Random Soapbox for Saturday 2/7/15

I don't mean to go off on a rant here, but ...

... clearly these Vermont teddy bear folks did not quite hit the "age of enlightenment" when it comes to modern times.

From what I've seen on the interwebs, these ads have been around for the last few years, so this might not be news to you.  But, for me, I've only just started seeing them (so either the company's bought more ads this year ... OR I've spent too much time travelling this last fortnight with nothing but hotel room TVs as background).

And they make me feel uncomfortable.  The line about "don't give her flowers 'cause they die", starts out fine enough ... but then the follow up about "don't give her chocolates, 'cause she'll eat them and just ask you if she's fat" seems to be crossing a line.  Add in the fact that commercial models got a lot more porny this year ... and that the whole hunka love bear seems to be being sold as a partner-substitute in a similar vein of a blow up doll just makes it all seem quite a bit off.

Truth be told ... the first time I saw it, I was certain that I was watching a Saturday Night Live type sketch.  The fact that's it real ... makes me want to shower afterwards.

THE 2012 COMMERCIAL, WHICH HAS BEEN PORNED UP FOR 2015:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uojoBHjZohI

SHOULD YOU DISAGREE, GO MAKE A PURCHASE:
http://www.vermontteddybear.com/gift-finder/big-hunka-love.aspx

THEN THERE'S THIS COMPLAINT:
http://www.forbes.com/sites/sabrinaschaeffer/2014/02/14/valentines-day-gifts-speak-to-the-infantilaztion-of-women/

Random Flashback for Friday 2/6/15

Just over twenty years ago ... in the middle of January 1995, a group of individuals gathered in a townhouse in Lebanon PA, with plans to go on a road trip like none other.

The destination was captured in these photos taken along the way ... both of the location and the building upon arrival.

The reason for the trip?  Well that was open to debate and discussion.  As far as the hotel knew, this weekend getaway was a particular organization's reunion weekend event.  As for the city to which we were headed, the fact that Pearl Jam was playing a rock-the-vote event in DC was not a coincidence.  When it came to the participants making the trip, every person was chosen carefully.  And what it came to represent -- the last time that those particular people were all rallied around one task -- that's the stuff of the conclusions of coming of age tales worthy of a movie.  (To be continued ..)

Random Thought for Thursday 2/5/15

Ummm ... isn't the phrase "like a broken record" somewhat anachronistic now?

I mean the younger generation laughs at music on a CD ... let alone a cassette ... or an 8track ... or a ... well ... record.

Maybe the DJ community can keep the phrasing meaningful for just a little bit longer, so as to not confuse the kiddies.  Or maybe we should just change it now to "like an iPod that won't shuffle".

[*These* are the things that occupy my mind ...]

AND THERE ARE MORE OF THEM:
http://kenlevine.blogspot.com/2011/12/words-we-still-use-that-now-make-no.html

EVERYTHING OLD IS NEW AGAIN:
http://blurtonline.com/news/evolution-music-delivery-formats/

AND EVEN MORE, JUST FOR FUN:
http://www.buzzle.com/articles/anachronism-examples-in-literature.html

Random Wordplay for Wednesday 2/4/15

If I should die before I wake, blame it on the bail bonds woman.

Used in a sentence:  "If I should die before I wake, blame it on the bail bonds woman."

Oh right ... this is one of those that is already a sentence.  Plus I should probably provide just a touch more background ... AND expand the potential injury to me to be anything out of the ordinary, up to and including death.

Lest you get the wrong idea ... this is a story about road rage -- not mine but of the ire of the bail bonds woman, who was driving around 70 mph on Oakland Blvd near the vet the Monday night the puppies were picked up after the Super Bowl weekend trip finally ended.  And our car was pulling out of the McDonald's, which made her slow down.

She's apparently not a fan of having to slow down, and so, with horns blaring, she suddenly zoomed across all the lanes (five?) to follow the car, through the Uturn at the light and down to almost the vet's office, where she got in the lane beside the car and threatened us.  Feeling certain she jotted down the license plate number, the *only* thing that takes this to another potential level is that her black SUV had a bail bonds sign on its panel ... and so it crossed my mind that she might have connections to either follow through with her threat OR to involve someone crooked on the right side of the law.  And remember ... just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not after you.

Of course, it's been 48 hours now without any retaliation ... but just in case there's an episode of "Forensic Files" about my strange demise, I wanted to get it out as a matter of public record that the incident occurred (by the way, I *think* the name was Alice or Alcee's Bonds... and that the slogan was "from cell to [something]" and that she was likely a Blatino in her late twenties/early thirties ... so those are the only other facts that I offer to be used during the investigation).

TONIGHT ... a dead man speaks from beyond the grave when an incident described on the Facebook/in a blog points to a troublesome altercation on a Floridian road in the middle of the afternoon ... next on this edition:  If I should die before I wake, blame it on the bail bonds woman."

A LIST (ALTHOUGH NONE OF THEM SEEM TO BE MY WOMAN):
http://www.yellowpages.com/fort-lauderdale-fl/bail-bonds

MY EPISODE (POTENTIALLY):
http://www.forensicfiles.com/

WHO KNEW?  THAT'S A JOSEPH HELLER CATCH-22 QUOTE:
http://www.goodreads.com/author/quotes/3167.Joseph_Heller

Random Tune for Tuesday 2/3/15

Track 29 of 39 in the ongoing series of songs from the college era mixed tape?  This top hit from Canadian Tom Cochrane that, depending on your age, you might know better as the tune by Rascal Flats from Cars.

Or, if even younger, maybe you know the Alvin and the Chipmunks version.

But for us LVC college kids in the early nineties, it was only the original that made it on to the collection.

Not that we were ever out on the highway in the middle of the night when we should have been sleeping or studying or other college-y things.

As he sings ... "there's no load I can't hold, road so rough this I know, I'll be there when the light comes in"

TELL 'EM WE'RE SURVIVORS:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U3sMjm9Eloo

Random Memorial for Monday 2/2/15

Gone but not forgotten:  A-TREAT sodas.

I understand that some of you may not recognize this brand ... but to those of us who used to go to fire company carnivals and pay a dime to toss rings into crates of soda in hopes that we'd win the red cream flavored 32oz bottle like the one in this image, the news that the Allentown company closed abruptly two weeks ago is hard to hear.

[By the way, you could then go to the booth next to it and toss dimes at assorted abandoned mix-matched glasses and dishware and score something in which you could drink it right away!]

A treat from my youth that proved truth in advertising, you will be missed.

BUT WAIT ... MAYBE A SALE?:
http://www.mcall.com/business/mc-a-treat-possible-buyers-20150202-story.html

SO SAD ... STORE IS CLOSED:
http://www.a-treat.com/

SPEAKING OF CARNIVAL GAMES:
http://www.blifaloo.com/info/beat-carnival-games.php

Random Scandal Sheet for Sunday 2/1/15

What New York is talking about this week:

Well ... not me, that's for sure.  Despite how I've been talking about it since arriving here for the annual "chasing the Super Bowl tradition" (off to Phoenix at this time next year).

I know it may not be the most PC thing to say, but I'm not so sure that I love NY like everyone is supposed to.  And it's not just about not liking big city living, seeing as how I lived the heck out Chicago for over a dozen years quite recently.  Although maybe Chicago spoiled me.  What can I say ... I like order, and NY wears its chaos as its swagger.

It's exhausting to have to approach every intersection with the care and caution normally reserved for def-con level threat analysis.  Oh sure they have their little blinking white men signs, but no one pays attention to them (maybe because there are so few white men on the streets?).  On multiple occasions this trip, I actually heard the taxi cab gunning for the pedestrians who dared be in the street.

I like my horns in sections backing up Bruno Mars or James Brown ... instead of honked incessantly (usually at those same pedestrians mentioned above).

I like my trash tidied up in buckets and dumpsters and not thrown in bags covering 85% of the sidewalk.

I think addresses should be at a place and not between two places.  And distances between avenues shouldn't be ten times the distances between streets.

I'm saddened by the fact that the homeless seem homeless-ier, and old people seem older, and lonely people seem lonelier ... and that the eyes of so many passers-by seem so dead.

I like subtlety and do not feel like one should be obligated to say the first thing that one thinks.

I like my drinks supersized.

I like my money, the little bit that I have, and it disappears so quickly here.  So so quickly.

And above all else, I'm a quiet talker and I like to mosey ... and New York doesn't permit me to do either.  So thank you for your hospitality on this fourth trip (the first three were primarily for work, so I didn't have as much time to analyze), but (triple negative alert ['cause that's also how I roll]) I wouldn't be honest if I didn't say that I just don't plan to rush back any time soon.

GET YOUR DEFCON LEVEL RIGHT:
http://www.wikihow.com/Understand-the-Defcon-Scale

IF YOU DON'T LIKE NY, THEN YOU DON'T HAVE TO STAY:
http://www.bkmag.com/2014/02/07/if-you-dont-like-new-york-you-dont-have-to-stay/

HOW THE WHOLE LOVING NEW YORK THING STARTED:
http://www.logoworks.com/blog/a-brief-history-of-the-i-love-new-york-logo/