Random Scandal Sheet for Sunday 1/31/10

What Chicago is talking about this week:

the headline reads "Oprah's present to herself: Springer spaniel pups". At first, I thought that Oprah rescued these pups from Jerry Springer's place (another Chicago-lebrity of sorts), but it turns out that she rescued them from PAWS, a local no-kill shelter. As I understand it, this family won't be in town too much longer, so enjoy Chicago while you can little puppies -- California will be quite different (unless she's really headed to DC to replace Biden or Hillary and this is all subterfuge. Hmmmm.).

http://www.chicagobreakingnews.com/2010/01/oprahs-latest-conquest-two-springer-spaniel-pups.html

Random Soapbox for Saturday 1/30/10

I don't mean to go off on a rant here, but ...

... we've heard for quite some time that television corrupts the minds of children. Let me be among the first to make this assertion: television also corrupts the minds of our pets.

I'd be willing to bet my recent 4% rising-cost-of-benefits-related-pay-cut (oh yes -- someone fix health care soon please!) that the Columbus family (featured in this news story of a litter of 17 puppies) allowed their beloved dog in the room while watching TLC's "17/18/19 Kids and Counting" about the Duggar Family. At least Kaibosh (the mama dog) beat out the Duggars by having all 17 young 'uns at once -- but don't you think this might be where she got the idea? [By the way -- how will feeding time be coordinated in a way that isn't just cruel and unusual?] Let's start now to petition Comcast and other major cable providers to provide us with ways to pet-block certain programs [unless you think fixing health care is more important, and then please contact your local political representatives to state your opinions.]

http://www.wftv.com/video/22330884/index.html?source=CNN

Random Flashback for Friday 1/29/10

The beginning (and the end) of my attempted modeling career -- this shot was from a social trip that we all took as McDonald's employees to ski somewhere in PA ... Mind you, I wasn't skiing -- just posing in ski boots because it was such an unusual experience. As a matter of fact, when you talk about skiing, you usually think of the wealthy off to Aspen or Killington or Jackson Hole so I can't explain the dissonance between McEmployees making minimum wage and partying at ?Roundtop?

Random Thought for Thursday 1/28/10

What would new actors who are just discovering their craft do if they didn't have those Luna commercials in Chicago in which they could practice ... "free floor--in'" ... or those Life Insurance commercials with the grandad "teaching his daughter about the game of a chess ... because it's a metaphor for life" or the neighbors in a similar ad who look like they've never met chatting over the mailbox in such an old-fashioned way spouting "why that's less than the cost of a postage stamp". With the rising cost of postage, I don't even know if that's an accurate statement any more. I guess everybody needs to start somewhere! For a treat, check out these gems in the same vein.

http://eguiders.com/exclusive/9-craptastic-local-tv-commercials

Random Wordplay for Wednesday 1/27/10

Miss Congealiality.

Used in a sentence: "Did you catch Mary J Blige on American Idol the other week when she was discussing one of the contestants with a beauty pageant past and referenced how she won Miss Congealiality?"

Omitting the n-letter here put a completely different spin on whatever contest that poor girl won. My random mind wanders as it wonders ... was it a bunch of folks with body dysmorphic disorder who were cutters and competed to see whose wound healed first? Was it some True Blood style "Fellowship of the Sun" contest trying to find the fastest congealer as she would leave the vamps unsatisfied? Was it simply product placement and SPAM sponsored that part of the event (those of you who have opened a can of processed meat and scraped off the goo before get this one)? Anyway, we all make mistakes -- and Mary J is an amazing performer who often gives me chills when she sings, so no disrespect intended to her directly. I'm expecting more of the same this Sunday when she duets with Bocelli.

addendum --> Voodoo (or irony, depending on your belief system).

Used as subtext: "After posting, I went to get ready for work and cut myself shaving. It won't stop bleeding! I take it all back, Mary J!"

http://www.mtv.com/news/articles/1630560/20100127/blige_mary_j.jhtml

Random Tune for Tuesday 1/26/10

We were sitting around playing cards or Cranium or some other family bonding experience this past holiday, when this song popped into someone's head and was shared with the group. It took us awhile to name the artist (and I think we turned to the internet to eventually settle the dispute -- proving once and for all that wikipedia, imdb and youtube inspire family harmony) because we were leaning toward Crystal Gayle or Juice Newton. Instead ... here's Sylvia singing her 1982 country hit "Nobody". Enjoy ...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-AfvRWvvP1U&feature=related

Random Memorial for Monday 1/25/10

Gone but not forgotten: Jeff Johnston.

While home sick today, I'm making progress on the DVR and finally got to the recent documentary series "This Emotional Life" from PBS. In the first installment, Jeff's story is featured -- he was a student who committed suicide after extensive cyber-bullying, and his mother worked tirelessly to eventually see the state of Florida pass the toughest law of its kind in the US. In his suicide note, Jeff wrote "don't blame anyone -- the world doesn't change" ... and his mother's dedication and commitment to this cause proved him wrong. Although she no doubt would rather still have Jeff in her life, her determination should be inspiration to us all -- progress made in his memory.

http://www.jeffreyjohnston.org/jeffslaw.htm

Random Scandal Sheet for Sunday 1/24/10

What Chicago is talking about this week:

It's time to discover the nexus twixt awards season and primary season (voting is just ten days away).

Best Comedy: jeans-gate, a casual Friday style fundraiser for charities run in Dorothy Brown's office that is being used to call into question her ability to manage our county's funds (seriously? this is controversy?).

Best Drama: Dan "(dark)Mud-Slinger" Hynes' attack ads showing former mayor Harold Washington discussing his choice to fire Quinnie back in the day (subtly injecting racial issues to the battle between two establishment white guys, with a supposed sub-text of "african-american voters: stay home on primary day because you have no good choices").

Best Special-Effects: The ability for just about every candidate to decry the "machine" (Boss Tweed/Tammany Hall redux?) whilst somehow being oblivious to their own cog-like qualities. L

Lifetime Achievement Award: Blago-Boy's hair (about to featured in Celebrity Apprentice going coiffure-e-coiffure with Trump).

http://newsblogs.chicagotribune.com/clout_st/

Random Soapbox for Saturday 1/23/10

I don't mean to go off on a (super-long) rant here, but ...

... if Whitney was right and the children are our future, how confident are we that we've done our duty to prepare them for that life? I just spent the morning over a copier having a candid conversation with an assistant principal of a CPS high school (my work is servicing a new contract to deliver test prep to them in my area), and I was gobsmacked by the extra challenges at play. Between resource allocation concerns, gangland influences and systemic politics, it sure doesn't sound like the high school experience into which I escaped growing up.

Of course, I have to assume that there are individuals attracted to that line of work because they truly care about the kids (and who am I kidding, in this situation and for this generation, innocence gets lost as early as the weaning process it seems - so they're really more like Shetland adults) -- but even for those called to the profession, I'm sure that they don't offer classes on dealing with those types of issues in educator school.

Maybe it's hard for me to relate because I was a professional student for most of my life -- hell, I only stopped when the federal government tapped me on the shoulder and said, "you've borrowed your lifetime maximum, son" -- but I guess the only solace I can take is that the success stories, when they happen, must just be that much more meaningful. I'm not naive -- and I'm trying not to be grouchy old man attempting to conjure up a national Mayberry app by any means -- but I am suggesting we rally around some new construct for ensuring that youth are taught well, that they are shown all the beauty they possess inside, with a sense of pride to make it easier ... anyway, you know what I mean.

http://www.helium.com/knowledge/107639-challenges-in-american-public-high-schools-today

Random Flashback for Friday 1/22/10

Here's me twenty years ago with Holly (I think it's the day after the NYE party) -- and yep, that really is me, in case you weren't sure what with all that hair and that visible swell cleft in my chin (and is that actually a black denim jacket?). As Billy Joel's been known to sing ... and so it goes. [We should have been on TVLand's High School Reunion this year!]

Random Thought for Thursday 1/21/10

So I was flipping through the channels last night on my way to eventual slumber, and it struck me that mash-ups shouldn't just be for music. For instance, I had "South Park" and "Golden Girls" on back to back channels, and it struck me that there was an opportunity to combine the two. Robin Williams could sing "Thank You For Being a Friend" like he did "Blame Canada" at the Oscars. Blanche could help Cartman through puberty. Shady Pines could be in Colorado. And -- can you imagine the climax in every Golden Girls episode where the broads turned to each other and exclaimed, "Oh my God ... they killed Sophia!" [Estelle Getty, RIP]

http://www.estellegetty.com/main.html

Random Wordplay for Wednesday 1/20/10

Golf clap.

Defined in a sentence: "Pre-2010 - a polite smattering of applause (sometimes with sarcastic connotations) akin to what is overheard in the distance of a golf tournament; post 2010 - paying the piper for sleeping with the Tiger".

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Golf_clap

Random Tune for Tuesday 1/19/10

So I was putting away the groceries this past weekend and turned on the kitchen TV (the one that just has the digital tuner and no cable connection) when I stumbled across this gem of an old TV show on one of those great MeTV Chicago extra digital channels -- with Ricky before he was Rick and Erin after she was hanging around with Twiki in Buck Rogers. "Here we are ... face to face ... a couple of Silver Spoons". Thanks to the obsessiveness of those on the internet, I now know I'm choosing the original version (with guitar) and not the revised synthesizer edition OR the rock version that accompanied the show in syndication.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=71RyZuJHpj0

Random Memorial for Monday 1/18/10

Gone but not forgotten: MLK, Jr.

Kind of makes sense for today, eh? Here's some random circularity -- for us in the US, it's now often seen as a day of service and was moved from Jan 15 (MLK, Jr's actual birthday) to the third Mon in Jan when Reagan made it an official holiday (begrudgingly, supposedly only after it was sent to him with a veto-proof majority). In Japan, Jan 15 was observed as a national "coming-of-age" day, a kind of geisha/samurai/kabuki bar/t mitzvah celebration, until it was moved to the second Mon in Jan in 2000 -- which, in turn, was the same year that all 50 states finally celebrated some iteration of the MLK, Jr holiday. So ... what do you say? In honor of the day, maybe good night and pleasant dreams?

http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/english/doc/2004-01/06/content_359391.htm

Random Scandal Sheet for Sunday 1/17/10

What Chicago is talking about this week:

Whereas "I've gone Haitian" was once just a cute phrase from NBC's Heroes about wiping out memories of the past, now it's a call to action to support the victims of last week's apocalyptic event. There's a sizable "native" population in the city (and the government has granted a temporary amnesty for illegals out of respect for families torn apart), there are adoptions of Haitian babies now halted affecting affluent suburbanites and there's anti-Wyclef Jean sentiment running rampant (who knew?). Should you heed the call to demonstrate your humanity -- just a reminder that the American Red Cross is the closest thing to a sure safe bet to guarantee that your contributions have the greatest effect.

http://www.cltv.com/news/sns-ap-cb-haiti-earthquake,0,5135047.story

Random Soapbox for Saturday 1/16/10

I don't mean to go off on a rant here, but ...

... Dear World: (hope that isn't too broad a salutation) when you choose to go through drive-through at a fast food restaurant, please do so because you are already familiar with the menu. It's true -- the McRib is back [and young-uns, I worked there when the product first launched -- ask for it no sauce/add cheese for a twist like we used to eat it in the break room] and the Big Mac snack wrap is surprisingly good [even to this person not accustomed to throwing a bunch of stuff in a tortilla and calling it lunch] -- but please don't roll up in line and spend five minutes transfixed by the breadth of items from which you can choose or marvel that someone would think to have a sandwich of cheese added to a quarter pound* of beef (or -- gasp -- a half pound*)or calculate long-form whether the value meal is really a value -- just order and drive ... through (that's the way it's supposed to work). Nine out of ten chances, the folks behind you are in a hurry! (*weight measured prior to cooking, for those of you who are fans of fine print)

http://www.petitiononline.com/mcrib12/petition.html

Random Flashback for Friday 1/15/10

I know I'm pushing it with one last holiday picture, but after having taken down the current tree within the last week, this pic snapped of me from 20 years ago doing one of my favorite holiday things -- falling asleep under the tree (usually after a hot cocoa in days of youth; now more likely after a night in the bars)-- seemed to fit. Ahhh ... yuletime respite, respite and nepenthe.

Random Thought for Thursday 1/14/10

In the canon of popular music, there are many many songs that espouse the wonderful things about friendships. Yet I can't quite find one that captures the scenario I find myself in. Anyone know which song best sets the mood for the phone call I made yesterday to a friend of 20 years when I said, "Hey -- can you stop by my Dad's house this weekend and tell me how much raw sewage you find in the basement?". Let's get one of you creative types to put some lyrics to that shit (pun purposefully planned).

http://wiki.answers.com/Q/Why_does_the_basement_smell_of_raw_sewage

Random Wordplay for Wednesday 1/13/10

The letter 'C'.

Used in a sentence: In mockery of all those individuals with a hyper-focus on the most inane statistics who feed sports announcers some rather odd statements (a local company in the article below is such an offender), it looks like this year could be a Super Bowl with both teams playing whose names start with the letter C (after all, four of the eight teams in the divisional playoffs fit this category, [and the fifth team in the league that starts with a C, the Chiefs, are sitting out their chances -- and they played in two of the first four Bowls anyway]).

The last time two teams whose names both started with a C competed was in 1971 when the Colts beat the Cowboys. As a matter of fact, there have been five games where the teams who played had the same starting letter in their names -- 71, 84, 97, 04 and 06 -- and the trend since 2000 for this particular type of match-up is that the team that is alphabetically last of the two wins. Assuming this logic (and should this be a double-C year), that gives the advantage at this stage of the playoffs to the Cowboys. Place your bets!

http://chicago.timeout.com/articles/museums-culture/81817/stats-sports-statistics-company

Random Tune for Tuesday 1/12/10

Nothing initiates goose-bumps more than hearing two extraordinarily unique voices paired in a duet -- if Steven's off an a jag to go solo for a little bit (please return to Aerosmith sooner rather than later), at least let him consider doing more modern blues projects like this one from a few years back.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2PK8Zi3rW3E

Random Memorial for Monday 1/11/10

Gone but not forgotten: Chris' original knee parts.

For those of you who know Chris in Chicago, his arthoscopy led to a unicompartmental knee arthroplasty and he now has an allograft bone from a cadaver -- which means his total knee replacement won't happen until later "down the road". He said his goal is to find out who the donor was from the bone bank ... to see how this new addition to his skeleton affects his personality. That's what he gets from reading too many Stephen King novels!

Chris' original knee -- you will be missed.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unicompartmental_knee_arthroplasty

Random Scandal Sheet for Sunday 1/10/10

What Chicago is talking about this week:

How cold is it? Even Amtrak train service is halted in the midwest today because the temps freeze the water lines -- not to mention blowing snow and drifts making routes impassable. Good thing that the radiators are all working in the apartment this year!

http://www.startribune.com/local/stpaul/81073592.html?elr=KArksDyycyUtyycyUiD3aPc:_Yyc:aUokEya_tyycy_eEQDU

Random Soapbox for Saturday 1/9/10

I don't mean to go off on a rant here, but ...

... with newscasts often over-filled with bad news anyway -- do they really have to get into the obituary business? Have you seen what's happening in nearby Saginaw -- about two minutes of "tasteful" screens of "daily death notices" during the local newscasts. Supposedly spurred on by the slow and painful death of newsprint (and a rant within a rant -- have you read the Sunday "funnies" recently -- because more than not, 2-3 cartoons will be referencing that torturous decline in some way each week), this new source of revenue might just inspire a full half hour weekly show, according to this interview! I guess it's really the ultimate reality show, if you think about it. Morbid much?

http://www.dailyfinance.com/story/company-news/dead-at-five-obituaries-move-to-tv-as-stations-find-revenue-in/19201028/

Random Flashback for Friday 1/8/10

I just got home from one of my new birthday traditions of the last seven or eight years -- enjoying my tour of Chicago steakhouses, one at a time (to start year 38 I was with my South Bend family at Gene and Georgettis's) -- but this pic goes back to the first bday party I had after striking out on my own. So for my eighteenth during my freshman year at college, I was in the basement of the Woodwards with friends -- and we were all eating cake!

Random Thought for Thursday 1/7/10

So let me tie up this Men of a Certain Age theme week in a nice little bow -- yep, I'm now a man of a certain (38) age (thanks to all for your well wishes). OK -- so I'm still 730-ish days away from starting my forties, but between my late blooming and my old soul, I'm just celebrating... my birthday by sharing with you all how quality this show is. Sure it meanders a little, and it's far from Everybody Loves Raymond, but they bring it all poignantly together in the final 15 minutes every time. Gotta love the diner and hiking scenes watching the guys (long time friends) interact, gotta laugh out loud several times an hour and gotta appreciate the commentary on where I'm headed as I age. Catch up on episodes at the link below!

http://www.tnt.tv/series/menofacertainage/

Random Wordplay for Wednesday 1/6/10

Shiticism.

Used in a sentence: "Your style of giving me feedback isn't helpful at all -- it's not criticism, it's pure shiticism."

I overheard something akin to that on a recent episode of Men of a Certain Age (random theme week, eh?) and thought it was clever ... then I google searched it and found it's been part of clever folks' vernacular for quite some time. Now I get to find ways to work it in to my vocabulary.

http://www.ehow.com/articles_4039-panic-attacks.html

Random Tune (Toon) for Tuesday 1/5/10

So those of you who know me well had to know that Cher would have to make an appearance on here sometime (insert slam here if you must) ... and look who was doing mash-ups long before they were popular. Please wait out the Christmas song book-ends to get to the actual randomness -- One Tin Soldier. This song was playing in the stolen/borrowed car scene from Men of a Certain Age recently (notice a theme this week?)! "Turned the stone and looked beneath it ... peace on earth was all it said."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vg84L84uop8&feature=related

Random Memorial for Monday 1/4/10

Gone but not forgotten: Quantum Leap.

Internet issues last evening precluded me from mentioning this classic NBC show on time -- with link for a drinking game -- featuring Scott Bakula (now part of the ensemble on Men of a Certain Age, a show on TNT that I found over the holiday break). What was it about this dramedy -- the satisfaction of a yearning to set things right? the ever present Forrest Gump-ian shout-outs to history? the never-ending need to creatively one-up itself for each leap? the finale that hinted at a bartender God? Whatever it was, it was always playing late at night in syndication when I lived in the Greentree townhouse and was one of the last things my friends and I would view back in the day.

Quantum Leap, you will be missed.

http://www.finifter.com/quantum-leap/information/drinking-game.html

Random Scandal Sheet for Sunday 1/3/10

What Chicago is talking about this week:

Move over La Nina and El Nino, our current bout with arctic chill is courtesy of the NAO. That's not the National Academy Orchestra of Canada or the New Age Outlaws or even some Japanese manga chick, but is instead the North Atlantic Oscillation -- a climatic phenomenon that needs a better press agent to get the recognition it deserves! Stay warm because they say next weekend will be even colder!

http://earthobservatory.nasa.gov/Features/NAO_200307/

Random Soapbox for Saturday 1/2/10

I don't mean to go off on a rant here, but ...

... why is it that the go-to cartoons being used by marketers right now are actually pretty disgusting upon repeat viewings. Those Mucinex "break up the party" commercials -- boogers, artfully recreated to make you buy their product. Not so jarring at first -- but the more you see it, the more it sinks in that this is just an animation featuring all the things you find on the walls above boys' urinals in public bathrooms. And let's not forget the creepy Charmin bears -- and the littlest one who presents his backside to his mom for inspection. Again, cute? It's an ad touting the fact that the toilet paper won't get caught in your ass hairs. It's time to bring back Mr. Whipple! Or at least to learn a lesson and use effective animation like from a few years back with the iron who cried while staring at the dryer because he was made obsolete by the use of special fabric softener. We're on a slippery slope of bad taste cartooning.

http://www.tampabay.com/

Random Flashback for Friday 1/1/10

1990 kicked off with a private party in the Hershey Lodge that went slightly awry when one of the participants ended up in the ER with acute appendicitis I believe. At least the hospital was right across the street! (And look, I'm still rocking the cardigan look -- this time with a blue one)!

Random Posting for Penn State 1/1/10

Dear Orlando ... sunny, beautiful, Floridian Orlando. If your motto is Orlando Works, couldn't one of you worked on covering the field or taking some kind of action to prevent today's mud bowl? Or what about that sponsor? Capital One -- you should have felt free to spend some of that bailout money to improve game day conditions!

http://orlandoworks.com/