The Verdict.
I have to tell you, I'm just not that sure what I have to add to the national conversation at this point -- although I will say if Facebook and other social media had been big during the trial of my century (that's the one with the dancing Itos and the Glove nursery rhymes and the original Kardashian baby daddy [not the current Kanye one]), I have a feeling that second civil war that various factions have been hinting at as a possibility would have happened back then. (Or maybe a few years after that, when Clarence and Anita testified about pubic hair on pop cans [oh picture the meme possibilities].)
And I have to tell you that I've searched the interwebs and I can't find anyone who referred to the Zimmerman weight gain as a "twinkie offense", so maybe I can be the first? I mean twinkies and hate crime murder cases go together like gloves and hands that fit into them (since the days of H. Milk), and surely this was a strategy to fatten up the Zman to appear less threatening to a jury, right? What with the return of the snack treat from the depths of bankruptcy around the same time as the trial, that wordplay just seemed like a slam dunk.
And one more thing I have to tell you -- it is odd how the subconscious works. I could have sworn the other night that I was awakened from my sleep with the sounds of someone outside the window yelling "help" (with a cheap AC unit installed, the sound barrier to Wrigleyville is compromised). Upon reflection, it might have just been Murder (the sole remaining pet in the apartment) playing her usual game of "whine and seek" (she puts the cat in caterwaul, let me tell you), or it might have been a random drunkard yelling something that sounds close to the help word (or the word itself), but there were no sounds of shots fired after that which I thought was a scream (in my 'hood, we tend to stab each other and eschew guns [at least for now]) and there were no bodies on the corner the next morning, so I'm thinking it must have been my dream state processing the gorging of related news stories I had stuffed into my cranium throughout the preceding 24 hour period.
And so life goes on -- well, for those of us who survive overzealous watchmen ...
TWINKIE OFFENSE GOOGLE SEARCH DOES TURN UP THIS ARTICLE:
http://www.nationalreview.com/corner/333601/twinkie-offense-mark-steyn
WHO KNEW? CATERWAUL THE CAT IS AN EXISTING CHARACTER:
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Caterwaul-the-Cat/217133498345787
ARE YOU TOO YOUNG TO UNDERSTAND THE PUBIC HAIR REFERENCE?:
http://www.zimbio.com/America's+50+Most+Scandalous+Political+Scandals/articles/20/Clarence+Thomas+Anita+Hill+Pubic+Hair+Can
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