I don't mean to go off on a rant here, but ...
... it's been a challenging week to be a Penn State fan (and even that sounds like a bit of an understatement).
And let me set the stage correctly, as I'm clearly more of just a casual fan. Truth be told, I've been to more concerts than I have been to games (it was just one live game, courtesy of my sister when she lived in State College, and during the year of the motorcycle when I was looking for short trips I could take from Lebanon on the weekends). I've latched on to following the seasons more closely now that I'm in Chicago since it gives me a connection to my state of upbringing (that's not a commentary on my stepmother issues, that's a direct reference to Pennsylvania). But that doesn't make the Sandusky Scandal any easier to process.
Here's what I think I know a week into this:
1.) Sexual abuse of minors is always wrong. I know that seems obvious, but it seems like there are those who imply that if you show any degree of support for JoePa that you're raping the young ones all over again -- and I do reject that theory. But in what quickly becomes an exercise in exploring the "gray", I just have to state emphatically up front that this premise is black and white -- stealing the innocence of the young is heinous, and hearing about what's been done is heartbreaking.
2.) Violating the trust placed in you to care for youth in such a harmful way also leads directly to a special place in hell. Seeking prey from amongst those who are already disadvantaged is the lowest of the low.
3.) "Grooming" is a very real concept. In these early media reports, it sounds a little like the "glamoring" that the vampires do to their victims, but even to make that connection to the fictional hot topic of the moment does this statement injustice. To research it is to be sickened a little, but if you want to understand that "monsters" are all around us, and that they seldom take on the appearance of an "monster", delve a little into this deviant behavior. Months ... years ... one step at a time to inoculate the victim against what is to come ... all in the hopes that the predator can keep his victim confused enough to continue the abuse. I've seen this happen first hand (that's a story for another time and another day after legal has cleared the information) and can speak to its unique abuse of power between predator and prey.
4.) This revelation has taken armchair quarterbacking to a new level -- instead it's not a discussion of play calls, but a conversation about what everyone says they would have done in that situation, as if we are know exactly how we'd channel our inner Chris Hanson. The still developing timeline finally discloses some of the "who knew what when" that helps an outsider start to craft theories of how blame should be placed. And the seriousness of the crime brings out the expected level of indignation -- but I can't believe that everyone's claims about what they would have done that day in the shower, or in the days thereafter, exactly ring true to the way things really happen in life. The world needs more super-heroes, for sure, but put some variation of this into your workplace. Get HR involved -- and the lawyers -- and the privacy issues -- and the twist that this was a former employee associated with a charity at the time -- and then see how quickly something so black and white becomes gray and muddied.
5.) After typing that last paragraph, I feel like I have to refer anyone reading back to item #1, just to keep things in the right perspective.
6.) Even character traits that cause folks to love us can lead to our downfall if taken to the extreme. So this is admittedly a bit of conjecture on my part, but I have to wonder if those things we've always known about our JoePa (his fierce sense of loyalty, his ability to inspire his staff and his players to a greater cause, his generous spirit) might have played into this situation. Could someone who is fiercely loyal have been blinded to the facts? Might his generous spirit allowed him to give the (wrong) benefit of the doubt when this was brought to his attention? I wasn't there to hear that early March 2002 conversation, and I doubt we'll ever see a transcript of it, but somehow, in some way, what was observed that day in the shower seems to have migrated to the wrong end of the boy-rape/horseplay continuum. Figuring out how this great man could be involved in just that scenario is one of the most painful parts of this scandal.
7.) Which really brings me to what I've been thinking since the news of this situation came to light. This is more about how an institution has responded (or chosen not to) than an individual (even though it's only human nature to put ourselves into the scandal as individuals taking other individuals to task). And in that way, it's much like the abuse scandal that has plagued the Catholic church. Of course, using that analogy, I'm not sure if Spanier or JoePa is the Pope, but it does start to make a little more sense to me how the abuse allegations can be swallowed up by the machine and not make it out to the outside police sources. Again -- I'm not defending the choices that were made, I'm just tempering all of the outrage I've heard about how this could have happened with another real world example. And, if you haven't yet seen the news, the Citadel has just announced that it too has a camp counselor on staff that's been investigated in the past and that they too have abuse allegations that may have been swept under its institutional rug.
8.) The victims are being forgotten. Or so say many. But then there's the take of the lawyer representing some of them -- which is that they are being victimized all over again by the way that this is being handled. In addition to having to take their healing to the public in a way that they couldn't have possible imagined, they now have to deal with the guilt of how this played out in the national media. In the lawyer's words ... "these victims ... may not want to be associated with the downfall of Joe Paterno". But let's also be clear -- the tale of Victim 1 (so called not because he was the first victim, but because he was the one who had the parental support system in place to push to be the first one to come forward) speaks directly to the courage that these boys have had to summon. And let's not ever forget that.
9.) I discovered that I kept on coming back to the word "sad" as I processed everything. And since I used it so much, I thought that a quick peek at the thesaurus might help me be more articulate -- but instead it just made me more depressed. All the same, here goes ... unhappy, depressed, blue, cheerless, dejected, despairing, despondent, disconsolate, distressed, doleful, down, forlorn, gloomy, glum, grieved, heartbroke, heartsick, heavyhearted, lugubrious, melancholy, morose, mournful, out of sorts, pensive, somber, sorrowful, troubled, woebegone. Feel free to choose the one that resonates most with you ...
10.) The last thing I know -- there's much I don't know. But -- we move forward. For as much as I know that the victims must heal (again), that the perpetrator must be punished, that the institutional approach to abuse allegations must be challenged (whether in the arena for the religion of football or the one for the religion of religion), there's also so much I don't know. Was there more of an active cover-up instead of the passive one that's been portrayed in the timeline? Are there more victims who will now feel like they can speak? Will the fall-out from this type of scandal literally kill those involved? That will play out in the weeks and months and years ahead.
But, for now, there is a season to finish -- with football players who played no part in this scandal. Who simply have to face the fact that the timing of this news has taken over the national media attention. Who must rise to the challenge of moving forward (and not returning to business as usual) while the wheels of justice slowly turn. Who must prepare for an Ohio State game next weekend.
And, for that, the fan in me will still end this post with "we are ... Penn State".
THE VICTIMS' LAWYERS PERSPECTIVE:
http://www.thepostgame.com/commentary/201111/alleged-victims-lawyer-board-made-wrong-call-firing-paterno
BE INFORMED -- KNOW ABOUT THE GROOMING TECHNIQUES OF PREDATORS:
http://www.safenetwork.org/GroomingLuresCVT24.htm
HOW CAN I NOT ALSO INCLUDE THIS LINK ANY TIME I ADDRESS THE SCANDAL:
http://www.rainn.org/
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