Admittedly, I've never been the most sporting type (unless, you know, there was a BOOK to read about sporting) ...
But may I recommend, for your problem that made the front page of the local newspaper ...
Perhaps a cup? A box? A jockstrap? An athletic supporter? A nutty buddy? A testicular guard?
All in all ... I propose this because I fear that going to the state for assistance is one of those trends of late that gets folks riled up. I mean ... literally here ... my suggestion is about getting government OFF your jock!
Sincerely,
A kid at heart who still giggles when he hears that groins are under attack.
THE PHRASE NUTTY BUDDY ALSO MAKE ME GIGGLE:
http://www.nuttybuddy.com/
WHO'S SURPRISED (REALLY) ... 100 YEARS LATER?!:
http://arnoldzwicky.org/2012/08/15/an-old-joke-2/
OK OK I KNOW ... *THESE* ARE THE GROINS IN PLAY:
http://oceanica.cofc.edu/an%20educator'sl%20guide%20to%20folly%20beach/guide/process3.htm
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