I get it. Live on the second floor of an old old building with nine units in it (three on each of three floors), and you have to expect that you're going to have to deal with the sounds of those who also live above and below you. What with this being a popular 'hood for the young professional group, this building has seen a bit of turnover throughout the years, which means you're always getting used to new sounds.
Just when I got used to the previous upstairs tenant's work schedule (she woke up regularly each morning between 6 and 6:30 and traipsed down her hallway to her bathroom [and I'm being generous with the use of the verb traipse, as galumphed down the hallway seemed to better describe her actions on most mornings]), she went and got herself a gentleman caller (and yes, he did more than "call", as you can imagine I also got to hear) and she moved out shortly after they hooked up (which in itself was a decidedly short activity, poor thing).
In move new neighbors, one with a paramour with whom she may have broken up in the hallway this past weekend, as evidenced by the male voice announcing he was leaving in a tone that seemed to imply for more than just the night and in the accompanying wailing and gnashing of teeth that everyone could hear on the upstairs back porch later on in the evening. But worse than all of that is the beagle she/they have who gets lonely when no one is in the upstairs apartment.
Honest to Betsy (and, come to think of it, every Betsy I've known is worthy of that phrase -- but it does make me wonder who the original Betsy was to whom honesty was proclaimed), the first day after they moved in and went away and left him behind, I thought that one of those coyotes from the 'burbs had gotten trapped in my 'hood and was in need of rescue. The howling went on all ... day ... long. I've taken matters into my own hands (working from home as I do, I'm keenly aware of his separation issues and how he voices them), and I now go upstairs and slip Peanuts cartoons under the door in hopes that he'll read them and get inspired by Snoopy and pass his time more in his imagination and less in his vocal range.
Early morning waker with a leaden foot who had boring relations (I'm not being creepy ... just reporting the facts as I heard them) ... in light of the latest lonesome wails with which I must deal ... you and your sounds (sexual or otherwise) are sorely missed.
PERHAPS I SHOULD SUGGEST THIS ITEM INSTEAD OF PLYING HIM WITH PEANUTS?:
http://www.thundershirt.com/
OR I COULD TEACH HIM THESE NOISES:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VD2UyHq06kE
BUT I DON'T WANT TO GO THE PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE ROUTE:
http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2012/03/11/thundering-cows/
No comments:
Post a Comment