... I don't think we can be friends any more, Jennifer Aniston.
Lookit, it's not that I didn't enjoy watching you interact with all the folks on that TV show ... and it's not that I'm taking you to task for your run of mediocre movies ('cause, if we're being really honest with each other, I've yet to see most of your run of mediocre movies).
Nope -- the problem that you and I have now is as simple as the fact that I can't relate to your recent nightmares about waking up on a plane and not being able to find the shower. It's a bit of a "look-at-me-I'm-so-entitled douche-princess" of a move. I know that sometimes celebrities do interesting advertisements that air in other countries, so maybe you were misled and thought that this wouldn't be seen by those of us whose nightmares are more about how we risk deep vien thrombosis every time we fly because three people are squished into a space no bigger than a child's coffin.
You wake up from a restful nap and go to the bar to complain to the bartender ... I take an aisle seat and will myself to look sick hoping that my appearance, with the barf bag as a prop, will keep at least the middle seat free of pounds of flesh competing for the small amount of oxygen we all have to share in my row.
The closest thing I had to having a shower on a plane once was when I opened up the bottle of coca-cola I had smuggled on and I had forgotten that it had gotten shaken and jostled during the boarding process so that it spritzed all over me (and the person next to me). And let me tell you -- a sticky shower isn't a shower at all.
So that's it. We don't relate to each other any more. We're no longer friends.
[Disclaimer: Angelina Jolie did NOT pay me to write this post.]
JENNIFER JUST MAY BE COLLATERAL DAMAGE IN THE AIR WARS:
http://www.usatoday.com/story/todayinthesky/2015/10/05/is-emirates-targeting-us-airlines-with-new-jennifer-aniston-ad/73381332/
TURNS OUT THERE'S A BIT OF ANISTON HATING GOING AROUND:
http://www.foxnews.com/photoessay/0,4644,6513,00.html/#/photoessay/image/0205091631_M_jen1_big-jpg
I AM RESIGNED TO THE FACT THAT I MAY NEVER EXPERIENCE ANY OF THESE:
http://www.businessinsider.com/the-worlds-10-most-luxurious-plane-cabins-2015-10
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