April 10, 2010

Random Soapbox for Saturday 4/10/10

I don't mean to go off on a rant here, but ...

... in an increasingly complex world, must the makers of M&Ms really overwhelm us with so many different flavors? I was making an Easter basket last weekend, and suddenly was faced with choosing from Coconut, Wild Cherry, Dark Chocolate (with or without peanuts), Almond, Peanut, Minis, Megas, Premiums (Raspberry Almond, Mocha, Triple Chocolate) -- and while its exhausting to list them all, that list is not exhaustive! I instantly had flashbacks to the horrible aftertaste of the Strawberried Peanut Butter Transformers movie tie-in M&Ms from a bit ago and I just can't imagine that the world needs all of these options.

Have we learned nothing from Combos, who tried to expand their line with Bacon Egg and Cheese Biscuit and Cheeseburger offerings (and the biscuit one tasted like dog biscuits -- I know how they taste because I worked the McDonald's drive-thru in my youth and, on a dare, I sampled the ones we gave out to the dogs -- and the burger one left you with an aftertaste of artificial pickle).

To be clear, though, I don't want this diatribe to lead to diminished true innovation, like the Double Down arriving at KFC on Monday morning. A sandwich that foregoes a bun for two slabs of chicken with bacon and cheese holding it all together from the inside out is exactly what America needs to bridge the gap sparked by partisan discord of late.

Have we all gotten so selfish and entitled that we demand this level of variety from the products we buy? There is a part of me that wants the manufacturer to discontinue everything but the original plain and peanut M&Ms and launch a marketing campaign that says, "Sit down, shut up, eat the candies we give you and enjoy them!" For fear that doesn't sound very American of me, I would then posit that we can harness the creativity and innovative spirit that fills the world with dozens of chocolate candy flavors and direct it toward fulfilling the real needs of our populace!

M&Ms: http://mms.com/us/about/

COMBOS: http://www.flickr.com/photos/smurfwreck/2636896764/

DOUBLE DOWN: http://www.kfc.com/doubledown/

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