Random Soapbox for Saturday 4/17/10

I don't mean to go off on a rant here (disguised as a riddle wrapped inside an enigma), but ...

Here is a prize. We want you to have it. It will make you feel good about what you do. It will make us feel good for offering it to you. It should be something for which you strive. (And, by the way, just to be clear -- if you don't get the prize, in our hearts and minds, we are going to feel and know that you are incompetent.)

How do you get the prize? Just increase X and decrease Y. For the remaining days of the calendar year, always be mindful of those values -- but to make it more exciting, although we have values for X and Y in mind -- we're not going to tell you what they are. After all, we want you to have a challenge. (And, by the way, there's a guy in a room somewhere who knows the exact values of X and Y, but, for fun, we tell him to pick new numbers every fortnight.)

Might you want a clue? OK ... we can give you a glimpse of the progress you've made toward X and Y. (But don't look at the calendar and be misled into thinking that this is 25% of X and Y -- it's not! Because, as we've already said, we want you to have a challenge, and if it were 25%, then you could just do the math and solve the puzzle!)

Might you be frustrated? Fear not -- this is innovative leadership for modern times!

DISCLAIMER (a classic CYA move, but since it supplies protections in the movies, why not here?): If you read the Dilbert comic strip and do not watch NBC's The Office ... then I got this idea from watching NBC's The Office. If you watch NBC's The Office and do not read the Dilbert comic strip ... then I got this idea from reading the Dilbert comic strip. If you watch NBC's The Office and read the Dilbert comic strip, then I got this idea from a dream I had recently featuring Ricky Gervais talking about ideas he abandoned from his original concept of The Office. If you were in a dream I recently had featuring Ricky Gervais talking about ideas he abandoned from his original concept of The Office -- then get out of my head! Said another way:

"The events depicted in this blog are fictitious. Any similarity to any person living or dead or any similarity to any workplace setting or any similarity to any quiz bowl environment or any similarity to any logic game or any similarity to any punishment in hell is merely coincidental."

DILBERT: http://www.dilbert.com/strips/comic/2009-02-02/

THE OFFICE: http://www.theofficequotes.com/random-the-office-quotes

RICKY GERVAIS: http://www.rickygervais.com/

PUNISHMENTS IN HELL: http://www.desitwist.com/spiritual-heaven/punishments-hell-23241.html