Random Soapbox for Saturday 6/30/12

I don't mean to go off on a rave here, but ...

[... June almost got away from me without a rave to balance my usual Saturday ranting ...]

... kudos to Ken Nedimyer for all of his work to protect and restore the coral reefs.  I first learned about their annihilation when visiting Biscayne National Park near Miami at the beginning of this year.  But I only heard of him today, as I was dozing off to an afternoon old person's nap (possibly brought on due to a binge drinking spell in Pawnee-opolis, my new nickname for Indy), and as CNN called out my last name and woke me up (to be clear, it is pronounced the same but not spelled the same -- but one will find many different spellings of my last name, a situation I put squarely on the shoulders of whomever managed those processors at Ellis Island  as they did not enforce quality control standards in their bookkeeping).

After a brief moment of panic and an even more brief mental health self-evaluation (after all, one of the common reports of schizophrenics is how they hear the TV talked directly to them), I stayed awake long enough to hear his story.  And we need more "Nedimyer/Neidermyer/Niedermeyer/Neidameyer" positive stories to overcome the pop cultural damage done by what still may be the most famous person to share my last name -- I'm talking about Doug of Animal House fame.

FIND OUT MORE REGARDING CNN HERO KEN'S STORY:
http://www.cnn.com/2012/03/01/us/cnnheroes-nedimyer-coral-reefs/index.html

AND EVEN MORE:
http://vimeo.com/22972600

"WE DON'T HAVE ANY RECORDS OF FAMOUS PEOPLE NAMED NEIDERMYER":
http://www.ancientfaces.com/research/surname/Neidermyer/neidermyer-family-history-and-family-tree

Random Flashback for Friday 6/29/12

Written on the back of this photo:  "Birthday Bike, 92".

[Me, personally -- I like how the image looks all Instagram-ish some twenty years before that app existed.]

Regardless, just like last year at this time, summertime photos in my Flashback Fridays of my life twenty years ago are all about my family from "afar" -- which means if you can't make out the happy child who is excited about this birthday bike (complete with training wheels!), that's my niece, Ashlyn M.

Happy Summer everyone!

Random Thought for Thursday 6/28/12

I wonder ...

... if the person who came up with "righty-tighty, lefty-loosey" was also the same one who figured out that you can look at your hands and stick out your thumb and index finger to figure out which way is left and which way is right by the hand that makes the L shape.

And if so, that person is a true genius whom I should thank every time I use an allen wrench (even if from the wrong end) and every time I play Golden Tee and have to figure out the lie of the green (and I'm looking forward to some of that this weekend)!

So kudos to that person (or those people if it was two geniuses) who contributed to my life being made better).

WHO KNEW ... THERE WAS AN EXISTENTIAL MOVIE OF THAT NAME:
http://michaelfairmansoaps.com/news/eric-sheffer-stevens-new-film-lefty-loosey-righty-tighty-hilarious-fundraising-video/2010/10/13/

OTHER LEFT/RIGHT WORKSHEET PROJECTS:
http://www.enchantedlearning.com/themes/rightandleft/

HERE IS A SNEAK PEEK AT THE 2013 COURSES:
http://livewire.itsgames.com/news/10382-golden-tee-2013-a-look-at-the-5-new-courses

Random Wordplay for Wednesday 6/27/12

Zanies for 146 points.

Used in a sentence:  "I'm still a WordsWithFriends novice (I've only been playing a few weeks -- and I lose more than I win right now) ... but today, I played Zanies for 146 points."

This replaced my previous high -- the word Jete for 99 points (and, in true WordsWithFriends fashion, I didn't know what that word was ... but I played it anyway because it fit nicely on my "board").

So help me accelerate my learning curve -- send me a game request!


IF I'M GOING TO USE THE PHOTO, I SHOULD AT LEAST PUSH SALES OF THE BOOK:
http://www.amazon.com/Zanies-The-worlds-greatest-eccentrics/dp/0832901237

NOW I KNOW A LITTLE ABOUT A JETE:
http://fitforafeast.com/dance_lessons_jete-dance-move-how-to-split-jumps.htm


AT THE LINK AT THE BOTTOM, YOU CAN SUGGEST WORDS TO ADD:
http://www.wordswithfriends.com/rules.html

Random Tune for Tuesday 6/26/12

I was so tempted to "randomly" choose some version of the Martha and the Vandellas classic HEAT WAVE in anticipation of the next few days here in Chicago (the weather on the local 24/7 news channel introduced a color I had never seen on the radar map today -- a bright pink to represent the expected 103+ degrees we'll see in just a few hours!) ... but, since tonight is still cool, I'll post the link to the tune from my youth that was playing today while I was lunching with work colleagues at the local Five Guys ... as it resonated with me today (like it did when I was youth-ier):  "Now I believe there comes a time ... When everything just falls in line ... We live and learn from our mistakes ... The deepest cuts are healed by faith"!


BONUS -- A LIVE VERSION OF ALL FIRED UP FROM 2001!:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ZHEiVVXbRo

Random Memorial for Monday 6/25/12

Gone but not forgotten:  a classic classy actor.

I missed the whole Star Trek phase -- but you were so imitated that I instantly came to appreciate your unique delivery and unmistakable cadence.  Due to my age, I was more aware of Denny Crane than TJ Hooker -- and I don't think I did ever hear your spoken word craft (unless it was being sent up on a late night sketch show).  And, truth be told, I was a fan of your recent "Sh*t My Dad Says" more because of the supporting cast (particularly Nicole Sullivan and Will Sasso) ...

... but I was particularly touched to learn that you died just as "big" as you lived -- sacrificing yourself so that a busload of tourists could escape unharmed -- perishing in a fiery crash at the bottom of a ravine -- a hero!

WAIT -- hold the phone ... turns out that it was just your Priceline Negotiator character that was being killed off.  Oops -- my bad.  I guess this is how those darn pesky internet rumors get started.

Shatner, who has NOT died, I guess, therefore ... you will not YET be missed!

THE SKINNY ON THE CHARACTER'S DEATH:
http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/gossip/2012/01/william-shatner-dead-priceline-negotiator-video.html

AT LEAST THEY GAVE HIM A STORYLINE INSTEAD OF JUST FIRING HIM:
http://edition.cnn.com/2011/BUSINESS/03/14/georgia.aflac.duck/index.html

FOLLOW ALONG WITH ALL THINGS SHATNER:
http://www.williamshatner.com/

Random Scandal Sheet for Sunday 6/24/12

What Chicago is talking about this week:

To each his or her own ... some are recovering from the gigantic parade in the 'hood today (an all too representative quote, as overheard on the back patio of my apartment building today by someone on the phone calling my neighbor -- at 11:55AM, mind you:  "your back screen door is stuck and I need in right away ... because I have to throw up") ... and others are focused on the debut of the next  Aaron Sorkin masterpiece (I haven't seen it yet, but I'll go out on a limb and say that it's up to snuff), airing tonight on HBO.

And between this and True Blood, and the just wrapped Nurse Jackie and the upcoming final season of Weeds (not to mention Veep and Dexter and Shameless and Episodes and even late night insta-classic Gigolos), I am making my pay TV channels work for me this year!


JUST THE USUAL PANDERING POLITICIANS & OVERLY-COMMERCIALIZED FLOATS:
http://chicago.cbslocal.com/2012/06/24/thousands-turn-out-for-expanded-pride-parade/


I DO SO LOVE ME SOME SORKIN:
http://www.hbo.com/the-newsroom/index.html


LITTLE BOXES ON THE HILLSIDE ... LITTLE BOXES MADE OF TICKY-TACKY ...:
http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/live-feed/weeds-jenji-kohan-final-season-spoiler-little-boxes-337979

Random Soapbox for Saturday 6/23/12

I don't mean to go off on a rant here, but ...

... family sure can mess with your head.

First -- a two part disclaimer of sorts:  I promise I'll put to rest these updates all about the after effects of my recent trip home very very shortly (maybe even today), and I apologize in advance but I have to write to process stuff, so feel free to pass this post by if you're not interested in being an observer in my therapy.

Second -- an apology:  I didn't get to see nearly half of the people that I had wanted to in that short 48 hour turnaround in the area.  Of course, I also wasn't exactly the best guest during that time -- I was very much in my own head and up one moment and down the next.  So to Bonnie, Mrs. Woodward, Robin, Corey and Ben (whom I missed by just five minutes at his tattoo shop on Monday night, according to the porch people next door) -- here's to my next trip back home.

Third -- I don't think anything made me miss my puppy dog Demon more than this trip.  I forgot how healing it can be to just come home from some kind of drama and be greeted by a creature that wants nothing more than to remind you that you are the most important person in the world and that they want nothing more than to make you happy and that the excitement of their whole being is that they are with you in that moment and that nothing else matters.  To be clear, I love the cats (and good old fashioned human interaction as well) -- but the cats tend to look at you when you return as if to say:  "What are you doing back so soon -- we thought you gave us this place?".


Fourth -- on the second day of my visit with my dying father in the nursing home, I was encouraged to review the photo albums that he painstakingly organized sometime in the last few years.  He had written names in the margins in his aged handwriting (some he got right, and some I feel certain he noted mistakenly), and one picture of my mother caught my eye so much that I slipped it out of its sleeve -- only to discover the declaration that appears above.  I"m not sure why I was so taken aback -- maybe the hint of emotion (hell, the word loved is even underlined) that I'd never seen in my four decades with this man ... or maybe the overall sense of "the one that got away" that seemed to contradict the relationships I had witnessed as a young child of divorce ... or maybe it was just that, for the first time and just maybe, I was able to see this old man as a human being who had regrets instead of the caricature he had basically become.  [By the way, the front of that picture appears at the bottom of this post.]


Fifth -- something else strange happened in those final moments of the visit as well.  I think I heard my biological clock ticking for the first time.  And I mean that twofold -- in the way that turning 40 earlier in the year suddenly seemed so much more like a warning that I was now on the back end of life and not just the celebration of a certain passing of time that I had experienced ... but also in the way that I realized that I needed to get my house in order if I was ever to have kids of my own.  I had always "planned" to emulate my father's breeding pattern and have my child (or children) when I was in my fifties as he did  -- after finances were in order and relationships were prepared to handle it.  Now I think I'm going to blink and 40 will be 50 and it will be time to call my progenic strategic bluff.


Finally -- and the capstone of my experience -- the visit ended and my bio-dad "walked" me out to the elevator (which consists of his shuffling his feet to make his wheelchair roll out to the hallway).  Once I explained that I use a different elevator than he does to go to the cafeteria ... I said my goodbyes and headed down the hall.  Having arranged this visit on the doctor's insistence as the cancer was rapidly spreading and as treatment options had all been dismissed due to his existing health condition, this was, for all intents and purposes, to be the last time that I saw this man (at least in this condition where he had any of his faculties about him).  As I rounded the corner, I glanced back for one last look -- what I expected to be the image of him shuffling back to his room -- an image that I would keep with me.  Instead, I found him in the same position as he had been -- and I suddenly became aware that he was watching me leave.  And for the first time, I realized that this was a two way street.  That father and son were both keenly aware that this was the end, and that this last time we locked eyes on each other was the close to this chapter of both of our lives.  There were no words at this point -- just a nod of our heads -- just a last gesture of goodbye.

Random Flashback for Friday 6/22/12

[Let's start with this ... in retrospect, I probably should have designated this a theme week entitled "Death", since that concept has been front and center so much these past few days.]

Putting that observation aside, twenty years ago today, my paternal grandmother was laid to rest (she passed 6.18.92).  This picture is from four years before that -- August 1988 (my grandma is on the far left) -- and I think it is of her and three of her younger sisters (Bea, Naomi and Edith -- but anyone feel free to correct me or to place them in the right order ...) as she was the oldest daughter of her parents (though not the firstborn, a Charles Russell has that honor but he died way before my time in 1957).

In a nice touch, her pallbearers represented direct descendants of six of her seven children (including me, according to the funeral notice -- although in the back of my head, I feel like I might have traded duties with Gene for that task).  Being so young, relatively speaking, my memories of visiting with her were more about playing outside with my cousins who lived next door -- but I can still close my eyes and vividly recall her row of bobble head animals (back before bobble heads were taken over by the sports world) that "lived"  on the railing between her kitchen and living room.  And, for when we couldn't go outside to play, I remember pulling out the box of toys underneath a table that included a 3d orange cube/block puzzle, which seemed to keep me entertained for hours.  I'm not sure where those toys ended up -- but I do know that I have the 1968 kiddiebook "Wynken, Blynken, and Nod" that I read on the floor of her trailer many a time.

Funny what things stay for a long time in our mind.  RIP Esther Mae Peiffer Neidermyer (1904-1992).

Random Thought for Thursday 6/21/12

[... another in my new-ish occasional series ...]

I wonder ...

Since West Virginia had the highest use of antibiotics per capita between 1999 and 2007, and mutating viruses resistant to antibiotics might eventually lead to the zombie virus ... then does it follow that West Virginia might just be "ground zero" of the upcoming zombie apocalypse (contrary to what you might have heard about face eating naked meth heads on exit ramps in Florida)?

P.S.  I miss Walking Dead.



AND KENTUCKY IS NUMBER TWO!:
http://www.extendingthecure.org/blog/outpatient-antibiotic-utilization-highest-west-virginia-and-kentucky?print

BUY YOUR OWN PERMITS AT AMAZON.COM:
http://www.amazon.com/Virginia-Zombie-Hunting-Permit-Sticker/dp/B007IWEYCI

FEEDING THE FAN FORUMS WITH SEASON THREE NEWS:
http://www.dreadcentral.com/news/56358/ernest-dickerson-talks-walking-dead-season-3-premiere

Random Wordplay for Wednesday 6/20/12

Death trip.

Used in a sentence:  "I'm trying to throw off this overarching theme of death that's shadowed me for the second half of my recent vacation, but it seems like the universe had conspired against me to make it a death trip."

The impetus -- I'm dealing with my father's terminal illness diagnosis.  But here are the other things that happened at the end of this trip ... while visiting the gravesite of a loved one, there were three other separate funerals going on at the cemetery ... I felt like I noticed every single piece of roadkill on the entire drive home ... I was almost squeezed out on the PA turnpike by a tractor trailer truck exactly like the one in the picture -- from the Batesville Casket Company ... and I was even listening to Sugarland while driving through Indiana of all places.

I am so ready to shake off this cloud of dark thoughts ... and return to my usual cloud of snark (with a bit of a twisted dark humor still intact).

UM ... SO THIS GUY SEEMS EVEN DARKER THAN I AM ... MAYBE THE INDUSTRY?:
http://yourfuneralguy.wordpress.com/2011/01/06/top-ten-batesville-casket-articles-of-2010-your-funeral-guy/


UM ... SO THIS GUY IS TOO!:
http://www.globe-guardian.com/archives/twisted/tl0004.htm

SO THE WHOLE THING IS ACTUALLY NOT FUNNY AT ALL:
http://www.radaronline.com/exclusives/2011/10/sugarland-performs-benefit-concert-stage-collapse-victims-video

Random Tune for Tuesday 6/19/12

What a trip ... lots of fun things at the beginning (my friend Speckles the penguin!  good times, as always in Indy!  a new drinking city in Cincy!) and then lots of stressful family things at the tail end, as I basically said goodbye to my bio-dad (he's expected to turn worse and fade quickly at any time, according to the doctor).  I spent a lot of time in my head ... and I didn't get to see nearly all of the friends and family I had hoped to have seen during my short time back home ... and I'm still "processing" and dealing with bits and pieces of the past that have resurfaced.  But with lots of quality music to occupy my mind on the hours and hours spent driving home (that's home as in Chicago home), I gravitated toward the verse of this PJam classic (and I'll overlook the message of the chorus in order to latch on to call to "stubborn" arms -- because I have been and always will be ... a survivor):

i will hold the candle till it burns up my arm
i'll keep takin' punches until their will grows tired
i will stare the sun down until my eyes go blind
hey i won't change direction, and i won't change my mind
i'll swallow poison, until i grow immune
i will scream my lungs out till it fills this room

HOW MUCH DIFFERENCE WILL IT MAKE?:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dzlRPoyt2OA

Random Memorial for Monday 6/18/12

Gone but not forgotten:  my Guinness flip flops.

So I'm finally back from vacation and unpacked (and thus posting this a little later than I normally would) ... and somehow in my excitement to load up on Gazebo Room dressing and Bickels chips and Lebanon Bologna and Utz chips and Wege broken pretzel pieces and 5 different types of Tastikakes and a case of Yeungling Lager, I left my Guinness flip flops behind in one of the hotels (probably at the pool in Indy early in the trip).

Summer footwear that, admittedly, were somewhat difficult for me to wear since my toes are ... well ... let's just say they are in an excitable zone for me [if that's too much information, my apologies] ...  you will be missed.

LOOKIE HERE ... I HAVE CHOICES WHEN IT COMES TO A REPLACEMENT:
http://www.boozingear.com/guinness?product_type=244&gclid=CIi98bvZ4LACFWQDQAod6E0x0w

THIS HOTEL HAS DONE WELL BY ME ... WILL THEY FIND AND SEND ME MY SHOES?:
http://www.starwoodhotels.com/sheraton/property/overview/index.html?propertyID=3054

SUPPOSEDLY, FOR CAPRICORNS LIKE ME, IT's SUPPOSED TO BE MY KNEE:
http://blog.californiapsychics.com/blog/2012/03/erogenous-zones-by-zodiac-sign.html

Random Scandal Sheet for Sunday 6/17/12

What Lebanon PA is talking about this week:

Republican Presidential candidate Romney stopped by Cornwall (just outside of town) yesterday.  Not currently living in a contested state, I almost forgot those types of rallies happened (ah -- when modern day science and an old fashioned electoral college system meet, some people just get more attention than others).

And I'm not out to convert anyone (my only "ask" is that you be sure to vote as it is the only way in my mind that you can claim any right to bitch and moan if your guy [or maybe your girl in 2016?] doesn't get in).  But the local news story does say that there were a few Obama supporters there to counter-rally, so maybe Leb'non County isn't quite so uniformly in lock step with the Republican party any longer?  [I apologize in advance for that last sentence, which seems to subliminally call upon certain World War II imagery that probably wasn't entirely intended.  Probably ...]

Ultimately -- it's always all about me, isn't it (ah -- when narcissism and facebook and blogging meet, I just get more attention from myself) ... it did remind me that Dan Quayle came to my high school in 1988 -- and that I went to nearby Millersville University to see Reagan in 1984 (that's me holding up the "students for Reagan" sign near the front in this picture you can barely see ...)


THE TEXT OF THE REAGAN VISIT TO MILLERSVILLE:
http://www.reagan.utexas.edu/archives/speeches/1984/102984a.htm

REMINISCING ABOUT DAN QUAYLE's PERFECT SPIRAL THROWN IN LHS' GYM:
http://articles.cnn.com/2009-08-18/politics/zickar.town.hall.anger_1_town-halls-republican-pat-toomey?_s=PM:POLITICS

ROMNEY RALLIES JUST OUTSIDE OF LEB'NON!:
http://www.ldnews.com/latestnews/ci_20873447/romney-cheered-cornwall?source=most_viewed

Random Soapbox for Saturday 6/16/12

I don't mean to go off on a rant here, but ...

... during the long drive last night between Uniontown and Harrisburg, my mind wandered to the oddest spots -- which included this CBS Cares  (well ZBS Cares, due to the broadly played crazy German doctor accent of the actor portraying a busy urologist) promo for getting a prostrate exam once a man hits a certain age (ten years in my future, if the recommendation survives the recent pushback in the press).  To be clear -- I had seen it over and over again while watching various CBS programs on demand prior to this vacation.

And the real reason it sticks in my mind -- this guy announces that he's done 9421 and a half exams.  But he never explains the "half exam".  And for me, who has the perfect storm of twistedness and natural childlike curiosity hard wired into his psyche, I desperately want to know the full backstory of the ... well ... full back (end) story.  In order to proceed with the daily activities of my life and to not be paralyzed with the lack of clarity that was presented, I've decided that it was a non-consensual partial probe in a much too crowded elevator.

But, let's be fair, I really shouldn't be left up to my own devices on this one.  And, stepping back, for a PSA about getting a PSA (ooh -- fun with acronyms), is the mention of a "half exam" off-putting in some way and a counter message of sorts to what they are trying to accomplish?  In my opinion, "ZBS" owes us an explanation.

WATCH IT FOR YOURSELF:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4wQ6hrw-yLs

THE "SCIENCE" OF PSAs (PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENTS):

http://www.psaresearch.com/

THE "SCIENCE" OF PSAs (PROSTRATE SPECIFIC ANTIGEN):

http://www.cancerscreening.nhs.uk/prostate/prostate-patient-info-sheet.pdf

Random Flashback for Friday 6/15/12

Looking back at the summer of 1992, it was one of those times like on a soap opera when they bring in a whole new set of writers and all the characters' existing storylines quickly wrap up and they embark on new paths (and believe me -- comparing my life to a soap opera isn't so far off from the truth some days).

School wasn't going so well, and I needed a break -- and my cousin's theater company filled that role nicely.  Although that whole story had some darker underpinnings (spoiler alert:  it doesn't end well for my cousin), for an optimist like me who is almost always interpreting his glasses to be half full, there were some life changing positive moments -- to name just a few:  my temporary move to Uniontown, my meeting the person who would become my surrogate grandmother (JoAnn) and my getting to travel ...

... to places like the Magic Waters Theater in Chillicothe OH (run by the lovely Brezius couple), where we got to present on the stage in this picture, an amphitheater in the middle of the woods in a campground.  I don't have any pictures of Greater Tuna, the show I did with Lonnie B (hiding behind Greg B in this photo), but I do have this one that I think was from directing(?) a performance that the two of them did of The Odd Couple.  As I slowly make my way back east, I find myself tonight in Cincinnati and the closest I've been to Chillicothe in some twenty years.  Funny how the storylines of our lives play out (cue music and the dulcet tones of MacDonald Carey:  "like sands through the hourglass ...").

Random Thought for Thursday 6/14/12

[... continuing my new occasional series on Thursdays in June and beyond ...]

I wonder ...

... with the prevalence that tech support troubleshooters nowadays suggest that you just fix things with what a company with whom I interact at work refers to as a "power cycle" (action steps for which are: locate the power source, unplug the power source, count to ten and then plug the power source back in whilst exclaiming "voila"), maybe the TMI folks should have tried that back in 1979 -- or does that solution NOT work for something as complicated as nuclear meltdown ('cause it sure seems to work everywhere else) ...

IT's ENDORSED BY THE GEEKS!:
http://www.geeksquad.com/intelligence/blog/diy-wireless-network-troubleshooting-101/

IT's ENDORSED BY TECH SUPPORT PENGUINS!:
http://www.zazzle.com/tech_support_penguin_ten_t_shirts-235184136479989629

I GUESS I GOT DOSED WHEN I WAS 7 YEARS OLD!:
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/national/longterm/tmi/tmi.htm

Random Wordplay for Wednesday 6/13/12

Dutchified.

Used in a run-on sentence (as if there's any other kind of sentence of which I am fonder):  "You know how your smart phone predictive word choice dictionary provides you the option to add in words that you've typed in that it may not think are real words, but it will allow you to designate the word as such in your 'personal' smart phone dictionary -- well my 'personal' smart phone dictionary includes the word 'Dutchified'."

Which is, of course, all the more on-point as my trip back to Leb'non County starts in the morning.  I'll try to plant the accent into my dreams tonight Inception-style so that I can communicate with the locals upon arrival (I've a few stops along the way, so I won't get fully dutchified until Sunday).

Hopefully it won't be sprutzin'.  And I won't be rutchin' during the long drive. And the hotel rooms and such in which I stay will be ret up.  Now onct.

AND MORE SAYINGS ARE FOUND HERE:
http://www.horseshoe.cc/pennadutch/culture/index.htm#pdeng

BUY THE BOOK AT AMAZON:
http://www.amazon.com/How-Speak-Dutchified-English-Volume/dp/093467258X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1339636821&sr=8-1

SPEAKING OF CELL PHONES -- NEED A LAUGH?:
http://www.damnyouautocorrect.com/21623/the-15-funniest-autocorrects-of-may-2012/

Random Tune for Tuesday 6/12/12

My name is Troy and I am a television addict.

One of the ways that my addiction shows itself in what seems like what is practically an OCD type reaction -- I have to sing along to every theme song (lyrics or no).  My biggest challenge over the years was to master the theme song to Big Bang Theory -- but once I did, I then used those same skills to focus on this one (which I could never heretofore completely understand [except for the fifth line below] so now I can sing along):

Give me some rope
Tie me to dream
Give me the hope
To run out of steam
Somebody said
It can be here
We could be roped up, tied up
Dead in a year
I can't count the reasons I should stay
One by one they all just fade away.

Now if I could only understand what the song is trying to say (the full lyrics seem even darker than I expected for this fun little quirky comedy)!

ONE BY ONE THEY ALL JUST FADE AWAY:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qEGbjR1Y9Qo

Random Memorial for Monday 6/11/12

Gone but not forgotten:  The Gosselins.

To be clear, they aren't GONE per se -- just GONE from public view.  Or from my public view, I guess, since this is the first summer in a long time without any updates (and it took me this many months to wipe out the memory of that horrific RV trip where, at the time, I would have been fine with both of them driving over the edge of the Grand Canyon Thelma and Louise style).

And to be even more clear (or, clearer, I guess, right?) -- it's the kids I'm missing more than the adults.  I'm sure Kate and her changing haircuts will find a way to get in the news (that seems her shtick), and I could do without any updates about Jon (and I apologize in advance if this offends anyone, but in my opinion, there's a very small window of time  in which one can wear an Ed Hardy tee-shirt without it subtextually saying "Hi, I'm a douche").

But we did get to watch those kids grow up -- and I want to know what happened to the bratty older one who clearly did not process the divorce properly and the little one who was clearly a pre-gay (not that there's anything wrong with that -- and come on -- you know you thought it -- I'm just typing it).  Putting snark aside, I do feel that we got to watch them grow into their personalities, and so there's a natural curiosity to see them before they break into their individual rebellious tabloid years.

Perhaps I'll drive by the house when I'm back in Leb'non/Berks County one week from tonight and hang out with the paparazzi, and then, Gosselin kids, you won't be missed by me any more.

WARNING:  YOU QUICKLY AGE OUT OF THESE DESIGNS:
http://edhardyshop.com/categories/edhardy-mens/mens-apparel/edhardy-mens-t-shirts.html

OF COURSE THERE ARE FAN SITES THAT CAN KEEP ME OBSESSIVELY INFORMED:
http://gosselinfamilyfansite.blogspot.com/

OTHER THINGS TO DO IN WOMELSDORF:
http://attractions.uptake.com/pennsylvania/womelsdorf/124193184.html

Random Scandal Sheet for Sunday 6/10/12

What Chicago is talking about this week:

It's strike season (and that's not a baseball reference to what Zack Greinke did to the Cubs in nearby Milwaukee this past week ... but is instead a reference to a battle royale that is brewing in town [as it seems to have done in every summer for the last few years]).

And let me start with this premise -- teachers are tremendously underpaid and are all too often grossly unsung heroes of our society.  Between elementary schools that have to ban certain color combinations in clothing because it implies an allegiance to neighborhood gangs (ELEMENTARY SCHOOLS!) and high schools being asked to somehow save the unparented who have no conflict resolution skills beyond resorting to gunfire, it is my opinion that they should qualify for damn hazard pay!

Sadly, it's all a political game at this point -- and even more sadly, the teachers are led by the curiously coiffed Karen Lewis (whose cornrows in most photos take on the air of Medusa herself), a spokesperson who continues to get no respect for many for her tactics.  In particular, she lost all of my respect when she publicly demonstrated "how to bully 101" in a speech mocking Arne Duncan's lisp [and with turnabout being fair play, I don't feel guilty mocking her "hair-don't", although I'll designate other issues, like her heft, as off limits].

For the sake of the children who are in desperate need of those who still care for them when so many have given up, can someone please stand up and demonstrate leadership and resolve this issue!

[Note -- had I not attempted to throw away my cash yesterday, this would have been my random soapbox comment yesterday, it you didn't notice.]

SO THERE's THIS KIND OF STRIKE:
http://www.usatoday.com/sports/baseball/nl/story/2012-06-06/greinke-brewers-beat-cubs/55434156/1

AND THEN THERE's THIS KIND OF STRIKE:
http://www.suntimes.com/news/education/13047161-418/teachers-union-accuses-cps-of-trying-to-sabotage-strike-authorization-vote.html


AND THEN THERE's THIS REASON THAT SHE SHOULDN'T BE THE SPOKESPERSON:
http://www.arlingtoncardinal.com/2011/11/25/karen-lewis-video-controversy-marijuana-use-bullying-hypocrisy-hurts-race-to-the-top/

Random Soapbox for Saturday 6/9/12

I don't mean to go off on a rant here, but ...

... I am a fool.  (Yep, it's a bit of a self-flagellating post today.)

In order to make this circumstance a positive one, I offer up to you my story as a cautionary tale.  When cleaning off the dining room table where you've emptied out your pockets and read and opened your mail, it is imperative that the (small) pile of money in bills and (large) pile of junk mail NOT be commingled.  The risk being, of course, that said (smile) pile of money in bills might just be discarded in the trash can.

AND that said trash bag might just be taken out to the apartment unit dumpster.  AND that upon realization of the error (some six hours after the act had been committed), said trash bag might be reclaimed in the middle of the party that the neighbors are throwing on the back porch (it's country night at Wrigley, and they are from Kentucky after all).  And that said party-goers might just look at you like you should be committed as you bring trash from the dumpster to your apartment to search for said misplaced (small) pile of money in bills.

And before I lapse into more idiotic behavior, I should pause to thank the city for not picking up the trash in the aforementioned six hour period, and to thank the dumpster divers who regularly root around in the aforementioned apartment unit dumpster for recyclables, and to thank the $130 odd bucks for finding their way back to me like in some final scene of a rom-com demonstrating that it was our destiny to be together.

My goal for the rest of the day -- to no longer be the poster child for the phrase "a fool and his money are soon parted".

DID THAT PHRASE ORIGINATE WITH THOMAS TUSSER?:
http://www.knowyourphrase.com/phrase-meanings/fool-and-his-money-are-soon-parted.html

THANK YOU CITY OF CHICAGO!:
http://www.cityofchicago.org/city/en/depts/streets.html

HERE COMES THE COUNTRY!:
http://www.chicagotribune.com/entertainment/ct-ott-0608-paisley-lambert-doit-20120607,0,6674355.story

Random Flashback for Friday 6/8/12

Okay.  I couldn't help it.

Here is just one more appearance of cowboy Ryan and super excited Tyler and the classic McDonald's chocolate chip cookies.

I'm now officially done with flashing back to my visit with my nephews twenty years ago in the summer of 1992.

And now you must wait a whole year until you see them again in my Friday flashbacks (although they will be in this same backyard, they will appear in a rare photo of them surrounded by three of their cousins).

The year's respite, admittedly, might be a relief to Ryan and Tyler, who had no idea when they smiled for this shot twenty years ago that their uncle would choose to post it for the Facebook world to see.  But come on, who can resist those smiles?!?

Random Thought for Thursday 6/7/12

[Here's the first in a new occasional series for June of 2012 and beyond called, simply enough, ... I wonder ...]

I wonder ...

... if having your home team's losing streak broken by sweeping MLB's worst team of the season to date really counts as a reason to celebrate (no offense Padres or Cubs, it's just statistics from last week) ...


EVERYONE'S A CRITIC WITH PREDICTIONS (part 1):
http://www.betfirms.com/mlb-projected-win-totals/

EVERYONE's A CRITIC WITH PREDICTIONS (part 2):
http://calltothepen.com/2012/06/06/cubs-twins-padres-bad-baseball/

EVERYONE's A STATISTICIAN:
http://sports.yahoo.com/news/top-5-longest-chicago-cubs-losing-streaks-history-235400851--mlb.html

Random Wordplay for Wednesday 6/6/12

Tantric Tennis.

Used in a sentence:  "John Isner plays tantric tennis."

If you didn't think so by watching him play in 2010 at Wimbledon, then surely you recognize so after his 2012 French Open performance.

[Disclaimer:  it is true that this thought came to me independently this week.  But, thanks to the interwebs, it is also true that someone else thought of it back in 2010 -- as proven by the Haiku presented two years ago (at the link below):

High performance play.

All day and yet no climax.

It's tantric tennis.]

JOHN's OFFICIAL WEBSITE (HE's GOING WITH MARATHON MAN INSTEAD ...):
http://www.johnisner.com/

SADLY, I DIDN'T THINK OF IT FIRST (EVEN IF I DID THINK OF IT INDEPENDENTLY):
http://www.npr.org/blogs/thetwo-way/2010/06/24/128088716/mark-the-longest-tennis-match-with-short-haiku

WIKIPEDIA IS PERFECT FOR THIS (AS A GUINNESS BOOK OF WORLD RECORDS):
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Longest_tennis_match_records

Random Tune for Tuesday 6/5/12

On a night like tonight with so many folks focused on the evening sky to catch a glimpse of a once in a lifetime event (well -- twice in a lifetime if you saw it in June 2004), what other random tune could I possibly pick but this one (even if I did like Walk Like an Egyptian much more ...).  And if you're too late, you'll have to rely on the hope that something drastically changes with our average lifespan, as you can't catch this celestial phenomenon again until 2117 and 2125.  Happy Transit Night!

SHE's GOT IT!  BABY SHE'S GOT IT!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JH3WvI_S6-k

Random Memorial for Monday 6/4/12

Gone but not forgotten:  Dicks Clark and Dawson and Mrs. Landingham.

In yet another sign of my advancing age, I now recognize just about every celebrity who passes.  And I hadn't yet said anything about the death of Dick Clark (I think this "motivational poster mock up" says it best -- particularly today, when just 200 days remain until 12.21.12), but now Richard Dawson and Kathryn Joosten's passings have dampened the weekend just wrapped.

I preferred my Dawson as a celebrity panelist on the classic Match Game, and my Joosten as the character just outside of President Bartlett's oval office and my Clark counting down New Years Eve (even after the stroke which, to me, made him more human and less host-robotic) ... but now, when it comes to all three, you are already missed.

Also gone but not forgotten ... the season that recently wrapped of Amazing Race.  I don't plan to do this next time, but for this past season, it was a marathon to clear off the DVR that led me to watching the final half of the season at once. And so I provide my final Amazing Race Aside(s) for six episodes ... and just to keep it from running on and on and on ... I'll boil it down to three thoughts per episode (and you'll soon notice a theme):

Can I just say that, in the seventh episode, I don't understand why more people didn't choose jumping for one minute (to imitate a Tanzanian courtship ritual) -- even if it was at an escalation of 8000 feet, it seemed like one of the easiest tasks ever, I would not readily stop to ask the kids brandishing spears for directions and I miss Bonnie Hunt who would have definitely picked up on how building a safari tent together should be a project for marriage counseling.

Can I just say that, in the eighth episode, it looks like people wear a lot more clothes in the heat of Africa than I would have thought, that zebras seem to hang out with all kinds of animals or else they just wanted as much camera time as possible and that I miss Bonnie Hunt who would have had lots to say about the way the double Uturn played out.

Can I just say that, in the ninth episode, I found it ironic that they KY boy was getting bus-sick but recognized if he stuck his head out into the Indian air, he would feel worse, that the teams seem awfully caught up in gender roles (what with the mocking of the bipolar girl taking on the cricket challenge first and the comment about how "chicks can dance better but they sure do get emotional") and that I miss Bonnie Hunt who would have found a way to give the KY boys some part of a million dollars one way or another.

Can I just say that, in the tenth episode, who knew Rumpelstiltskin was Indian, that a giant 250 lbs MMA guy almost broke that poor tiny elephant and that I miss Bonnie Hunt who would have taken the squabbling girls to task for that drama on the check-in mat.

Can I just say that, in the two hour finale eleventh/twelfth episodes, I want to play sushi bingo at my next get-together, that I don't think a "search and rescue" when conducted by the border control guys has the same happy ending that a normal "search and rescue" does and that I miss Bonnie Hunt who would have pointed out the losing teams who couldn't muster anything more than sore-loser clapping in the final seconds of the show (both times the "winning" team arrived).

Next season ... I commit to more timely commenting on one of my favorite shows (and to not miss an episode like I did this year to poor DVR management).  Here's to the next Amazing race around the world, and can I just say that ... I miss Bonnie Hunt!

SOMEONE TOOK THE TIME FOR THIS PLAY BY PLAY OF THE MATCH GAME:
http://www.angelfire.com/stars3/lasteps/lastrich.htm

QUOTES FROM ONE OF THE BEST EPISODES OF WEST WING:
http://thewestwing.tktv.net/Episodes2/quotes/22.html

DICK -->  A LIFE IN PICTURES:
http://www.billboard.com/photogalleries/dick-clark-his-life-and-career-in-photos-1006807962.story

Random Scandal Sheet for Sunday 6/3/12

What Chicago is talking about this week:


[DISCLAIMER:  I am not in this picture.  I did not take this picture.  I did not witness this picture being taken.  (Not that there's anything wrong with that ...)  I just google imaged "sausage fest" and found this picture (and one for the Last Supper with that same tag line that seemed awfully controversial (although technically accurate I guess).]


As I sit here typing to the strains of the music being performed at Sausage Fest (now does the picture make sense?), I realized that some Chicagoans are talking about sausages -- at least those who attended this block party right around the corner from my apartment here in Wrigley (and could there ever be a more aptly named title for a party in this particular 'hood).

Other Chicagoans are talking about Wieners, as in the food establishment institution the Wiener Circle, which now has its own TV show airing on TruTV (the first season ended, so hopefully you'll catch it in reruns if you haven't seen it).  The beauty of the half hour program is that it is filmed in the late late hours, which means it delights in the drunken antics of the rich white kids partying in that 'hood (and with a staff that is all African-American, it does have its interesting post-racial moments as they play games that gently poke fun at both communities).

And if Sausages and Wieners are old hat, then it seems like for those Chicagoans, they are talking empanadas -- as no fewer than two brand new empanada eateries are opening in the same stretch on nearby Broadway.  Like the proliferation of yogurt shoppes that inundated this area last summer, I predict 2012 to be the "summer of the empanada overload" here in my 'hood.

STILL HAVE MUSIC ALL NIGHT LONG AT SAUSAGE FEST:
http://findlocal.chicagotribune.com/listings/lake-view-music-fest-chicago

YOU CAN WATCH FULL EPISODES ON LINE:
http://www.trutv.com/shows/the-wieners-circle/index.html

IT's BEEN A THING SINCE 2009, NOW PREPARE FOR EMPANADA OVERLOAD:
http://www.chicagomag.com/Chicago-Magazine/December-2009/Empanada-Madness-Best-places-in-Chicago-to-get-the-classic-turnovers/

Random Soapbox for Saturday 6/2/12

I don't mean to go off on a rant here, but ...

... I need the good folks at this paper to dive just a little deeper into their statistical analysis.

I know -- it's the paper of the people and I'm sure the "elites" [oh no -- I'm watching too much Fox News -- their lingo is creeping in to my posts] would say that expectations should be lowered if you're not getting your information from the Journal or the Post of the Times (that's Wall Street, Washington and New York respectively).  But I happen to like pretty colors and in-shallow headline reporting of what I need to know (plus it's not the only media I consume).

But enough of my defensiveness -- my complaint is the conclusion that Monday's are the most popular day for calling in sick.  Um ... by my read, it's basically a five way tie between the five most likely choices.

That being said, media of a slightly better reputation (I'm speaking of the BBC News) also reported a story (you can find it at the link below), and, at least across the pond, Monday also holds out as the most popular day to call off, with percentages closer to a much more statistically significant full third of all sick days used.

My point -- feel free to call off work on Monday if you'd like -- EVERYBODY's doing it!

TANGENT #1:  I had a sick day last week (see my post on Th 5.24), when I went to my doctor who told me that my liver was too palpable for his liking.  But I got my results back yesterday and everything came back normal.  His conclusion -- I'm just fat (well, fatter than I used to be)!  Huzzah!!

TANGENT #2:  On a slightly more serious note, I continue my 2012 birthday project, donating $1.00 for every one of my Facebook connections that makes his or her big day public to charities that rotate on a monthly basis.  June's charity is Vital Bridges, a local Chicago based organization that provides food, nutrition, housing and case management for men, women and children living below the poverty line with HIV/AIDS.  And since I offer birthday folk the option to pick their own charity from the list if they'd so like, here's that list which I post periodically of charities designated for the rest of the year:

JUL -- Save the Children


AUG -- Muscular Dystrophy Association

SEP -- Autism Speaks

OCT -- Susan G Komen for the Cure

NOV -- Greater Chicago Food Depository

DEC -- Trevor Project.

THE SLIGHTLY MORE STATISTICALLY SOUND UK STUDY:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/8347332.stm

OVER THERE, THE FIRST MON IN FEB WAS SICKIE DAY (and they don't super bowl)!:
http://www.acas.org.uk/index.aspx?articleid=3660


RIDICULOUS (BUT ULTIMATELY RATHER TAME) EXCUSES FOR CALLING OFF WORK:
http://burnsmcdmedia.com/careersblog/2011/12/22/10-most-ridiculous-sick-day-excuses/

Random Flashback for Friday 6/1/12

Here's all you need to get caught up on this twenty year old flashback from 1992 ...

... school was out ... I was visiting my sister's family in the Haven ... I took old school McCookies with me (it was my shtick back then) ... and Ryan (from last week) had a brother named Tyler (pictured here).

I think there's a chance the pile he's standing on was what would soon be a backyard pool (but I could be wrong and stand to be corrected by those more in the know regarding that timeline ...)

And what I said last week about his brother applies here too:  Of course, he's all grown up now and doing wonderful things with his life (I got to see him live in St Louis a few years back, but that's another flashback for another day!), but he'll be forever this age and size in my mind.

Hey Tyler -- s'up!?