I'm so old. You can reach that conclusion through the clues scattered throughout the story below (I've bolded them [at least eight] in case you don't understand this gimmick):
I was eating dinner at 5pm on Friday night at a local BBQ joint here in Florida where I now live, sitting in the outside patio. At the intersection nearby, someone started blowing her horn. All the old men that were also eating at that time turned to see the cause of the noise, and watched a young girl in an SUV step on the gas after having to wait for someone who was turning without use of the turn signal. As she passed by, everyone could see that she was clearly on her cell phone the whole time, to which a number of us said, practically in unison, something to effect "of kids nowadays are so impatient AND on always on those darn phones to boot". With a few shakes of our heads for good measure, we returned to our meals, before heading home to take a quick nap.
Which is all the long way to say ... is my AARP subscription in the mail yet?
*THIS* DIXIE PIG:
http://www.insidefortlauderdale.com/menu/2764/Dixie-Pig-BarBQ-Oakland-Park
NOT *THIS* DIXIE PIG:
http://stephenking.wikia.com/wiki/The_Dixie_Pig
I THINK IT MIGHT BE TIME:
http://www.aarp.org/magazine/
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