Random Memorial for Monday 6/30/14

Gone but not forgotten:  that feeling of being scared to eat the mangos in the front yard.

The signs were there.  They were falling with much more frequency ... without the aid of a wind storm.  Those that did fall were finally showing some other color on the outside than that bright green hue.  The car ran over one in the driveway and it instantly smooshed it out in one piece.

But watching the islanders* walk by and look longingly at them ... and a few of them casing the joint to see if they could jump the fence and harvest a few dozen (they go through the 'hood, "stealing" them during the day, and then selling them a few corners away at four for a dollar) ... and the one yesterday whom I watched pick two and then slink back the side of the fence to hide them in the bushes until a return trip ... *that's* how it was evidently clear that it was time to finally try them.

Hence this meal ... scallops with a mango salsa (c) 2014.  Manga!

*Note ... I do not use islanders pejoratively (you know, like some people use "urban" to hide their hate) but descriptively ... that's exactly a contingent in the 'hood.

So with mangos o plenty, that hesitation to put things in my mouth that fell into the same spot where the puppies poop, you will now be missed.

280 RECIPES FROM WHICH TO CHOOSE:
http://allrecipes.com/recipes/fruits-and-vegetables/fruits/mangos/

BUT MINE ARE JUST NOT THAT COLOR:
http://www.wikihow.com/Tell-if-a-Mango-Is-Ripe

THEY MUST BE THE "OTHERS":
http://www.clrsearch.com/Fort-Lauderdale-Demographics/FL/Population-by-Race-and-Ethnicity

Random Scandal Sheet for Sunday 6/29/14

What southern Florida is talking about this week:

Sports.  It's taken over the lead news stories.

Having spent almost half of the recent dozen years in Chicago in the shadow of the Wrigley bleachers (just a spit and a holler away, on the other side of the 'el'), I'm used to these summer months being taken over by baseball talk ... but apparently this area doesn't have a team (well, at least a team about which anyone seems to wants to speak).

Instead, of late, it's all about how apparently some French guy Le-something-or-other is thinking about leaving town to play bball elsewhere (or, if he's not thinking about it, he's playing the money game to get a little more coin to cover his bills for chronic cramping).  I didn't even know the French were very bball focused!  Truth be told, it seems most locals are very quick to say au revoir to this Monsieur James.

And then today, based on what I saw that African man wearing at the local Home Depot (so bright!) and how the drunk south-of-the-border couple were behaving at the JCPenney when it opened at noon, it would appear that there's some international sports contest catching everyone's attention down here (it's a very diverse area, in case you didn't know).  It's unclear if any Americans are part of that event, a conclusion I make solely based on the fact that I've yet to come across anyone hootin' and hollerin' dressed in our flag as I'm out and about.

PS ... In case you didn't gather, I rarely watch ESPN, and then, usually with the volume off so I can just see the pretty pictures and read the graphics.

IT'S ALL ABOUT THE ALMIGHTY DOLLAR:
http://www.forbes.com/sites/mikeozanian/2014/06/24/lebron-james-leaving-miami-could-cut-heats-value-by-100-million/

UMMM ... IF I EVER WATCHED WITH THE SOUND ON, I'D MAYBE HAVE AN OPINION:
http://toplayusout.wordpress.com/2009/01/14/the-five-biggest-douchebags-on-espn/

SEE I KNEW SOMETHING INTERNATIONAL WAS GOING ON:
http://miami.cbslocal.com/top-lists/top-sports-bars-to-watch-world-cup-soccer-in-south-florida/

Random Soapbox for Saturday 6/28/14

I don't mean to go off on a rant here, but ...

I'm so old.  You can reach that conclusion through the clues scattered throughout the story below (I've bolded them [at least eight] in case you don't understand this gimmick):

I was eating dinner at 5pm on Friday night at a local BBQ joint here in Florida where I now live, sitting in the outside patio.  At the intersection nearby, someone started blowing her horn.  All the old men that were also eating at that time turned to see the cause of the noise, and watched a young girl in an SUV step on the gas after having to wait for someone who was turning without use of the turn signal.  As she passed by, everyone could see that she was clearly on her cell phone the whole time, to which a number of us said, practically in unison, something to effect "of kids nowadays are so impatient AND on always on those darn phones to boot".  With a few shakes of our heads for good measure, we returned to our meals, before heading home to take a quick nap.

Which is all the long way to say ... is my AARP subscription in the mail yet?

*THIS* DIXIE PIG:
http://www.insidefortlauderdale.com/menu/2764/Dixie-Pig-BarBQ-Oakland-Park

NOT *THIS* DIXIE PIG:
http://stephenking.wikia.com/wiki/The_Dixie_Pig

I THINK IT MIGHT BE TIME:
http://www.aarp.org/magazine/

Random Flashback for Friday 6/27/14

With this month in 2014 coming to a close, my pictures from the vacation we all took as a family twenty years ago this month in 1994 will also wrap up.

It's the second year in a row I've had "hunting camp" photos in the month of June ... and next year (aka 2015 posing as 1995) will be the third of the summer-hunting-camp-vacation-trifecta (Zuckerberg-willing, of course).

But that's next year.  Tonight, it's thinking back to the time of the evening on that trip when the kids all went to bed (this is my sister Sherry and her twin's daughter Casey Jo, surrounded by other vacationers from that year who weren't related [I think]), so the adults could sit around the fire and relax and listen to the sounds of the woods of central PA ... and maybe do a little bonding of which we had been robbed due to the circumstances of how we raised.

And there might have been alcohol.  And mix tapes.  And s'mores.  Although maybe not in that order.

Random Thought for Thursday 6/26/14

Further confirming the known fact that I am indeed addicted to television (an addiction which I've previously acknowledged) ... I had a dream recently that ended with a "coming next week" teaser.

I'm hoping that I soon have one replete with a theme song and rolling credits.

Dream fingers crossed.

WELL NOW IT LOOKS LIKE I MIGHT DIE:
http://www.deccanchronicle.com/140626/lifestyle-health-and-wellbeing/article/are-you-addicted-tv-be-careful-you-may-die-early

IF I SPEND THE NIGHT ON THIS SITE, IT SHOULD PROMPT SOME DREAM THEMES:
http://www.tripletsandus.com/80s/tvtheme2.htm

ALL THINGS DREAMS ...:
http://www.dreamtree.com/inside/dream-resources/dream-faqs/

Random Wordplay for Wednesday 6/25/14

Mango of Damocles.

Used in a sentence:  "Rare is the occasion where I can be convinced that fewer words are better ... but tonight is one of those nights in that I will not say anything else (other than what I've already belaboredly said) ... and I won't even provide my customary links in triplicate below my post ... instead I will just permit this one run-on sentence (as I am wont to do) ... replete with ellipses and parenthetical asides ... with no *additional* words (beyond the ones I'm using to explain this concept, in a very beat-it-to-death kind of way) other than the caption for this photo of ... Mango of Damocles."

Random Tune for Tuesday 6/24/14

How can June possibly be ending so quickly ... June, the month of Billy Joel, as per my decree, as per finding the satellite radio station dedicated to him and listening to it whenever I'm in the car these last few weeks.

But alas, June is ending (the next tune for Tuesday will be July 1) and so is this series (for now, anyway) ... and I want to end it on a high note ... with something upbeat ... featuring a "syncopated melodic line and regularly accented accompaniment" (thanks interwebs, for defining ragtime so succinctly) ... something that could be the song of the summer (whether 1974 or 2014).

And so, until we meet again Billy Joel, let's close out the month with *this* tune playing in the background!

NOT AN ODDLY FLAVORED LADY BY-PRODUCT DESPITE HOW IT SOUNDS:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mKrd0lv_p1c

Random Memorial for Monday 6/23/14

Gone but not forgotten:  Jan Hooks.

Lest I start something unintentionally, she's not dead or anything so drastic ... and I'm not trying to mimic the Betty White hoax that is hitting the interwebs this week.  It's just that Jan's not working nearly as much as she should be, at least according to my opinion.

Sure there was the sighting of her on 30 Rock now nearly four years ago.  And quite a few channels have reruns of her Carlene from Designing Women in rotation to start to satisfy my need to spend some kind of time with her.  And if you're really really lucky, you'll catch an SNL from the late eighties (which is when I started watching that seminal show) to get that funny bone tickled in just the right way.  And the luckiest of all are those who somehow get to re-watch her skit of "Love is a Dream" with the late Phil Hartman.

Jan joins Bonnie (that's Hunt in case you're not a regular reader) as someone that needs to be put back on the television at everyone's earliest convenience, because the world would be a better place for it, because the public demands it, and because, at least for me, she is so missed.

MORE JAN HOOKS, PLEASE:
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0393660/?ref_=nmbio_bio_nm

BECAUSE YOU CAN'T WATCH THIS AND NOT FALL IN LOVE WITH HER:
https://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=1777471750167

RANKINGS ARE RIDICULOUS, BUT SHE SHOULD BE HIGHER THAN NUMBER 15:
http://www.nerve.com/entertainment/ranked/ranked-every-emsaturday-night-live-em-cast-member-ever-from-worst-to-best

Random Scandal Sheet for Sunday 6/22/14

What southern Florida is talking about this week:

... the continued adventures of our generation's badass pope.

To be clear, I'm not Catholic ... so I'll hide behind that fact in case this post crosses any lines (although I guess that means that he ultimately can't do to me what he did to the mafiosos [mafiosoes?] this weekend).

Has there been anyone else more willing to mix it up and shake off years of old-fashioned stodginess than Francis?  And isn't it about time?  I'm not sure if this all ends with the whole movement being disbanded or not but it's fascinating to watch.  [I'll let *you* decide exactly what I mean by "movement" here ...]

CREDIT WHERE CREDIT IS DUE (FOR THAT IMAGE):
http://americanilliterati.blogspot.com/2010/08/gibbon-why-was-christianity-successful.html

NO CATHOLICISM FOR YOU!:
http://www.theguardian.com/world/2014/jun/22/pope-francis-excommunicates-mafia

OH WAIT ... THERE HAVE BEEN *OTHER* BADASSES:
http://listverse.com/2013/02/02/10-crazy-badass-popes/

Random Soapbox for Saturday 6/21/14

I don't mean to go off on a rave here, but ...

[remember -- one rave a month to offset my rants every other Saturday ... good for the soul ...]

... it's (now officially) summer 2014!

So begins the season of flip-flops and few clothes and walks on the beach and corn on the cob and watermelon and moving grass and beautiful sunshiny days in the high 80's and freeze pops and glowing tans and sand and ice cream and festivals and ... WAIT A MINUTE ... that's been *the life* since early February when the big move to Florida was executed.

June 21 and a henge of stones be darned ... it's summer all the time where I am, yo!

THAT'S MAD ALAN IN THE PHOTO THERE (AND NOT ME):
http://vimeo.com/44980660

PROBABLY SHOULD HAVE POSTED THIS A BIT EARLIER:
http://www.english-heritage.org.uk/daysout/properties/stonehenge/summer-solstice/?lang=en

IT MAY BE SUMMER ALL THE TIME BUT A BOY CAN STILL LEARN SOME THINGS:
http://www.tampabay.com/sports/outdoors/surviving-a-florida-summer/2127775

Random Flashback for Friday 6/20/14

As mentioned *last* week, I have two more weeks of photos to provide hearkening back to one of my summer 1994 vacations twenty years ago.

And this one this week captures one of the main recreational activities of the weekend (others being beer drinking, deer watching, s'mores making and family bonding) ... river tubing!

I'll tell you this ... I'm hard pressed to think of something more completely relaxing than floating down a river, ass in a tube, meandering along dependent on the current, lost in your own thoughts, observing nature going past, all during a multi-hour excursion.

Now *that's* a vacation!

Random Thought for Thursday 6/19/14

Okay Adam M ... I'm randomly putting you on the spot ...

In the spirit of continuous transformation and innovation, I need your input on the classic "calories per dollar" analysis that you explained to me in the naughts.

Namely, I ate at Joe's (Crab Shack) a few weeks back, and although I made my menu choices based on the ratio of cost of my purchase compared with the amount of calories I thought I'd take in ... just like you trained me and any number of others who called the Lincoln Park office their home away from home... I *forgot* to take into account the amount of calories I had to expend to get at the actual morsels of food that fed the equation in the first place.

Which made me think of our hunter/gatherer ancestors, as it struck me that their decision making regarding "which sustenance shall I seek tonight" must have included that type of review.  Then, I'm guessing ... over the years, and as we all get lazier and sustenance got easier to acquire, that historical perspective somehow got overtaken by the consumeristic view of things.

So I'm thinking let's 2.0 this concept and pay homage to the past (both ancient and recent) and modify the thought process to account for that variable.  (Of course, for all I know, you *already* take this into account and I just didn't make it to the Calories-per-dollar second lesson.)

EAT AT JOE'S!:
http://joescrabshack.com/?gclid=CJaS-uSyh78CFVFp7Aod9GYAuA

WAIT A MINUTE ... THIS CONCEPT IS FROM THE 1800's?:
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2954450/

OH YEAH IT'S EVERYWHERE:
http://www.innovationexcellence.com/blog/2012/05/14/building-a-culture-of-continuous-innovation/

Random Wordplay for Wednesday 6/18/14

Financially Challenged.  Underbanked.  Thrifty Elders.  Working Class Moms.  Bikers/Hell's Angels.  Bible Lifestyle.  Leans Left.  Political Conservative.  Urban Scramble.  Mobile Mixer.  Rural Everlasting.

Used in the style of Jeopardy by providing the question for which the above list is the answer ... "What are the labels used by data brokers as recently disclosed in an FTC report?"

Not to get you all paranoid ... which in and of itself doesn't mean that everyone is watching you ... but in the Orwellian world of BIG DATA in which we live, you have been reduced to a label that befits your online presence, documented decisions (including voting habits), shopping purchases, financial information, etc, etc, etc.  And even though some of us may suffer from a sense of exaggerated uniqueness, in the aggregated portfolio, we're all just part of a group like the ones listed out above.

So think about *that* before your next google search (and don't worry about trying to go clear your cache and cookies ... once a rural everlaster, always a rural everlaster).  And welcome to a brave new world (yes, I know, I'm mixing my Aldous with my George, but if the future apocalyptic vision fits, then soma for us all ...)  If it concerns you, try going off the grid.  But don't be surprise if Grid Goer Offer isn't just another one of their categories ...

FTC'S ANNOUNCEMENT:
http://www.pbs.org/newshour/bb/companies-tracking-online-footsteps-transparent-says-ftc/

MEET YOUR BIG DATA BROKER:
http://www.washingtonpost.com/business/technology/brokers-use-billions-of-data-points-to-profile-americans/2014/05/27/b4207b96-e5b2-11e3-a86b-362fd5443d19_story.html

MAYBE LABELS MAKE SENSE AFTER ALL:
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/12/17/AR2010121704195.html

Random Tune for Tuesday 6/17/14

It's week 3 of Billy Joel month!

[As a reminder, it's Billy Joel month in the first place only because I said so after listening to the dedicated satellite radio station of his for five non stop hours coming back from the concert in Jacksonville last month.]

I can partially blame the post-graduate education I got that has rewired my brain to be able to argue both sides (or, based on the amount of debt I carry, maybe that should be "credit" instead of blame) ... and I can partially thank a well honed curiosity ... and I can understand that part of it is a developed anti-authoritarian streak that tends not to accept things at face value or "just because" ... and a good bit of this attitude is just from getting older and having kept my eyes wide open throughout the decades I've been living ...

But whatever it is, this tune "Shades of Grey" from *late* Billy Joel that I consider a reprise of the *early* Billy Joel "Angry Young Man" does strike a chord ... "the more I find out the less that I know" and ... as political season tends to be non-stop, "the only people I fear are those who never have doubts" ... preach it brother Billy!

BA BA BADUWA BA BA BADUWA BA BA BADUWA TAA:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CopYqp0HZkY

Random Memorial for Monday 6/16/14

Gone but not forgotten:  Alexander Imich.

He died just a week ago, and when he did, he held the title of "world's oldest man".  Born in 1903, he was just over twenty years older than my own father would have been were he still living (which, of course, only serves to illustrate the generation canyon that there was between the two of us).

And God bless anyone whose body hasn't yet given out on them beyond what is an increasing life expectancy age, but I have to tell you ... I'm not sure that I'm aspiring to make it that long (assuming that any number of end of world scenarios fizzle out like the Mayan Apocalypse last year and don't interfere in the first place).  I mean I can take a few more decades -- don't get me wrong -- but I have to think that even modern medical miracles can't really provide a quality of life that I'd really want as a "supercentenarian".

To those in Japan who now hold that title (oldest man and oldest woman) ... more power to them ... and to the one who told reporters that "the aeroplane" was the greatest invention he saw in his lifetime ... you will be missed.

IN CASE YOU DIDN'T SEE THE STORY:
http://www.nytimes.com/2014/06/09/nyregion/worlds-oldest-man-though-only-briefly-dies-at-111-in-new-york.html?_r=0

IN CASE YOU DIDN'T REALIZE WE'RE ALL GETTING SO MUCH OLDER:
http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/08/19/us-life-expectancy-at-all-time-high/

IN CASE YOU WANTED TO GO TO JAPAN TO SING HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THESE GUYS:
http://www.japantimes.co.jp/news/2014/06/10/national/japan-now-home-worlds-oldest-man-woman/#.U5-qQfldWSo

Random Scandal Sheet for Sunday 6/15/14

What southern Florida is talking about this week:

Father's Day.

I had my moment of remembrance this past Wednesday ... at the oddest of times for the strangest of reasons.  Mine was during "the mowing of the lawn", when I was all but a paper towel head band and an ice cold watermelon chaser away from *being* my dad.  Of course, my shorts were much tamer than the ones he liked to wear during the task (also on display in these photos I found in the box of picture goodies I got when he passed away).

Keeping it reals (as the kids say ... or as they used to say) ... it's not like we had the closest of relationships (no need to rehash that in this post, especially when it's so easy to find with the blog search powered by the google), but it does feel like a little bit of vindication in how I'm clearly his son (speaking of not rehashing, there's probably no need to bring up that parenting gem of one of his wives who cast dispersions on my true paternity as part of the manipulations that manifested from her own jealousy).

So bottom line ... no need to rehash ... and enjoy these classic photos of classic cars and classic fashion choices ... and happy father's day to you and yours.

And in lieu of my customary triplicate of companion links, here's the bonus photo demonstrating that same sartorial sense (and look ... turns out wife beaters were practically in my DNA after all) ...

Random Soapbox for Saturday 6/14/14

I don't mean to go off on a rant here, but ...

... as predicted, the other shoe has dropped with regards to my Florida lifestyle.

To be fair, I'm still enjoying the heck out of the relocation.  And I'm surprised by the number of people at work who have seen me on a video camera and said, "My, my but Florida is treating you well" (I must work with a lot more Southern belles than I realized).  I'm not sure if it's the fact that I can do my remote working from the front porch patio table whilst "the boys" play in the yard, or how a little bit of sun brings out the 1/16 Native American in me and makes me glow, but all in all, it's still a very good thing for me to have become a Floridian.

Today I'm not talking about things on which I've already commented ... like the fact that I can't use my Chicago bank card in any way other than a debit that captures my pin because I live in areas designated for high fraud ... or the fact that any rise in sea level could make me rue the fact that I don't know how to swim ... or the fact that one needs to be the MOST defensive driver on the road and/or the MOST defensive walker on the sidewalk due to a general lacking of driving skills seen, well, *everywhere*.

Nope, the "other shoes" I'm referencing today are all personal ones ...

1.)  I don't think I've stopped scratching since my arrival.  And no it's not crabs (although I did have some of those at Joe's Shack the other week, and they were pretty delicious not counting for the fact that they are just too much work for too little morsels).  And no, Dolly L, it's not sand fleas (at least I hope not).  Nor is it real fleas (my puppies get bathed, thank you very much).  But I think my flip-flopped-feet and the ankles nearby them have some kind of allergy to what substitutes as grass in these parts.  And no I don't go barefoot, as my welcome packet of information collected from current Floridians included the command to *never* go barefoot in this state (see Sherry G ... I listen).

2.)  I can no longer wear my disposable contacts for any length of time.  At first, I thought I had switched brands (in Chicago, I could get away with the same pair for about two months, particularly since I only put them in when I was going driving in the day time and wearing sunglasses, or being social in da club or whatnot), but it turns out they are the same thing I used to have, except now, after a few hours, they are toast.  Not sure if it's the ever-present particles of sand or some kind of humidity that shrivels them while they are in my eyes ... but it's a particularly painful bit of misery with which I must deal, completely living up to their characterization of disposable as they do.

3.)  I'll just say it outright ... I have underboob sweat.  Mind you, I've lost poundage during the big move, but I did not experience this back home in Chitown.  Of course (and luckily so), it's very infrequently visible because I'm topless most hours of the day down here, but when I do have to put on a shirt (occasionally for those video calls with work, or again, when I'm out running errands of being social in da club), I'll be damned if my breasteses ... I mean my pecseses ... don't have a tendency to sweat through that which I'm wearing.

All that aside ... even though I'm a top-of-foot-itching, eye-rubbing, chest-sweating Florida fool, I'm still quite content and very happy to be where I am ...

GOTS TO GET EDUCATED:
http://www.pollenlibrary.com/Local/Significant/Allergens/in/Broward%20County/FL/

GOTS TO SEE WHAT OTHER FOLKS DO:
http://honda-tech.com/showthread.php?t=669249

GOTS TO THINK THIS MAY BE A JOKE:
http://www.thebuzz.com/onair/the-rod-ryan-show-52901/theres-a-special-deodorant-designed-just-12001182

Random Flashback for Friday 6/13/14

What was I doing twenty years ago around this time ... mid June 1994?  HINT:  It's the same thing I was doing around this time mid June 1993 and mid June 1995.

I was joining family members, loved ones (and some strangers this year), leaving the cars by the side of the road and getting in a boat to cross this river to get to the other side ... where someone had mowed a pass through the natural PA grassland to get to "the family hunting camp" on the other side (the bonus photo).

To be clear, this is all a family secret, so I daresn't disclose the exact location ... but it is fair to say that it is somewhere in the part of my home state (my home home state of PA, not my current home state of FL or my recent home state of IL) where the deer and the antelope and the bear and the pheasant and the rabbits all roam (actually ... scratch the antelope ... don't think they're necessarily in the keystone state).

And I can't say more for fear that I might not ever get invited by the next generation when it's their turn to host the gatherings ... but I will say that I have two more weeks of photos to close out the month on the next two Fridays ...

Random Thought for Thursday 6/12/14

In exactly one month, *this creature* will once again greet me (and for all of you Lebanites, I will not be back home and this is not a picture of the creature in the plaza, which, of course, no longer exists anyway).

For the third year in a row, courtesy of my employer, I will be off to Vegas in mid July (when triple digit temps are the norm and conference rooms are discounted accordingly), with some bonus time beforehand to check some things off of a list.

Should you have any suggestions, send me a private message with the details ... in the running now for this trip is to sightsee the Hoover Dam, to zipline in the mall, to order from the secret menu at In-n-Out (oh how I've missed you once those annual Palm Springs trips ended), to get Gordon Ramsay to yell at us in his burger joint on the strip, to ride a thrill ride at the top of the Stratosphere and to people watch up a storm.

And, of course, will *this* be the year I finally run into Erin M?

Regardless, I'm open to suggestions should you have any to share ...

I GOT EXCITED *UNTIL* I NOTICED THE DATE OF THIS POST:
http://the305.com/2013/04/01/in-n-out-burger-announces-5-miami-locations-for-2014/

MUST NOT WEIGH MORE THAN 300 LBS TO RIDE THIS RIDE:
http://www.vegas.com/attractions/off-the-strip/slotzilla-las-vegas/

AS CLOSE TO A GUARANTEE FOR THIS YEAR AS CAN BE:
http://www.usbr.gov/lc/hooverdam/service/

Random Wordplay for Wednesday 6/11/14

TurDucHen.

Used in a sentence:  "I consider this item, a TurDucHen for sale at the local Publix, a marketing fail, as the poor choice to not use the K in duck and chicken and to instead focus on the H completely changes the images I get about birds getting stuffed inside each other's holes."

Oh Big Easy ... how could you not vet this name and the effect it would have on prurient passersby like me?

THE ONE WITH A D(o)UCHE:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T0_eIaUzBAg

THE ONE WITH A DUCK:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k-Co1Ecv_8g

TURNS OUT CHICKENS DO SOMETIMES GET DOUCHED DOWN ON THE FARM:
http://www.backyardchickens.com/t/722516/douching-a-chicken

Random Tune for Tuesday 6/10/14

And ... week 2 of Billy Joel month!

Why, might you ask?  Well, kind of just because I said so.

[And also because I found the all-Billy-Joel satellite radio station on a recent trip, and listening to it filled my noggin with all kinds of memories.]

Including this tune, the anthem of my youth.  As a late bloomer with a fierce independent streak, I had a decade after high school where I went non stop taking in all kinds of experiences, crazy ambitious for a juvenile, always in a hurry, doing so much in the few hours in a day, pushing life to the borderline, so ahead of myself that I forgot what I needed -- all the lyrical phrases in the song were on point.

But I can distinctly remember blasting this song on the car radio, often late at night/early in the morning as that's when I liked to travel back then, letting the words of Billy Joel remind me that I could afford to lose a day or two.  That I could dial it back ... that I could make decisions with an eye toward my long term happiness and not just about the moment ... but that I also didn't have to constantly be executing on a five year plan (so communist of me, anyway, no?) ...

And the ultimate epiphany ... that I could get what I truly wanted or I could just get old.  I chose going after what I wanted.  And I couldn't be more pleased in the decisions I've made ... that have led me every closer to my Vienna.  Yes, indeed, dream on but don't imagine they'll all come true ... when will you realize ... Vienna waits for you!

DON'T YOU KNOW THAT ONLY FOOLS ARE SATISFIED:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oZdiXvDU4P0&feature=kp

Random Memorial for Monday 6/9/14

Gone but not forgotten:  the letter L.

Oh NFL ... so quick* to join the movement to endumben** America by deciding that your fans' minds would be blown by a 50th Super Bowl that was graphically represented by the letter L.

How's about this for a design plan instead?  In the accompanying image, I present the Babylonian counting system to use for upcoming super games of football (and sure, why not rewrite history while we're at it and refer retroactively to past contests with this system).  Let's combat the endumbening with a little enwisening***?

That tradition that has stood for 50 years**** now gone forever*****, you will be missed.

*quick it was not ... as there were apparently 73 versions of the logo before the announcement

**that's my new favorite word ... as I perfect my plans to embrace agoraphobia in order to keep myself safe in this crazed world in which we live ... I'm going to blame the endumbifying of our society as the number one reason to go all me-and-mine-in-my-compound-thank-you-very-much within the next few years

***I had "ensmartening" first, but spell check wanted to change that to "inseminating", which is not the point I was trying to make

***well, 47 years, since the roman numeraling only started with the third game, and it will be present this year, just not in 2016

****and by forever, I mean only 365 days, since, despite all the hootin and hollerin, I've learned today it's only a one year hiatus

TO HELL WITH THE L:
http://www.nydailynews.com/sports/football/roman-numerals-50th-super-bowl-article-1.1816996

OH WAIT ... IT'S JUST FOR ONE YEAR?:
http://espn.go.com/nfl/story/_/id/11031941/nfl-take-one-year-hiatus-roman-numerals-super-bowl-50

OH YEAH I'M GONNA START USING THIS ONE A LOT:
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=endumbened

Random Scandal Sheet for Sunday 6/8/14

What southern Florida is talking about this week:

The start of rainy season.

Well, to be fair, it's the start of "hurricane" season, but this area hasn't been hit since Wilma did in 2005 and the current forecast isn't for much, so "rainy" wins out for day to day

Not that an eye needn't be kept on the 7 day, 5 day and 3 day cones of probability should a storm start to form (double negative alert ... that means it should be).  And not that a jug or two of water shouldn't be stored in the freezer (again ... they should).  And not that a way to tell your boss that your modem is fried so the "working from home" thing will be in jeopardy doesn't need to be established (funny thing ... *that* already happened this month when a lightning storm "struck" the area [see what I did there!])  And not that some dried goods and flashlights and batteries and such shouldn't be put in a box in the laundry room (still waiting to do that sometime soon).

But for now, it's figuring out how to deal with the reality of the front yard (see above and below [and remember ... I can't swim]) when, for example, a pop up storm arrives a few minutes before you were going to mow the lawn ... and it's learning how the puppies are going to react to continued downfalls.  Luckily, the ground is so dry that those puddles disappear pretty quickly as soon as the downpours end, but I am curious to see what any sustained rain means to the old homestead.

UNDERSTANDING THE CONES:
http://www.nhc.noaa.gov/aboutcone.shtml

TAX HOLIDAY ENDS TODAY:
http://dor.myflorida.com/dor/tips/tip14a01-03.pdf

WE'RE #1 ... WAIT A MINUTE ...:
http://www.weather.com/outlook/weather-news/news/articles/top5-most-vulnerable-overdue-hurricane-cities_2010-07-14?page=6

Random Soapbox for Saturday 6/7/14

I don't mean to go off on a rant here, but ...

... my dealer suddenly, and without notice, went out of business.

I recognize it's a tough economy out there in times like these, but it does put me in a bind.  I spent the first part of the week searching to find my fix on whatever street corner I could ... at the 7-11, multiple pharmacies, even the grocery store parking lot.

I finally found someone on the inside that clued me in to the fact that the product simply could no longer be found in the southern Florida area and I had no choice but to wait it out until someone else stepped up to the plate.  And there's no timeline for when things might go back to normal for me.

It will be one week tomorrow since I've had anything ... and I'm not sure how this experience might change me.  I mean, once I knew the situation, I was able to try to mollify my addiction pangs with substitutes, but it's so unsettling to go about my day knowing that I can't match the quality of that to which I had become accustomed.

This spiraling sucks.  I'm asking for help.  Not in the "accompany me to a program" kind of way.  But if anyone outside of this area has a current TVGuide they can send my way, I'd be forever indebted.  Here's hoping that the vendor who supplies local stores with the magazine weeklies that just closed up shop gets replaced quickly so that my summer isn't ruined.  (And thanks Barnes and Noble employee who gave me that inside scoop so I stopped my futile searching and started coping ...)

AM I GOING TO HAVE TO DO LIKE THE KIDS DO AND DO THIS ALL ONLINE?:
http://www.tvguide.com/keywords/tv-guide-magazine

THIS IS TOO MUCH INFORMATION FOR ME TO NOT GO DOWN A TVGUIDE-HOLE:
http://tvlistings.aol.com/listings/fl/plantation/comcast-broward-county/FL65018%7CX

GIVING CREDIT WHERE CREDIT IS DUE FOR THE INSIDER INFORMATION:
http://www.barnesandnoble.com/

Random Flashback for Friday 6/6/14

Well, if nothing else, I'm consistent.

Approximately twenty years ago in the summer of 1994 (signs point to early July instead of early June) I was visiting friends whom I met from all my time spent at Hills Department Store in Lebanon PA.

I do have a few fuzzy pics of that gathering with Millie H and her brood ... but the one clear photo I have is of the family puppy dog ... because, let's face it.  People are great and all ... but when it comes to me, I'm most interested in connecting with your family pets.

Or, said another way, this is not the only picture of someone else's pet whom I befriended that is in all of my photo albums ...

Random Thought for Thursday 6/5/14

So I'll let you draw your own conclusions ...

... but when I hear Gary Busey say:  "If you're like me, you like talking to things", I have to admit that I do (and I may have spoken to the corner of the wall that I ran into last night) ... which, I guess, makes me like Gary Busey.

Of course, when I saw the SNL skit of Mark Wahlberg talking to the animals, I also have to admit that I do that too (especially now in Florida, where I have lizards and worms and birds all around) ... which, I guess, makes me also like Mark Wahlberg.

So there's my therapy for today ... I'm a cross between Gary Busey and Mark Wahlberg.  And I'm going to keep on talking to things.  So there.  And say "HI" to your mother for me.

THE AFOREMENTIONED G BUSEY AD:
http://www.marketmenot.com/amazon-fire-tv-gary-busey-talking-to-things-commercial/

THE AFOREMENTIONED SNL SKIT:
http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=05a_1366339453

SEE ... FACEBOOK HAS THERAPEUTIC BENEFITS:
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/office-diaries/201108/top-five-therapeutic-effects-facebook

Random Wordplay for Wednesday 6/4/14

Don Pardo ... tell them what they've won!

Used in a sentence:  "Don Pardo ... tell them what they've won!"

[That weekly Wednesday format doesn't have the same effect when the sentence is the wordplay is the sentence, now does it.]

All that aside, this phrasing is exactly what I heard in my head when I opened up the mail today ... for there, forwarded to me from the erstwhile Chicago address ... were two tickets to the upcoming Rascal Flats concert in Chicago in 10 days (Jun 14th ... in case that's unclear).

Full disclosure:  they are lawn tickets (with a value of $6 each), but if anyone wants to hear Rascal Flats (or Gloriana or Sheryl Crow ... the opening acts), speak NOW or forever hold your peace so I can get them to you in time, as me and mine will not be back in Chicago until sometime in 2015.  Otherwise, I'll be forced to throw $12 in the trash ...

I LOVE THAT THERE IS A MUPPET WIKI:
http://muppet.wikia.com/wiki/Don_Pardo

MORE CONCERT INFORMATION:
http://www.rascalflatts.com/events#.U4_JaHJdX3Q

UNCLEAR AS TO HOW FAR AWAY THE LAWN IS FROM THE STAGE?:
https://seatgeek.com/venues/first-midwest-bank-amphitheatre/seating-chart/

Random Tune for Tuesday 6/3/14

It's Billy Joel month!

Why, you ask?

Because ... on that drive back from Jacksonville a few weeks ago, I stumbled on the Billy Joel satellite station and listened to it for the whole five hour drive home.

It goes without saying that it takes a prolific genius to be able to fill up that much air time with greatest hits and classics and rare gems. and other people covering his hits.  And, as someone who has a good bit of his creative output on cassette tape and CD ('cause I'm old school like that), I was tickled to hear some songs for the very first time.

For instance ... Roberta ... a tune that instantly spoke to me as it so perfectly captured that moment of looking longingly at the ... well .. let's say ... "person in the industry" ... performing in the same establishment ... but so far out of reach financially ... emotionally ... etc.  Boy does it take me back to the good old days (although the good ole days weren't always good and tomorrow ain't as bad as it se-e-eems ... which, by the way, will NOT be one of the songs featured in the next three weeks).  Tough for me, tough for you indeed ...

I'D ASK YOU OVER BUT I CAN'T AFFORD YOU:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YP4HygPI9lA

Random Memorial for Monday 6/2/14

[Almost] Gone but not forgotten:  Arthur Treacher's Fish and Chips.

What with summer in the air, I couldn't help but think of how many times I ate at the Shamokin/Danville Arthur Treacher's Fish and Chips during the summer months when I was younger ... usually as part of some trip to Knoebels or the Bloomsburg Fair (which, technically, was more a fall event) or a picnic/reunion with the father's fourth wife's family.  Let's face it ... Long John Silver's just couldn't ever *even* compare.  The interwebs tell me that it's closed now ... as are many of the brand ... not that I've been up that way for many a moon.

And then ... with this move to Ft. Lauderdale ... there ... embedded in the menu for the local fast food chain of Miami Subs ... was the Treacher name!  Sure enough, what's left of that company is now owned by the same people who own Nathan's Hot Dogs, which are *also* cross-branded with the Miami Subs folks in addition to the Arthur Treacher fish.

Although I do live in a fresh seafood mecca, the occasional opportunity to put some "malt vinegar on me chips" will no longer be missed!

OTHERS REMINISCING:
http://blogs.dallasobserver.com/cityofate/2009/12/days_gone_bite_arthur_treacher.php

THE WEBSITE IS STILL AROUND:
http://www.arthurtreachersfranchising.com/

NOW RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER IN MY NECK OF THE WOODS:
http://miamisubs.com/menu

Random Scandal Sheet for Sunday 6/1/14

What southern Florida is talking about this week ...

... the deadly Nile crocodile that was finally caught in the Everglades

Truth be told, I would suspect that the advice in either case would be to run ... but it does seem like crocs and gators are finding ways to live together in the Glades.  Whether a migration of sorts or the release of exotic pets in the wild (Burmese Python redux anyone?), should I find myself back in that swamp land for a third time (both tours I was on were relatively uneventful, with views of gators from the air boat in areas where they had probably been trapped to make sure paying customers walked away with a view of one or more of the wild creatures), I'll first have to make sure I've studied the difference between the big beasts.

CAPTURED!:
http://www.miamiherald.com/2014/03/12/3991064/two-year-search-for-deadly-nile.html

LITERATURE ON LIVING WITH THESE BEASTS:
http://myfwc.com/conservation/you-conserve/wildlife/gators/

THE KIDDIE VERSION:
http://www.sciencekids.co.nz/sciencefacts/animals/crocodilealligatordifferences.html