... I am now convinced more than ever that we are raising a generation of pansies.
(And yes, my metamorphosis into a grumpy old man is nigh unto complete.)
Along comes the Arzum toaster, with its fancy sideways pull out drawer because this generation wants to avoid burning its little fingertips on the hot parts of the traditional toaster as it lays claim to it's bread post-Maillard-reaction.
I'm sorry. I'm all for innovation and solving problems. However, "getting little ouchies when picking toast out of a toaster" as a problem does not rise to the level of being worthy of whatever amount of time and money went into this re-design. And, believe you me, the world is going to throw much harder things at a person than this predicament. If you can't handle it ... maybe eat cold bread instead (you can still butter it and even add jelly if you'd like) until you can build up your coping skills to be able to address the risks associated with making toast. Because ... spoiler alert ... if you want your bread to turn into toast, the machine that makes it is going to have to get hot. You're going to have to take that into consideration when evaluating whether you are up for that challenge.
For those of you for whom this issue is so bothersome that you need to purchase this redesigned bread-heater machine ... do me a favor. Turn on the toaster. Be sure it is plugged in. Pick up a fork. Stick it in to the machine. Repeat as unnecessary until YOU are the one that is "toast"*. Because the rest of us don't want to have to carry the likes of you when it's time for whatever apocalyptic scenario lies in our collective immediate future.
[*Disclaimer: My lawyers want me to say that the author bears no responsibility for any idiot who actually follows these instructions. They are provided simply for dramatic effect.]
JUST ONE OF SIX INNOVATIONS NO ONE NEEDED:
http://ovens.reviewed.com/features/6-toasters-that-will-blow-your-mind
SCIENCE YO:
http://www.scienceofcooking.com/maillard_reaction.htm
YES INDEEDY ... KIDS TODAY ARE SOFT!:
https://olddognewtits.com/2012/07/10/kids-today-are-soft-and-here-are-some-of-the-reasons-why/
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