the sun? The power of the waves as you dare take a few more steps further out into the ocean? (The sight of Snooki being taken away by the police?) Not so much for me -- I enjoy when the sun sets and all the human hubbub dies down (as in this classic Ocean City MD shot) so that you can truly appreciate the taste of the salt in the air, the smell of your own sun-kissed skin as it cools in the evening breezes, the power of nature in full force with waves beating repeatedly against the beaches as its done for eons (and perhaps even the sight of Snooki, but in the distance, being taken away by those same police).

Random Thought for Thursday 8/5/10

Four things I learned from watching competition based reality shows this week (proving that lessons can be found even in mindless drivel for those who keep their eyes wide open):

1.) The famine in Ethiopia is over. [TOP CHEF has an un-ironic quickfire challenge to create the best Ethiopian dish -- so all of those little distended bellies that were images in my youth are now just bad memories.]

2.) Not all creative types can sleep on it and awake with genius moves. [WORK OF ART sends home the artist who ended up topless for every challenge while OCD guy lives to nap (and impress) another day.]

3.) Being an architect is apparently the new poli sci major when it comes to having a degree and not being sure what to do with it. [Both DESIGN STAR and PROJECT RUNWAY each have architects competing for their respective prizes.]

4.) If you're going to DVR a show on Oxygen, get the original airing or risk seeing a commercial in the first break that gives away who goes home later that hour. [Not that DYAO is nail-biting entertainment, mind you, but really?]

IS THERE OR ISN'T THERE A FAMINE IN ETHIOPIA?:
http://www.ethiopianreview.com/content/12129

PBS SAYS CREATIVITY DOES COME WHILE YOU SLEEP:
http://www.pbs.org/thisemotionallife/topic/creativity/creativity

BESIDES COMPETITION REALITY SHOWS, OTHER THINGS TO DO AS AN ARCHITECT:
http://www.pbs.org/thisemotionallife/topic/creativity/creativity

Random Wordplay for Wednesday 8/4/10

San Juan, we have a PR PR problem.

Used in a sentence, "With the recent cancellation of all Puerto Rican birth certificates and decision that the Boriquan born must apply for a new ultra-safe memorialization of their birth, I have to think that in San Juan, we have a PR PR problem."

Back home, growing up in PA, those with Puerto Rican connections were well represented -- and my affinity toward their culture continued with my seven years living in Logan Square near the largest PR community in Chicago and my back to back pre-recession vacations to the San Juan area (after which I wanted to rephrase the old bubble bath commercial to "coqui, coqui, take me away"). To think that their collective birthings are now all called into question (just when "show me your papers" is taking off across the country) breaks my heart a little. Surely there was a better way to accomplish this paperwork hygiene task than this!

AND IF YOU ARE BORIQUAN BORN AND DIDN'T KNOW THE RULE, 9/30 IS YOUR NEW DEADLINE:
http://articles.courant.com/2010-07-24/news/hc-puerto-rico-birth-certificates-07220100724_1_puerto-ricans-birth-certificates-puerto-rico

COQUI CAPTURED FOR YOUTUBE:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4mNIkCCPf6s&feature=related

MY 2008 VACATION PICS ON FB:
http://www.facebook.com/troy.neidermyer#!/album.php?aid=1513&id=1843633569

Random Tune for Tuesday 8/3/10

Inspired by the news coverage of Mel Gibson's latest string of rants (yep, I'm trying to balance the high-brow PBS documentary references of yesterday with a little low-brow entertainment news today), I had to go double check the lyrics of this song that popped into my head to make sure that "being buried" in the not-promised rose garden wasn't somehow part of the verse. Because, after all, hatred is so much easier to take when it's wrapped up in a song. [And yes, domestic violence is never funny, I know.] So, Oksana and all others - enjoy Martina McBride's version (with special guest Lynne Anderson) at the link below.

YOUR HEAD ON A SILVER PLATTER, MAYBE?:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RZ8UEnqP9zw

Random Memorial for Monday 8/2/10

Gone but not forgotten: uncommonly eccentric folk who found the way to wield political power to create and save America's national parks.

I'm using the summer to knock down the total % on the old DVR (the Emmys are just four weeks away and fall TV premiers shortly thereafter), and I've finally seen all of the Ken Burns' series on the National Parks. As someone who has never been to one (although I've traipsed through multiple state versions of the same and I'm assuming those trails from the zoo in Palm Springs didn't encroach on the lands of the Joshua Tree), I highly recommend the series (although I have to think that recommending going to the actual sites is probably where I should be focusing those type of energies)!

Of particular note, keep an eye on John Muir (of eccentric behavior that does nothing to disguise his passion for that in which he believes) and Stephen Mather (a manic depressive whose mental well-being was most improved by getting out to experience nature) and take a look at all they accomplished on behalf of the National Park systems.

He who said: "Take a course in good water and air; and in the eternal youth of Nature you may renew your own", you are missed.

AND MORE MUIR QUOTES:
http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/j/john_muir.html

MUIR FEATURED AT NPS.GOV:
http://www.nps.gov/jomu/

MATHER WIKI-BIO with INTERACTIVE MAP OF NATIONAL PARKS:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stephen_Mather

SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL PBS STATIONS:
http://www.pbs.org/aboutpbs/aboutpbs_support.html

Random Scandal Sheet for Sunday 8/1/10

What Chicago is talking about this week:

A nearby mobile home is bound to be featured on the Animal Planet show on animal hoarders.

In what I believe is the closest trailer park to Chicago, two guys are doing nothing to improve the stereotype of the unknowns lurking therein as their abode was raided this weekend to save what could be saved of some 30 animals that had taken over -- cats, rabbits, snakes and frogs (not all of them still alive) whose collective stench forced the owners (currently missing) to take to sleeping outdoors.

Lest I be called a hypocrite, know that I'm an anthropomorphizer extraordinaire when it comes to pets in the family. One of the best things about visiting the family compound in Indiana (in addition to spending time with the relatives), is that I get to interact with the two dogs, three cats, one rabbit, one turtle and a few fish that share that space. And I don't forget that my Lebanon apartment in the late nineties included a ferret, a pit bull, a kitten and a box turtle as well. But at no time has the smell of those added family members driven me to sleep outside.

May animal rescue find good homes for those saved from this squalor -- and may I stay on the upward side of this slippery slope so that I am never seen on the other side of this news story.

WITH RESPECT TO GEORGE ORWELL, HERE's "ANIMAL TRAILER":
http://www.cltv.com/news/wgntv-elk-grove-dead-animals-july31,0,2326348.story

IT's RAINING CATS and DOGS FACEBOOK PHOTO ALBUM:
http://www.facebook.com/troy.neidermyer#!/album.php?aid=6452&id=1843633569

GO HERE TO FIND HELP FOR ANIMALS AND HELP FOR HOARDERS:
http://animal.discovery.com/tv/confessions-animal-hoarding/