Capricious Cognition: Random Soapbox for Saturday 6/29/13

I don't mean to go off on a rave here, but ... (and fair warning -- it's really going to sound more like a rant, but I do have my self-set monthly quota of one rave to fulfill, so ...)

... I support Paula Deen (seen here in a photo taken by me and mine in March of 2012 at the Chicago convention center -- which is the closest I've ever come to her, and that includes eating at her restaurant in nearby Joliet in August 2012, which is the additional photo, and for which, she was not present).

She makes me smile, at a minimum -- but usually she makes me laugh. She considers bacon, butter and cheese as condiments to be used on most every dish (or at least she once did, before her health scare) -- and so do I (or, at least I mostly do, having swapped out Country Crock for butter as a minor tweak to my diet to avoid having a cardiac event at too young of an age).

In light of recent events, I should probably stop now and say that just because I like her does NOT mean that I support throwing around the n-word (or the f-word, or the dy-word, or the k-word, or the t-word, or the wo-word, or the d-word, or the s-word, or the we-word, or the j-word, or the sl-word, or the o-word) or any other derogatory term that is used to stereotype and defeat everything that should be a celebration of individuality. [By the way, I'm sure I didn't cover them all, but if you can't follow along, those "words" are arranged by orientation, orientation, religion, religion, Italian, Italian, Hispanic, Mexican, Japanese, Asian and Asian -- my apologies if I left out your affiliation.]

Speaking of affiliation, I just realized I forgot the c-word, and the wh-word, and the h-word, and the h-word said twice back to back, and the h-word with the qualifier of "dead" before it. [By the way, if you're not following this thread, then go google the classic SNL skit between Chevy Chase and Richard Pryor.] These are the "words" that could be slung at me for the group to which I most obviously belong.

Saying I support her but not her actions that have been dragged incessantly through the news this past fortnight should sound oddly familiar, because it reminds me of certain posts I used to write whereby I lauded the entirety of Joe Paterno's career and cautioned readers that it didn't mean I was running out to play shower games with little boys. One can defend the way a person is being treated without it being linked to a defense of an incorrect action. That's some strange syllogism seen most on social media that I just can't support.

By the way -- I'm also not stating this tonight just because President Jimmy Carter said she should be forgiven. Although, I will say that when Jimmy speaks, I so wish we had a governmental system like in Germany, where there is a separate head of state for ceremonial matters, and so that said person can speak to the collective consciousness of the country. I'm pretty sure the existence of that role is a byproduct of their nationalistic past (a bit of a play toward checks and balances, if you will) -- but I think, more and more in our divided electorate, we could use one of those positions in America.

Here's the reason I'm raving about Ms. Deen -- because I want to offer support as a counter to the celebrity bashing bandwagon. My understanding of the world we live in is less and less black and white and more and more shades of grey (note -- that's not black and white *people* about which I speak -- and that's not the *fifty* shades I'm referencing either). To all you self-righteous, holier than thou, "ones without sin casting the first stones" loud mouths out there -- if you are indeed the Titan of Tolerance and always have been from the moment you first grasped that others weren't always like you (and I mean in action and thought and deed, not just in public persona), then my hat is off to you and I think you should feel free to widely announce your judgment. If not, shut up and let the woman apologize and go about her life.

Personally -- I'm not being deposed, so I don't have to go on record with an answer about my past (although I will share a personal story in my closing), but I know what I've said -- and I know what I've heard said and I've not spoken up in response to it. I can strive toward Titan of Tolerance status, but I'm still working on keeping an open mind and meeting as many people unlike me so that I can appreciate individuals as individuals. I'm a work in progress -- which inherently means I've made mistakes in this arena. And I really really don't think I'm alone in that.

In a strange way -- this admission makes her more authentic to me as someone who grew up in the deep south in a different time. And more than that -- she was truthful (of course, there was a deposition) -- and afterwards, apologetic. I think we should be rallying around those character traits and use this opportunity to learn lessons, one and all -- instead of supporting the ruining of someone's career.

In closing, I wrote a murder mystery almost twenty years ago. In it, a character made reference to a noise in the alley as pretense for leaving a scene and moving on to another (that's the way my audience participation murder mysteries worked -- participants were always following around the actors from scene to scene). As the author, I had the character to whom he was speaking respond with "don't worry about it -- it's probably just a 'coon in the trash cans." That phrasing was written with nothing other than me innocently trying to convey that a raccoon might have been responsible for the making of the fictional noise. My surrogate grandmother was shocked at that language -- and informed me that I couldn't possibly keep that line in the play as it was a racial slur. I'm pretty sure I left the line in unedited. And so, for that occurrence twenty years ago, I offer up an apology to any and all who were (or are) offended.

See -- that's an example of a lesson learned that certain words can be hurtful. Now I'm going to move on, like I wish so many others would do -- informed and sensitive and with a commitment toward celebrating individuality and not using stereotypes. Please join me.