Random Soapbox for Saturday 2/28/15

I don't mean to go off on a rant here, but ...

... I want to keep my pooh on this side of the pond.

Fear not ... this won't be a post about the plumbing issues at ye olde Florida homestead (currently being replaced by ye *new* olde Florida homestead -- which is, in itself another post for another day).

Instead ... it's about taking a stand regarding the attempted repatriation of Pooh (as in Winnie The), who currently is on display in the basement of a library in New York.  How did he get there?  Christopher Robin (as in A.A. Milne's son, not the part of me and mine otherwise known as (c) ) *gave* it to his NY publisher way back in the day ... who, in turn, donated it to the New York Power Authority (whatever *that* is) ... which, in turn, donated it to the public library.  And why did Chris do so in the first place?  Because he grew up and didn't need his childhood toys any more (which, admittedly, is a bit of a concept I may not quite completely understand).

Now I will be the first to admit that it can't be denied that the 100 Acre Wood is indeed a place in England.  However, it also can't be denied that these toys are ancient, and, according to the current custodians, might actually fall apart to nothing if moved.

One other question to answer ... why do I care?  It's not just the worldly lessons made famous a la the Tao of Pooh and the Te of Piglet, or the fact that I can still choke up a little *every* time Kenny and Amy sing "I swear that old bear whispered, 'boy, welcome home'".  My strongest personal connection is that "the wonderful thing about tiggers is tiggers are wonderful things" was the mantra of my childhood, given to me by my biological mother and embraced in such a way that I came to love everything about myself that makes me different and special.  (By the way, rabbit's attempt to inhibit and suppress all that makes tigger tigger in that classic story may also explain my slight anti-authoritarian streak.)

Which means ... if I have to choose between a world where Pooh and friends might get destroyed or a world that includes a place where they are looked after in a safe environment -- *regardless* of specific country of location -- I will choose the status quo without a hesitation.

Keep Pooh safe (and here in America)!

THE POOH BATTLE (WINNIE THE POOH THAT IS):
http://www.mcclatchydc.com/2014/12/26/251263/for-some-in-britain-reclaiming.html

LIFE HACKS (COURTESY OF WtheP):
http://www.buzzfeed.com/tabathaleggett/28-lessons-winnie-the-pooh-can-teach-you-about-lif-a0kl#.hq1RRK1VV

KEEP POOH WHERE HE IS (BUT MAYBE RETURN THESE ITEMS?):
http://mic.com/articles/76321/9-priceless-artifacts-museums-should-return-to-their-home-countries

Random Flashback for Friday 2/27/15

(As continued from last week ... )

Ah yes.  All good things must come to an end.

Ironically, that works for how this is the last flashback to that trip we all took to DC in January twenty years ago ... and it also pretty much summarizes the thoughts of the person who I think actually took this photo.  When the group of us was out and about, he pulled back from the others and was walking behind, taking it all in.  I checked in with him, and he said something to the effect of how "... this ... *this* would never happen again".

True enough, all of us went on to our adult lives ... and now, with the exception of the Facebook, not everyone is in regular contact with everyone else.  But for that weekend ... the culmination of our coming of age ... we were all the bestest of buddies.  Once and for all, here's how I explained our activities in my annual holiday letter in 1995:

"The group descended on Washington DC in January for an overnight stay on the same night Pearl Jam was in town.  Even though we didn't have a private fortune to scalp tickets, we did hang out in front of the music center and we bought some balloons [note:  you had to be there]  Then we struck out for our own little nighttime tour of the monuments, got our feet wet in the wading pool like Forrest Gump, and took the picture of the ten of us touching the Washington Monument [note:  too dark to include in this series] ..."

One last note:  the picture I *really * regret somehow losing along the way ... five of us that shared a van on the way home stopped by the side of a road, urinating in a corn field, backs turned to the camera.  Had we ever formed a band (not that we were really musically inclined that way or anything), it would have been our album cover *for sure*.  Now, that photo, which was one of those fancy panoramic shots back in the day when that was new to cameras, is lost to the ages ... but at least we have our memories!

Random Thought for Thursday 2/26/15

I don't know what we did before the interwebs.

For instance, it struck me the other day that, although I know Jon has Garfield and Odie and Charlie has Snoopy and Phil has Marmaduke ... I could no longer remember who owned Tom and Jerry.  (By the way ... Tom and Jerry and I go waaaay back ... to my elementary school morning "babysitter" [aka Tom S' mom], where I used to watch Jane Pauley on the TODAY show AND catch the latest [reruns] of the Tom and Jerry toons before walking over to Southeast.)

Luckily, there are specific wikis JUST for Tom and Jerry ... although I might be more confused instead of less after tracking down the full history.

It looks like Mammy the maid (whom I do remember) may have turned into Mammy the owner (at least until she got retired when it was deemed that the character was too racist) and then it was George and Joan, except for when it was The Detective or even Clint the Cobbler (who was an animal abuser of sorts) or at least until the latest iteration, where it's apparently Rick and Ginger.

So now I know ... and now I know I need to set aside another evening of interwebbing to figure out how Butch and Spike and Tyke fit into this history.

EVERYTHING YOU WANTED TO KNOW ABOUT TOM AND JERRY:
http://tomandjerry.wikia.com/wiki/Tom_%26_Jerry_Wiki

INCLUDING ABOUT WHY IT WAS SLAPPED WITH A RACIST WARNING:
http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2014/10/02/is-tom-and-jerry-really-racist.html

BUT IT DID NOT MAKE THE 10 MOST CONTROVERSIAL OF ALL TIME:
http://entertainment.time.com/2010/04/27/top-10-controversial-cartoons/slide/all/

Random Wordplay for Wednesday 2/25/15

60 and better.

Used in a sentence:  "Maybe it's because I'm slowly ageing (and starting to feel it), but probably because I'm now domiciled in southern Florida (which is demographically predominantly in that older age bracket) ... regardless, I thought it clever recently when I saw the grouping of those who were over the age of 59 as '60 and better' (instead of 60 and older)."

It will be interesting to see if the baby boomer group successfully changes our country's general view of the old folks that seems to run opposite of those foreign places that tend to revere and respect the elderly, but I'd like to think that, as I get closer and closer to that magic number (in about a decade-and-a-half), I'll be a better version of what I am today.

Here's hoping!

HERE'S HOW THE AUSSIES DO IT:
https://www.qld.gov.au/seniors/recreation-staying-connected/60-and-better-program/

AND A SOCIAL EXPERIMENT IN MASS:
http://www.meetup.com/60-and-Better-Social-Group/

AND THE HOLLYWOOD VERSION:
http://xfinity.comcast.net/slideshow/entertainment-60andsassy/

Random Tune for Tuesday 2/24/15

You decide for yourself ... is track 32 of 39 from this mixed tape I've been featuring sad or inspirational?

[Checking the liner notes, the mixmaster who found all of the selections way back in the early nineties argued for the latter ...]

Regardless of your decision, it's true that Kathy Mattea's 'Seeds' is one of those songs that makes you think.  Is where we start where we have to end?  Or for those of us who find ourselves in "sandy" situations, can we grow toward the "fertile soil"?

Here's hoping this particular tune gives you some kind of comfort if you "find yourself at a crossroad once again" ...

DREAM COME TRUE OR DREAMING OF THINGS YOU WON'T DO?:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=61D5AU3SG7A

Random Memorial for Monday 2/23/15

Gone but not forgotten:  Pussycat.

Don't recognize Catwoman's assistant from the classic Batman television show (on which I was raised)?

Maybe you know the singer from her being involved in politics a few years back during the last presidential election, re-purposing 'You Don't Own Me' as she did to respond to the government's involvement in female reproductive rights ...

If neither of those ring a bell, then for sure you've at least once entertained the idea of crying at your own party without shame ... seeing as how she's the one who gave the world permission to do so.

In other words ... Lesley Gore (who passed away a week ago) ... you will be missed.

THE CURRENT TRIBUTE SITE:
http://www.lesleygore.com/

LESLEY AS PUSSYCAT:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0XoNF-fzYMw

LESLEY AS POLITICAL CAT:
http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/she-the-people/wp/2012/10/22/1960s-teen-idol-lesley-gore-leads-charge-in-you-dont-own-me-video/

Random Scandal Sheet for Sunday 2/22/15

What southern Florida is talking about this week:

How wonderful Uber is* ...

*Unfortunately, it seems that much of the local opinion praising Uber comes at the cost of the local Haitian cab community.  Yellow Cab, which handles half of the county's cab traffic, has a workforce that is composed of 82-85% Haitians.  (Another statistic to help put this in perspective ... nearly half of all Haitian immigrants in the country live in this state.)

And, as per the article linked to this post, about 10% of all the comments collected by a local politician investigating the phenomenon had undertones about how Uber is better because Uber drivers speak English and present a more polished presence (code phrasing for "aren't Haitian", if you haven't deciphered them).

I did a little digging on the interwebs, and it turns out that Uber is under attack all across the country (and not just locally) for many of the same reasons -- that the whole business model relies on the class structure as it currently exists in society -- "wealthy" folks with smart phones arrange for rides from others like them ... leaving the poor people to take the poor way home.

Of course, from a personal perspective, I'm rarely in a taxi and I've never Uberd anywhere ... so I'm only observing the scandal from a distance without too strong an opinion ...

SOME COMMENTS ARE LESS THAN SUBTLE:
http://www.sun-sentinel.com/local/broward/fl-uber-taxi-haitian-20150207-story.html

ANTI-UBER:
https://umarlee.wordpress.com/2014/03/03/uber-and-airbnb-elitist-possibly-racist-and-designed-to-circumvent-the-law/

PRO-UBER:
http://www.businessinsider.com/uber-has-changed-my-life-and-as-god-is-my-witness-i-will-never-take-a-taxi-again-where-available-2014-1

Random Soapbox for Saturday 2/21/15

I don't mean to go off on a rant here, but ...

... it is (way past) time to retire the penny and the nickel.

Lookit -- I've got nothing against Lincoln or Jefferson, and it's not about the fact that they double dip when it comes to representation on our money.

Instead, it's about their seigniorage (and no, I did not know that word before learning about this circumstance) -- which is the difference between the face value of the coin and the cost to make it.  Although it's been coming down, the 2014 report from the Mint is that pennies cost 1.7 cents to make ... and nickels cost 8 cents.

By the way, dimes and quarters *make* money, so to speak, at 3.9 and 9 cents respectively.  I could see the argument that those two items alone cover the loss of the little coins ... but the statistic I don't have is the volume of each of the items produced to run that math to make sure that's true.

Regardless, in a world hurtling toward all electronic payments (this is *NOT* a plug for bit-coin), it's time to bite the bullet and start simplifying things.  If we did, we'd be following in the footsteps of other countries, including Canada and Australia (which I recognize might ruffle some feathers of those who think we should be setting the lead and not following others [this is a *NOT* a dig at Rudy G]).

Here's the other thing -- I get that it is all but radical to suggest common sense to the behemoth known as the government, but someone's got to play the role of the child in the crowd who sees the damn emperor is naked.

Oh -- and I'm not suggesting this just because I have a collection of pennies and nickels (that's *my* photo accompanying this post) based on my coin-processing rules (about which I've posted before), which would put me in possession of precious items should the ban occur.

No more pennies!  No more nickels!  It's time for a seigniorage revolution!

A WHO'S WHO ON YOUR MONEY:
http://www.biography.com/people/groups/who-is-on-your-money

CANADA DID IT OVER TWO YEARS AGO:
http://www.nytimes.com/2012/04/08/your-money/canada-drops-the-penny-but-will-the-us.html?_r=0

MY COIN PROCESSING STRATEGY:
http://capcognition.blogspot.com/2013/09/random-thought-for-thursday-92613.html

Random Flashback for Friday 2/20/15

(As continued from last week ... 'cause this particular flashback is going all February ...)

Twenty years ago (plus a month) ... our group of young folks were near Washington DC holed up in two shared hotel rooms (officially, the hotel itself was in Alexandria VA, as I recall) on a rare practically-one-of-a-kind group road trip out of state.

The impetus for the journey?  A certain Pearl Jam was in town rocking the vote, and we were there to crash that (not as any political statement ... just because we were much younger then (and much poorer) and so we didn't have actual tickets to the concert.

To pass the time, our resident artists provided temporary tattoos -- the bonus photo below marries the theme with a Pearl Jam iconic image as the subject -- and the bunch of us drank the beer that young kids from central PA drank on occasions like this -- Yuengling Lager (who happily hasn't changed their look for two decades [unlike those of us who once had an overabundance of hair]).

To be clear ... the group of us did NOT just stay in the hotel room ... but that part of the story is the part that is ... to be continued ...

Random Thought for Thursday 2/19/15

Ugh.  I *hate* pulling it out early.

I mean I know, I know ... it's a "better safe than sorry" type solution to what could be an unsatisfactory experience for everyone.

But I would so much rather leave it in until just the right moment for the maximum effect.  After all, if I pull it out early, I just feel like I've wasted some of the experience.

The reality is that it's all about the perfect timing .. and who amongst us in those scenarios is anywhere close to perfect.

But still ... I am always striving to improve ... and one day soon before I get too much older and can't control it at all anymore ... I *will* figure out how to time the microwave popcorn making such that every kernel is popped.  And from that day forward -- no more pulling it out early.

[Note:  the above was my NINTH entry in my occasional creative writing series known as "Super-short sTROYies", which can all be found on the blog by clicking on that listing on the right hand menu.  Oh ... and this entry's title?  'THE PERFECT POP:  #getyourmindoutthegutter'.]

EVERYTHING IS A "HACK" NOW:
http://food-hacks.wonderhowto.com/how-to/secret-perfectly-fluffy-microwave-popcorn-isnt-popcorn-button-0151544/

THE DEVIL IS IN THE POPCORN (NO LITERALLY):
http://healyeatsreal.com/5-reasons-you-should-never-eat-microwave-popcorn/

THE OTHER EIGHT Super-short sTROYies:
http://capcognition.blogspot.com/search/label/Series%3A%20Super-short%20sTROYies

Random Wordplay for Wednesday 2/18/15

Mahershalalhashbaz.

Used in a sentence:  "What with formerly excelling at random bits of Bible trivia courtesy of all my time spent at Hebron church in retreats and the such, how is it that I did not know until seeing it on some pop culture news show that the longest name in the Bible is Mahershalalhashbaz."

Oldest man?  Methusaleh.  Shortest Bible verse?  "Jesus wept." (Which also maybe a Kanye Kardashian tune?)  Yet somehow the second prophetically named child mentioned in Isaiah wasn't on my radar ... until some actor of the same name who added an Ali after was suggested to be cast in some upcoming superhero show or movie.

I double checked several of the family Bibles -- side note, I collect the good books of my forebears (my maternal grandmother, my biological father, my surrogate grandmother, etc, etc) -- and sure enough, there is Mahershalalhashbaz mentioned in every single one.

Well ... now I know, should the proverbial gun every be put to my head.  Mahershalalhashbaz takes the prize.

REGARDING BIBLE NAMES:
https://www.biblegateway.com/resources/all-men-bible/Romantic-History-Bible-Names

REGARDING BIBLE SUPERLATIVES:
http://gotbible.blogspot.com/2008/02/13-super-superlatives-found-in-bible.html

REGARDING BIBLE LONG NAMES:
http://www.netfunny.com/rhf/jokes/94q2/biblenames.html

Random Tune for Tuesday 2/17/15

What was track 31 of 39 on that college era mixed tape I've been going on and on about?

As represented photographically by the accompanying image, and as sung by the youngest of the JoBros in the companion link (well -- the youngest of the bro-trio-group, not the youngest in the Jonas family, as I've learned by fact-checking my reference on the Wiki) ... tonight's tune was the song that *I* sung in order to land the lead in the LVC musical 'The Pajama Game' back in the day.

Mind you ... my singing career nowadays is mostly limited to screaming along at the top of my lungs whilst driving (yep, I'm *that* guy beside you on the road) ... but for that brief moment in time over twenty years ago, *this* was the song that started it all.  Hence its spot on the tapes ... and here near the end of this series ...

ON THAT LONELY BARRICADE AT DAWN:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ahjml-7EFNE

Random Memorial for Monday 2/16/15

Gone but not forgotten:  looking at chicken skin the same way ever again.

In related news ... The Walking Dead has returned!  And it turns out that some of the special effects featured on the show are created with the magical re-purposing of ... yep, you guessed it ... chicken skin.

Me -- I come from a chicken family.  My paternal grandmother used to chop their heads off in the homestead's back yard ... my one uncle used to have a Neidermyer's broasted chicken restaurant ... another uncle still sells chicken in Amish country farmers' markets ... my dad ran poultry processing plants (and met at least two of his wives there ... including the one that bore me [although that was in a hospital, not on the line]).

Point being ... instead of consuming the meat of my family with respect and deference to its place in my personal history ... it is my full intention to tear into my next piece of chicken as if I'm a walker/rotter/zombie about to chow down on a loved one.

The old way I ate my chicken, especially by those eating along with me in the vicinity, you will be missed.

OTHER ZOMBIE TIPS:
http://www.mtv.com/news/1960270/11-best-zombie-makeup-tutorials/

OTHER CHICKEN SKIN TIPS:
http://www.amateurgourmet.com/2013/03/dont-throw-out-that-chicken-skin-also-a-meditation-on-self-control-vs-self-denial.html

OTHER WALKING DEAD TIPS:
http://www.thecredits.org/2013/02/rock-n-roll-make-up-artistry-getting-to-know-the-walking-deads-jake-garber/

Random Scandal Sheet for Sunday 2/15/15

What southern Florida is talking about this week:

How old we are all getting.

But hey -- at least we're not yet Japan, where the sale of adult diapers has exceeded the sale of baby ones.  (Now there's a chilling factoid!)

What we are, though, is a state that claims four of the top ten cities in the country with populations over 65.  Although I'm still officially a decade or two away from contributing to that statistic, it does make me feel right at home now that I've determined I can hurt myself ... just by the way I sleep at night (ah ... youth ... so fleeting ... and shoulder ... so hurting).

What I like best is that Florida embraces its status.  How do I know?  Because the official state song is "Old Folks at Home".  (I can't make this stuff up!)

THE DIAPER STATISTIC:
http://www.lifenews.com/2014/05/08/microcosm-of-japans-massive-underpopulation-more-adult-diapers-sold-than-baby-diapers/

YEP ... A LOT OF THEM ARE HERE IN FLORIDA:
http://money.usnews.com/money/retirement/slideshows/cities-with-the-most-people-over-65/1

WHICH MAKES SENSE AS MUCH AS THE RETIREMENT THING IS PUSHED:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/moira-mcgarvey-/best-places-to-retire_b_4637444.html
 

Random Soapbox for Saturday 2/14/15

I don't mean to go off on a rave here, but ...

[yes, it's my once monthly rave ... and if ever there was a day to rave instead of rant, it seems like the day of St Valentine would be the appropriate one]

... you know, love ... and stuff.

Look, I know that Saturday is my day to wrangle my words into something worthy of a soapbox standing, but it's hard to compete with all those who have come before that have written rhapsodically about the subject of the day.

From REM's creepy stalker version of "I count your eyelashes secretly.  With every one, whisper I love you.  I let you sleep" to Charlie Brown's announcement that he'd "sure like to eat lunch with that little red-headed girl" (revealed in post-revisionist TV special history to be Heather the Homecoming Queen) to the pretty lady-of-a-certain-age in the current Viagra ads who assures us that most people "would rather curl up with a good man than a good book" to the words of Dolly Parton as sung by Whitney Houston about stepping aside because love knows when one person is not what the other needs, who the heck am I to compete with all the creative output that is available.

So I guess I'll just take my inspiration from that all time romantic Paul the Apostle and his rumination on this day's motif, and say, that if the greatest of these really is love, then my hope for you and yours is that you find it and appreciate it and honor it and remember it and that you let it go to see if it comes back to you and so on ... and so on ... and so on ...

SIX BEST LOVE SONGS:
http://www.metrolyrics.com/news-story-my-6-songs-best-love-songs-ever.html

OR, IF YOU HAVE MORE TIME, FIFTY BEST LOVE SONGS:
http://www.billboard.com/articles/list/1538839/top-50-love-songs-of-all-time

OR, IF YOU ARE ALL ALONE AND HAVE TONS OF TIME, ONE HUNDRED BEST:
http://top40.about.com/od/top10lists/tp/top100lovesongs.htm

Random Flashback for Friday 2/13/15

As continued from last week ... (because this tale about the culmination of the coming of age of a certain group of us is going to take all February to tell ...)

Just over twenty years ago, in January of 2015, over the MLK holiday weekend I believe, a group of Lep'non Countians gathered at a townhouse between LHS and the plaza (as it originally existed ... not as it exists now), with several of the participants spending the night before what was to be a trip to our state's capital (and capitol, come to think of it).

These are just a few of those who were headed out on the long weekend "vacation" out of state to a destination where Pearl Jam was playing (although, back in those days, none of us had tickets, which is a point that will come up again later ... aka ... to be continued ...)

Random Thought for Thursday 2/12/15

Back when I was little ... walking to school ... uphill both ways ... barefoot and pregnant ... (well, pregnant with *thought* anyway) ... we celebrated Lincoln's birthday on the 12th and Washington's birthday on the 22nd.

There was none of this one-day-for-all nonsense as a federal holiday on a Monday (a day I've never had off from work, by the way ... not having been a federal employee and all ...).

So in honor of today, the 12th ... the day to remember Lincoln, I went searching the interwebs to find a quote or two to use for today's post.

Which means I also discovered that said interwebs are apparently full of quotes attributed to him in error.  Here's hoping that the two I did find are authentic ... and Happy Lincoln's Birthday to you and yours from me and mine!

MOTIVATIONAL SPEAKER FROM THE GRAVE:
http://everydaypowerblog.com/2014/10/15/famous-quotes-by-abraham-lincoln/

HOPEFULLY THESE ARE LEGIT:
http://www.barrypopik.com/index.php/new_york_city/entry/quotes_on_the_internet_are_becoming_less_and_less_reliable_abraham_lincoln

A PRESIDENTS' DAY PRIMER:
http://www.history.com/topics/holidays/presidents-day

Random Wordplay for Wednesday 2/11/15

Chikungunya Keysquitoes

Used in a sentence:  "I'll try to avoid sounding too apocalyptic ... but the Chikungunya Keysquitoes are (likely) coming."

That is, assuming the FDA grants permission to the company that "manufactures" the genetically modified critters to release them in the Florida Keys AND that the petition to stop that from happening doesn't have its desired effect.  According to Oxitec, said company, the science of it is to combat dengue fever and its tropical disease cousin known as chikungunya.  And, as an "added" benefit, the modified ones have had a fluorescent gene spliced in to make it easier to tell them apart.

I feel like this is probably how zombies start ... so, as practice for that eventual outcome, I fully intend to run -- and run fast -- from any glow-in-the-dark Chikungunya Keysquitoes that head my way.

IT *COULD* HAPPEN:
http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation-now/2015/01/26/millions-gmo-mosquitoes-florida-keys/22341491/

UNLESS IT DOESN'T:
https://www.change.org/p/say-no-to-genetically-modified-mosquitoes-release-in-the-florida-keys

AN EXPLANATION FROM THE COMPANY ITSELF:
http://www.oxitec.com/oxitec-video/more-on-the-science-how-does-oxitec-make-genetically-modified-mosquitoes/

Random Tune for Tuesday 2/10/15

Track 30 of 39 (we're in the home stretch!) marks the return of Mr. Yearwood (just kidding) to the review of the tunes that were on that college-era mixed tape to which I've been referring for the last many many months.  (And, as a reminder, "college-era" for me means the early nineties.)

I'll tell you, I had a bit of a challenge trying to find an accompanying selection on the youtube to pair with this post ... my choices being a myriad of covers of varying quality ... or a karaoke version with only the background ... or, what I settled on, a "fan-originated" version from a recent concert now that Garth is back on tour.

Thinking back to the song ... is there a better lesson to be learned when in college than the message contained therein?  "Just because he may not answer, doesn't mean he don't care ..."


REMEMBER WHEN YOU'RE TALKING TO THE MAN UPSTAIRS:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tbhvw4rhZcc

Random Memorial for Monday 2/9/15

Gone but not forgotten (possibly because they never were really gone in the first place):  S P O R K S !

Gun to my head, I would have sworn that sporks were invented when I was in high school (although, the more interesting point to disclose might be ... who would have a gun to my head regarding that factoid?) ... but it seems that they have been around for much longer than I would have thought, at least according to the interwebs.

So maybe it was that, in the late 80's, the sudden appearance of sporks in the high school cafeteria ushered in the cost-cutting maneuvers of that time (the same ones that brought us the ketchup-counts-as-a-vegetable development, no doubt).

But for whatever the reason, I can't see a spork without going back to LHS circa 1988 or 1989 ... which is exactly where my mind went the other day when I ate at the KFC and took this photo of the fancy version of today's topic ... and it exactly proved that when it comes to the plastic spoon-fork of my youth ... at least by me, you were missed.

A QUICK PRIMER (IN CASE THAT GUN ENDS UP AT YOUR HEAD):
http://inventors.about.com/od/sstartinventors/ss/spork.htm

SOMEONE ELSE CELEBRATES THE SPORK:
https://thesporkreport.wordpress.com/

SOMEONE *ELSE* HATES THE SPORK:
https://www.facebook.com/pages/I-hate-the-plastic-sporks-they-have-at-school-for-lunch/307540301938

Random Scandal Sheet for Sunday 2/8/15

What southern Florida is talking about this week:

Correction ... what Pearl Jam fan club members in southern Florida are talking about this week:

Correction ... what ANALOG Pearl Jam fan club members in southern Florida are talking about this week:

Oh ... who am I kidding.  I'm just trying to find a way to celebrate the fact that the annual fan club album arrived, and now takes its place in the collection in my back room!  Woo-hoo!

AS ANNOUNCED IN SPIN:
http://www.spin.com/articles/eddie-vedder-imagine-cover-john-lennon-pearl-jam/

FAN CLUB MUCH?:
http://pearljam.com/

FUNDRAISER FOR THIS ORGANIZATION:
http://heartbeat.fm/

Random Soapbox for Saturday 2/7/15

I don't mean to go off on a rant here, but ...

... clearly these Vermont teddy bear folks did not quite hit the "age of enlightenment" when it comes to modern times.

From what I've seen on the interwebs, these ads have been around for the last few years, so this might not be news to you.  But, for me, I've only just started seeing them (so either the company's bought more ads this year ... OR I've spent too much time travelling this last fortnight with nothing but hotel room TVs as background).

And they make me feel uncomfortable.  The line about "don't give her flowers 'cause they die", starts out fine enough ... but then the follow up about "don't give her chocolates, 'cause she'll eat them and just ask you if she's fat" seems to be crossing a line.  Add in the fact that commercial models got a lot more porny this year ... and that the whole hunka love bear seems to be being sold as a partner-substitute in a similar vein of a blow up doll just makes it all seem quite a bit off.

Truth be told ... the first time I saw it, I was certain that I was watching a Saturday Night Live type sketch.  The fact that's it real ... makes me want to shower afterwards.

THE 2012 COMMERCIAL, WHICH HAS BEEN PORNED UP FOR 2015:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uojoBHjZohI

SHOULD YOU DISAGREE, GO MAKE A PURCHASE:
http://www.vermontteddybear.com/gift-finder/big-hunka-love.aspx

THEN THERE'S THIS COMPLAINT:
http://www.forbes.com/sites/sabrinaschaeffer/2014/02/14/valentines-day-gifts-speak-to-the-infantilaztion-of-women/

Random Flashback for Friday 2/6/15

Just over twenty years ago ... in the middle of January 1995, a group of individuals gathered in a townhouse in Lebanon PA, with plans to go on a road trip like none other.

The destination was captured in these photos taken along the way ... both of the location and the building upon arrival.

The reason for the trip?  Well that was open to debate and discussion.  As far as the hotel knew, this weekend getaway was a particular organization's reunion weekend event.  As for the city to which we were headed, the fact that Pearl Jam was playing a rock-the-vote event in DC was not a coincidence.  When it came to the participants making the trip, every person was chosen carefully.  And what it came to represent -- the last time that those particular people were all rallied around one task -- that's the stuff of the conclusions of coming of age tales worthy of a movie.  (To be continued ..)

Random Thought for Thursday 2/5/15

Ummm ... isn't the phrase "like a broken record" somewhat anachronistic now?

I mean the younger generation laughs at music on a CD ... let alone a cassette ... or an 8track ... or a ... well ... record.

Maybe the DJ community can keep the phrasing meaningful for just a little bit longer, so as to not confuse the kiddies.  Or maybe we should just change it now to "like an iPod that won't shuffle".

[*These* are the things that occupy my mind ...]

AND THERE ARE MORE OF THEM:
http://kenlevine.blogspot.com/2011/12/words-we-still-use-that-now-make-no.html

EVERYTHING OLD IS NEW AGAIN:
http://blurtonline.com/news/evolution-music-delivery-formats/

AND EVEN MORE, JUST FOR FUN:
http://www.buzzle.com/articles/anachronism-examples-in-literature.html

Random Wordplay for Wednesday 2/4/15

If I should die before I wake, blame it on the bail bonds woman.

Used in a sentence:  "If I should die before I wake, blame it on the bail bonds woman."

Oh right ... this is one of those that is already a sentence.  Plus I should probably provide just a touch more background ... AND expand the potential injury to me to be anything out of the ordinary, up to and including death.

Lest you get the wrong idea ... this is a story about road rage -- not mine but of the ire of the bail bonds woman, who was driving around 70 mph on Oakland Blvd near the vet the Monday night the puppies were picked up after the Super Bowl weekend trip finally ended.  And our car was pulling out of the McDonald's, which made her slow down.

She's apparently not a fan of having to slow down, and so, with horns blaring, she suddenly zoomed across all the lanes (five?) to follow the car, through the Uturn at the light and down to almost the vet's office, where she got in the lane beside the car and threatened us.  Feeling certain she jotted down the license plate number, the *only* thing that takes this to another potential level is that her black SUV had a bail bonds sign on its panel ... and so it crossed my mind that she might have connections to either follow through with her threat OR to involve someone crooked on the right side of the law.  And remember ... just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not after you.

Of course, it's been 48 hours now without any retaliation ... but just in case there's an episode of "Forensic Files" about my strange demise, I wanted to get it out as a matter of public record that the incident occurred (by the way, I *think* the name was Alice or Alcee's Bonds... and that the slogan was "from cell to [something]" and that she was likely a Blatino in her late twenties/early thirties ... so those are the only other facts that I offer to be used during the investigation).

TONIGHT ... a dead man speaks from beyond the grave when an incident described on the Facebook/in a blog points to a troublesome altercation on a Floridian road in the middle of the afternoon ... next on this edition:  If I should die before I wake, blame it on the bail bonds woman."

A LIST (ALTHOUGH NONE OF THEM SEEM TO BE MY WOMAN):
http://www.yellowpages.com/fort-lauderdale-fl/bail-bonds

MY EPISODE (POTENTIALLY):
http://www.forensicfiles.com/

WHO KNEW?  THAT'S A JOSEPH HELLER CATCH-22 QUOTE:
http://www.goodreads.com/author/quotes/3167.Joseph_Heller

Random Tune for Tuesday 2/3/15

Track 29 of 39 in the ongoing series of songs from the college era mixed tape?  This top hit from Canadian Tom Cochrane that, depending on your age, you might know better as the tune by Rascal Flats from Cars.

Or, if even younger, maybe you know the Alvin and the Chipmunks version.

But for us LVC college kids in the early nineties, it was only the original that made it on to the collection.

Not that we were ever out on the highway in the middle of the night when we should have been sleeping or studying or other college-y things.

As he sings ... "there's no load I can't hold, road so rough this I know, I'll be there when the light comes in"

TELL 'EM WE'RE SURVIVORS:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U3sMjm9Eloo

Random Memorial for Monday 2/2/15

Gone but not forgotten:  A-TREAT sodas.

I understand that some of you may not recognize this brand ... but to those of us who used to go to fire company carnivals and pay a dime to toss rings into crates of soda in hopes that we'd win the red cream flavored 32oz bottle like the one in this image, the news that the Allentown company closed abruptly two weeks ago is hard to hear.

[By the way, you could then go to the booth next to it and toss dimes at assorted abandoned mix-matched glasses and dishware and score something in which you could drink it right away!]

A treat from my youth that proved truth in advertising, you will be missed.

BUT WAIT ... MAYBE A SALE?:
http://www.mcall.com/business/mc-a-treat-possible-buyers-20150202-story.html

SO SAD ... STORE IS CLOSED:
http://www.a-treat.com/

SPEAKING OF CARNIVAL GAMES:
http://www.blifaloo.com/info/beat-carnival-games.php

Random Scandal Sheet for Sunday 2/1/15

What New York is talking about this week:

Well ... not me, that's for sure.  Despite how I've been talking about it since arriving here for the annual "chasing the Super Bowl tradition" (off to Phoenix at this time next year).

I know it may not be the most PC thing to say, but I'm not so sure that I love NY like everyone is supposed to.  And it's not just about not liking big city living, seeing as how I lived the heck out Chicago for over a dozen years quite recently.  Although maybe Chicago spoiled me.  What can I say ... I like order, and NY wears its chaos as its swagger.

It's exhausting to have to approach every intersection with the care and caution normally reserved for def-con level threat analysis.  Oh sure they have their little blinking white men signs, but no one pays attention to them (maybe because there are so few white men on the streets?).  On multiple occasions this trip, I actually heard the taxi cab gunning for the pedestrians who dared be in the street.

I like my horns in sections backing up Bruno Mars or James Brown ... instead of honked incessantly (usually at those same pedestrians mentioned above).

I like my trash tidied up in buckets and dumpsters and not thrown in bags covering 85% of the sidewalk.

I think addresses should be at a place and not between two places.  And distances between avenues shouldn't be ten times the distances between streets.

I'm saddened by the fact that the homeless seem homeless-ier, and old people seem older, and lonely people seem lonelier ... and that the eyes of so many passers-by seem so dead.

I like subtlety and do not feel like one should be obligated to say the first thing that one thinks.

I like my drinks supersized.

I like my money, the little bit that I have, and it disappears so quickly here.  So so quickly.

And above all else, I'm a quiet talker and I like to mosey ... and New York doesn't permit me to do either.  So thank you for your hospitality on this fourth trip (the first three were primarily for work, so I didn't have as much time to analyze), but (triple negative alert ['cause that's also how I roll]) I wouldn't be honest if I didn't say that I just don't plan to rush back any time soon.

GET YOUR DEFCON LEVEL RIGHT:
http://www.wikihow.com/Understand-the-Defcon-Scale

IF YOU DON'T LIKE NY, THEN YOU DON'T HAVE TO STAY:
http://www.bkmag.com/2014/02/07/if-you-dont-like-new-york-you-dont-have-to-stay/

HOW THE WHOLE LOVING NEW YORK THING STARTED:
http://www.logoworks.com/blog/a-brief-history-of-the-i-love-new-york-logo/