August 17, 2013

Random Soapbox for Saturday 8/17/13

I don't mean to go off on a rave here, but ...

... go me.

[What's this?  Two raves in one month when I'm usually up on the soapbox ranting?  And awarding the rave to me!  Just call me rule-breaker (although, let's face it ... I made these rules for this blogging construct, so I can break 'em just as easily ...)]

I love to be in the center of a win-win-win-win situation, and now that I've been recycling my empty cans of Coke (and Yeungling Lager, depending on the kindness of others who drop some off after their trips back to PA) for almost a year, I feel much worthy of a rave.

WIN -- I can drink my Coke guilt-free, even if my age and metabolism require that I mostly limit myself to just one a day (except special occasions -- and yes, "special" becomes very relative and susceptible to rationalizations, as I imbibe a bonus Coke on such "special" occasions as "going grocery shopping", "having pizza for dinner" and "running errands in the car that require me driving more than thirty minutes").  That also means that my beer belly gets to be a beer-and-coke belly, which just sounds more bad-ass.

WIN -- Through my frequent Coke purchases, I support big business, helping the economy improve.  The Great Recession may have ended, but that recovery seems a touch precarious, so anything I can do to help us put that experience as far in our rear view mirror as possible is a good thing.  And if Pepsi gets crushed in the process, well then -- go capitalism!

WIN -- Recycling keeps more of my trash out of the landfill, or in the lake, or scattered across the back alleys of Chicago, or in the poor southside 'hoods or wherever it is that is the final resting place for all of our trash.  And that has to be a good thing, no?

WIN -- Little Latin babies will eat better because of my actions.  Because you see, by "recycle", I mean that I take my bag of cans and I go to the back alley and I put it on top of my dumpster -- and voila (which is a word of French origin, but I just don't know what Spanish magicians say when revealing things magical) -- it disappears right quick into one of the many trucks prowling the alleys for scrap metal.  [Note -- I am being descriptive, not racist.  I see these trucks all the time, and they are always driven by Latinos -- without exception.  And, thanks to the prevalence of the Pope within that culture, I can almost guarantee that there is at least one baby per family. (What is with that Pope guy?  He's so against Trojans, you'd think he was Greek instead of South American.  Let's face it -- Onan and his seed spilling incident was a long long time ago ... and being punished for NOT knocking up your dead brother's wife seems a little more like a Jerry Springer episode and a little less like a Bible story around which the kiddies should rally ...)

With that, I should probably get off the soapbox and end this rave.  After all, I don't think that Catholics have the equivalent of a fatwa when it comes to making fun of religious leaders, but I probably shouldn't push my luck ... and ... it's time for a Coke!

NYC FIGURED OUT HOW TO TRACK WHERE ITS TRASH WENT:
http://senseable.mit.edu/trashtrack/

GO PLAY IN AN ALLEY (NO, REALLY, IT'S A RECOMMENDED CHITOWN ACTIVITY:
http://www.timeoutchicago.com/things-to-do/96131/chicagos-best-alleys

JUST SAYIN' ... ONAN AND HIS SEED SPILLING WAS A LONG TIME AGO:
http://rhrealitycheck.org/article/2013/07/23/welcome-to-brazil-pope-francis-can-we-please-talk-about-contraception/

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