So here's how I want the carefully orchestrated press conference for Mr. Woods to go tomorrow. Tiger enters the room in one of his traditional Sunday red shirts, saunters up to the mike, uses the dramatic effect of taking a well measured beat, and then bursts into song ... "people always told me be careful of what you do and don't go around breaking young girls' hearts, and mother always told me be careful of who you love and be careful of what you do 'cause the lie becomes the truth ... Rachel Uchitel is not my lover, she's just a girl who claims that I am the one but the kid is not my son!" And then -- he repeats the chorus fourteen more times, running through the list (as provided by www.thaindian.com in 12-19-09 article): Jaimee Grubs is not my lover ... Kalike Moquin is not my lover ... Jamie Jungers, Mindy Lawton, Lori Rist, Holly Sampson are not my lovers ... Unidentified British TV host [Graham Northon maybe?], Unidentified corporate female [Barbara Corcoran from ABC's Shark Tank anyone?], Unidentified sex-addicted cougar [Samantha from Sex in the City?], Joslyn James, Lore Dane Jolie, Therease Rogers, Unidentified lawyer [Gloria Allred herself?] and Jessica Simpson are all not my lovers. How cool would that be!
http://abcnews.go.com/Entertainment/tiger-woods-press-conference-breaks-silence-friday/story?id=9865441
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