I don't mean to go off on a rant here (communicated in the form of an open letter to those drunks who woke me up last night), but ...
... Dearest Drunken Revellers:
You may not know it, but I've installed my $9 air conditioner (it cost $109, but I cashed in those PNC points for that Home Depot gift card at just the right time) in my bedroom window in anticipation of the oppressive heat that was forecast (?or is that forecasted -- what is the correct past tense? I don't want to sound all CLTV-weather-personality-Duffy-Atkins-esque [hope you pop soon, 'cause you look miserable on camera with what looks to be a small village you're about to birth]), and there is a section of it that now lets in a small strip of light (by the way, I think I might be addicted to parentheses and brackets -- or I might have abandonment issues and so I never want my sentences to end).
And it is through this portal that your loud chanting and cheering snuck in last night to waken me from my usual crazy-dream filled slumber.
I get it -- I chose to live in the shadow of Wrigley Field, so I must accept some degree of public drunkenness at all times of day and night. And I'm fully aware of the color of my own pot (that's in a "pot calling the kettle kind of way" as opposed to a "Mary Louise Parker returning Showtime sitcom connection -- and welcome back to the Botwins!"), but here's the difference. If I get loud in a residential area, it's much more likely that I'm demonstrating reverse peristalsis on a sidewalk in the 'hood and not rallying a group of inebriated folks to some unknown cause.
It probably wasn't your purpose and I know I shouldn't take it so personally, but your robbing me of a half hour of sleep or so did not prevent me from my holiday plans for today. I've already been to the beach for two hours, the steak's been marinating since last night, the seedless watermelon has been prepared (there's no spitting of seed in this household (c)), the vegetable skewers have begun their bath in Gazebo Room dressing (that trip to PA wasn't just for Tastikakes and Yuengling Lager) and the impulse buy S'mores ingredients are waiting to play their role in the scene that will best display my regression to childhood this evening.
But back to those drunks and that unwanted revelling I heard through my air conditioner portal -- the only thing I remember thinking this morning was how badly I wished you had been silenced. And if that is what a silencer is for ... then my last thought is ...
That is why I shan't have a gun (even if our city's ban has been declared unconstitutional).
[And that may be the one and only time I use shan't this year.]
Happy Holiday weekend to you and yours ...
XOXO
Troy
IS THIS S'MORE BLASHPEMY OR S'MORE INNOVATION (YOU BE THE JUDGE):
http://www.sunset.com/food-wine/kitchen-assistant/new-smores-recipes-00400000043561/
SEASON 7 HAS BEGUN:
http://www.sho.com/site/weeds/home.sho
IT's NOT LIKE IT HASN'T BEEN ILLEGAL GUNS BEING USED IN ALL THE KILLINGS ANYWAY:
http://articles.cnn.com/2010-06-28/justice/us.scotus.handgun.ban_1_justices-two-years-gun-control-justices-john-paul-stevens?_s=PM:CRIME
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