[PAUSE: Upon reflection on that last sentence that I wrote, I'm not sure if there is anything else I could type that would better encapsulate the subtext of ... I am old.]
... as Ray Stevens was on that pledge special singing his before-its-time Gaga-esque hit "Everything is Beautiful". This is not that song ... but it does have this stellar second verse:
Well, Harv hit the aisles dancin' and screamin'
Some thought he had religion others thought he had a demon
And Harv thought he had a weed eater loose in his Fruit-Of-The-Looms
He fell to his knees to plead and beg and the squirrel ran out of his britches leg
Unobserved to the other side of the room
All the way down to the amen pew where sat Sister Bertha better-than-you
Who'd been watchin' all the commotion with sadistic glee
But you should've seen the look in her eyes
When that squirrel jumped her garters and crossed her thighs
She jumped to her feet and said "Lord have mercy on me"
As the squirrel made laps inside her dress
She began to cry and then to confess to sins that would make a sailor blush with shame
She told of gossip and church dissension but the thing that got the most attention
Was when she talked about her love life and then she started naming names
Nowhere else but country music can this kind of song go down!
IN THAT SLEEPY LITTLE TOWN OF PASCAGOULA:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K16fG1sDagU
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