Capricious Cognition: Random Soapbox for Saturday 12/6/14

December 6, 2014

Random Soapbox for Saturday 12/6/14

I don't mean to go off on a rant here, but ...

... if confession is good for the soul, then it's time for me to confess a little something something that I do ... in a serial kind of way.

And don't worry ... I'm not talking about anything Cosbified. Or Dahmerish. Or Vikingesque. (So that rules out raping, murdering and pillaging.)

Here's my problem ... and how I make myself a part of the solution. My favorite grocery store here in Ft. Lauderdale (I dare not say the name of it lest what I do is an actionable offense) has a tendency to overuse these privacy screens (known as "family shields", according to the interwebs) at the checkout counter with its magazine selection.

Mind you ... this place isn't selling anything that prints steamy fictional letters describing allegedly "real" encounters (not that I would know what *those* are or anything) ... just the normal run of the mill random periodicals that you would expect to find in ... well... the checkout counter of a grocery store.

And it's Ft. Lauderdale ... not Amish country OR a red state OR a dry county OR an establishment that still has blue laws OR the place where those silly Pilgrims did their Thanksgiving feast shopping circa 1621 OR Nazi Germany (oops ... there goes Godwin's Law in effect [see my upcoming post on Wed of this week if you are unfamiliar]) ... but the part of Florida directly responsible for turning it purple, filled with international visitors who have a much different view of whether it's sex or violence that Americans should be screening from its youth.

So consider yourself on notice ... if you have a problem with your kiddies seeing side boob or too much cleavage or the word S-E-X in the grocery store checkout lane, I'd advise you to pick an aisle that I'm not in. Because, with consistency, and until someone from the Supreme Court stops me, every aisle I go through will look like the below picture after I'm gone. (And if any policepeople are reading this, rest assured I simply move the "family screen" behind the row of magazines ... I'm not taking the grocery store property or anything so drastic.)

Feel free to join me in my crusade to stop boobie-censorship! Or, if you feel the opposite, feel free to follow after me at the grocery store to undo the good that I'm doing. It's a free country and all ...