... I've been carrying this burden for quite some time and I feel like it is finally the moment to get this off of my chest.
To those of my friends and family who choose to sleep in the same bed as their ladies during the timeframe when those females are having their period, I want you to know that after much prayer and consideration, I have finally reached the conclusion that I can look past your abomination in God's eyes and that I have learned to hate the sin yet love the sinner. (Leviticus 15:24)
Of course, that's my own resolution to this issue -- a resolution for which I have fought long and hard, wrestling with trying to understand a person's motives, and debating in my mind if people are born to think it normal to lie in a bed with a menstruating women, or if a lax and Godless society has driven men to risk that degree of uncleanliness for a good night's sleep next to a loved one, or if it is Satan's work and the draw of the Devil's menses that causes men to make those choices. And although it gives me, and those who believe as I do, some way to function in a world where this MSBMW community (Men Sleeping in the same Bed as Menstruating Women) clearly has its own agenda to redefine normalcy with regards to the expectations for couples sleeping through the night together, I also am obligated to inform you that you are going to hell. (Leviticus 18:29)
Which saddens me ... but hey, "hate the sin and love the sinner".
To any of those in this MSBMW community who wish to change your ways, know that there are programs so that you can choose to live a different life. There are therapists who will work with you and your wife or girlfriend so that you can learn proper sleeping habits (i.e. banishing your lady to an appropriate spot in your abode far away from you at the earliest sign of the female evil "egg drop soup"). For extreme cases, there is aversion therapy -- where the male is covered in faux menstrual liquids to break him of the habit of wanting to be near his loved one at night -- all the days of the month. And products can be purchased such as a shock mattress cover that is synced to your lady's cycle, and that provides a specific and timely set of warnings in the manner of negative reinforcement with some small electric charges if it is triggered by the weight of both you and your lady in that most inappropriate time frame.
Which all sounds a little extreme ... but hey, "hate the sin and love the sinner".
Finally, to those of you reading this who know full well that you belong to the MSBMW community but you haven't yet confessed it to anyone, I offer you a word of caution and implore you to keep it a secret. You may feel like recent societal changes, including a movement where MSBMWs now proudly marry despite having engaged in that horrific behavior pre-maritally, would provide you with the opportunity to flaunt your monthly sleight to established morality, but you should know that it is perfectly legal for your boss or your landlord to fire or evict you should your sleeping habits within your coupledom come to light.
Which I know sounds a little shocking, but hey, not everyone is as evolved as to "hate the sin and love the sinner".
*Today's rant has been sponsored by the Eastboro Church of the Levites. You may not have heard of us yet, but you will see us soon enough protesting in the tampon aisles of your local drugstores, department stores and pharmacies. We also may start protesting at children's hospitals as we suspect that God makes kids get sick because men make these cavalier choices without consideration for the evil that flows forth from women on a cyclical basis. Our work has just begun. But first we have to decide on exactly which selective scripture we're mostly going to focus. In anticipation of that, please join me in furthering the ECL's cause.
ECL'S WEBSITE IS BEING BUILT, SO THERE ARE CURRENTLY NO LINKS TO SHARE
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