I'm not talking about the NATO protests or the Mayan apocalypse (although they both are hanging out there in the Troy-verse) ... nor am I talking about my impending first heart attack (which I say in the hopes that my first one is the "warning" one and not the "widowmaker") .
I've just always thought I'd die one of two ways -- being shot by someone whom I'm trying to gently "educate" through my choices in driving (note: be walking a dog and I will swerve to avoid you -- stand in the middle of the street and not in the crosswalk, and I will see it as a public service to educate you that you should stop doing that) OR by dying laughing (I've attempted this thricely already -- during the "does no one in my family know what a chicken sounds like" scene from Arrested Development, during the "take you and your weird little brown friends with you" scene from Modern Family, and in the denouement of the documentary Tabloid when the word "cloning" was said -- in all three, there I was, literally gasping for air, unable to catch my breath from a guffaw attack).
New to the mix? Toxic mold, as evidenced by this hole in the ceiling of the apartment bathroom and all of the wetness above it. The landlord blames the girls upstairs for not showering with curtains on both sides of the ancient tub (he even creepily said, "I'll have to teach those two how to shower") but the reality is the plumbing in this place has always leaked and will only be fixed with major repairs (and that the ceiling has collapsed and been replaced before -- multiple times now in both 2nd floor apartments I've lived in in this building). As a death-watch bonus -- check out the "Nail of Damocles" that is hanging over the head of anyone taking a shower.
Hey -- we all have to go sometime -- might as well be uniquely.
THIS WAS ALMOST THE DEATH OF ME (you had to be there):
http://www.tumblr.com/tagged/does-no-one-in-this-family-even-know-what-a-chicken-sounds-like
THIS WAS ALSO ALMOST THE DEATH OF ME (search "brown"):
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Series/ModernFamily?from=Main.ModernFamily
THIS WAS ALSO ALSO ALMOST THE DEATH OF ME (at the end when a Korean appeared):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TWeQce0cZsE
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