2 0 8 4:M i s s i v e 11

t1a7n72:  Have you downloaded the app as I requested in my last communication?

Troy:  I did.  I have it on my phone.  But it doesn't seem to do anything.

t1a7n72:  Click on the three dots in the upper right hand corner.

Troy:  I get a menu of sorts.  Letters and numbers but I don't understand them.

t1a7n72:  In your day, it's still just a prototype.  Is there a capital P?

Troy:  There is.

t1a7n72:  You need to find a doorway that faces north.  It MUST face north.  

Troy:  Um.  Okay.  But you'll have to wait a moment.  I have to figure out for sure which way north is.

t1a7n72:  You must hurry.  Our window ends at midnight.

Troy:  One moment.  Okay.  I have it pointed to the doorway.

t1a7n72:  Click on the P and you'll see a light illuminate that doorway.  Walk through it, but be sure to keep a hold of your cellphone the whole time.

Troy:  Walking ...

t1a7n72:  Once you get through the portal, you'll be with me in 2084.

Troy:  Wait, what!?!

t1a7n72:  It's almost midnight.  You must take action.  But make sure you're facing north.

Troy:  How do I know you're not catfishing me?

t1a7n72:  You have less than ten minutes.  I've contacted you multiple times.  It's now or never.  Come join me.  Walk through the portal.

Troy:  Walking ...

t1a7n72:  Welcome to 2084!  We have been waiting for you ...

Random Soapbox for Saturday 12/31/16

I don't mean to go off on a rave here, but ...

In response to all the 2016-shaming I've seen on the interwebs (which in turn seems to have resulted in some shaming of the 2016 shamers ['cause, you know, that's how the interwebs work]), I want to be sure to rave about the sixteen best things from *my* year -- and also because it's an annual tradition for me (this is the seventh! list).

Consistent with the way things have been presented in the past, the list will be alphabetical and is as follows:

1.)  BIKING:  I'm on a long term weight loss journey, and after my attempts at jogging in 2015 led to a knee doctor telling me I was going to have to lose weight some other way before my knees would permit me to lose weight by jogging, I ended up back on a bike for exercise -- a place I hadn't been since I was regularly on a bike for actual transportation before I had a car back in the early 90's.  I am happy to report that the time away didn't matter, as that whole "it's like riding a bike" thing is actually spot on.

2.)  BOOK SALE:  Guess who found a local annual "friends of the library" book sale, where hardcovers are only $1 (and it's buy 4, get 1 free) and paperbacks are only a quarter?  Guess who's going to need a new bookshelf before too long?  (The answer is "me" ... to both questions.)

3.)  CASANOVA and OZZIE:  It was the third year raising two rescued pit bulls (one with allergies and the other with anxiety [and only 3 legs and a "wing" ... but that doesn't really stop him from doing much of anything]).  I'm not 100% sure, but I'm pretty sure it's the reason "work from home" was invented.

4.)  CHERRY CHERRY WHISKEY SOUR:  When I was young, I was a proficient bar crawler.  Now that I'm not as young, it's more likely that the drinks will happen at home once a week or so -- and the specific drink of the night is going to be a cherry whiskey sour with a splash of cherry juice and two to three cherries.  You know what?  It's a lot less expensive, too!

5.)  ELECTION SEASON:  Admittedly, it was a bit unpresidented all around (and it looks like it's going to stay that way for some time).  Things could get serious really quickly in the new year, but until the nuclear war starts, I'll stand by my statement that it sure was fun to watch it all come together/fall apart.  Plus I now live in a contested state, so although all votes matter, it felt like mine might have mattered a little more than all those years living in Chicago.

6.)  FIFTY TASTES OF FLORIDA:  I've been doing this writing thing for so long now that every now and then, I have to change it up just for the heck of it ... and this year, that meant that the "Random Thought for Thursday" became a "Random Taste for Thursday" instead, with one new eating establishment to review each week of the year.  Having completed all fifty meals, I have to say we had a blast (and we will continue in 2017 with fifty more new places to eat).

7.)  ICE CUBE TRAYS: Sometimes it' s the simple things -- and the ice cube trays needed to be replaced this year.  The first attempts were too cheap -- and snapped into pieces the first time I tried to break out the cubes.  But that second set, though:  perfect cubes, every time.  There were *other* good things that happened this past year, but I'd be lying if I didn't admit as to how happy they make me feel.

8.)  JOHN GUARE:  My acting "career", such as it was, started my freshperson semester of college with a role in 'House of Blue Leaves'.  Thanks to a presentation at a local university here in Florida, I got to meet the playwright AND he graciously signed my cast poster.  Good things come to those who wait ... and to those who hang on to their college stuff twenty seven years and counting.

9.)  MATTHEW, THE HURRICANE:  Three years I've been a Floridian -- and the storm named Matt was the closest I came to getting to experience an actual hurricane EXCEPT I was out of town when it showed up and EXCEPT it decided to skip our part of Florida for landfall further up north anyway.

10.)  MOVIE WEEKENDS:  I've previously disclosed that "my name is Troy ... and I'm a television addict", but this year I took it up a notch and devoted some of that tv time to movies (almost always at home curled up on the couch with the puppies) with #superherosaturdays and #stephenkingsundays.  I'm a man on a mission ... and I've made tremendous progress.

11.)  MULCH:  I may also be addicted to mulch.  To be fair, the back yard can't have dirt patches in it because of Casanova's allergies ... and the three attempts at sod (in ever smaller amounts) all failed.  So if I get my jollies on the weekends getting four bags and spreading it around over and over again again ... so what?

12.)  MURDER, THE CAT:  She was the only one who lived in PA, Chicago AND Ft Lauderdale -- which is what happens when you live a good long seventeen years or so.  This year, she passed, and although that's sad, the best part is of all the memories we have of her ... 'cause that way she lives forever.

13.)  OCTOBER TRAVELS:  In a car, up the coast, through Greenville and Charlotte in the Carolinas plus Blacksbug and then into western PA, across the center of the state down to my alma mater and back down the coast through DC and Chapel Hill and Jacksonville.  All in all, it was eight states in eight days (or more like 16 states since I was in almost all the states more than once) and the itinerary wasn't as important as all the people I got to see along the way.  If I missed you this time, I 'll be back in Sep 2018 (mark your calendars now) ...

14.)  SIGNING A 2 YEAR LEASE:  Little did we know that negotiating when we re-signed in March would pay off ... when the landlord's father put the house up for sale in the last few months of the year.  Although an offer came in, when you factored in our timeline and the amount of money we needed to buy out the lease, the offer was pulled and the house is no longer for sale.  Some decisions pay off dividends in ways you couldn't predict.

15.)  WALT/DOLLY:  Sometimes, vacation comes to you.  At least, that's how we feel when Walt and Dolly come for their annual stay in the winter.  We're all getting older, so we don't have quite as many activities as when they used to come to visit us in Chicago, but it's still a chance to go to the fair ... or to go out to eat a few times ... or to just stay home and play cards.  Plus, as tradition dictates, it always includes my annual birthday dinner at a steakhouse ... so there's that.

16.)  YOU:  It takes this honorary position every year at the end of my best of list (I'm not sure what's going to happen if I ever have a best something or other that starts with a Z), and that's for a specific reason.  Whether I managed to actually see YOU this year in my travels, or whether I just followed along with what YOU do on the Facebook, rest assured that my life is better because YOU are in it.  If ever there was a time to remember that YOU and I are in this together, it's now.  Thank YOU for being YOU -- and here's to YOU (and me) having the best new year ahead!

OF COURSE THEY'RE ON MY BEST OF LIST:
https://www.facebook.com/thecasanovajames/?ref=aymt_homepage_panel

OF COURSE I HAD A GREAT TIME WITH THIS:
https://www.facebook.com/troy.neidermyer/media_set?set=a.10204145370194844.1073741843.1843633569&type=3

OF COURSE I WAS THERE WHEN JOHN GUARE CAME TO TOWN:
http://capcognition.blogspot.com/2016/01/random-scandal-sheet-for-sunday-13116.html

Random Flashback for Friday 12/30/16

And I shall end the year looking back at the one from twenty years ago in the same manner as I often do ... with photos that my bio-mom sent me in my Christmas card that year (that year being 1996, for those of you who struggle with the math).

Seeing as how our family was (and still is) scattered across the country, this was her way of keeping us apprised of the activities of the nieces and nephews out west with her -- and by nieces and nephews, I mean my sister Holly's kids Ashlyn M (she with the Barbie travellin' house) and Nicholas (he with the unknown item that clearly is requiring ALL of his concentration to open).

So ends this 1996 photo album on the Facebook ... here's to photos from 1997 appearing in a fortnight (because I will continue to alternate these kind of pictures with the special series of "photos I inherited from my father" on alternating Fridays).

Happy New Year (whether this one we're currently in OR a belated greeting for the one that started two decades ago to which we'll be flashing back soon enough ...)

Random Thought for Thursday 12/29/16

On the first Thursday of the year, I announced that I would be starting something new ... getting a taste of fifty different restaurants in the local area in Florida ... and on the last Thursday of the year, I can happily say that I was successful -- so much so that the whole thing will repeat in 2017 (but on its own dedicated site).  More to come on that next week ... for tonight it's time to award THE BEST OF 2016 with regards to the 50 Tastes of Florida.

First -- some numbers.  19 of the 50 got perfect scores for ambiance and 14 did the same for service and for bacon (because it can't be a score of mine without a separate category for pig candy).  70% of them earned the final +1 bonus point designating that we'd gladly return.  Almost half (23) of the eating establishments had a Ft. Lauderdale address ... and the most popular types were burger joints (7), diners (6) and sports bars (5).  Grades were awarded from a high of 98 (to 2 places ... more on that below) on down to 70, with a grade distribution as follows:  12 As, 23 Bs and 15 Cs.

And before we get to the specific categories, four entries earned perfect 10s in the food category, and deserve to be called out:  Howie's Top Dog, Smoke BBQ, The Spillover and Tequila Sunrise Mexican Grill.

Now ... the BEST OF 2016 (with what was said in the original post in the quotes):

BEST AMBIANCE ... The Alchemist:  "one of the big reasons to find this little corner of the world is for the people-watching and the surroundings-watching -- where you can look every which way and see something new and interesting with every glance ... it's exactly what you want an outdoor brunch spot in sunny Ft. Lauderdale to be".

Honorable Mention ... World Famous Parrot Lounge: "outdoor seating ... with multiple TVs in sight ... just a block or two from the beach ... and a bucket of brew ... plus almost everyone -- customers and staff included -- dressed in your team's shirts (it's a Penn State bar!)"

BEST SERVICE ... Linda at The Floridian:   "the server was excellent at her job, making every stop at the table seem like we all were just picking up a multi part conversation ... and, in many ways, we were, as we got to talk to her about her frequent trips to Chicago and other recent fun of hers".

Honorable Mention ... Annie at Grampa's Bakery and Restaurant:  "'hey guys' was the greeting by the kind of waitress you expected to see at a place named Grampa's ... personable and professional and so much on her game that she seemed to float past the tables in her section passing out things that you didn't even know you needed yet while she was infecting folks with smiles and her good attitude."

BEST DRINK ... deconstructed hot chocolate at The Alchemist:  "who cares about the food when the hot chocolate arrives as steamed milk and a swiss roll type hunk of chocolate that you make yourself by dunking it into the mug while you wait for it to melt (the longer you wait, the more your patience is rewarded because the chocolatey-er it gets)".

Honorable Mention ... the mead flight at The Spillover:  "every sip was delicious ... [including] the variety of additives in the honey-sweetened mead drinks".

BEST APPETIZER ... gator ribs at The Spillover:  "the sauced up ribs of the alligator -- which our party ordered as an appetizer and shared, because the chalkboard countdown told us that there were still some available, what with only 15 being prepared daily".

Honorable Mention ... zucchini planks at Primanti Bros.:  "for putting those zucchinis in planks -- I've had sticks and circles and fries ... but never planks"!

BEST SIDE ... special brussels sprouts at Temple Street Eatery:   "the menu description wasn't available, but there were apples and red onions mixed in".

Honorable Mention ... fries at The Burning Oak BBQ:  "the special seasoning on those thick cut fries --  the secret was disclosed to me, but I'm not sure that I want to ruin the pleasant surprise for anyone visiting next".

BEST MAIN ... brunch sampler at BC Cafe:  "[one of] the ten 'outrageous' brunches in the area.  This particular place was deemed 'outrageous' because it permits its customers who can't decide which dish to order ... to get ALL of them (in half-portion size, for a reasonable price for parties of two)".

Honorable Mention ... the tray of food at Smoke BBQ:  "from cornbread to meats to tater tots, everything was fresh and hot and tasty ... rubbed just right and cooked to perfection with straightforward sides that didn't try too hard to be something they weren't ... and the best part may have been the chicken, which had the extra taste of being quickly deep fried and was chopped up in just the right pieces ... plus, while walking to the car afterwards, I realized that I had a pleasant tingle on my lips from all the flavor".

BEST BACON ... the bacon chocolate manhattan at ROK BRGR:  "bacon infused makers, aztec chocolate bitters sweet vermouth and a splash of maple syrup served on the rocks". 

Honorable Mention ... the candied bacon at The Burning Oak BBQ:  "any non-breakfast place that is smart enough to put bacon as a side in the same spot on the menu as the vegetables is MY kind of place ... plus that candied bacon (that I got as dessert instead) was on my loaded chips and was also available for other dishes".

BEST DESSERT ... the s'more sundae at Bonefish Mac Sports Grille:  layers of graham crackers, chocolate ice cream, warm marshmallow sauce and hot fudge topped with mini-marshmallows and a fudge graham cookie

Honorable Mention ... Mrs. McHugh’s banana créme pie at The Spillover:  homemade crème pie made with vanilla beans, a walnut and graham cracker crust, topped with bananas, whipped cream, caramel sauce and dusted with bittersweet chocolate

BEST OVERALL ... as previously mentioned, there were two locations that earned the highest scores of 98 ... Bonefish Mac Sports Grille and The Burning Oak BBQ.  Their complete reviews are provided in the links below/to follow;

Congratulations to all of the winners and a special thanks to all 50 of the Tastes for this inaugural year.  Here's to 50 more in the year to come!

BONEFISH MAC SPORTS GRILLE TIE FOR BEST OVERALL TASTE OF FLORIDA '16:
http://capcognition.blogspot.com/2016/08/random-thought-for-thursday-8416.html

THE BURNING OAK BBQ TIE FOR BEST OVERALL TASTE OF FLORIDA '16:
http://capcognition.blogspot.com/2016/07/random-thought-for-thursday-7716.html

Random Wordplay for Wednesday 12/28/16

Zion curtain.

Used in a sentence:  "Contrary to what you might think, the Zion curtain is NOT a proposal to address the mess that is the middle east NOR is it a decoration tip for the almost completed holiday season but it IS what you can expect in restaurants in Utah that opened after 2012 -- a minimum seven foot wall shielding innocent eyes from the mixing of alcohol into drinks."

If you're a regular reader, you already know I have a one person crusade against the privacy shields at my local Publix, ostensibly hiding boobie cleavage from young ones (young ones who then go slaughter avatars of each other in their video games ... but I digress), so you can only imagine the frustration I feel at this little legislative gem.

Of course, I know, I know ... religion rules in Utah, and the church/state separation in other parts of the country is nigh unto non-existent there.  But if the geniuses behind 'South Park' proved nothing, it's that it's socially acceptable to mock a Mormon every now and again (see also:  "president"-elect Trump meeting Romney early in his transition).  To that end, it's time to tell folks to stop getting their temple undergarments in a twist, and that real life has to be lived in front of, not behind, the Zion curtain.

Count me among those who say, "Utah legislators, tear down that Zion wall ... I mean curtain!"

COULD IT BE THE NEXT POPULAR PROTESTABLE TREND:
http://www.latimes.com/nation/la-na-utah-zion-curtain-20161111-story.html

MORE ALCOHOL FUN IN UTAH (THAT WOULD MAKE A QUAKER FROM PA UPSET):
http://philadelphiafreepress.com/behind-the-zion-curtain-here-are-utah-liquor-laws-that-would-even-drive-p5666-1.htm

UTAH ISN'T ALONE WHEN IT COMES TO LAUGHABLE LIQUOR LAWS:
http://time.com/money/4048973/states-with-crazy-alcohol-liquor-laws/

Random Tune for Tuesday 12/27/16

This picture may look familiar ... because it's *almost* identical to the last one posted in this series a fortnight ago.

Eagle eyes will see though that the B side of this homemade recording is showing this time.  As for why it's in the trash, well that's because it represents an item for which there is also a matching CD in the personal music collection, rendering it okay for the cassette to be discarded.

Another programming note ... this will be the last Random Tune for Tuesday (something new starts next week), but the discarded cassette series will continue with a small tweak as it moves to Mondays in 2017.

As such, I'm going to break with tradition and feature TWO tunes from this particular album -- because I couldn't choose.

There's the wisdom about the secret of life ...

The secret of life is gettin' up early
The secret of life is stayin' up late
The secret of life is try not to hurry
But don't wait
Don't wait

But there's also the inspirational song -- much needed for our times -- reminding us to be there for each other:

The whole world's gone and let you down but
Better days they're comin' for you
I know they will
'Cause I'll be right here makin' sure they do

Thanks Faith for helping us keep the faith ...

TRY NOT TO HURRY BUT DON'T WAIT, DON'T WAIT:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bNnlcqf00YU

TOGETHER WE CAN BRING BETTER DAYS FOR EACH OTHER:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pnVboZ2HlEI

Random Memorial for Monday 12/26/16

Gone but not forgotten:  Days villain Stefano DiMera.

Or is he?

I mean, let's face it.  He's been "gone" in some capacity or another before -- a LOT of times.  According to wikipedia, he did so in '83, '84, '85, '91, '94 (twice), '96 (twice), '02, '04, '07, '12 and again earlier this year in '16.  How else would you get the nickname of the Phoenix?  (I didn't personally see all of those, since I picked up Days full time the summer before college in '89 and stopped watching for the last time back in '12.)

Now that I've seen the obituary in the New York Times, it *sounds* a little more official, but I guess only time will tell if he's really really gone.

All (attempts at) kidding aside, thoughts and prayers to the family of Joseph Mascolo, who passed away in real life earlier this month.  You who brought a classic character to life on the best daytime drama ever made, partly by creating your own accent that will be forever remembered for its uniqueness, you will most definitely be missed.

THE SOURCE FOR THE DEATH DATES:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stefano_DiMera#Fake_death_timeline

THE LAST TIME THE CHARACTER DIED:
http://soaps.sheknows.com/days-of-our-lives/news/46359/joseph-mascolos-stefano-killed-off-days-of-our-lives

THE LAST TIME THE ACTOR DIED:
http://www.nytimes.com/2016/12/12/arts/television/joseph-mascolo-days-of-our-lives-villain-dies-at-87.html?_r=0

Random Scandal Sheet for Sunday 12/25/16

What southern Florida is talking about this week:

Christmas!

Well, actually, what with the large Jewish population down here, it's also safe to say that there is a southern Florida contingent of size talking about Hanukkah instead.

Regardless, to those of you who celebrate, and for those of you who participate in Christmas-adjacent activities, may your days be merry and bright ... and the last line of that song will have to be omitted because it has no meaning down here *other* than a racist one.

In all seriousness, though, from all of us to all of you (plural), here's hoping the festivities didn't drive you to therapy as those shown in the image ... and that your day was spent with loved ones or with the memories of loved ones ... 'til the season comes 'round again.

MAY THE NEW YEAR BE BLESSED WITH GOOD TIDINGS:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2p4PWrL8igE

SO I WAS JOKING, BUT MAYBE CHRISTMAS IS TOO WHITE AFTER ALL:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2p4PWrL8igE

REGARDLESS, HERE'S WHAT I *REALLY* THINK NOWADAYS:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RmF2rsDHOZc

Random Soapbox for Saturday 12/24/16

I don't mean to go off on a rant here, but ...

... all I want for this darn Christmas is less shaming and more inclusivity.  That can't be too much of a surprise, seeing as how I've been concerned about the rise of the fear of "the other" across the land.

The latest example chapping my hide comes from the local Publix.  Mind you, I'm still awfully fond of the grocery store and it is still my go-to stop for shopping in the area.  I've even found a way to get past their over-reliance on the privacy screens on the periodicals by taking them off the covers with the cleavage showing and moving them over to the ones with the "president"-elect on them.

The reason for my disappointment was in the produce aisle, when I was taken aback by the separation and labeling of certain tomatoes as "uglyripe" ones.  I paused to gather my thoughts, and then spoke to each one, looking it directly in the stem, and repeating a mantra to them about how they were each pretty exactly as they were, and how I wanted them to consider themselves "beautifulripe" tomatoes henceforth.

One day we'll live in a world where all will be accepted for what they have to contribute ... one day there will be no such thing as tomato-shaming ... ONE day ...

LOOK ... YOU CAN BUY UGLYRIPES FROM SANTA!:
http://www.santasweets.com/products/uglyripes.php

SPEAKING OF NO LABELS:
https://www.nolabels.org/

TO BE CLEAR, I DON'T LIVE IN FORT MYERS:
http://www.nbc26.com/news/national-politics/trump-cover-up-man-says-publix-shielded-trump-covered-magazines

Random Flashback for Friday 12/23/16

Tonight's theme for the 26th batch of photos of my father's that I inherited when he passed is "black and white finale reprise" -- because although I said the last time that it was the end of the black and white photos, I found a few more in a different place -- a family history folder I started back in college.  And what with this being the last post of this kind in this year, it just seemed like a good a spot as any to supplement what I was doing -- which means photos of color will definitely start in two weeks ... in 2017.  As for these, let's call them ...

#126:  another family gathering (probably Easter based on the lilies on the table) with my dad and his dad (my grandpa) seated at the head and assorted (unknown) family all around
#127:  my father's father (my grandpa Paul) at a Memorial Day picnic, with "daddy" and "May 30 1966" written on it in my father's handwriting
#128:  the newspaper announcement for Paul and Esther (my father's parents -- my grandparents) about their 50th wedding anniversary in the Reading Eagle dated Oct 31 1971 (a few months before I was born)
#129:  a picture of my dad's mom's parents (my greatgrandparents) sent to me by cousin Suzanne MC, with the elderly man's helper dog prominently featured
#130:  a garden child wedding scene (why I have no idea) featuring, according to my dad's writing on the back:  Tommy, Evelyn (my aunt), Buddy (my dad) and Junior (my uncle) ... I'm guessing Tommy was a family friend, making the whole wedding scene between siblings less creepy -- by the age of my father, this picture is probably from the late 20's
#130b:  another view of the same scene
#130c:  a close up of the four kiddies, with the assumption that my dad is the one with the crooked bowtie on the second from the right

Random Thought for Thursday 12/22/16

[My ongoing series for 2016 ends tonight ... with the FIFTIETH of FIFTY tastes of FLORIDA (as has come to you on sequential Thursdays.  All.  Year.  Long.)!]

Establishment:  Stork's Cafe Bakery
Location:  Wilton Manors
Meal:  Lunch
Drink:  Fountain Coke
Appetizer:  Bowl of Chicken Rosemary Soup
homemade from scratch
Main:  1/2 a Chicken Caesar Wrap
tender roasted chicken breast, grated asiago cheese, crunchy croutons, and romaine with caesar dressing
Side(s):  n/a
Dessert:  Monster SnickerDoodle Cookie
Server:   name not gotten at this counter service location

What a year it's been!  Back on January 14th I posted the FIRST ... and tonight I post the FIFTIETH in the "tastes of Florida" series!  Next week, I'll wrap up properly (including a few "best of" acknowledgements) ... so without getting ahead of myself, below is a well known local establishment that is big on being a coffee shop, a bakery, a caterer AND a spot for lunch (all day lunch, seeing as how they are open until midnight seven days a week).  To see how the final entry in the series registered on the Troy-score scale, read below:

AMBIANCE:   8/10 (it's a cute and cozy place ... with an outdoor patio for more seating options that you get to share with a few of the little little birdies [and there's no sign saying you can't feed them, so we did] ... but a point lost for a tiny ordering area [I can't imagine the confusion when the place is super busy] and a second point lost for the crap shoot of those who might be your patio-mates [including a lady who was on the phone cancelling her evening plans because she was feeling ill and feeling contagious ... and another who used the available ashtray despite being just a table away from us who were eating])
FOOD:            8/10 (without a doubt, the soup was the star ... and you knew it was homemade by the occasional rosemary sprig you had to politely discard from your mouth ... but it was clearly made with love as it tasted so lovely ... less impressive was the wrap, which looked to have been pre-made -- either for efficiency for the special of the day OR because someone had ordered the other half prior to my arrival [so a point lost] and a second point lost for watered down fountain soda [a pet peeve of mine for places that are behind on their calibration maintenance])
SERVICE:      8/10 (being a counter location, there's not a lot of interaction with the serving staff, and although they were effective and efficient, they didn't "wow" with any style that would bring me back just to see them smiling on the other side of the counter ... so a point lost for being mostly unmemorable, and a second point lost for the confusion that I mentioned earlier with the layout [we weren't sure if we were next, or if there was a line, or where to go to place our order])
BACON:         6/10 (from the menu posted online, I found bacon on two wraps and a salad ... which just isn't enough to score highly on this part of the evaluation ... I'd have liked to have seen it more creatively used OR to have seen just more of it)
BONUS:         10/10 (+3 for how that giant snickerdoodle reminding me of holidays past with my surrogate grandmother, +3 for the rest of the dessert case that tempted us greatly as we left the establishment, +3 for so so many options on the pretty chalkboards from which to choose and +1 for being a place to which we will most definitely return, likely with family when they come to visit)

TroyScore:  40 out of 50 -- aka 80, a B (but barely)

Random Wordplay for Wednesday 12/21/16

Over, Done With, Gone.

Used in a sentence:  "Who knew that I'd find the best self-help advice for modern times in the 1983 classic 'Cujo', but I'll be damned if I wasn't drawn to the way that the [spoiler alert ahead] faithless mom and failure of a dad dealt with their overly sensitive boy and his nightmares about the monster in the closet -- repeating, over and over again, the phrase 'Over, Done With, Gone'."

Maybe it's a mantra YOU need to hear right now so that YOU can deal with the monsters in YOUR closet?

Over, Done With, Gone.  Over, Done With, Gone.  Over, Done With, Gone.

FROM THE MOVIE:
http://www.subzin.com/quotes/M8959db9a/Cujo/Over%2C+done+with%2C+gone.

WAIT, WHAT? CUJO IS GETTING REMADE:
http://www.cinemablend.com/new/Cujo-Remake-Title-Isn-t-Going-Sit-With-Some-Fans-72427.html

THIS SONG HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE MOVIE (I THINK):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vpr6tm02L6w

Random Tune for Tuesday 12/20/16

It's Christmas time (so let me sleep).

To celebrate today's news that PJam is indeed being inducted into the Hall of Fame in 2017 ... and also in honor of the holidays that are upon us ... how's about a classic oldie from the boys in the band that captures the joy of the season.

Well, maybe "joy" is a misplaced word, as the little ditty is all about trying to sleep through Christmas because the magic from how it used to be is all gone.

But for those of you in full on frigid winter, it does include this pithy realization for this time of year:  

"Thought you burned not froze for your sins"

So ... ummmm ... happy (?) holidays to you and yours?!?

RESPITE AND RESPITE AND NEPENTHE:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CzjgMXseMvg

How to Prepare for a Trump "Presidency": A Twelve Part Primer

PREAMBLE

Being the helpful guy that I am, who is also committed to looking forward, and knowing that the recent election has been challenging for a great many individuals, I am pleased to present a twelve part primer on how to prepare for a Trump "Presidency".

I still stand by my prediction that this will be a partial term "presidency", and that Don Sr will actually quit or do something so egregious that he will be ripped from the oval office before the next election.

But until then ... I do not want people to be paralyzed with fear.  I want to offer up a concrete plan consisting of action steps on which individuals can focus.  What follows over the next dozen days will be specific items that will help you be best prepared for life after January 20, 2017.  There will be action verbs and there will be goals against which you can measure your success, starting tonight with ...

PART ONE:  Learn how to scale a wall.

Much has been made of the border plans for a wall to keep others OUT.

Little has been said about how a wall works both ways ... and that it can also be used to keep you IN against your will.

There may come a time after Jan 20 where you may need to make an escape from your environs, and a wall may be standing in your way.  As such, you should immediately add wall-scaling into your workout routine.

Courtesy of the interwebs (specifically the wiki how-to), below is an eight step process that might just one day be a key part of your temporary escape from Trumpland:

1. First eye the spot on which to place your foot on the wall, waist height is good.
2. Get a fair amount of distance away from your wall. What you feel is necessary, but try to be as close as possible--enough so you can gather speed and momentum to run up the wall.
3. Start running moderately fast, increase speed as your getting close to the wall.
4. Jump and put the ball of your comfortable foot on the wall where you eyed it, and at the same time thrust your other leg up hard; in a bike riding way to gain up momentum.
5. Swing your arms and shoulders up to get more up momentum while pushing up.
6. Reach, and reach good, as high as you can up and grab an edge.
7. Pull yourself up and keep pulling up like on a rock climbing wall, or if possible, simply grab the top and pull yourself up. Remember to get your leg up and then you're good.
8. Continue on your adventure.

PART TWO:  Subscribe to 'The Crusader'

Knowledge is power.

And you'll need to get past the fact that I'm talking about a communication method used by those affiliated with the *white* power movement.

Seeing as how Don Sr has a rough relationship with the current media, and knowing how eager this resource was to trumpet the fact that their values were aligned when they officially endorsed him shortly before election day, it is highly recommended that you get plugged in to this periodical in order to get scoops about what will be forthcoming from this administration for as long as it lasts.

If Bannon and the alt-right are going to start calling all the shots, it behooves you to get spoiler alerts as to where the "bullets" will be aimed.

I recognize that some of you may not want to have your name associated with such a publication, but I also think that there is a harm to "living in the bubble" and surrounding yourself with only those who think like you do, say things you say and believe what you believe.

If you belong to that category of folk, then I recommend that you subscribe under an alias.  May I suggest Mr. Ritz, Mr. Keebler or Mr. Lantz -- or any other famous names of crackers.  I doubt they'll get it.  But you'll get all the news that's unfit to print.

PART THREE:  Max out your credit cards (quickly)

You too can be a genius

Because there are bankruptcy laws out there ... so why not use them?  At least until someone changes them ... and I'm guessing that Trump and team, with his affinity for the filing maneuver, won't be in any hurry to do so.  

So go spend.  Max out the cards.  It's good for business ... it will be good for the economy ... it will be good for your image.  I even recommend splurging for some gold plated items.

Now note ... if circumstances end up being that you can't afford to pay the bills when they come due, and if the debt collectors start calling, just refer them to Trump (and take credit for keeping debt collectors employed, helping the economy).  If you're old enough to remember Coolidge's "chicken in every pot" strategy (and if you are, then you're probably too old to be reading this primer), surely it was an unstated campaign promise this time around that Americans (and maybe even America itself) can go ahead and get all bankrupt -- in a patriotic way.

"You get a bankruptcy!  YOU get a bankruptcy!  *YOU* get a bankruptcy!"

One final caveat -- if you take action on this item, do do so quickly.  After all, I still think it's highly likely that this will be a partial-term "Presidency", and that he'll be ripped from that oval office faster than those babies out of those vaginas three days before they're born that were referenced in the debate.  (Just a hunch.)

Don't miss out on being a genius too.

PART FOUR:  Find the nearest fallout shelter

No matter what you read in those Biden memes ... he now has the codes.

It is perfectly "reasonable" (if that word has any meaning left to it, that is) to expect that some morning between 2 and 3 am, the Donald is going to read something on the twitter not to his liking and Rosie O'Donnell's house is going to become ground zero ... redefining twitter war for the Trump era.

On the international front, don't forget that both roly poly Kim Jong Un AND the "President Elect" claim Dennis Rodman as "their" African American, so a dispute over to which leader he belongs could get ugly and go nuclear relatively quickly.

In my hometown of Lebanon, the Hebron United Methodist church had a special unused entrance facing an alley that had a fallout shelter sign posted on it.  Having lived through and survived the Cold War (which included an American President who knew the value of tearing down walls), I distinctly remember having a sense of peace knowing that I could get to a safe place just a few blocks away.

Please consider scoping out your neighborhood for similar signs from a time gone by ... just in case that "time gone by" turns into a time about to be.

PART FIVE:  Renovate your closet

Unless you happen to be in a sanctuary city (or county) ... which you'll know by the spots of blueness in the election results map.

If you live in the blue areas, the amount of time you'll be spending in your closet likely won't change.  You can be you out in the open in most blue spots.

However, if you live in a area that's not blue (i.e.  red, or gray like in Michigan, who *still* hasn't officially declared a color allegiance over a week after everyone else's vote was settled), and seeing as how we have a "vice president elect" who suffers from selective scripture syndrome and who has gone on record that those with alternative lifestyles shouldn't have pizza ... or flowers ... ('cause Jesus), you may need to plan on spending a little more time in said closet.

So you might as well renovate it.  Add a pizza oven.  Install a grow area and cultivate your own flowers.  Make it big enough to have a few people over.  You're going to need a community to get through the next few months, and that community is going to need a place to meet.

Make it pretty.  And if you need help with the construction side of things on the closet renovation, consider hiring a lesbian.

Just keep it a secret to avoid the wrath of Pence.

PART SIX:  Study French AND Russian (for slightly different reasons)

Bone up on your French.  

Not the language ... but the period of time when France was occupied by the Axis powers and how some individuals "knowingly engaged in collaboration" with them, whether driven by "nationalism, ethnic hatred ... anti-Semitism or opportunism" (quotes from the Wiki).  It is suggested that you educate yourself so that you can recognize this behavior in others.

After all, the cabinet and other key roles in a "nation under Trump" will be announced shortly, if you know what I mean.

ALSO ... bone up on your Russian.

When I was little (which was the 80's), there was a fear that a surging Japan was buying up too many classically American businesses and real estate, and that we were at risk of being colonized by them.  There's a lot of oligarchy funds and a budding relationship with Putin where the same thing might happen in the months ahead with what's left of the USSR, which would be an interesting coda to the Cold War finale.

Plus, let's face it ... that budding relationship is all but destined to be a nasty break up eventually (over Twitter no doubt), and so there's no telling how that incident will play out in our daily lives and which one of them will get custody of the kids (the rest of us Americans).  

A final note ... if they can read your emails (and we know that they are already doing that), it's only fair play for you to increase your language skills to the point where you can read theirs.  

PART SEVEN:  Study Nixon

Once upon a time, there was a President who said some pretty outrageous things ... 

who had a highly combative relationship with the press ... 

who kept a list of those who wronged him ... 

who used the office to enforce personal vendettas ... 

who served during a time of great division in our country between races and parties ... 

who was a narcissistic paranoid ... 

who was the only officeholder to quit.

To prepare for a "nation under Trump", I highly recommend taking some time to learn about Tricky Dick so that you can draw parallels to Tricky Trump at cocktail parties.  

Learn from the past to predict the future ...

PART EIGHT:  Start an office pool

That's part eight, as in the number of current Supremes.

Absent any shenanigans on Dec 19th (the day the electoral college votes, for those of you who slept through Civics ... or who went to school at a time when Civics wasn't taught), this Trump "Presidency" thing is going to happen

So you might as well make some money off of it.  (Note that this assumes you, the reader, isn't mega-wealthy ... as then you stand to make tons of money off of it as a matter of fact.)

My suggestion ... get an office pool going as to which one of the biggies will be overturned first -- and by overturned, I mean "chipped away at", seeing as how that's the way the judicial side of things works.  Will it be Roe?  Or Loving?  Or Obergefell?  Let your co-workers weigh in (and pay you to do so).

If you want to make it interesting, you could always add Citizens United to the list ... although everybody should know there's no chance of *that* going away any time soon now, so that would be a ringer question to ensure cash in your pocket (decidedly apropos, if you think about it).

PART NINE:  Get a gun

This one's simple and requires little explanation. 

Plus, if I use too many words with too many syllables, then I risk being called an elitist.

During the timeframe in which you are living in a "nation under Trump", you're going to need a gun.  Because they are going to have one when they come for you.

You're going to have to be able to "stand your ground" (that's a Florida term for being able to shoot black people with just a verbal warning), and you're going to have to be armed.

Note:  if you are experiencing mental issues, you may have to go to a gun show to get one.  If you are a known felon, then you already know where to score your piece.  If you are on the no-fly list, don't worry - you can go anywhere 'cause no one checks those names, as per certain politicians' wishes.  If you live with a toddler, you're screwed, 'cause toddlers are *deadly* with those things -- just go ahead and update your will now.

Faster than Pence is going to get Hamilton closed down and replaced with the revival of "Annie Get Your Gun" with Sarah Palin in the lead, you need to be 'packing heat' in 2017

PART TEN:  Get male

The truth is that the easiest way to prepare for a Trump "Presidency" is to get male, as quickly as possible.

Of course, I do realize that it's not exactly possible to go out and become the male gender with only eight weeks before inauguration.  

Although, come to think of it, trans is on trend currently -- but then there are issues with eliminating waste publicly and such that are much more involved for this little primer.  And, just to show you how hypocritical this all is, if you are female going to male, you'll probably still be okay (it's just the male to female that are the bathroom predators, according to certain "logic").

If we've learned nothing else from the transition team news to date, the country is about to be overrun by those with the XY chromosome combo.  Spoiler alert:  they are going to make Jack Lemmon and Walter Matthau circa the 'Grumpy Old Men' movie era look like goodwill ambassadors.  

Curmudgeons, not Charles, are about to be in charge (and actually Scott Baio IS going to be one of them maybe) ... and they're all gonna have penises.  So if you don't have one, get one now and improve your chances for smooth sailing over the next few years (or months, if my other prediction holds true that this will be a partial-term "Presidency").

PART ELEVEN:  Get a female cup

It's just a preventative measure.

But if we've learned nothing else, we've learned that what we all went through empowered and emboldened some of the folks that we *thought* were on the fringe but were really living and working and interacting with us every day.

As such, if you are female, there is an increased chance that someone will try and grab your genitalia to emulate our "President".

So get a female cup to protect yourself.

Note ... if you've been following along, then you've already processed part nine of this primer.  With that gun that you should have gotten by now, please know that you are more than welcome to use it to shoot the testicles off of anyone who does attempt such a maneuver.

'Cause, after all, it works with boy dogs to keep them in check and to reduce their aggressiveness -- so I'm sure it works with "dogs" of another kind.

PART TWELVE:  Get white

As soon as possible, please.  It's only for your own good.  Things haven't even started yet *officially* and all the transition team news is tripping the light fandango in order to be the *whitest* shade of pale.

And you might want to practice the makeup until you land on the shade of whiteface that Eddie Murphy used back in the day to more easily secure bank loans.  (You could also go for the shade that the younger Wayans Boys use in there movies, but that was more about getting laid, and doesn't quite have the same noble purpose.)

A special note to those of you of mixed race, where one ancestor was white.  For the next little bit of time, it is recommended that you gather up the pictures and cultural touchstones related to your non-white relatives and get rid of them.  I don't think you have to discard them completely (I do believe America will be great again after it sheds this throwback to a more hateful times), but I do think you might want to put them in that renovated closet you took care of in part five of this primer for safekeeping.

A special note to those of you whiteys who live in sunny areas ... careful not to tan yourself into ethnicity.  That's just asking for trouble.

Finally, if it's impossible for you to "get white" in time to help your situation, you may still have a path to acceptance IF you are willing to be a token.  If so, learn what you can from Dr. Ben Carson (focus on the head separating stuff and not the knife wielding history ... and ignore the part about those pyramids ... or how a doctor of medicine doesn't quite understand science).  Having that one non-white friend apparently goes a long way in easing the conscience.

Good luck to you!  (And good luck to us!)

EPILOGUE

It's happening.

So we must be ready.

Ready to stand up for that in which we believe, to ridicule when derision is warranted, to comment when the fear of the "other" tries to become normalized even further, to hold individuals accountable for their actions.

We need to be ready.

Ready to defend democracy, to oppose oligarchy, to prevent prejudice, to resist racism, to veto vitriol.

We need to be ready.

Ready to safeguard our sanctuaries.  To preserve our political system that has withstood bloviating blowhards and idiotic interlopers for well over two centuries.

We need to be ready.

Ready to pick up the pieces when the partial term presidency comes abruptly to a halt (that's still the endgame I'm expecting).

We can't just sit by and hope that the recently released Hinckley finds Jodie Foster attractive again.

We are in unpresidented times.

We MUST stay aware ... and awake ... and alert.

And we must NEVER forget to take care of our community ... to hang on to our humanity ... to rise above the baseness that has burst forth unto our land.

We WILL be ready.

We WILL survive this.

We WILL keep America great by relying greatly on its promise of life and liberty for each of us equally.

We WILL be able once again to pursue happiness.

We ARE the people and we ARE more powerful than the "president".

So long as we are ready ...

How to Prepare for a Trump "Presidency": A Twelve Part Primer (Epilogue)

It's happening.

So we must be ready.

Ready to stand up for that in which we believe, to ridicule when derision is warranted, to comment when the fear of the "other" tries to become normalized even further, to hold individuals accountable for their actions.

We need to be ready.

Ready to defend democracy, to oppose oligarchy, to prevent prejudice, to resist racism, to veto vitriol.

We need to be ready.

Ready to safeguard our sanctuaries.  To preserve our political system that has withstood bloviating blowhards and idiotic interlopers for well over two centuries.

We need to be ready.

Ready to pick up the pieces when the partial term presidency comes abruptly to a halt (that's still the endgame I'm expecting).

We can't just sit by and hope that the recently released Hinckley finds Jodie Foster attractive again.

We are in unpresidented times.

We MUST stay aware ... and awake ... and alert.

And we must NEVER forget to take care of our community ... to hang on to our humanity ... to rise above the baseness that has burst forth unto our land.

We WILL be ready.

We WILL survive this.

We WILL keep America great by relying greatly on its promise of life and liberty for each of us equally.

We WILL be able once again to pursue happiness.

We ARE the people and we ARE more powerful than the "president".

So long as we are ready ...

Random Memorial for Monday 12/19/16

Gone but not forgotten:  Prince Rogers Nelson.

With that announcement, and on the heels of the last two posts for Sharon Jones and Davey Jones/Bowie, this concludes the 2016 edition of my annual "dead celebrity tune trilogy".

Although this year, the trilogy has been doubly different -- it has been posted on Memorial Monday instead of on Tune Tuesday because Tune Tuesdays are changing in the new year so Memorial Mondays will be its new permanent home ... and, as "luck" would have it, all three dead celebrities have random Christmas songs with which they are affiliated.

Mind you -- I had absolutely NO idea that this one even existed until I started googling and youtubing, but this sad very Princey song popped up on my radar (it looks like it was once the Bside to "I Would Die 4 U" -- something only those of a certain age even understand any more).

He who is now with the person about whom this song was sung (who apparently died on Christmas of pneumonia [ummm ... Happy Holidays?!]), you will be missed.

DON'T KNOW WHY IT'S NOT INCLUDED ON MORE HOLIDAY COMPILATIONS:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nqd-jkQTyB8

Random Scandal Sheet for Sunday 12/18/16

What southern Florida is talking about this week:

... the finalists for whom should be chosen to represent Florida in the national statuary hall of the Capitol building now that General Kirby (he of the losing side of the Civil War) is being replaced to avoid slavery and other racist bad juju.

NOT among the finalists -- Tim Tebow.  (You young kids can google him ... he used to play football and is kind of known for insisting that God was watching *his* games every week.)  There's a whole list of other NOs, including the intangible of Jeb Bush's political career, Florida's own prolific in his craft Ted Bundy, Little Marco's Tiny [body part], the generic Florida Man and Statuey McStatueface (my favorite).  NOTE:  I am not trying to be clever.  Those were on the list.  Seriously.  It's Florida after all.  Some were taken off because the rules were that you had to be dead for ten years, and others because they weren't exactly offered up in good faith (although that Tebow fellow scored high in the public votes).

Instead, the top three, in reverse order from the number of votes they got, are an Everglades activist, the founder of Publix, and the woman featured in the image accompanying this post:  Mary McLeod Bethune.  If this leader in the civil rights movement who had a passion for education becomes the one the Florida government chooses "sometime" (the law requiring that the statue be replaced was conveniently passed without any deadline), she would be only the 10th woman out of 100 (each state has two statues) and she would be the FIRST African-American.

So yeah, maybe it's time?!

COULD SHE, COULD SHE?:
http://jacksonville.com/news/florida/2016-07-01/story/tia-mitchell-florida-track-become-first-state-depict-african-american

THE LIST OF NOs:
http://floridapolitics.com/archives/214382-ineligible-list-new-statue

YOU CAN SEARCH THE LIST FOR YOUR STATE'S CONTRIBUTIONS IN THE HALL:
https://www.aoc.gov/the-national-statuary-hall-collection

Random Soapbox for Saturday 12/17/16

I don't mean to go off on a rant here, but ...

... someone is trying to erase my past, one fire at a time.

After finding out that my childhood home (from years fifth to twelfth grade) at 523 E Cumberland St in Lebanon PA burned down completely a year or so ago (I took pictures of the empty lot when I was home in October) ... and *then* that the McD East where I had my first main job was likely totaled in a blaze just a few months ago ... now comes news that the house next to Big Bertha's at 343 Walnut St in town has been hit by a fire as well (thanks for sharing Kristi HB).

Clearly, everything is not about me ... and so my first thought is for the 11 people displaced by the event.  My second though, though, is that, having lived there from 1997-98 with DJ, Corey and Selman ... and then later with Darryl L .,, I'm not quite sure how they got 11 people in that building comfortably.

My third thought though FOR SURE is that I'm worried that 705 Greentree Village might be the next "target".  And my fourth thought is that if I weren't almost 1200 miles away, I'd start thinking that maybe I had some kind of dissociative disorder and I was "acting out" like those characters in the 80's soap operas did (when it was called multiple personality disorder).

Stay safe out there those of you affiliated with my past.  There's apparently firebug on the loose!

I ONCE LIVED HERE!:
http://fox43.com/2016/12/16/11-people-displaced-following-2-alarm-fire-in-lebanon-county/

AND I USED TO LIVE HERE!:
http://fox43.com/2015/03/13/15-displaced-and-4-injured-in-lebanon-row-home-fire/

IF 705 GREENTREE GOES UP IN FLAMES, I'M GOING TO GET SUPER WORRIED:
http://morgan-properties.com/morganlocations/PropertyDetail.asp?propertyName=greentreevillage

Random Flashback for Friday 12/16/16

Everybody's posting pretty pictures of snow and/or commenting on the latest polar vortex arrival over on the social media, and I'm sitting here in the FTL in the sunshine in the 80's.

So maybe it's fitting that tonight's picture from two decades ago is of this snowstorm.  Mind you, I wasn't there ... but I did get this photo in the holiday card from my mother in Montana that year.

You have to look closely to see the main reason for the shot, but if you do, you'll see a little boy (my nephew Nicholas) perched on the washline with his sled, a foot or two above what I'm guessing was pretty deep snow.

White stuff or not, may you experience the same kind of excitement about *this* holiday season that he had about this weather event back then in the winter of 1996!

Random Thought for Thursday 12/15/16

[My ongoing series for 2016 continues ... with the FORTY-NINTH of FIFTY tastes of FLORIDA (coming to you on sequential Thursdays.  All.  Year.  Long.)!]

Establishment:  The Spillover
Location:  Coconut Grove
Meal:  Dinner
Drink:  A Mead Flight
one each flavored with fig, coffee, chili and "blod"
Appetizer (see below):  BBQ Gator Ribs
two (or three) fall-off-the-bone gator ribs from Clewiston, Florida, slow roasted for 2 1⁄2 hours then finished on the grill with our soon to be famous honey BBQ sauce, served with brussel sprouts and asparagus
Main:  Bababooey Burger (yes, *that* bababooey, as you can see in the photo below)
ground in-house beef burger topped with brie, caramelized apples, cinnamon butter, grilled onions, crispy bacon and honey mustard, served on a challah bun
Side(s):  Fries
Dessert:  Mrs. McHugh’s Banana Créme Pie
homemade crème pie made with vanilla beans, a walnut and graham cracker crust, topped with bananas, whipped cream, caramel sauce and dusted with bittersweet chocolate
Server:  Tina (whom I believe was officially Christina, according to the receipt)

When I started this series at the beginning of this year, I set the expectations that most of the establishments would be in the tri-county area (defined as Palm Beach, Broward and Dade), but the reality has been that the overwhelming majority of places have been immediately in and around the FTL here in Broward.  Recently, I finally faced the unknowns of Miami (will I95 be drivable?  where will I park?  will the restaurant be too "hip" for this middle aged eater?) ... and I'm most certainly glad that I did.  Full disclosure:  for this meal, I was the guest of the sister of one of the owners, as the sister was a former college classmate of mine in town on vacation -- a factor which did NOT influence the high Troy-score, as you can see below:

AMBIANCE:   10/10 (options make the world go round ... and this establishment had multiple choices ... an outdoor patio type set up out in an open mall courtyard environment, tables in the front near the bar, and a few privacy tables further back the hallway [which is what our party chose to advance our main goal of conversating] ... the feature of our area was a large floor to ceiling reproduction on the wall that kept us guessing throughout the meal as to its origin [the answer to which was that it was a still from the first bilingual seventies TV show 'Que Pasa', quite fitting for the Miami area])
FOOD:            10/10 (where to begin ... seeing as how every bite [and every sip] was delicious ... from the variety of additives in the honey-sweetened mead drinks [as pictured] to the sauced up ribs of the alligator [which our party ordered as an appetizer and shared, because the chalkboard countdown told us that there were still some available, what with only 15 being prepared daily] to the juicy burger with a surprisingly sweet combination of ingredients that came together like a gourmet applesauce as a condiment to the fries with their surprise secret coating [I promised not to tell -- but it *wasn't* ranch dressing mix, like the other entry in this series with a surprising fry taste] to that bananarific dessert ... note that I got to taste my tablemates' dishes of crab cakes and jumbalaya, so they are also pictured)
SERVICE:      10/10 (extra bubbly, super cheerful, and well informed -- for what more could one ask? ... we apparently managed to order just about everything that was also her favorite ... at one point in the process, the cynic in me did wonder if she was just practicing good server protocol in endorsing whatever decisions the guest made, but the final verdict as discussed by our group was that she was being sincere and it was just a coincidence ... PLUS every single employee who passed by the table did so with a smile and, as appropriate, with a polite request to clear any items)
BACON:         8/10 (bacon, bacon, bacon, bacon ... that's one mention for each of the *four* times my favorite ingredient was listed on the menu -- including on my burger ... that being said, it wasn't necessarily presented in any exciting or inventive ways, so this category will be the only one without a perfect score)
BONUS:         10/10 (+3 for the way those meads made me happy, +3 for that dessert of Mrs. McHugh's [purportedly shared, but I don't think anyone else at our table really had more than one forkful], +3 for urinal cakes with Justin Bieber's face on them [not pictured in this blog ... although they were posted on the FB the night of the meal] and +1 for being a place to which we will return the next time we venture toward Miami -- and by that time, this growing empire might just include more establishments than the three currently in existence)

TroyScore:  48 out of 50 -- aka 96, a high A