... I-S-I-whatever-the-consonant, be not proud.
Meaning, I have to say I was somewhat shocked that the terrorist organization claimed "credit" for the Garland TX chain of events, seeing as how it was such a failure (from that perspective) that I would think *no one* would want to celebrate the fact that two idiots got out of a car and were shot dead in minutes, having barely grazed the ankle of a well armed good shootin' traffic cop. Surely the bad guys have better planning skills than to try a shoot-out -- in Texas. Texas of all places, where I'm sure that the youngest residents get baby's-first-gun shortly after graduating from their pacifier-stage.
What I'd really rather they clarify is whether these two dolts still get in on the virgin action, despite being martyrs-out-of-stupidity. I don't know for sure but I'm guessing Allah probably has a separate stash of virgins for this type of crusader ... virgins by "circumstance", let's say. (That's the polite way to say it, right? Not the PYTs with the promise rings who get by doing the dirtiest things on the down low ... but just not that *one* thing. I mean the older never-been-touched group. [And if any reader feels an affinity to that group, I want to insist that I mean no harm by it and will not stop *you* from laying claim to being a virgin-by-choice instead.])
By the way ... can I just pause and say how much I'd rather have the view of the religion in which I was raised -- everlasting life with crown jewels -- even IF it is somewhat on the capitalistic greedy end of the incentive continuum -- than the somewhat sexually perverse hymen-popping paradise that is promised for those who die for he-who-shant-be-cartooned.. They do realize, I hope, that it's not a bottomless bowl of cherries like some Islamic Garden of Olive, and that the hymens aren't going to grow back like they did for vampire Jessica on True Blood. So if their paradise is forever, I just have to suspect that there's a lot of grief that comes after those 72 membrane-destructions. All things considered, that activity is but a fraction of eternity, and those 72 flowers (or de-flowers, more accurately stated) are going to need constant attention. Needy, nagging attention. Instead, give me gold and rubies and shiny things in *my* afterlife ALL DAY SON as a reward for my good deeds, yo!
I digress ... and I have to be careful because the last thing I want is a fatwa. I'm in no rush to be Rushdied. And I have to tell you, those insecure leaders are awfully quick with handing them out ... they're the seedy lawyers of the religion world, ready to fatwa at the mention of a Mo, as if they learned at the school of the Oprah ... you get a fatwa ... YOU get a fatwa ... everybody gets a FATWAAAA!
Of course, I'd be remiss to say that I didn't agree with those who put some blame on the cartoonist convention that was clearly asking for trouble. I know it's free speech and all, but if you can't yell "fire" in a crowded theatre, surely in today's day and age, we're somewhat close to agreeing that you can't yell "cartoon-Mo" in a crowded mosque either. Or in a tolerant society. I-S-I-whatever-the-consonant-bait much?
Last thing ... despite how it may sound, I do NOT mean to make light of our modern world's struggle with the terrorism. I was in my late 20's on 9.11.01 (about as late as you can get, seeing as how I was turning the big 3-0 just four months later ... but the age still started with a 2), and it did have an effect me as a young adult. I grew up with five year plans, and I stopped planning for the future after that day. I decided that living apocalypse-adjacent meant that, more than anything, day to day survival was key, and so it was perfectly acceptable to trade the future for the present, because the present was all that was guaranteed. (When I'm sleeping on park benches in my seventies and telling this story to anyone who will listen at the soup kitchen, I'll pause at this point in the story to reflect on its poignancy.)
I get it. Terrorism is a part of our life. The crusade struggle is real. It's not going away. It will continue to strike at random.
So I guess I'm saying ... may we all be as ready as the Garland traffic cop ... stay frosty, folks, stay frosty.
YOU'RE GOING TO TAKE CREDIT INSTEAD OF BEING EMBARRASSED? REALLY??:
http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2015/05/05/isil-texas-attack/26910117/
SO LET'S TALK ABOUT THIS HYMEN-POPPING PARADISE:
http://wikiislam.net/wiki/72_Virgins
LIVIN' APOCALYPSE-ADJACENT:
http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/911-the-psychological-aft/
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