Dear ancestors:
Thank you (mostly) for my genetics.
Now that I've barely turned 40, my health is more susceptible to the odd random ache or pain or the sudden decrease in metabolism and accompanying increase in weight.
But thanks to you, I appear to be gaining my weight mostly in my beer belly area. Which has actually provided me a new appreciation for those who are pregnant and take advantage of a belly shelf (it's trapped a toothpick or two of mine from hitting the ground after falling out of my mouth). Oh -- and it's allowed me to pretty much keep my current wardrobe, because I can just cinch my same jeans just a little lower and buy bigger wife beaters.
Of course, after my doctor's visit yesterday, I am now on notice that things might have to change. Said newly practicing doctor upon manipulating my midsection -- "Has anyone told you that you liver's edge is too palpable." To which I replied -- "I'm too old to go to those kinds of parties.". He didn't laugh and suggested blood tests to see if it was my new weight, my occasional binge-drinking or something more serious at play.
So drink up compadres on this holiday weekend -- in case it's the last one I can celebrate in the same way!
IN CASE YOU WANT TO CHECK THE PALPABILITY OF YOUR OWN LIVER:
http://stanfordmedicine25.stanford.edu/the25/liver.html
FROM THE MAKERS OF THE WINE RACK:
http://www.thebeerbelly.com/
UMMM ... PREGNANT BELLY IMAGES (not porn, although that could probably be found):
http://www.amazingpregnancy-pictures.com/photopost/g576-week-15.html
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