Emergency Bra (now available commercially):
Used in a sentence: The Emergency Bra is now available commercially!
[OK, let's first address the giant pink (or purple, since that is really red and blue mixed together) elephant (and donkey and snake-that-is-not-tread-upon) in the room. I very easily could have used "GRIDLOCK is not a synonym for CHECKS and BALANCES" as my wordplay today -- but, come on, it's been an exhausting electioneering season. All I have to say is that leadership is about taking action and building consensus and not campaigning already to keep your seat at the next election, so let's see some of that make some press. The Constitution has been bandied about quite a bit of late, so how about we use it to get something done and not sit out the next two years in a partisan squabble-fest.]
So, having gotten that off my chest, I turn to something much more entertaining to get off a chest for today's willful respite from political overload -- the inventor of the Emergency Bra has now made it commercially available. If you haven't heard, in case of terrorist attack or nuclear catastrophe (don't mock -- she made it after witnessing Chernobyl's after effects), simply unhitch and separate into two face masks to increase your chances of survival.
To quote the inventress herself: "Ladies and gentlemen, isn't that wonderful that women have two breasts, not just one? We can save not only our own life, but also the life of a man of our choice next to us."
Unless, of course, he's wearing next season's emergency jockstrap!
$29.99 ALLOWS YOU TO FEEL EXTRA SECURE:
http://news.cnet.com/8301-27083_3-20017344-247.html
AND HERE's HOW YOU MAKE YOUR PURCHASE:
http://ebbra.bigcartel.com/
TO BE CLEAR, CHERNOBYL's NOT FUNNY:
http://www.chernobyl-international.com/
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