Used in a sentence: "If I should die before I wake, blame it on the bail bonds woman."
Oh right ... this is one of those that is already a sentence. Plus I should probably provide just a touch more background ... AND expand the potential injury to me to be anything out of the ordinary, up to and including death.
Lest you get the wrong idea ... this is a story about road rage -- not mine but of the ire of the bail bonds woman, who was driving around 70 mph on Oakland Blvd near the vet the Monday night the puppies were picked up after the Super Bowl weekend trip finally ended. And our car was pulling out of the McDonald's, which made her slow down.
She's apparently not a fan of having to slow down, and so, with horns blaring, she suddenly zoomed across all the lanes (five?) to follow the car, through the Uturn at the light and down to almost the vet's office, where she got in the lane beside the car and threatened us. Feeling certain she jotted down the license plate number, the *only* thing that takes this to another potential level is that her black SUV had a bail bonds sign on its panel ... and so it crossed my mind that she might have connections to either follow through with her threat OR to involve someone crooked on the right side of the law. And remember ... just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not after you.
Of course, it's been 48 hours now without any retaliation ... but just in case there's an episode of "Forensic Files" about my strange demise, I wanted to get it out as a matter of public record that the incident occurred (by the way, I *think* the name was Alice or Alcee's Bonds... and that the slogan was "from cell to [something]" and that she was likely a Blatino in her late twenties/early thirties ... so those are the only other facts that I offer to be used during the investigation).
TONIGHT ... a dead man speaks from beyond the grave when an incident described on the Facebook/in a blog points to a troublesome altercation on a Floridian road in the middle of the afternoon ... next on this edition: If I should die before I wake, blame it on the bail bonds woman."
A LIST (ALTHOUGH NONE OF THEM SEEM TO BE MY WOMAN):
http://www.yellowpages.com/fort-lauderdale-fl/bail-bonds
MY EPISODE (POTENTIALLY):
http://www.forensicfiles.com/
WHO KNEW? THAT'S A JOSEPH HELLER CATCH-22 QUOTE:
http://www.goodreads.com/author/quotes/3167.Joseph_Heller
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