Random Scandal Sheet for Sunday 1/13/13

What Chicago is talking about this week:

The poor guy in this picture (named Urooj).  Correction -- the rich guy in the picture.  Correction to the correction -- since the guy in this picture is dead and is now having his body exhumed as an anonymous tip was provided that he was cyanide-poisoned, characterizing him as poor or rich seems irrelevant.

Correction to the correction to the correction (I promise I'll stop after making this last point) -- the status of "poor" or "rich" is actually extremely relevant, as he scratched off a million dollar winning lottery ticket and then died the day after claiming his winnings.  Now, in addition to the survivors fighting over the estate, all kinds of skeletons are jumping out of closets in such a way as to set this up for a 2 hour "news" special a la Dateline or 48 hours or their ilk, assuming that truth will one day be known.

Despite the risk, I'm pleased to announce that I've started my 2013 FB birthday project.  [Those of you who have known me for awhile know that I strive to do something original each year within that social network -- in 2011, it was searching the youtube for random birthday videos that mentioned the birthday person's name and in 2012, it was donating $1 per publicly listed birthday to a charity of the month.]  This year, I'm purchasing a one dollar scratch off ticket per person and scratching it off to check for winnings.  And by the way -- there are some caveats if there are winnings.

First, I'm claiming a 50% finders' fee (after all, I am doing the hard work of the scratching).
Second, those with winnings must "claim" them via FB message by 1.31.14.
Third, I'm donating any unclaimed funds to a charity of my choice on 2.1.14.
Fourth, if my finders' fee ever totals an amount of substance, the first thing I'll buy with my winnings is an old-fashioned taster, being determined to learn Urooj's lesson.

IT'S EVEN IN THE NEWS OVERSEES:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2259709/Urooj-Khan-death-Brother-wife-murdered-lottery-winner-squabbled-winnings-dead-cyanide-poisoning.html

THE BODY IS ON ITS WAY UP:
http://articles.chicagotribune.com/2013-01-11/news/chi-judge-oks-exhumation-of-lottery-winner-20130111_1_exhumation-zaman-police-investigation

THE LIST OF RULES (AND WINNERS):
http://capcognition.blogspot.com/2013/01/2013-birthday-celebration.html

2013 Birthday Celebration

Again, Happy Birthday!  And congratulations on being a winner!

So here are the rules ... 

I'm taking a 50% finders' fee (after all, I did do the hard work of scratching off the ticket in your name).

Just private message me on FB with your mailing address and I'll send you your 50%.

Funds must be claimed by 1.31.14, as I'll be donating any unclaimed funds to a charity of my choice on 2.1.14.

And here are the winners so far ...

1.9.13    $1.00/$.50    for Sonia G (DONATED)
1.26.13  $4.00/$2.00 for Chris B (NOTIFIED)
1.31.13  $5.00/$2.50 for Rolee K (NOTIFIED)
2.2.13    $1.00/$.50 for Butch D (DONATED)
2.2.13    $1.00/$.50 for Maria P (DONATED)
2.6.13    $1.00/$.50 for Sharlene C (DONATED)
2.10.13  $1.00/$.50 for Scott R (NOTIFIED)
2.15.13  $2.00/$1.00 for Kevin B (NOTIFIED)
2.16.13  $2.00/$1.00 for Irma M (NOTIFIED)
2.17.13  $2.00/$1.00 for Heather SW (DONATED)

2.19.13 $1.00/$.50 for Joe S (NOTIFED)
2.21.13 $2.00/$1.00 for Josh B (NOTIFIED)
2.23.13 $2.00/$1.00 for Sean H (NOTIFED)
2.23.13 $4.00/$2.00 for Bruce K (NOTIFED)
2.26.13 $1.00/$.50 for Cat J (NOTIFIED)
3.1.13   $5.00/$2.50 for Cornell W (NOTIFIED)
3.3.13  $2.00/$1.00 for Lissa S (DONATED)
3.23.13 $1.00/$.50 for John S (DONATED)
3.23.13 $1.00/$.50 for Sally P (DONATED)
3.27.13 $2.00/$1.00 for Dan B (NOTIFIED)

3.30.13 $1.00/$.50 for Erin M (NOTIFIED)
4.6.13   $10.00/$5.00 for Tricia H (REINVESTED/LOSING TICKET)
4.11.13 $1.00/$.50 for Cherlyn A (NOTIFIED)
4.11.13 $1.00/$.50 for Sheri F (NOTIFIED)
4.20.13 $2.00/$1.00 for Simona P (NOTIFIED)
4.23.13 $2.00/$1.00 for Wayne K (DONATED)
4.28.13 $1.00/$.50 for Amber R (NOTIFIED)
4.29.13 $10.00/$5.00 for Rachel GP (NOTIFIED)
5.1.13  $4.00/$2.00 for Jill M (NOTIFIED)
5.15.13 $2.00/$1.00 for Samuel G (DONATED)

5.23.13  $2.00/$1.00 for Tracey F (NOTIFIED)
5.26.13  $2.00/$1.00 for Jennifer D (NOTIFIED)
5.26.13  $1.00/$.50 for Melanie W (NOTIFIED)
5.28.13  $1.00/$.50 for Tim W (NOTIFIED)
6.1.13    $6.00/$3.00 for Natalie M (REINVESTED/LOSING TICKET)
6.4.13    $1.00/$.50 for Igor M (DONATED)
6.4.13    $2.00/$1.00 for Beth A (DONATED)
6.5.13    $1.00/$.50 for Michelle L (NOTIFIED)
6.14.13  $10.00/$5.00 for Tracey HT (DONATED)
6.15.13  $1.00/$.50 for Lisa DG (NOTIFIED)

6.19.13  $2.00/$1.00 for Carol Lynn F (NOTIFIED)
6.30.13  $2.00/$1.00 for Greg S (NOTIFIED)
7.2.13    $1.00/$.50 for Byron B (DONATED)
7.6.13    $1.00/$.50 for Zach B (NOTIFIED)
7.11.13  $1.00/$.50 for Mary Ann S (NOTIFIED)
7.15.13  $4.00/$2.00 for Bradley H (NOTIFIED)
7.15.13  $2.00/$1.00 for Brandon J (NOTIFIED)
7.16.13  $2.00/$1.00 for Gina A (CLAIMED)
7.25.13  $2.00/$1.00 for John H (NOTIFIED)
8.1.13    $2.00/$1.00 for Judy W (DONATED)

8.1.13    $20.00/$10.00 for Brian W (DONATED)
8.8.13    $1.00/$.50 for Carrie W (NOTIFIED)
8.12.13  $2.00/$1.00 for Dennis H (DONATED)
8.15.13  $1.00/$.50 for Rob P (NOTIFIED)
8.17.13  $2.00/$1.00 for John C (NOTIFIED)
8.18.13  $4.00/$2.00 for Teresa H (DONATED)
8.21.13  $2.00/$1.00 for John E (NOTIFIED)
8.22.13  $2.00/$1.00 for Thomas W (NOTIFIED)
8.22.13  $1.00/$.50 for Kim R (DONATED)
9.5.13    $1.00/$.50 for Alexandra J (DONATED)

9.7.13    $1.00/$.50 for Andrew M (NOTIFIED)
9.11.13  $4.00/$2.00 for Debbie D (NOTIFIED)
9.12.13  $2.00/$1.00 for Darryn D (DONATED)
9.13.13  $2.00/$1.00 for Michelle E (NOTIFIED)
914.13   $2.00/$1.00 for Sarah C (NOTIFIED)
9.22.13  $2.00/$1.00 for Todd S (NOTIFIED)
9.26.13  $4.00/$2.00 for Leslie M (NOTIFIED)
9.26.13  $2.00/$1.00 for Lois K (NOTIFIED)
9.27.13  $1.00/$.50 for Kimberly E (NOTIFIED)
10.6.13  $1.00/$.50 for Cathy CK (NOTIFIED)

10.9.13   $2.00/$1.00 for Tracy Lynn WH (NOTIFIED)
10.16.13 $1.00/$.50 for Matt G (NOTIFIED)
10.16.13 $5.00/$2.50 for Dawn S (NOTIFIED)
10.23.13 $4.00/$2.00 for Malwina K (DONATED)
10.24.13 $10.00/$5.00 for Shannon F (NOTIFIED)
11.1.13   $1.00/$.50 for Shomari B (NOTIFIED)
11.3.13   $2.00/$1.00 for Todd C (DONATED)
11.3.13   $1.00/$.50 for Kevin P (NOTIFIED)
11.12.13 $4.00/$2.00 for Mita G (DONATED)
11.13.13 $10.00/$5.00 for Phylis CD (DONATED)

11.16.13 $2.00/$1.00 for John H (DONATED)
11.16.13 $1.00/$.50 for Chris A (NOTIFIED)
11.17.13 $2.00/$1.00 for MelissaAnn P (NOTIFIED)
11.20.13 $2.00/$1.00 for Jill W (DONATED)
11.23.13 $2.00/$1.00 for Mike K (NOTIFIED)
11.24.13 $25.00/$12.50 for Jim I (NOTIFIED) [*Biggest winner to date!]
11.26.13 $5.00/$2.50 for Will G (NOTIFIED)
11.30.13 $5.00/$2.50 for Jon M (REINVESTED/LOSING TICKET)
12.1.13   $2.00/$1.00 for Don D (DONATED)
12.2.13   $2.00/$1.00 for Heath L (NOTIFIED)

12.3.13   $10.00/$5.00 for Nicole K (NOTIFIED)
12.7.13   $1.00/$.50 for Jon W (NOTIFIED)
12.7.13   $1.00/$.50 for Andrew P (DONATED)
12.7.13   $1.00/$.50 for Dianne L (DONATED)
12.9.13   $2.00/$1.00 for Alex N (NOTIFIED)
12.11.13 $2.00/$1.00 for Ann RH (NOTIFIED)
12.15.13 $1.00/$.50 for Chad RM (NOTIFIED)
12.18.13 $2.00/$1.00 for Jeff P (NOTIFIED)
12.27.13 $2.00/$1.00 for Danielle K (DONATED)
12.28.13 $2.00/$1.00 for Bonnie B (NOTIFIED)

12.28.13 $1.00/$.50 for Holly M (NOTIFIED)
12.30.13 $2.00/$1.00 for Kathy KL (NOTIFIED)

Random Soapbox for Saturday 1/12/13

I don't mean to go off on a rant here, but ...

... it's time for me to dust off my "boycott" list and add a vendor to it.

Let me back up a bit.  Since my father passed earlier this month, I'm getting new perspective on a few things.  For instance, there's a new nagging voice in the back of my head that keeps on suggesting I improve my health. I guess, generationally, once your papa passes, you kind of move up in the queue.  And, in another area where I'm seeing clarity, it's time for me to fully embrace my curmudgeonly side -- you know, to carry on the family name when it comes to being an "angry old man".

By the way, my boycotts are micro and very local in scale.  So far there's that Subway near Clark and Belmont that impolitely rushed my selection of cheese for my sandwich a few years back (oh yeah, I neither forgive nor forget some grievances) ... and the 7-11 next to Wrigley whose security guard with the gangland tattoos was a little too aggressive the day I parked there and made a purchase and walked too slowly to the car to leave (someone else in my party was at the Starbucks next door, and we were leaving together, despite the guard's overtures that I must leave immediately).  I've even been known to boycott actual people who were in my life -- but only after first checking to make sure that they are truly as soulless as I came to learn they were (that's soulless as in "without a soul" not soleless as in "needing shoes", as everyone in this climate needs shoes!).

So ... added to the list ... the WellsFargo branch in Evanston, where I went earlier this week to wrap up the affairs of my father and to close his account.  At least -- that was my intention.  Instead, I ended up raising my voice to the bank employee named Bukake (and a rant within a rant here -- expecting parents everywhere, can you please make a commitment to using the google search prior to choosing to name your child something exotic sounding and unique on the off chance that the word already has a meaning that might be unbeknownst to you [warning -- if you are unfamiliar, google at your own risk]), as she and I disagreed on what action I could take that day without a death certificate (copies of which are on their way to Chicago, but I wanted to get a head start on paperwork while I still had off work).

I get it that I may have been in the wrong by not bringing everything I needed to the bank with me, and I probably should not have yelled about the bank standing on form (which they SHOULD have done when they were busy playing a role in hastening the onset of the Great Recession, in my opinion) instead of finding a way to work with me to reach a service resolution (after all, I opened it with him in absentia).  And the outburst I exclaimed in my best actorly projected voice about the shame that everyone in the building should feel about how they were all so desperately hanging on to my dead father's last eight cents may have been a little over the top and slightly dramatic (hey -- this process is stressful, and Wells Fargo employee named Bukake, you didn't really show any sensitivity to my situation ...).

Ultimately, here's the reason you're going on my boycott list ... you handled this situation from a place of "no", and, quite simply, that's not the right way to go about dealing with someone as mildly unsettled as I am. Wells Fargo Evanston -- you are on my list!

I AM NOT ALONE IN MY DISSATISFACTION:
http://www.my3cents.com/showReview.cgi?id=82063

NO REALLY -- I AM NOT ALONE:
http://www.ripoffreport.com/wells-fargo-bank/banks/portland-oregon-7ab71.htm

UMMM ... THIS IS ITS OWN COTTAGE INDUSTRY!:
http://wellsfargowarning.com/

Random Flashback for Friday 1/11/13

Let's just call this ... the morning after.

Last week, I kicked off the year 1993 (Fridays for me are always Fridays of twenty years ago), with a pic of the party the night before on New Year's Eve at my apartment in Uniontown PA.

And, thanks to my OCD like anal retentiveness when it comes to the hoarding of information, I located my "notes" from this celebration:

1993 -- Kevin's Bar in Republic PA with Gina T, Terry S, Steve K, Tammy C and Kevin's mother.

"visited a speakeasy in the 'patch'; played pool and won on the one arm bandit; spent evening with Gina; champagne bottle passed around at midnight; soap opera of Terry on balcony crying; Italian mafia family that ran bar very loving; took beer and party to apartment; spent evening on the couch and the morning at Elby's for bacon and OJ"

So clearly my love for bacon started early ... and ... oh to be young again ...

Random Thought for Thursday 1/10/13

Science was never my strong suit, but I do think I have a basic understanding of the way that evolution helps a species adapt.

Upon learning that HoneyBooBoo's sister's newborn had an extra thumb, my first thought was that biology is catching up with Generation Text and that she represents the cutting edge of the evolutionary process, with the biological body adapting to our modern "needs".

It happened to moles (see story below), so it could happen to us, right?  Just imagine how fast the next generation of kids will be able to text!  Science is at work all around us!!

IT'S THAT GENERATION ...:
http://jobs.aol.com/articles/2012/04/25/get-ready-for-generation-z-theyre-texting-tweeting-and-not-tu/

... AS REPRESENTED BY THIS BIRTH ...:
http://www.yourtv.com.au/blog.aspx?blogentryid=1050140&showcomments=true

... AND IT'S HAPPENED FOR OTHER SPECIES ALREADY!:
http://www.livescience.com/15090-twelve-fingered-mole-wrist-bone.html

Random Wordplay for Wednesday 1/9/13

I can do many things, but I cannot plumb!

Used in a sentence:  "The notion that I am calm, cool and collected in a crisis went out the window today (or ... maybe better yet ... down the drain ...eventually), when I awoke to a clogged toilet, and, with all of the stress of the past week bubbling up inside me, I exclaimed 'I can do many things, but I cannot plumb!'"

[That is what plumbers do, right ... plumb?]

After a mini meltdown and a few deep breaths, I came to realize that, as with so many things in life, it's all about having the right tool for the right job.  A quick run to the local hardware store, and I am now the owner of a "korky" plunger (pictured on the left), which works so much better than that ineffectual plunger-wannabe that I had tried to use to no avail (looking all sad there on the right).

So ... a happy ending for me and mine ... an oddly effectual stress release just for me ... and the best part -- now I can update my resume to reflect that I can plumb after all.

I CONCUR ... A MORE POWERFUL PLUNGE:
http://www.korky.com/Plunger93-8.html

OTHER WAYS TO ASPIRE TOWARD CALM COOL AND COLLECTED:
http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/how-to-be-calm-cool-and-collected-in-3-easy-steps

OTHERS EXPERIENCE THE PLUNGER AS A METAPHOR FOR LIFE:
http://www.noomii.com/articles/1930-hope-found-in-a-wooden-handled-plunger

Random Tune for Tuesday 1/8/13

I've been doing this for awhile.

How do I know?  ... Because it's time to start my FOURTH annual "dead celebrity tune trilogy".  Since the end of 09, I've dedicated three Tuesday posts in a row to those who passed in the year before (with the definition of celebrity stretched via artistic license as needed).

So for the first in the 2012 trilogy, there's this compilation of sad cartoon images that I found on the old youtube in honor of Disney songwriter Robert B Sherman (who brought us many classic songs -- including some from ChittyChittyBangBang, Mary Poppins, Bedknobs and Broomsticks, etc.).  Robert passed in March 2012, and, at that time, it was mentioned in most places that he also brought us "It's a Small World After All".

I dare not link to that song -- and not because I fear the Disney copyright police.  It's just that I had the misfortune of getting stuck on that ride when I visited my good friend Holly in Orlando in November 1996, and although I don't begrudge Mr. Sherman the genius of the song, repeated play of a repetitive tune in the company of animatronic figures from whom you can't escape created a different uniquely uncomfortable feeling of a memory that I wish not to recall (any more than I just did to type it out for this post).  Coincidentally enough, that memory of visiting Florida is somewhat ironic for today, as I just had to pull the trigger and completely cancel the week's vacation I was to have started tomorrow (hey -- we survived the apocalypse, so Florida will still be there next month when the timing is better [fingers-crossed]).

Which brings me back to this song, as I've been in a more reflective somber mood since my father's passing this past weekend, making images of cartoon characters crying decidedly appropo ...

RIP ROBERT B SHERMAN (1925-2012):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JK7FkWgBGTI