I know I wasn't speeding. Admittedly, I did have my cruise control set for a few miles above the speed limit -- but that's what you do on long drives at night on midwest interstates. [I remind myself of this fact as I relay this story partially to absolve myself from blame for the tragedy that unfolded.] Of course, my actual speed of travel didn't make the sound of him hitting my windshield any less jarring.
I couldn't help it. I had to know why -- even though I knew before I started asking the questions that I would never know why. But I still couldn't help myself from thinking ... Was he showing off for friends? Trying to impress a paramour? Was his life so painful that he self-medicated off of the thrill of risky behavior?
Or was it just a case of the "wrong place at the wrong time"? Maybe he was a visitor from another place that was unfamiliar with the environs and just confused easily? Was it a desperate move of one who had given up hope? Was I complicit in a suicide of sorts?
Could it be that this all happened so that he could save another? Was there someone else in danger that I hadn't seen, and this was a noble move of sacrifice? Is there someone on the side of the road that I had now passed by who was dealing with survivor's guilt? Someone with whom I should commiserate as we were now both affected by this situation?
It was only the sound of my car drifting to the side of the road and running over the rumble strips that revived me from my cerebral reverie. As the last bit of the bioluminescent innards faded, and the little green light of the dead firefly was finally and forever extinguished, I said a few words to wish him well on his new path, flicked on the wipers and squirted the now Styx-ian fluids that would erase him from my direct view.
And then I vowed to not watch "A Bug's Life" again, to stop anthropomorphizing my entomological interactions and I continued on my journey (undoubtedly silently slaying hundreds more on my path, but much more confident in my position in this ecosystem).
[And you just read my fifth entry in my occasional series of super-short sTROYies -- you can find the others by using the link to the left on the blog ...]
BUT THEY ARE ALL SO CUTE HERE:
http://www.pixar.com/featurefilms/abl/
THE SKINNY ON THE GLOWIN':
http://www.clermontcountyohio.gov/nr0611lightningbug.aspx
THIS PLACE HAS A FEATURED BUG OF THE MONTH:
http://microbiology.mtsinai.on.ca/bug/TW/tw-mm.shtml
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