Random Scandal Sheet for Sunday 8/7/11

What Chicago is talking about this week:

... the rash of sudden firings.

It's not a Crain's Business report I'm referencing (after all, that's just de riguer in today's business world), or a removal of Ozzie from the Sox leadership (although that does seem overdue -- and now I guess I'm just a hater) -- but it's the abrupt canning of Steve Williams and Jerry Lewis that has everyone abuzz.

Speaking of being a hater, I'll admit to feeling a little dirty about this, but is it wrong that I'm routing for Adam Scott to keep up the good work today just because he's employed Stevie on the bag now that Tiger's dumped him. (And, continuing in that hateful theme -- wasn't that the longest relationship that Tiger's ever had with anyone of any gender?)

And I can't bring myself to apply any level of snark to the MDA telethon situation. Maybe there's much more to be said, and I'll admit that it's selfish, but I'll miss the usual Labor Day tradition in its historical form with its historical host. Regardless -- it has to be about the kids, and anything that distracts from the fundraising mission just can't be tolerated, so I hope that "this too shall pass" prevails as a guiding factor for all involved.

LET's BE HONEST, NOTHING HE EVER DOES AGAIN WILL LOOK THE SAME:
http://www.chicagobusiness.com/section/blogs?blogID=golf&plckController=Blog&plckBlogPage=BlogViewPost&uid=1038cbce-64f9-45c9-b3ee-37c53aee6aa4&plckPostId=Blog%3A1038cbce-64f9-45c9-b3ee-37c53aee6aa4Post%3Ae69c30a2-e862-4352-bba7-f29cb1f89a28&plckScript=blogScript&plckElementId=blogDest

COULD IT SOON BE ANOTHER CASUALTY OF REALITY TELEVISION?:
http://insidetv.ew.com/2011/08/03/jerry-lewis-will-not-host-2011s-mda-telethon/

SAYS OZZIE: "I DON'T GIVE A [EXPLETIVE] IF I GET FIRED":
http://espn.go.com/chicago/mlb/story/_/id/6774021/ozzie-guillen-says-chicago-white-sox-fire-poor-first-half

Random Soapbox for Saturday 8/6/11

I don't mean to go off on a rant here, but ...

... is the bond rating mess just grade inflation at it's worst?

I mean I'm no economist and my personal relationship with money isn't going to impress any Suze Ormans out there, but when I heard that our country's triple AAA rating was being downgraded -- my concern turned into a chuckle-fit when I heard that our new classification was ... AA+.

Oh I'm sure there are consequences for this action and it's inspired another round of talking heads with their talking points in the blame game that has replaced leadership from any party on any side -- but AA+ doesn't sound that apocalyptic.

It just reminds me of how 93 used to be the cut-off for an A when I was in school, until the grading scale underwent some kind of metric conversion or dumbing down of the numbers to 10 point increments. Then suddenly, A's were more prevalent, and the kids who used to derive self-worth from A's had to strive for A+s or perfect scores or always do the extra credit that was offered just to separate themselves from the new 'A' kids on the block (not that I'm bitter or elitist or an out-of-touch overachiever or anything).

Of course, when a two trillion dollar error can have no effect on the organization's decision (really -- plus or minus 2,000,000,000,000 doesn't matter?), then I guess we're not necessarily dealing with all that much that makes sense to me anyway. If I have to conceptualize it to internalize it, then, in my mind, I'll just think of our current credit status as that of a well-performing Alcoholics Anonymous member -- except that if debt is our "sauce", we're never going to get ourselves a sober token.

Dare I say -- is this the death knoll for LBJ's Great Society? (I think I got a 'B' on the paper I wrote on that presidential policy launch way back when -- although, if I resubmit it, perhaps it can be bumped up to a higher category in today's world!)

THE SOVEREIGN CREDIT RATING PRIMER:
http://www.politonomist.com/sovereign-credit-ratings-revealed-002626/

THE OLD GRADING SYSTEM STILL EXISTS IN SOME POCKETS:
http://www.nola.com/news/index.ssf/2008/04/jefferson_to_consider_lowering.html

WHY 1964 WAS CALLED "ONE OF THE TOP 10 ELECTIONS" BY TIME:
http://www.time.com/time/specials/packages/article/0,28804,1856551_1856544_1856536,00.html

Random Flashback for Friday 8/5/11

It was a birthday party 20 years ago this week!

And how do you balance a plate full of healthy crudité? With not one -- but TWO birthday cakes!

It's not polite to tell someone's age, so I'll have to leave the math part of this up to you (hint -- we can pretend that's a #10 on that cake, if that's more socially acceptable).

All jokes aside, Judy Woodward became my surrogate mother (I ran away from home before I was 18, so her generosity of spirit and guidance played a key role in my early development, irrespective of the legal role she played in that (ad)venture), and I will always be grateful for the love that she bestowed on me -- in that difficult time and in the many so-much-more- pleasant years that followed.

[I've been blessed to have had the privilege to extend the reaches of those I consider family many-fold in my life so far.]

Happy Belated Birthday, Mom (Woodward)!

Random Thought for Thursday 8/4/11

The conversation, after I deciphered the thick accent on the other end of the line, went like this:

HER: We found a skin tear on one of his toes.
ME: What?
HER: We found a skin tear on one of his toes.
ME: This is a strange phone call.
HER: Ralph.
ME: This is Troy.
HER: On Ralph's toe. We found a skin tear.
ME: Okay.
HER: Good night.
ME: Wait ... that's it? That's the only reason you called?
HER: We have to inform you.
ME: Okay. So is he bleeding out?
HER: No, we took care of it.
ME: Well then, kiss it and make it all better.
HER: (Laugh.) Okay.

The context -- the nursing home where my biological father now resides is apparently obligated to inform me every time they find something that others might interpret as abuse. I imagine they are covering themselves legally -- but this seems like a really minor update to provide me, halfway across the country, by a random out of the blue phone call with little context provided.

I guess I just have to hope that the next phone call isn't the one that tells me they are cutting it off!

HIS PLACE IS WONDERFUL, BUT BE WARNED:
http://www.nursinghomealert.com/recognitionofabuse/otherwarningsigns.html

FILIPINOS HAVE SUED FOR DISCRIMINATION BASED ON THICK ACCENTS:
http://www.abs-cbnnews.com/global-filipino/03/02/11/filipino-nurse-says-hospital-bribed-him-stay-quiet

SO NOW THAT I'VE SEEN PICTURES, MAYBE IT'S WORSE THAN I THOUGHT!:
http://www.woundcarespray.com/25/elderly-skin-tear/

Random Wordplay for Wednesday 8/3/11

Horsie-corn.

Used in a sentence: "I'm just beyond the equi-distant point from season finale to season premier as it relates to some of my favorite prime time network comedies, and I could use a 22 minute laugh-out-loud break about now, so I am missing them so ... but at least I have the memory of the genius of 30 Rock that gave us the Horsie-Corn this past season (it's a unicorn with the head of a horse)!"

I just have to be a little more patient, and soon I'll have my must see TV (TH nights on NBC), and my multiple Chuck Lorre laugh fests spread out across the CBS schedule (even if one will kick off with a main character's funeral), and my "daresn't eat while you watch for fear of choking while guffawing" WED night ABC block and the hilarity of Greg Garcia's latest -- Raising Hope on FOX.

[If only I could get a job watching TV -- after all, I'm unbiased in the way I spread around my love ...]

THANKS TO TWITTER, CAPTURED IN TIME (& NOW AT THE LIBRARY OF CONGRESS:
http://twitter.com/#!/ThorayaER/status/52126343860723712

WARNING -- ADULT HUMOR AHEAD (NOT SAFE FOR WORK):
http://www.cracked.com/funny-1209-unicorn/

BUT IT MAY BE DEAD OVERSEAS, IF FB IS TO BE BELIEVED:
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Sitcom-is-Not-Dead-We-want-more/148071155240632

Random Tune for Tuesday 8/2/11

Bob, you asked for it (I think authentically, and not facetiously) in a comment last week ... so here it is (even if these are more likely to be on an 8 track than on one of my old cassettes) ... three times the random tuneage from Mr. Michael Anthony Orlando Cassivitis (with Urkel's aunt in the background, of course). I still see me a little Tony O on the Jerry Lewis telethon each year (and I hope I will this Labor Day, assuming that he's not trimmed out of the radically reduced six hour event) -- but this fan's animation on two of the three takes this to a whole 'nother level and makes these videos extra special.

TWICE ON THE PIPE (CLAP, CLAP) IF THE ANSWER IS NO:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=emvVDC1-bwI

I THOUGHT HE WAS COMING BACK FROM THE MILITARY, NOT OUT OF PRISON?:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7TSq-XvpVaE&feature=watch_response

SADLY, NO ANIMATION FOR THIS ONE ... :
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WROdwlk9_h8

Random Memorial for Monday 8/1/11

Gone but not forgotten: the space shuttle flights.

I recognize I'm a week or two late, but I have to admit that I will miss hearing about our regular space flights (especially considering that our current financial morass means we won't be headed back to the moon or anywhere else any time soon). The loss of Challenger was a defining moment (and, until 9/11, what I thought would be my generation's answer to knowing exactly where you were when JFK was shot) in 9th grade for me (and Columbia's disintegration was a bit more low key but just as painful) ... and I've spoken before of how so many of my life's scientific advances were connected back to the cutting edge space shuttle technology (excluding 'o'rings and insulation chunks, of course).

I even recently uncovered my IEP for 7th grade, when I actually submitted a stamp design to the post office honoring the anniversary of the first flight (it was rejected, and a strikingly similar design was released years later -- I'm just sayin').

Even more so now that Chicago won't get a retired one for our museum campus, space shuttle -- you will be missed.

FL, VA, NY and CA -- NONE NEAR ME!:
http://www.cnn.com/2011/US/04/12/space.shuttle.new.homes/index.html

IF I COULD FIGURE OUT MY SCANNER, I'D PROVE THE SIMILARITY:
http://www.collectiblestampsgallery.com/proddetail.asp?prod=SP24

NOW COMPETING FOR 'WHERE WERE YOU ON 9/11" IMPORTANCE:
http://abcnews.go.com/WNT/video/space-shuttle-challenger-disaster-tragedy-nasa-explosion-aniversary-ship-rocket-12790478