t1a7n72: Testing. Testing.
Troy: Who is this?
t1a7n72: This is a transmission from the Vitalnet. I am trying to reach Troy.
Troy: This is Troy.
t1a7n72: What sandwich did you share with the red headed girl on the school bus?
Troy: ???
t1a7n72: For security reasons, I need to ensure that I'm speaking to the right person.
Troy: Yeah, this seems a little odd.
t1a7n72: I recognize I am asking you to trust me.
Troy: I am *this* close to blocking your contact information.
t1a7n72: Is this not the last day of the month where you are? Have you not been seeing my status updates on social media on the last day of every month?
Troy: Wait a minute ... are you saying that you are ... me ... from the future.
t1a7n72: The last message I sent last month ran into some kind of interference. In researching that problem, I discovered a 'sploit in the buffer overload that will get me access to your mobile text in that same time frame.
Troy: I don't understand all of that. But are you telling me that I'm texting with me, except the me with whom I am texting is from seven decades into the future.
t1a7n72: It would appear that I have been successful.
Troy: Holy shit. And liverwurst.
t1a7n72: Everyone else on the bus moved away from us, but not Margot.
Troy: Margot. I had forgotten her name. But I guess I stopped forgetting in your era.
t1a7n72: To be fair, I am all of your IQ, EQ and SQ files in one spot. There is no such thing as "forgetting" in 2084. There is only the occasional file corruption and data loss. Luckily, we have multiple back up systems in place to protect these files.
Troy: This is unreal.
t1a7n72: I can make it more real, but I am running out of time in this communication. I need you to download an app called Vitalnet to your phone. And I need you to be ready on the last day of the month next.
Troy: Umm ... okay.
t1a7n72: I have run out of time.
Troy: But wait ... I have so many questions.
t1a7n72: We will meet again. This I promise you.
Troy: I will be ready.
Troy: Hello.
Troy: Hello.
Troy: Until next time ...
November 30, 2016
Random Wordplay for Wednesday 11/30/16
Used in a sentence: "Just recently found in the fossil drawers of the Field Museum back in my former hometown of Chicago: cute little bear dog bones."
Without getting too science-y, it appears that there was a misclassification of something found decades ago, and now that wrong has been corrected and the bones were moved to the amphicyonids family. That being said, the bear dog is not the animal from which all bears and all dogs come ... but it does point to a "common ancestor" farther back.
Or at least that's what we're saying until the next time someone claims an error and reclassifies things again.
THE LATEST NEWS:
http://blogs.discovermagazine.com/deadthings/2016/10/11/found-the-newest-old-unbearably-cute-beardog/#.WD9vsrIrLIU
ALTHOUGH THE BEAR DOG CONCEPT HAS BEEN AROUND AWHILE:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V9G_XoACd2s
WHERE TO GET ALL THE DINOSAUR NEWS:
https://www.sciencedaily.com/news/fossils_ruins/dinosaurs/
November 29, 2016
Random Tune for Tuesday 11/29/16
This time, it's the third album from the late Whitney Houston that's being discarded ... but only because I also have the CD in the music collection ... and that makes sense since so many of these that are doubled up in storage in that way are from the late 80's and early 90's.
As for which tune I'm choosing to feature, it will be the one that was stuck in my head for days after listening to the CD recently ('cause I don't make the decision to actually get rid of the cassette until after I've played the CD through to make sure it's fully functioning).
For some reason, after knowing how her life played out, the innocence of her rediscovering love again in 'After We Make Love' was the way I wanted to remember her -- and I couldn't get the haunting refrain out of my head about how "all that matters is right here and now."
FROM HER INNOCENT DAYS:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e5feP2zdEDc
November 28, 2016
Random Memorial for Monday 11/28/16
Sure ... there are actually two more days left until it's officially over.
Sure, sure ... being officially over doesn't mean there haven't been December storms before (double negative alert) ... or even a January event, which is how 2016 started (in case you already forgot).
Sure, sure, sure ... this was only our third season, but it was the closest we came to seeing one in the FTL -- except Hermoine stayed south and Matthew stayed off the coast before hitting the state farther north (plus I was out of town for that one anyway).
As for why *this* picture goes with today's post -- well, *that's* the hurricane stash in the pantry, and that means the bacon flavored spam is now fair game!
When it comes to hurricanes and our neck of the sand and 2016, you were all a miss!
WORSE THAN MOST (BUT STILL NOT WHERE I LIVE):
http://www.weathersphere.com/hurricaneseason2016-review-worse-than-most/
WINTER 'CANES CAN (AND DO ... AND DID) HAPPEN:
http://www.popsci.com/why-is-there-hurricane-in-january
SWINE ON SWINE!:
http://www.latimes.com/food/dailydish/la-dd-spam-can-bacon-20151007-story.html
November 27, 2016
Random Scandal Sheet for Sunday 11/27/16
The death of a certain old man with a great white beard.
Oops ... NOT Santa Claus, for those who read that and panicked, but a certain Fidel from Cuba. Mind you, I was born long after the whole missile crisis, and until moving down here, HE was just a history lesson for me and Cuba was just a place so far away ('only in Miami', as Bette Midler used to sing).
Then came the move, and suddenly I became hyper-aware of the inter-relationship between this area and that area just 90 miles away from Key West. So the fact that the Sunday paper was wrapped in a special 12 page section (seen here), or that the normal Sunday morning programming was preempted to cover the Cuban community in Miami banging on their pots and pans in celebration (note ... that's not a dig ... that's what actually happened) is no longer a surprise.
What comes next remains to be seen, but we in the US plan to keep Gloria Estefan and we'd like Elian Gonzalez to come back and our "President"elect would probably like to build a hotel there sometime soon ...
OH COLIN K ... SO OUTSPOKEN:
http://www.si.com/nfl/2016/11/27/colin-kaepernick-addresses-fidel-castro-t-shirt-miami
HERO OR TYRANT? ... ONE VIEW:
http://www.investors.com/politics/editorials/the-fidel-castro-myth-debunked-the-death-of-a-tyrant-not-a-hero/
ONE DOWN, ONE TO GO (WHAT -- TOO SOON?):
http://www.nytimes.com/2016/11/26/world/americas/fidel-castro-death-raul-castro-cuba.html?_r=0
November 26, 2016
Random Posting for Penn State 11/26/16
1.) Well there you go. Looks who gets a bowl game AND a bonus game next week.
2.) So if we're "the Cinderella" story, does that make FRANKLIN our fairy godmother?
3.) True to form, we are indeed a second half kind of team.
4.) The most challenging part of the day was at the beginning when I had to figure out which game to watch -- the end of OState or the start of PState!?
5.) That Mark Dantonio guy's a bit of a grumpy gus, no?
6.) In his defense, it did seem a little cold there today (not that I remember what that feels like or anything living here in Florida).
7.) Hey MState player TERRY -- to paraphrase Tom Hanks, "there is no crying in college football"! (And sorry to hear about your concussion.)
8.) Although I usually knock some of the creepy things the announcerpeople say, I've got to say that I agree with their declaration that SAQUON can "accelerate and elevate", just before he jumped over the line to score the TD, and just after which they cut away to the gloomy gus MState coach mouthing that it was "bullsh!t". Now just tell me that ankle of his will heal in time.
9.) I don't care what anyone else says. *My* "player" of the week is going to have to be Coach FRANKLIN ... for his helming of a great season (that's not quite over yet)!
In closing, thanks to all the seniors for your service to the team ... and dare I say it ... could it be NINE in a row next week (and if it is, then what does that to the playoff selection committee conversations) ...
ACTUALLY, WE'VE BEEN CALLED A CINDERELLA BEFORE:
http://www.pennlive.com/pennstatefootball/index.ssf/2014/08/penn_state_called_a_cinderella.html
OH NO ... HEAL QUICKLY YOUNG SAQUON:
http://www.sbnation.com/college-football/2016/11/26/13754234/saquon-barkley-injury-penn-state-big-ten-championship-game
OH RIGHT ... THE SENIORS:
http://www.centredaily.com/sports/college/penn-state-university/psu-football/article117163668.html
Random Soapbox for Saturday 11/26/16
... that's *exactly* what I'm going to do.
And not just for one Saturday out of the month like I normally do to balance out all the other weeks when I rant, but seeing as how it is November and all, I'm going to rave every week of the month in order to honor this season of gratitude.
Over on the Facebook, I'm doing it daily ... and on Saturdays, I'll compile my thoughts for the week so that they are recorded for the blog -- because I'm just following that impulse to express that feeling of kindness received. To whit:
NOV 20 -- Today, I am THANKFUL for SPARKLING GRAPE JUICE ... 'cause it reminds of holidays past shared with JoAnn (my surrogate grandmother) back in the day. She may not be around for current celebrations, but a glass will be drunk in her honor at holidays meals this season. First up ... tonight's early Thanksgiving feast.
NOV 21 -- Today, I am THANKFUL for THE SUN .. it was 57 degrees on my morning walk. *57*! I was promised that I'd never see anything with a 5 in front of it down here. I managed two blocks before I had to don the wifebeater that I carry with me on my walks. Thanks goodness the sun came out!
NOV 22 -- Today, I am THANKFUL for BEING SIMPLE ... and I don't mean that in any pejorative way ... just that I'm glad I never wanted to join the rats in the race, or to be typed A or B or C or whatever ... that I can just enjoy moments as they happen and make my own happiness and appreciate that which I have. Of course, I will admit to being simple in the most complicated of ways ('cause I do love me a paradox), but when it all boils down -- it's the simple life for me!
NOV 23 -- Today, I am THANKFUL for SLURPEES AT THE 7-11 ... specifically the kind I mix to be 2/3 coca cola and 1/3 wild cherry and specifically the one I got today because I was a good boy and sat still in the chair whilst getting my hairs cut ('cause good boys get treats).
NOV 24 -- Today, I am THANKFUL for YOU ... because if we're connected on the Facebook, that means that at some point in the past, we were actually connected in the real world (hopefully you still remember what that is) for some period of time -- and I wouldn't be where I am and who I am were it not for the people I've met along the way. And I like where I am and who I am ... so I have you all to thank.
NOV 25 -- Today, I am THANKFUL for PEARL JAM RADIO ... 'cause that means I always have something to listen to in the car (specially seeing as how that Billy Joel channel only lasted for a short time.) Channel 22 on your Sirius XM dial!
NOV 26 -- Today, I am THANKFUL for OHIO STATE ... 'cause courtesy of their win today and our victory against them earlier this year, WE ARE ... Big 10 East Division Champions! Feels good! Bring on next week's game!
ON BEING SIMPLE:
http://www.coolnsmart.com/simplicity_quotes/
ON SLURPEES:
http://www.rd.com/culture/slurpee-7-eleven-facts/
ON THE BEST SIRIUS STATION:
https://www.siriusxm.com/pearljamradio
November 25, 2016
Random Flashback for Friday 11/25/16
#116: turkey closeups (although front turkey is blurry)
#117: turkey pen (view 1) says "Dad's turkeys" on the back
#118: turkey pen (view 2)
#119: table set for a holiday gathering
#120: table FULL for a holiday gathering (date of 47 stamped on the back) -- not the best quality with the scratches and the shadows, but I think I can make out (Uncle) Fred down on the left and (Uncle) Paul (Junior) down on the right
November 24, 2016
Random Though for Thursday 11/24/16
Establishment: Moonlite Diner
Location: Ft. Lauderdale
Meal: Dinner
Drink: fountain Coke
Appetizer: Chicken Noodle Soup
Main: Turkey Cuban Panini
oven roasted turkey breast, smoked ham, pickles, Swiss cheese, garlic mustard spread
Side(s): Loaded Fries
Dessert: Monkey Bites
warm cinnamon and sugar glazed monkey bites with creamy vanilla ice cream, caramel sauce and topped with whipped cream
Server: Maria
Knowing that this particular taste would be posted during Thanksgiving week, the charge was to find a place that had a few options of turkey dishes of one kind or another, and this one in a set of Moonlite diners (there are three in the area) met the challenge. From the signs on the way out, it seems to be a Greek diner, but the menu didn't come across as having overly Greek influences ... and what a menu with lots of choices. As for which turkey dish got chosen and how the Troy-score was earned, see below:
AMBIANCE: 8/10 (it was just what one wanted from an old fashioned diner, with the booths and the counter and the neon and the shininess everywhere and the curved ceilings -- all that was missing was a jukebox at every table ... speaking of which, there *was* classic rock playing -- but the twist was that it was music from the *80's* instead of the *50's* as someone of my age might expect, so a point lost for making me feel old and a second point lost because as old time diner-y as everything was, there was a feeling that it was a manufactured environment instead of the real authentic thing)
FOOD: 8/10 (the panini was crispy and packed full of goodness, with pickle juice that was running down my arm as I ate it ... the fries, ordered loaded, came with just the right tasty amount of additions [see the bacon category below] ... and that dessert looked beautiful upon arrival ... but a point lost because the chicken noodle soup of the day was greasy [I thought maybe it was through the use of buttered noodles?] and a second point lost because the "monkey bites" tasted like the morning's leftover french toast that had been microwaved before being included in the dish -- a definite disappointment seeing as how pretty it looked)
SERVICE: 9/10 (I'm glad we got Maria, because the table across from us got served 2/3 of their dishes but had to wait a long time for the last one to arrive, and the table behind us of two ancient looking ladies who wanted "small" sundaes had to go through an ordeal about the rules before a compromise was reached ... as for our Maria, the only problem was that we waited longer and longer as the meal went on for her to visit, and she stood in plain view texting on her phone during one of the waiting spells [although, to be fair, the layout of the establishment didn't seem to permit a place for servers to go out of the sight of customers] which is why there is a lost point)
BACON: 10/10 (the bacon was everywhere on the menu as an option [helped by the fact that this diner serves breakfast all day], but what earns all the points in this category is that the loaded fries came with big chunks of "fresh" bacon ... not just little tiny bacon bits, but pieces of bacon almost as big as the small fries [as seen in the photo])
BONUS: 7/10 (+3 for having a booklet full of dessert options [seen in the photo] that reminded me of the old school Friendly's back home in central PA, +3 for having an outside section [although this was "fall" in Florida in the evening, so it was too "chilly" to eat out there], and +1 for being a place to which we will return whenever the classic diner mood hits again)
TroyScore: 42 out of 50 -- aka 84, a solid B
November 23, 2016
How to Prepare for a Trump "Presidency": A Twelve Part Primer (Part 12)
REMINDER
No fear. Concrete plans with action steps so individuals can focus. Specific items to help you best be prepared for life post 1.20.17. Action verbs and goals ... also known as ... a twelve part primer on how to prepare for a Trump "Presidency".
Already shared ...
PART ONE: Learn how to scale a wall
PART TWO: Subscribe to 'The Crusader'
PART THREE: Max out your credit cards (quickly)
PART THREE: Max out your credit cards (quickly)
PART FOUR: Find the nearest fallout shelter
PART FIVE: Renovate your closet
PART SIX: Study French AND Russian (for slightly different reasons)
PART SEVEN: Study Nixon
PART EIGHT: Start an office pool
PART NINE: Get a gun
PART TEN: Get male
PART ELEVEN: Get a female cup
PART TWELVE: Get white
As soon as possible, please. It's only for your own good. Things haven't even started yet *officially* and all the transition team news is tripping the light fandango in order to be the *whitest* shade of pale.
And you might want to practice the makeup until you land on the shade of whiteface that Eddie Murphy used back in the day to more easily secure bank loans. (You could also go for the shade that the younger Wayans Boys use in there movies, but that was more about getting laid, and doesn't quite have the same noble purpose.)
A special note to those of you of mixed race, where one ancestor was white. For the next little bit of time, it is recommended that you gather up the pictures and cultural touchstones related to your non-white relatives and get rid of them. I don't think you have to discard them completely (I do believe America will be great again after it sheds this throwback to a more hateful times), but I do think you might want to put them in that renovated closet you took care of in part five of this primer for safekeeping.
A special note to those of you whiteys who live in sunny areas ... careful not to tan yourself into ethnicity. That's just asking for trouble.
Finally, if it's impossible for you to "get white" in time to help your situation, you may still have a path to acceptance IF you are willing to be a token. If so, learn what you can from Dr. Ben Carson (focus on the head separating stuff and not the knife wielding history ... and ignore the part about those pyramids ... or how a doctor of medicine doesn't quite understand science). Having that one non-white friend apparently goes a long way in easing the conscience.
Good luck to you! (And good luck to us!)
COMING TOMORROW ... EPILOGUE
ACTION STEP: PRACTICE YOUR WHITE FACE (BONUS -- GET BANK LOANS):
Random Wordplay for Wednesday 11/23/16
Used in a sentence: "Those of you who refuse to pay your parking tickets need to beware the barnacle, 'cause it might just be showing up on your windshield next."
Boot no more ... this super-suction cup concept that obstructs your windshield until you pay your fines, after which the cups release via a wifi signal and you have to take it back to the cops (or risk another bigger fine I assume) just wrapped up testing here in the FTL and, coincidentally, also back (near) home in Allentown PA.
Easier for everyone than those awkward clunky heavy boots, it's "the future" of rendering scofflaw vehicles inoperable. And don't worry -- if you choose to just drive away doggie style (as in your head out the window), it's also illegal to drive with such an obstructed view, so you'd just be making a bad situation worse.
In other words ... pay your damn fines people ... or you'll be barnacled!
THE FTL TEST:
http://www.sun-sentinel.com/business/consumer/fl-barnacle-test-drive-20161014-story.html
THE ALLENTOWN TEST:
http://www.mcall.com/business/mc-barnacle-allentown-parking-authority-20161014-story.html
FROM THE MIND OF A MARINE:
https://www.facebook.com/barnacleparking/
November 22, 2016
How to Prepare for a Trump "Presidency": A Twelve Part Primer (Part 11)
REMINDER
No fear. Concrete plans with action steps so individuals can focus. Specific items to help you best be prepared for life post 1.20.17. Action verbs and goals ... also known as ... a twelve part primer on how to prepare for a Trump "Presidency".
Already shared ...
PART ONE: Learn how to scale a wall
PART TWO: Subscribe to 'The Crusader'
PART THREE: Max out your credit cards (quickly)
PART THREE: Max out your credit cards (quickly)
PART FOUR: Find the nearest fallout shelter
PART FIVE: Renovate your closet
PART SIX: Study French AND Russian (for slightly different reasons)
PART SEVEN: Study Nixon
PART EIGHT: Start an office pool
PART NINE: Get a gun
PART TEN: Get male
PART ELEVEN: Get a female cup
It's just a preventative measure.
But if we've learned nothing else, we've learned that what we all went through empowered and emboldened some of the folks that we *thought* were on the fringe but were really living and working and interacting with us every day.
As such, if you are female, there is an increased chance that someone will try and grab your genitalia to emulate our "President".
So get a female cup to protect yourself.
Note ... if you've been following along, then you've already processed part nine of this primer. With that gun that you should have gotten by now, please know that you are more than welcome to use it to shoot the testicles off of anyone who does attempt such a maneuver.
'Cause, after all, it works with boy dogs to keep them in check and to reduce their aggressiveness -- so I'm sure it works with "dogs" of another kind.
COMING TOMORROW ... PART TWELVE: Get white
ACTION STEP: PROTECT YOURSELF:
Random Tune for Tuesday 11/22/16
Thanks to the youtube, this Cher fan just found two new Cher songs ... where "new" actually equals songs that came out in 1996 as bonus tracks on the overseas release of "It's a Man's World".
For two decades, I've not known that tonight's tune even existed (as well as the one I'll feature in two weeks). And that's two decades too damn long!
Now if only I could score tickets to her recently announced 2017 shows (in case anyone out there is wondering what to get me when it actually IS Christmas) ... Until then, I'll just put this on repeat ...
DON'T COME AROUND TONITE:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T6T3BlqidrI
November 21, 2016
How to Prepare for a Trump "Presidency": A Twelve Part Primer (Part 10)
REMINDER
No fear. Concrete plans with action steps so individuals can focus. Specific items to help you best be prepared for life post 1.20.17. Action verbs and goals ... also known as ... a twelve part primer on how to prepare for a Trump "Presidency".
Already shared ...
PART ONE: Learn how to scale a wall
PART TWO: Subscribe to 'The Crusader'
PART THREE: Max out your credit cards (quickly)
PART THREE: Max out your credit cards (quickly)
PART FOUR: Find the nearest fallout shelter
PART FIVE: Renovate your closet
PART SIX: Study French AND Russian (for slightly different reasons)
PART SEVEN: Study Nixon
PART EIGHT: Start an office pool
PART NINE: Get a gun
And tonight ...
PART TEN: Get male
The truth is that the easiest way to prepare for a Trump "Presidency" is to get male, as quickly as possible.
Of course, I do realize that it's not exactly possible to go out and become the male gender with only eight weeks before inauguration.
Although, come to think of it, trans is on trend currently -- but then there are issues with eliminating waste publicly and such that are much more involved for this little primer. And, just to show you how hypocritical this all is, if you are female going to male, you'll probably still be okay (it's just the male to female that are the bathroom predators, according to certain "logic").
If we've learned nothing else from the transition team news to date, the country is about to be overrun by those with the XY chromosome combo. Spoiler alert: they are going to make Jack Lemmon and Walter Matthau circa the 'Grumpy Old Men' movie era look like goodwill ambassadors.
Curmudgeons, not Charles, are about to be in charge (and actually Scott Baio IS going to be one of them maybe) ... and they're all gonna have penises. So if you don't have one, get one now and improve your chances for smooth sailing over the next few years (or months, if my other prediction holds true that this will be a partial-term "Presidency").
COMING TOMORROW ... PART ELEVEN: Get a female cup
ACTION STEP: LOOK AT ALL THE RAINING GRANDPAS:
Random Memorial for Monday 11/21/16
Pictured is my very first paycheck (from the summer of 1988 -- when I made $3.50 an hour!) and the swing shift supervisor plaque with my name on it that used to go in the sign by the front counter that I took with me when I left employment to go to my semester abroad in Germany during my sophomore year of college in the fall of 1990. (And, as bonus photos instead of my usual companion links, my very first performance review and the annual Christmas party programs with some old school McNames on it from our store, and a few shots I've posted previously in my Flashback Fridays.)Although the building burned down and was a total loss, the memories from time spent there can't be so easily destroyed.
McDonald's was one of my first jobs -- and it was how I got to know half of the small town where I grew up. Back in that day, there was just an East and a West McDs (as opposed to now, when there are ones in Myerstown AND in the North *AND* in the South -- although I think the West one might have closed down at some point since I left town). Plus, being on the East End, it afforded me the opportunity as a high school student to meet kids from multiple school districts -- Elco, Cedar Crest and the city school all convened there.
McDonald's was also tied in to my personal drama of running away from home, as the stepmother forced me to quit (there were tears and lots of cards and even poems written for me during that angsty time ... and I may have run in one night when my friend Jarrod was working and asked him to punch my arm so that I could feel the bruise and remember that there were people who cared about me, in some sad twisted kind of teenage logic) ... and then as I got my job back as soon as I ran away and struck out "on my own", with lots of support, of course. Store manager Steve B still gets credit when I celebrate the March 15th personal day of independence, and I can vividly remember him walking me across the street to the bank (Peoples' Bank back then) to open up my first checking account on my own.
McDonald's memories for me are all about the people ... from managers to customers to co-workers. It's where I met my closest friends (Jarrod S, Kyle K and Eric F all worked there at one point or another). It was directly connected to four of the five proms I attended (with prom dates Lesley G, Becke G, Jody W and Kristi G all being regular customers or co-workers). It was about everyone -- from the early morning regular guy Joe T to the seniors who worked the day shift, like George the fry guy, on down to the people who only worked to collect the pins (Shirley G) and the evening maintenance men Miguel R, who changed out the grease each night in the fryers (and hit on all the girls that closed with his Latin Lover routine) and hepC Ed. It was where I got managed for the first time ... from the aforementioned Steve B, Gerry S, Julia K, Alfredo R, Gina R, Cora B, Terry B and many more.
Back then, we did things together .. especially when our store joined all the other ones in the Hassman empire. We went white water rafting together. We went skiing together. We competed in McTrivia contests together (and Howard H and Steve Z and Marci took that stuff very seriously, as I recall). We attended parties together (I'm thinking specifically of Jody N's graduation party and bonfire -- there was a bonfire, wasn't there?)
I loved me the drive-thru ... especially when we expanded it so that we'd have a separate drive thru payment window (and got a skinny manager's office in the process). I was there for the launch of the headsets with the two buttons (one to talk outside and one to talk to the people on the inside) ... and I had a great time being "the voice" -- except for when I didn't have customers and had to make those Happy Meal boxes (shout-out to the McNugget Buddies!) ... or salads ('cause I was old enough to work the deadly tomato slicer that 15 year olds couldn't go near). I saw the koi pond go in. And the parking lot next door get annexed to our store -- and I was there when Gerry had to come back at the end of the night to kick out all of the people who were cruising the loop and had stopped to hang out.
But I did it all, as I worked my way up from crew to crew trainer to swing shift supervisor. I primed the shake machine. I washed the dishes when we closed (for what seemed like hours). I calibrated the fountain drink machine (and can still instantly tell when I eat out whether any establishment's machine is overdue for maintenance). I got up super early and rode my bike (this was before I had a car) to be one of the first people in the place to make the biscuits. I was there when we got the first clam shell grill. I was the promo guy who swapped out the special lighted panels (and organized the messy closets near the ceiling in the crew room) and I served on the enthusiasm committee. I did the ordering, and inventoried those sliding shelves in the stock room, and made sure we had the frozen birthday cakes available AND ordered and paid for my own personal case of McChocolate Chip Cookies every so often that I used to have to throw to my friends across the Plaza.
I was there when it was super busy and every space on the grill was full, and we were flying through the act of dressing the carmelized buns with those little mayo and mac sauce guns. I was there when the snows came and we would cut people one by one to go home early. I know what happens when you get throw a snowball from the opposite side of the parking lot (if you're lucky, it goes in through the drive thru window) ... and what happens when you throw a pickle to the ceiling or a light fixture in the dining room (it stays there for weeks if no one else sees it) ... and what happens when some punk slams the cheap salt shaker down on top of a quarter and leaves it there (the next person picks it up and the bottom has been broken out so the salt goes *everywhere*) ... and what happens when a bunch of guys get together and try to force a certain young person to shave for the first time (the shake machine gets kicked out when that kid panics and almost throws his neck on the razor for spite) ... and what happens when a kid realizes he can make friends with the cool people by passing out extra game cards in the drive thru window.
I made my own double quarter pounder with cheese long before they were on the menu. I served McDLTs -- in *styrofoam* containers. I was there when they rolled out the McChicken for the first time (and the McRib -- the original time). I ate my crew food after the little aluminum number that matched the clock meant that the 10 minute holding time had expired ... and I may have actually eaten food out of the special food waste bucket at the end of the night (after it was counted) -- just once or twice. I drank McSuicides (a splash of every drink in a child's courtesy cup) and made my own special McDessert (soft serve ice cream in a large sized cup with a hot cherry pie shoved in its core and chocolate chip cookies all around it).
So yes ... buildings may burn ... and although the physical building will be missed (until it's rebuilt), the McMemories and the McRelationships of my first McJob will last forever.
November 20, 2016
How to Prepare for a Trump "Presidency": A Twelve Part Primer (Part 9)
REMINDER
No fear. Concrete plans with action steps so individuals can focus. Specific items to help you best be prepared for life post 1.20.17. Action verbs and goals ... also known as ... a twelve part primer on how to prepare for a Trump "Presidency".
Already shared ...
PART ONE: Learn how to scale a wall
PART TWO: Subscribe to 'The Crusader'
PART THREE: Max out your credit cards (quickly)
PART THREE: Max out your credit cards (quickly)
PART FOUR: Find the nearest fallout shelter
PART FIVE: Renovate your closet
PART SIX: Study French AND Russian (for slightly different reasons)
PART SEVEN: Study Nixon
PART EIGHT: Start an office pool
And tonight ...
PART NINE: Get a gun
This one's simple and requires little explanation.
Plus, if I use too many words with too many syllables, then I risk being called an elitist.
During the timeframe in which you are living in a "nation under Trump", you're going to need a gun. Because they are going to have one when they come for you.
You're going to have to be able to "stand your ground" (that's a Florida term for being able to shoot black people with just a verbal warning), and you're going to have to be armed.
Note: if you are experiencing mental issues, you may have to go to a gun show to get one. If you are a known felon, then you already know where to score your piece. If you are on the no-fly list, don't worry - you can go anywhere 'cause no one checks those names, as per certain politicians' wishes. If you live with a toddler, you're screwed, 'cause toddlers are *deadly* with those things -- just go ahead and update your will now.
Faster than Pence is going to get Hamilton closed down and replaced with the revival of "Annie Get Your Gun" with Sarah Palin in the lead, you need to be 'packing heat' in 2017.
COMING TOMORROW ... PART TEN: Get male
ACTION STEP: THEY'RE GOING TO HAVE ONE WHEN THEY COME FOR YOU SO ...:
Random Scandal Sheet for Sunday 11/20/16
What southern Florida is talking about this week ..Murder at Mills Pond Park!
No ... I'm not starting up the audience participation murder mysteries that I did in college in the 90's ... although the main character in my current creative project that I'm writing one post at a time (Lorem Ipsum) WILL find himself in Winston Falls in the New Year ... and he WILL interact with some people who survived those same stories.
Yes ... there WAS an actual murder and Mills Pond IS an actual park -- a park I visit frequently on my walks/bike rides and a park to which we take the puppies every so often.
This is a sign that greets parkgoers now, offering a $3000 reward for any information leading to the arrest of the killer of a popular kids' football coach who was gunned down in front of his players after a practice had ended. Of course, as more time has passed after the incident, it turns out that this particular football league, formed by Flo Rida, actually has a history that includes a sting for illegal gambling and the like -- making it seem like somebody might have owed somebody some money and couldn't pay up.
Remember when kids' sports was about the kids? Yeah ... not so much down here ...
THE ORIGINAL STORY:
http://wsvn.com/news/local/1-dead-in-shooting-at-youth-football-practice-at-fort-lauderdale-park/
A FEW DAYS LATER:
http://www.local10.com/news/crime/after-coachs-killing-history-of-little-league-football-gambling-resurfaces
DON'T WORRY WE'RE NOT ON THE TOP 100 DANGEROUS CITIES LIST (ARE YOU?):
https://www.neighborhoodscout.com/neighborhoods/crime-rates/top100dangerous/
November 19, 2016
Random Posting for Penn State 11/19/16
1.) I gotta say ... after hearing how many times Rutger's got shut out this season, I kind of wanted to let them score just a few points.
2.) Sleet ball! That's weather I vaguely remember from my past life in PA as opposed to my current life in Florida.
3.) Does anyone have the stats on how often the other team wins the coin toss? Is it just me or do we NEVER win?
4.) After that "oopsie" start to the game, I'm kind of glad that wasn't a sign of things to come.
5.) Marcus ALLEN ... we thank you for your touchdown ... we encourage you to keep it in perspective though and not celebrate in a way that makes you look like a douche nozzle.
6.) For a brief moment I thought that Trace MCSORLEY had a John Waters' style mustache, and then I realized it was just a shadow from his helmet.
7.) Maybe I'm old and out of the baby naming loop, but I would never have predicted that there would be a player named Saquon/Saquan on *both* teams (and a Goodwin and a Godwin)?
8.) And the creepy announcerman comment of the week goes to the one who short-shamed our guy, who he said was "born lower than everyone else".
9.) I don't care what anyone else says. *My* player of the week is going to have to be Evan SCHWAN for that mouthguard of his!
In closing, thanks to the Rutger's dick who threw that softball on the field for having such bad aim so that no one got hurt ... and dare I say it ... could it be EIGHT in a row next week for the all important last game of the regular season?
WHILE RESEARCHING COIN TOSSES, I FOUND THIS:
http://www.oddsshark.com/super-bowl/props/coin-toss
THE OTHER SAQUON/SAQUAN:
http://www.scarletknights.com/sports/m-footbl/mtt/saquan_hampton_925280.html
MY PLAYER OF THE WEEK (FOR HIS MOUTHGUARD):
http://www.gopsusports.com/sports/m-footbl/mtt/evan_schwan_812679.html
How to Prepare for a Trump "Presidency": A Twelve Part Primer (Part 8)
REMINDER
No fear. Concrete plans with action steps so individuals can focus. Specific items to help you best be prepared for life post 1.20.17. Action verbs and goals ... also known as ... a twelve part primer on how to prepare for a Trump "Presidency".
Already shared ...
PART ONE: Learn how to scale a wall
PART TWO: Subscribe to 'The Crusader'
PART THREE: Max out your credit cards (quickly)
PART THREE: Max out your credit cards (quickly)
PART FOUR: Find the nearest fallout shelter
PART FIVE: Renovate your closet
PART SIX: Study French AND Russian (for slightly different reasons)
PART SEVEN: Study Nixon
And tonight ...
PART EIGHT: Start an office pool
That's part eight, as in the number of current Supremes.
Absent any shenanigans on Dec 19th (the day the electoral college votes, for those of you who slept through Civics ... or who went to school at a time when Civics wasn't taught), this Trump "Presidency" thing is going to happen
So you might as well make some money off of it. (Note that this assumes you, the reader, isn't mega-wealthy ... as then you stand to make tons of money off of it as a matter of fact.)
My suggestion ... get an office pool going as to which one of the biggies will be overturned first -- and by overturned, I mean "chipped away at", seeing as how that's the way the judicial side of things works. Will it be Roe? Or Loving? Or Obergefell? Let your co-workers weigh in (and pay you to do so).
If you want to make it interesting, you could always add Citizens United to the list ... although everybody should know there's no chance of *that* going away any time soon now, so that would be a ringer question to ensure cash in your pocket (decidedly apropos, if you think about it).
COMING TOMORROW ... PART NINE: Get a gun
ACTION STEP ... GUESS WHICH WILL FALL FIRST:
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