Random Soapbox for Saturday 12/17/11

I don't mean to go off on a rant here, but ...

... when did the sports section of the paper get so controversial?

And I'm not talking about the scandals of late (that makes my heart hurt too much), but instead about these gems that are actual stories I've seen in the last few months:

1.) A 16 year old high school football student in Ohio was sentenced to 90 days after he slipped a thumbtack into his glove for the postgame handshake with the rival team.

2.) Turkey decided that soccer teams that had been sanctioned for unruly behavior would no longer be allowed to admit men as spectators -- only women and children could watch.

3.) An Israeli national woman's basketball player was kept out of a game because she wore a tshirt underneath her jersey so that her shoulders would be covered in observance with her Orthodox Jewish modesty rules.

4.) A US sprinter attended the world track and field championships hindered by blistered feet because he wore wet socks into a cryogenic chamber.

5.) Tailgating fans of the Detroit Lions were kicked out of a parking lot "stripper bus" called the "booty lounge" because it was determined to be illegal.

6.) Two kids were kicked off of their high school football team because they failed to meet the residency requirements (they stayed with their mom elsewhere on the weekends, and she complained on facebook that they couldn't clean up their bedrooms even thought they only lived with her on Sat and Sun).

7.) Experts testifying at a Senate committee on concussions and the marketing of sports equipment took major companies to task for jumping on the bandwagon and selling equipment that creates "brain safety space" -- even though there was no scientific evidence backing up the claims.

8.) And my favorite most controversial sports story of the last few months .... Iran cracked down on immoral goal-scoring celebrations and two players were banned after Mohammed was caught squeezing the backside of teammate Sheis after a winning goal was scored. (Although I should probably research that to make sure those two weren't stoned.)

Oh for the old fashioned days when it was just scores that were reported in the daily papers -- when thumbtacks were on a bulletin board, when Turkish men controlled themselves, when shoulders were allowed to be covered, when people knew that wet clothes shouldn't go near things that would freeze them, when strippers stayed off buses, when moms didn't tattle on their sons, when concussions weren't the stuff of a marketing gimmick and when guys could squeeze each other's asses all day long without issue (in a sports kind of way, of course ...)

SORRY BRO ... HAND PRICKING IS NOT COOL:
http://www.sorrybrosports.com/2011/10/thumbtack-handshakes-are-illegal-hs.html

DETROIT STRIPPER BUS ... NOW WITH PICTURES!:
http://bustedcoverage.com/2011/09/28/detroits-booty-lounge-stripper-tailgating-bus-whats-the-problem-30-photos/

THE BUTT SQUEEZE THAT MAY HAVE LED TO 74 LASHES:
http://bustedcoverage.com/2011/09/28/detroits-booty-lounge-stripper-tailgating-bus-whats-the-problem-30-photos/