I don't mean to go off on a rant here, but ...
... as much as I want to comment on today's tragedy in Tucson, I'm going to bite my blog-tongue and wait a week until more details are gathered (and to focus on good thoughts for those that might still recover, as is my true wish). There is a downside to the 24 hour news cycle in that assumptions get made while facts are still being gathered. [Rest assured, I am 100% confident that in a week I'll be bemoaning the loss of civility and discourse and chastising those who foment anger that gets channeled into pure evil -- but if all this ends up as the work of an unsettled grammarian, I want to make sure I rant properly.]
So, to distract us all from that violence, I'll discuss how frustrated I am by my own gas, in an attempt to comment in diatribe style on those who now so quickly share the most intimate health news. [Consider that a fair warning, if you're still reading this, then I'm not accountable for your reaction.] Maybe to blame is the proliferation of physicians on TV, both fictional and "reality" (that's in quotes as those words are no longer opposites), so Dr. House and Dr. Oz and Sanjay Gupta and Cuddy (I remember you fondly when you were a high class prostitute for Rob Lowe in DC during West Wing) and McDreamy and those doctors that include some guy who was a bachelor ... here's my dilemma. [Last warning -- look away. You might think this conversation to be déclassé, but now that I'm closer and closer to that age where discussions of bowel movements are de rigueur, I think I'm allowed to continue.]
I was awakened from my dream in the middle of the night (look for its description this Thursday) with a painful gas bubble. While waiting for it to be completely eliminated, I was struck with the thought that my bathroom kind of smelled like Lucky Charms. And not the marshmallow delights, but the toasted oat pieces leftover in the bag once you pick out the horseshoes and clovers and rainbows and etc etc. And I used to like Lucky Charms. So -- doctors -- why is that? Can you diagnose anything about my digestive issue? How am I ever to experience a magically delicious morning ever again?
FUN FACTS ABOUT LUCKY CHARMS (INCLUDING A LINE UP OF MARSHMALLOWS):
http://www.retroist.com/2009/03/17/lucky-charms-fun-facts-and-commercials/
I'LL BE DAMNED, THAT TOASTED OAT SMELL IS EXPECTED WITH INTESTINAL GAS:
http://www.aboutincontinence.org/site/about-incontinence/treatment/gas
YOU GIVE GRAMMAR A BAD NAME (BAD NAME):
http://www.cnn.com/2011/CRIME/01/08/arizona.shootings.suspect.social/index.html
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