I don't mean to go off on a rant here, but ...
... why aren't elevators more forgiving?
If I get confused as I board and hit the wrong floor, why can't I cancel my request and choose again instead of having to take a trip to a destination I never really wanted in the first place? Mistakenly pushed buttons are relatively common (or else I have trigger-fingers in those contraptions) and I'm not getting any younger while I stop at a lonely floor where nothing happens except my looking foolish when the doors open and I refuse to exit.
And while I'm at it, where do elevators go when no one is calling for them? Do they rest at the first floor? Are they smart enough to analyze their travels and head to the most frequently requested stop? Can they be bribed to always wait at the location that someone wants? Do they feel fulfilled when they are full -- or do they resent the fact that we're always demanding that they take us hither and yon? If they are part of a bank of elevators, do they race each other when no one is looking?
Do you think as a group that they resent the connotation of elevator music? That they take pride in the importance of an elevator pitch? That they blush at the amorous activities of Aerosmith while riding in them (go...ing...down)? That they mock the distance traveled in height when used in a shoe to falsify someone's stature?
By the way, why aren't there more escalators? And what's with those people who insist on walking up them when they're doing a sufficient enough job of advancing you another story or two if you just demonstrate the slightest bit of patience?
And it's 2010. Why aren't there people movers like we were promised? I'm tired of having to ambulate vertically without mechanical assistance!
Actually, I think I'm just tired in general. I should stop now ...
HOW TO HACK AN ELEVATOR (maybe?):
http://www.wonderhowto.com/how-to-hack-elevator-go-directly-your-floor-218650/
COMING SOON TO A SOCIAL MEDIA NEAR YOU - THE TWIT-PITCH:
http://searchengineland.com/the-elevator-pitch-is-dead-introducing-the-twitpitch-13944
FORGET THE AMBULANCE CHASER - HERE's AN ESCALATOR ACCIDENT CHASER:
http://www.personalinjurydefenders.com/Escalator-Accident-Attorney.html
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