A Thanksgiving itinerary:
7:30 -- wake up at my family's place in South Bend and immediately start questioning the actual time, as I crossed over to EST yesterday on the trip in
8:30 -- realize it is really 8:30 locally and one hour of my holiday is quickly "lost"
9:05 -- after a morning constitutional, lay down on the couch to watch the Macy's day parade
10:30 -- doze off to my first nap of the day and marvel at how the Macy's day parade is really just one big commercial (mostly for NBC) and not much else; question how I possibly missed that in my youth
12:00 -- wake up to the voices of Ron Reagan Jr and Mr. Peterman; take an extra moment to realize the Dog Show is on
12:10 -- begin my round of visiting with family and the menagerie in the family compound -- one turtle, two dogs, three cats and a miniature rabbit that has long outlived his life span but is still happy to be photographed (see accompanying 2010 Holidays album)
1:30 -- start project for the day -- going back in my FB account to find posts from Jan 2010 to rebuild the blog from 1/1/10; frustrated, but FB eventually begrudgingly gives up the data after much painstaking labor and frequent screen freezes
3:00 -- convince giant cat Mauser to pose for pictures; consider sending shots to the Biggest Loser to see if he could be the first cat contestant; note that whereas people add weight to their face, cats just grow from the neck down; capture the "money shot" of Mauser covering his mouth while he's splayed out on the bed as if he's giggling at his largess
3:10 -- feeling guilty about the mocking of the fat cat, head upstairs to weigh myself (before we eat, because I'm strategic); note that I am 2 lbs lighter than my dr. visit last week but 11 lbs heavier than the holidays last year; wonder how big I have to get before I become a candidate to be a contestant on Biggest Loser; zone out trying to decide if I would rather have Bob or Jillian (or that one lady who barely did two seasons) as my trainer
3:20 -- realize that a nephew has arrived on his break from work; discuss his double entendre belt buckle and turtle sex as it relates to determining the gender (male turtles have concave bottoms so that they fit together with a female during copulation)
3:40 -- take a picture of Dolly's backside in the kitchen (it's a tradition) but promise in advance not to post it on FB this year
4:00 -- have a moment of silence to say grace and realize that my mind is having its own moment of silence remembering last year's bacon-wrapped turkey (pics on file on FB)
4:15 -- announce at dinner that holidays are better with kids running around; being to plan campaign for the nephews to impregnate their girlfriends to ultimately enhance future holiday celebrations
4:35 -- win the "last person to leave the table award" and begin to connect the dots about my 11 lb weight gain
5:20 -- gather around the phone to get call from another nephew who is two weeks into basic training; decide it is not the time to tell him to get a girl pregnant and instead, wish him well for the remaining weeks at boot camp
6:33 -- lose first game of Michigan Rummy in dramatic fashion, with high score 7x that of winner's low score
6:34 -- undaunted, begin second game of Michigan Rummy, only to lose it as well
7:05 -- wrap up card game quickly so that scorekeeper can run to living room to watch "Pumkin Chuckin'"
7:06 -- begin tradition of sending holiday texts to important folks in my cell phone
8:05 -- after an evening constitutional, lay down on couch for second nap of the day
10:30 -- post photos, and this random thought to the blog; briefly consider that I might be sharing too much too often
11:00 -- prepare for battle at Wal-mart; review my plan to buy TVonDVD at special low prices starting at 12:01; begin to fear that I may be in over my head, being in Indiana and at a Walmart at midnight
11:01 -- close my post by stating: "If I am the victim of a stampede, please know that my last thoughts were to wish you and yours a Happy Thanksgiving!"
THE AD FOR WHICH I WILL RISK MY LIFE TONIGHT:
http://www.walmart.com/cp/black-friday-deals/1076614
JEFFREY THE TURTLE IS ACTUALLY A GIRL!:
http://in.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20070508171652AADN2yA
THE AFOREMENTIONED HOLIDAY ALBUM:
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=48308&id=1843633569&l=a11808616c
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