October 15, 2011

Random Soapbox for Saturday 10/15/11

I don't mean to go off on a (vacation delayed) rant here, but ...

... why is it that you never pack exactly every item you need when you get out of town for the weekend.

Take, for example, a black sharpie. There I was, half an hour outside of Ft. Wayne, pulling over to a gas station for a double Jackson/Johnson break (that's double Jackson as in it will take two twenties to fill the tank and double Johnson as in two shakes of the appendage during a trip to the urinal). Side note -- I was the only item that wasn't a truck filling up at the tanks, but that's not what this story is about. It was when I was leaving the building that I saw the sign by the front door -- on one side, it said "no parking", and, on the other , "no paring". I thought about informing the cashier behind the counter, but didn't want to risk coming off as "elitist" (second side note -- in today's post racial world, that word sure gets thrown around now as if it's just code for "uppity"). So then I thought I would just take matters into my own hands and supply a citizen's "k" -- except I didn't pack a black sharpie in the overnight bag!

My mind then immediately turned to protest/performance art (not to diminish any of the "occupy wall street" folks who are busy exercising their first amendment rights), and I thought that I could possibly stand silently by the sign, with a paring knife, slicing the skin off an apple or a kiwi [or insert other fruit/food that would make a contestant on the $25,000 pyramid say "things for which you use a paring knife"]. But in addition to feeling that those in my immediate environs might not get the gist behind my speaking out about the limitation of America's rights to pare wherever they choose, I also didn't pack a paring knife in the overnight bag!

My list for packing for my next trip is about to get a lot longer so that I can take advantage of these opportunities in the future! Black sharpie -- check! Paring knife -- check! Elitist attitude about spelling errors -- check!

Third side note, and speaking of black sharpies that may or may not have been packed in a bag, one would have come in handy during last week's challenge trying to keep track of the many Buddhas on that temple, assuming that it wasn't written into the rules that you couldn't use a writing utensil (and here's my Amazing Race Aside, with 3 things I learned on the last episode) ...

1.) I thought all elephants were cute, but then I met the one that greeted the people checking in last week, and I had to reconsider -- unless maybe it's just a phase that one was going through ...

2.) If, by all accounts, I hated my sister and she couldn't ride a bike, I probably wouldn't take her on the Race with me -- just sayin'!

3.) The snowboarders/bikesurfers are growing on me as one of my favorite teams this year, although I think I would get a complex if I kept on winning first place by technicalities (that's two in a row mostly thanks to penalties).

THERE's A WEBSITE FOR EVERYONE -- LIKE THIS ONE FEATURING UGLY PETS!:
http://uglypets.blogspot.com/2009/06/most-ugly-elephant-pictures.html

GETTIN' TO AND FRO BY BIKE -- LEARNING HOW TO RIDE A BAT BIKE:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u3jXoF24K8w

FUNNY NO PARKING SIGNS (TWO WITH CUSS WORDS -- BE WARNED):
http://www.oddee.com/item_97187.aspx

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