... for goodness sakes, boys and girls -- let's all keep our alcohol fueled activities in check.
On the alcoholic continuum (ranging from practicing Muslim on one end to Charlie Sheen on the other), I fall somewhere near the middle, comfortably positioned between social drinker and occasional binger. I will schedule my evenings of debauchery (and, as I age, the day or two for recovery thereafter) and I do look back frequently to marvel about how quickly one Guinness can become eight or ten -- but I still have found a way to minimize any extremely unsafe situations (it helps that I'm mostly a happy individual when under the influence).
As the generation behind me launches into spring break, I am troubled with the faster!more!now! atmosphere that has advanced insta-buzz tricks beyond the beer funnels or jello shots of my youth to the latest (and increasingly more dangerous) trend of "eyeballing vodka". I imagine some accident akin to "you've got peanut butter in my chocolate/chocolate in my peanut butter" is to blame, but the hard core partiers looking for instant inebriation are now taking shots of pure vodka directly through the eyeball.
I'm sure the alcohol IV is right around the corner ... but please save those kinds of stunts for Jackass 4-ever (or whatever version the oft testicularly tortured Johnny Knoxville is on now). Can't we all just draw the line at drinking through a straw when it comes to "accelerating my buzz" innovations?
IT's ALL THE RAGE IN ENGLAND:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1278583/Young-people-drinking-neat-vodka-EYE-quick-buzz.html
YOU CAN ALWAYS GO THIS ROUTE--GUINNESS HAS MORE BUZZ PER UNIT:
JUST IN CASE YOU FALL TO THE EDGE OF THE CONTINUUM:
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