Random Scandal Sheet for Sunday 2/28/10

What Chicago is talking about this week:

It's PULASKI DAY on Monday! School are closed, city government takes a holiday, and no trash is picked up in honor of one of the most famous Poles (up there with Polanski, Pope John Paul II, Lech Walesa and the North and South ones). Why do we celebrate him? Because he is the "Father of American Cavalry" and we remember our Revolutionary War heroes, dammit! Why do we really celebrate him? Because Chicago has the largest concentration of Polish people outside of Warsaw. To which I say, "Na zdrowie. Vivat!" and to which I do not say any of the jokes I learned in my youth. Now please click on the link for your history lesson -- and take special note of the old school music!

http://www.eiu.edu/~insight/pulaski/pulaski.htm

Random Soapbox for Saturday 2/27/10

I don't mean to go off on a rant here, but ...

...I have to join the chorus of people who recognize that the definition of adjective is "the part of speech that modifies a noun by limiting, qualifying, or specifying". For those who understand that basic concept, it naturally follows that when the noun getting modified is "whale", then the modifier "killer" helps to qualify and specify the TYPE of whale. With all respect to the grieving family [and before I'm called a hypocrite for housing the menagerie that I've raised over the years (the place in Lebanon by Big Bertha's once housed a ferrett, American Box turtle, American Staffordshire and kitten I found in the Mt. Gretna woods all at once), let me say that they were primarily domesticated] ... wild animals belong in the wild. I get the whole zoo concept, but I think "aw, look at that cute critter showing off to everyone by pacing in his cage back and forth" quickly turns to "oh no, that poor thing is displaying OCD tendencies because of the stress of being locked up". Even the pic of the polar bear of which I am so proud in my FB "day at the zoo" photo album was easily taken because he was being predictable as he took loop after loop around his confines, as if repeating the path would somehow lead him to the way out. Said another way, for each "lion named Christian" youtube video, there's multiple Fox style specials of "when wild animals attack". We're the consumers of this corybantic captivity -- [that's an adjective I just learned tonight] -- so we can turn off the demand if we rise to that challenge.

http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/AmazingAnimals/seaworld-curator-dawn-brancheau-ponytail-caused-fatal-killer-whale-attack/story?id=9934382

Random Flashback for Friday 2/26/10

20 years ago, my niece Casey Jo was born to my sister Sharon -- on this same date (well didn't that line up just right)! Not sure when this pic was taken except that she's so tiny that it had to be shortly after they arrived home from the hospital. Happy Birthday Casey Jo!

Random Thought for Thursday 2/25/10

Every now and then, even I take a respite from snark and pretension (and I mean that in the ostentatious way, not in reference to the tension that comes before) ... but anyway, my thought today is borrowed from Alan Kay -- "The best way to predict the future is to invent it." I wish you well on becoming your own horoscoper.

http://thinkexist.com/quotation/the_best_way_to_predict_the_future_is_to_invent/6977.html

Random Wordplay for Wednesday 2/24/10

Turks and Caicos.

Used in a sentence: "A study of geopolitics shows that different countries have taken turns in prominence throughout the centuries, and, somehow, when I wasn't looking, our friendly neighbor to the north (Hi, Canadian FB friends!) made a play for neuveau colonial expansionism with efforts in 2004 to buy the Turks and Caicos islands in the Carribbean."

With all eyes on Vancouver, can a Canadian century be next for the history books, eh? Is Robin Schabotsky part of the early scouting party for world dominance?? Do the folks in Grise Fjord at the south end of Ellesmere Island just want a place to go in the winter (is it ever not winter where they are?)???

Random Tune for Tuesday 2/23/10

Now that Brooks and Dunn are ... well ... Brooks and DONE, it's time to pull out this melancholy ditty. It's kind of a musical response to the adage that "time heals all wounds" -- with notice that when it comes to matters of the heart, the concept of "time" for the healing process is more convoluted than the whole Lost-ian series of flashforwards, flashbacks and flashsideways. Enjoy!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cVpLaCBctI4&feature=fvw

Random Memorial for Monday 2/22/10

Gone but not forgotten: Walter Fredrick Morrison.

He died at the age of 90 at his home in Utah this month, but he contributed more to my youth than he knew. Mind you that I am not of the group that took it to the ultimate level, but I can distinctly recall having in my possession for years one of his creations emblazoned with ... the Sundae flavors of McDonalds! As the years went by, more and more marketers found their way to me so that I would "play" with their advertisement, but that's modern times. In many ways, it's rather fitting as the name of the toy was based on a pie company and as the original prototype was an empty pie tin. I guess one could say that toy-as-marketing-tool was almost pre-destined.

Regardless, founder of the frisbee, you will be missed.

http://www.nndb.com/people/798/000163309/

Random Scandal Sheet for Sunday 2/21/10

What Chicago is talking about this week:

Distractions are all around -- Tiger's reading of an apology script which undoubetdly included stage directions (pause, look at camera, pronounce every syllable of this word slowly, quick cut to disappointed mother); another NIU shooting (from a boy who tried to stop a boy who wanted to hook up with a girl at 4am -- do you think alcohol was involved?); snowboard crotch-model medalist Scotty (on the heels of the crotch bomber, can we just go ahead and christen this the year of the crotch?) -- but the focus should be on the local heroes like Evan Lysacek and Shani Davis doin' Chicago up proud in Vancouver!

http://www.nbcchicago.com/news/sports/Local-Olympic-Athletes-69077372.html

Random Soapbox for Saturday 2/20/10

I don't mean to go off on a rant here, but ...

...we need some creativity in leadership to fix our immigration situation. And let me get two things straight right up front -- 1) aren't we all immigrants to this land (...just some with older squatting rights than others)? I've done my research and I know that I'm paternally old school Prussian (irony -- my grandfather fought in WWI "on our side" in battles started by his ancestors), and maternally a good mix of English, Dutch and 1/16th Native American (from whence I get my dash of ethnic mystique); 2) I don't care if you are more apt to crack open the bio of Al Franken or Lou Dobbs or Sarah Palin, compassion should permeate all parts of the ideological spectrum. Those items being said, I drove past a certain gas station on the west side of town where "illegals" gather to be chosen for odd projects from those looking for handymen that they can pay under the table. Local police were shoo-ing them away (move along, nothing to see here) ... and when I drove past half an hour later, they had all re-congregated faster than dried McOnions reconstitute when you add water. I know we're talking about building a border wall (I have a chunk that I chopped off of the one that separated Berlin during the Cold War to remind me of how that attempted separation turned out), but there have to be some more creative and humane policies and strategies at the top level then the "make it to land, you stay, but if we catch you in the water, sashay away" nonsense. In the meantime, for the many that are aquí, let's make sure their kids get educated, their dignity gets spared and their families get fed. Let's not waste local resources to just chase them away from that gas station and pretend that such a maneuver is progress. Let's recognize that they made sacrifices to get to our land like our forebears, and let's rally around the old-fashioned concept that we are truly the land of opportunity!

http://www.usimmigrationsupport.org/wetfoot-dryfoot.html

Random Flashback for Friday 2/19/10

Flannel shirt that screams "woodsy". Check! Roaring fire to drive away the chills of winter. Check! Triumphant return as a counsellor to the Winter Retreat church camp of my youth. Check! And lastly -- hair past my collar for the one and only year of my life. Check!

Random Thought for Thursday 2/18/10

So here's how I want the carefully orchestrated press conference for Mr. Woods to go tomorrow. Tiger enters the room in one of his traditional Sunday red shirts, saunters up to the mike, uses the dramatic effect of taking a well measured beat, and then bursts into song ... "people always told me be careful of what you do and don't go around breaking young girls' hearts, and mother always told me be careful of who you love and be careful of what you do 'cause the lie becomes the truth ... Rachel Uchitel is not my lover, she's just a girl who claims that I am the one but the kid is not my son!" And then -- he repeats the chorus fourteen more times, running through the list (as provided by www.thaindian.com in 12-19-09 article): Jaimee Grubs is not my lover ... Kalike Moquin is not my lover ... Jamie Jungers, Mindy Lawton, Lori Rist, Holly Sampson are not my lovers ... Unidentified British TV host [Graham Northon maybe?], Unidentified corporate female [Barbara Corcoran from ABC's Shark Tank anyone?], Unidentified sex-addicted cougar [Samantha from Sex in the City?], Joslyn James, Lore Dane Jolie, Therease Rogers, Unidentified lawyer [Gloria Allred herself?] and Jessica Simpson are all not my lovers. How cool would that be!

http://abcnews.go.com/Entertainment/tiger-woods-press-conference-breaks-silence-friday/story?id=9865441

Random Wordplay for Wednesday 2/17/10

Xfinity.

Used in a multiple choice exercise: "Xfinity is A) the new catchphrase for Buzz Lightyear to utter in Toy Story 3D (coming soon to a theater near you) -- to "xfinity and beyond" OR B) the name of a new TV pay-for-view channel playing an endless loop of porn/x-rated material OR C) the design plan for Lady Gaga's next far-out-fit, placing an X through the Lemniscate of Bernoulli image that represents infinity (I didn't know that symbol had a name before -- and it's one of my tattoos!) OR D) a cable company's misguided efforts to shake off horrific customer service reviews by simply renaming itself in major markets OR E) the latest shade of lipstick for your pigs."

Trick question -- because I would argue that D and E are both correct.

http://www.reuters.com/article/idUSN0515328620100209

Random Tune for Tuesday 2/16/10

It's funny how your tastes solidify as years go by. I now know that I can trust that anything from Alan Ball is going to be addictive dark humor pushing the envelope, that any comedy done by Chuck Lorre will make me laugh out loud, and that any creative output from Aaron Sorkin is going to stimulate all the synapses in my brain. I caught Aaron's early work Malice this past weekend, and although it came across every minute as 'look at one of my first projects', it just made me miss West Wing all the more. Check out this youtube fan's recreation of the opening sequence to include all major actors of its seven year run -- and don't forget to support tortured artistic geniuses!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VLRCXlj6JzM&feature=related

Random Memorial for Monday 2/15/10

Gone but not forgotten: old-school dance shows on TV.

I recognize that FOX, ABC, MTV and Oxygen all still have active dance COMPETITION shows, but after watching a documentary on Soul Train this past weekend, I'm talking about remembering the classics -- like American Bandstand, Solid Gold, Club MTV, the Grind -- where you spent a half hour or so watching the camera weave in and out of a crowd full of the limber, lissome and lithe (today's post brought to you by the task of alliterative thesaurus-ing) showing off all the latest moves. I was always aware of the Philly connection to American Bandstand growing up in central PA, but I didn't know about the Chitown origins of Soul Train until this weekend (further explored in the article below).

And so, collective creative output of Don Cornelius, Shemar Moore, Marilyn McCoo, Downtown Julie Brown and Eric Nies, you will be missed.

http://www.chicagoreader.com/chicago/soul-train-local/Content?oid=1106014

Random Scandal Sheet for Sunday 2/14/10

What Chicago is talking about this week:

Look who's throwing a tantrum now -- I mean, look who's proposed a new negotiating tactic in the latest labor dispute at public transit behemoth CTA. The latest maneuver is to have drivers FOLLOW THE RULES as written, which equates to not going faster than 35 MPH, to not running red lights, to not leaving stops before people have been seated, etc. This, they say, will lead to a slowdown because ... no one follows the rules now. At the risk of sounding like I'm ranting on a soapbox (I try to limit myself to one of those episodes a week for the sake of my weak heart), are you really threatening us by saying that you might actually follow safety rules if you don't get your way!?!

http://www.chicagobreakingnews.com/2010/02/cta-union-president-threatens-slowdown-if-cuts-not-restored.html

Random Soapbox for Saturday 2/13/10

I don't mean to go off on a rant here, but ...

...how lazy have we become? I was on campus today for a work event, and the whole process of "using the washroom (restroom for you East Coasters)" was essentially automated. Sensors opened the door to the facility, sensors flushed the urinal, sensors fed me my ration of soap, sensors determined the velocity of the spray of water to wash my hands and sensors dictated the quantity of paper towels I had to use to dry. [The only thing I still did myself was to shake it after I finished.] At first, the faucet didn't recognize me and I had to survive a momentary advanced technology induced existential crisis -- Am I really here now? Do I exist? Are the machines in control? Do they know something as to why I am not worthy of sensor-recognition? -- but ultimately, I'm left to question, "when did relieving oneself in a public bathroom become such an onerous task that we needed these technological 'improvements' (or are we just that lazy)?"

http://www.notouchbathroom.com/

Random Flashback for Friday 2/12/10

Since I was already in town for the auto show 20 years ago, I couldn't resist climbing on top of the non-operating fountain behind the state capitol building. It was my "Yo Adrian" moment -- if you replace this location with the steps of the Philly Art Museum, scrawny old me for Sly Stallone, and Adrian with Holly... See More, as I'm sure she took this picture. As to why there were no security guards to stop me from climbing on state property like this, I can only refer to a more innocent time for all ...

Random Thought for Thursday 2/11/10

Dear Toyota, it is a minimum expectation that pressing on a brake will stop a car. Dear Honda, having an air bag that deteriorates over time such that it sends pieces like shrapnel through a driver/passenger when/if it is activated should be a scene from the next Final Destination movie, or the beginning of a torture-porn device from the next iteration of Saw, or the concluding aha moment no matter which city of CSI you are in -- but it should NEVER be the way someone is "saved" in an accident only to die from the air-bag-bullet wounds. Dear Dodge, you are mine now (just "traded" the 05 Ford Focus for a rental-fleet-sunburst-orange-08-Caliber) and you best treat me well. If so, I'll overlook the fact that you were recently named "worst car of the decade".

Random Wordplay for Wednesday 2/10/10

FB-ADHD.

Used in a sentence: "So I've only been using Facebook (FB) for just over 190 days (I know because my virtual pit bull puppy named Zoe is 190 days old today), and this is already the third update of the home page that I've had to relearn -- is it that Zuckerberg (FB founder) is prone to display attention deficit hyperactive disorder tendencies himself OR is he trying to make us all suffer from FB-ADHD? Wait -- what's that? Someone thinks they'll get chicken coops if they click here FOR REAL - TESTED AND TRUE. And look there -- someone else from the Megalopolis is posting snow pics. Looky there -- some idiot is posting random stream of consciousness thoughts every day for the last few months!Never mind -- that's me and it's soon time for an FB patch of adderall!"

http://www.insidefacebook.com/2010/02/04/facebook-begins-rolling-out-new-home-page-design/

Random Tune for Tuesday 2/9/10

I first heard this "A cappella" on a show that followed Trace Adkins as he performed for the troops. I'd rather post that version but couldn't find it, so the studio track will have to do. It's interesting how the sentiment is practically a countrified Being Alive from Company, but I think in this world where I am sometimes frightened by the ease with which I can go from zero to jaded -- it's always a good thing to check in with yourself and appreciate ... "a heart that beats and bleeds, a heart thats bustin at the seams ... I wanna care, I wanna cry, I wanna scream -- I just wanna feel somethin'". Enjoy!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JZNjlFIjuOM&feature=related

Random Memorial for Monday 2/8/10

Gone but not forgotten: Spirograph, LiteBrite and ShrinkyDinks.

Do kids still have access to these? Have they been recreated virtually for this generation of young-uns (got an app for that)? OR has our litigious society robbed people of the chance to toy around with this kind of creativity? [Do ShrinkyDinks cause cancer? Are LiteBrite pegs a choking hazard? Does Spirographing cause seizures?] Regardless, I could use a little retro therapy and "getting back to basics" mojo if anyone wants to point me in that direction. And then I can play with my matchbox cars on the roots of the old tree out back.

Toys from my youth that fostered creativity ... you will be missed.

http://www.backtobasicstoys.com/item/productid/7711/txt/Lite_Brite_Cube/XXX/

Random Scandal Sheet for Sunday 2/7/10

What Chicago is talking about this week:

It's CTA Doomsday as the "transit authority who called wolf" did not succeed in getting someone to step in and save the day (as has happened how many times before?) -- leading to 20% cutback in bus service and 9% less El traffic! [For those Smallville fans (warning -- eighth season spoiler alert), it's like how Chloe (representing the body politic) always made sure to protect Davis Bloome (CTA leadership) from his destiny for as long as she could, episode after episode ... but ultimately to no avail (kind of because he was signed for the whole season and they were waiting for the finale). Doomsday was still manifested irrespective of the love she tried to offer him. Of course if we could get Black Kryptonite and somehow separate the issues, then maybe Sam Witwer could survive and lead the unions to a resolution before Jimmy Olsen's older brother Jimmy stabs him with a lead pipe in the watchtower?] Anyway, as someone who lives RIGHT next to the train tracks, is it so wrong for me to be OK with the 9% reduction in the rattling rumpus that wakes me up during rush hours or causes me to play the TV on the old-man-hard-of-hearing setting?

http://www.chicagocarless.com/2010/02/07/in-defense-of-cta-doomsday/

Random Soapbox for Saturday 2/6/10

I don't mean to go off on a rant here, but ...

...why is it that children's programming seems to be so often influenced by hallucinogenic drugs. The Kroft boys might still be playing coy about their creations from the 70s (HR Puffinstuff anyone?), but what the hell's goin' on with Yo Gabba Gabba? I made the mistake of falling asleep with the TV on one Friday night recently, and I awoke to what I now know is Muno, Foofa, Brobee, Toodee and Plex. My first thought was "so those mushrooms in last night's Chicken Marsala must have been home grown, if you know what I mean" ... and then I thought I'd do a little research. Fun for me ... go to this link and wait for the RuPaul clone to pop up at the bottom with the cast. Then, run your mouse over all the characters with your volume on high to annoy your neighbors. [Warning -- if doing so makes toddlers or pre-toddlers come to your door like some kind of pedophiliac pied piper, please don't say you got the idea from me.]

http://yogabbagabba.com/#

Random Flashback for Friday 2/5/10

After the Farm Show in Harrisburg each year comes ... the auto show. And just like I went to Dutch Wonderland to see the TV show Batmobile the summer before (see pic in 1989 album), I had to go catch this on display in the winter of 1990 ... and so is born an obsession.

Random Thought for Thursday 2/4/10

Every vote counts. You might think I'm about to launch into a diatribe about the horrifically low turnout in Illinois' primary this week, and how some of the races were so close that they help prove my opening comment ... but no -- rants are reserved for Soapbox Saturdays. Instead, I just got back from a week of meetings at my company's flagship location in downtown Chicago, and I was tickled to see an interactive installation on the bus stop shelter near the center that allowed you to vote as to whether toilet paper should be hung so that paper is pulled over the roll OR hung so that the paper is pulled from underneath. Now this is voting America can get behind (half a pun intended). And, as of this moment, my side is winning.

http://www.cottonellerollpoll.com/

Random Wordplay for Wednesday 2/3/10

Acinetobacter.

Used in a sentence: "I like big words and I cannot lie ... You other brothas can't deny ... When a multisyllabic utterance ambles by, I get ... sprung." Oops -- got distracted. But to that point, I did get ... um ... excited ... when I saw that "Ramanan Laxminarayan... announced that Staph and Swine Flu hysteria could be replaced with concerns about catching the drug resistant bug (to the powerful antibiotic imipenem) called Acinetobacter."

If you find yourself in a hospital, be careful! And always be on the lookout for catching antidisestablishmentarianism! OMG Becky!

http://www.extendingthecure.org/publication/increasing-resistance-acinetobacter-species-imipenem-united-states-hospitals-1999￢ﾀﾓ2006

Random Tune for Tuesday 2/2/10

I was reminded of this sad, sad song when one of the Idol auditoners broke out this ditty recently. Here's Jamie Foxx covering (and adding his own spin to) a classic George Strait song. For those who haven't heard it in awhile -- it's a more artful way of saying ... "If you love something, set it free. If it finds true love somewhere else, well aren't you the idiot for letting it go!"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1sswOIvr5Fc&feature=related

Random Memorial for Monday 2/1/10

Gone but not forgotten: awards shows wherein honorees were honored with more than two sentences.

Back when I was younger (when we walked uphill to school -- both ways -- in the snow -- barefoot and pregnant [wait -- I think I'm mixing my cliches]), before the world got so "tweeted up", the audience would at least see a clip package or hear a meaningful delivery from a thoughtful presenter. Leonard Cohen ... Loretta Lynn ... Bobby Darin ... all trustee winners last evening at the Grammys, and all whose lifetime achievements were seemingly reduced to a statement that met the 140 character limit of a tweet. [By the way, can Andrea Bocelli do anything without David Foster anymore -- it's like he's become Andrea's new assistance animal!]

Meaningful tributes at the Grammy for which you do not need 3D glasses -- you will be missed.

http://www2.grammy.com/Recording_Academy/News/Default.aspx?newsID=3660