IF HEAVEN EXISTS, WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO HEAR GOD SAY WHEN YOU ARRIVE AT THE PEARLY GATES?: I have to say -- some questions are just too easy. Or some answers are to easy, that is. Clearly what I want to hear upon arrival is someone saying "OOPS -- MADE A MISTAKE -- PULLED YOU OUT TOO EARLY, SO WE'RE SENDING YOU BACK".
But seeing as how that answer might be deemed a trick response by anyone judging ... I guess the other answer I'll provide is "HERE -- TAKE A LOOK AT THIS ITINERARY FOR YOUR FIRST DAY":
First things first: Demon is waiting for you (by the way, that's not "a demon", but "the Demon", the American Staffordshire Pit Bull who was put down in 2008), and he's ready for his morning walk/pull around the clouds. And his back legs work just fine, and he's above all the noise of the thunderstorms so he's never scared any more, and he'll still help himself to his box of biscuits when you return.
Then it's a busy day ahead, and it all starts with an orientation so you can meet your working groups. We've targeted you for a morning session where we're brainstorming ways to take back our message, as it's being misused down on Earth and twisted into causes to justify hate instead of love -- and an afternoon one where you can learn how to be a guardian angel to a handful of folks of your own choosing.
Lunch will be served by Joanne, and you'll break to watch Days of our Lives with her just like you used to. And the evening entertainment tonight is Lucille Ball and Jackie Gleason performing their one-act plays together (admittedly, a bit of a darker presentation, but the experience is in seeing them live again).
Of course, by the end of the night, don't forget to leave time to open up a can of tuna, as Mystery, Mauler and Baby are all here to share in the nightly treat. And, just before the most peaceful sleep you've ever had (no nightmares, no unresolved issues playing games with your subconscious psyche, just the right temperature of pillow and softness of mattress), DJ will be waiting for you to sit out on a balcony and share a Swisher Sweet as you reflect on the day's activities.
Yep -- that's what I want to hear. Just in case anyone is taking requests.
On that note ... there's nothing left to say except ... "... and ... scene"!
ADMITTEDLY, UNTIL THIS POST, I DIDN'T REALIZE THIS SPECIAL EXISTED:
http://www.tcm.com/tcmdb/title/472642/Lucille-Ball-Special-Starring-Lucille-Ball-and-Jackie-Gleason-A/
AN ERSTWHILE TRADITION (TO BE REVIVED IN HEAVEN?):
http://www.swisher.com/
I'M EXPECTING THESE TO BE STOCKED BEHIND THE PEARLY GATES:
http://www.sharperimage.com/si/view/product/Temperature-Regulating-Pillow-Case/200212
No comments:
Post a Comment