Dearest Mama Bowersox:
I'm sorry that Ryan Seacrest has been such an ass to you. I'm sorry that he said last week that Shania Twain had such bright teeth, a clear dig at you and some of the early slams that were sent your way. I'm sorry that you trusted him with some information and I'm sorry that he blabbed your confidence when he ran out of things to say on the air on one of his shows. I'm sorry they didn't just cancel the contest once we got down to the top ten and I'm sorry they didn't just give you this season's "honor" and I'm sorry that you had to worry that the boy with the bright white smile (oops -- how Ryan of me) might actually make it to the top three instead of you and Lee and Aaron (that's a prediction, y'all). Most of all, I'm sorry that you sang that awful version of Shania Twain's "No One Needs to Know", and I offer up this version of Shania performing the song live in 2003's concert that took place in my new hometown, Chicago's Grant Park, which was once a Twain yard. (Oh, and I'm also sorry that I had to add to the uninspired puns so prevalent in last week's episode.)
SHANIA IN CHICAGO's GRANT PARK IN 2003:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A6YLFKXNb4Q
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