... dearest sexual assaultist Brock Turner (apparently, your money and your skin color have "upgraded" your status):
Here's the way it's going to work.
Please show up for your three month prison sentence looking all first-mugshot-picture-pretty instead of the drunk-clown-without-makeup actual mugshot that finally got released (I know it's six months on paper, but it's apparently only three in reality).
Don't be alarmed if your cell mate (whom I'm hoping is John-Coffey-Green-Mile size ... or Chris-Keller-Oz oriented) asks that you parade around at night in your speedos. He's probably just a swimfan.
Oh ... and if he plays some version of prison-toilet-wine-pong with you, feel free to imbibe all you want. I mean after all, you'll be locked up, so there's no need to worry about getting home safe or anything, right? You'll already be there. Have a great time. Enjoy yourself. Drink as much as you'd like. Drink until you get black-out drunk if you have to -- no one's judging. Which, sadly, should be a familiar concept for you.
Of course, just know that your new buddy might enjoy a little something something extra at the end of night -- but don't worry -- it'll just be twenty minutes of action or so. Ideally, every night for three months.
'Cause ... karma.
RAPISTS CAUSE RAPE. PERIOD!:
http://nytlive.nytimes.com/womenintheworld/2015/04/24/the-only-thing-that-causes-rape-is-rapists-solving-the-problem-of-sexual-assault-on-campus/
A FEW NOTES ABOUT THE HEROES:
http://heavy.com/news/2016/06/carl-fredrik-arndt-peter-jonsson-stanford-brock-turner-swedish-students-stop-rape-heroes-photos-facebook-video/
HELP IS AVAILABLE:
https://centers.rainn.org/
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